Preface Warning to the Reader
– Congratulations, Daria, you have been accepted to practice with Ilena Squatter!
Dasha shook my hand with great respect.
“You know little about me,” I continued, “but you will soon find out.” We will work together, I will try to teach you everything I know. And in a month I will make you not just a manager, but an intelligent modern person. This will be an invaluable experience for you, and for me it will be a small teaching experience. So, are you ready?
Leonid Kaganov. "Lena Squatter and the Paragon of Retribution"
This is not just a book - it is an arsenal book. Quite serious and powerful techniques are described here that can change both your life and the lives of those with whom fate brings you together. Among other things, I wrote it with a degree of sincerity that shocked me, describing the mechanisms of influence as they are. No censorship. This means no fuses.
So I recommend you remember: these are not toys. You'll actually be able to get things out of people that you couldn't before. You can actually influence them even at the level of their well-being. You will understand how easy it is to induce a trance and how easy it is to instill the ideas and impulses you need. Therefore, it is better, even for gaming or training purposes, to give only those suggestions that you yourself would not refuse.
I made the decision to write openly consciously. The fact is that we all, in one way or another, constantly influence both ourselves and those around us. And with words, and gestures, and facial expressions, and intonations... So the question is not whether to influence or not to influence. The question is whether you know what impact your words and actions have. And would you like to change something in them when you find out their true meaning? Ethics is not about refusing to manipulate, but about consciously choosing ethical goals for your skills.
* * *
This is not just a book - it is a coaching book. She doesn't just inform - she teaches. And although I will not be able to teach you everything that I teach in my trainings, I tried to make sure that you get the most from it. Even with inattentive reading. As you read it, you will at times be immersed in a trance, where you will receive and assimilate all the necessary teaching suggestions. The book will provoke you to emotions, to argue with me or with the authors I quote. Everything is fine. That's how it was intended.
Some sentences may go beyond the boundaries of Russian grammar. Everything is correct. The laws of neurolinguistic programming and conversational hypnosis dictate their own ways of handling words. And it is quite possible that all these nuances will be noticed only by the editor, but not by you.
Some themes and thoughts will be repeated repeatedly. With the same images. Sometimes - with the same words. When you first read it, I recommend you just believe: this is how it should be. The second reading will give you several times more information: you will already understand what and why I am doing in this book. A third reading will show that the bottom here is not double, but triple.
And at some point you will discover that you can do this too. And you may be surprised that you ever thought it was difficult. Yes, yes, everything is exactly that simple. And I’m not a magician, but just a human being just like you.
* * *
As usual, I illustrated some of my thoughts with anecdotes. And thanks to those people who were not too lazy to post them on the relevant sites. But most of the illustrations here appeared thanks to the wonderful books of Sergei Lukyanenko and Leonid Kaganov. These are truly masters of words from whom I myself still have to learn and learn.
I would like to hope that thanks to the examples offered here you will be able to learn not only from textbooks, but also simply by listening to what and how they broadcast on TV and radio, and simply sounds in the most ordinary conversations. Not to mention business negotiations. A treasure trove of knowledge all around! You just need to know where to look. That's exactly what I'm going to teach you in this book.
Part 1 Basics of Conversational Hypnosis
Chapter 1 What is conversational hypnosis
Any person who has ever fed a child with a spoon has put him in a slight trance. First, you take a spoon and stir the porridge. Then you scoop some porridge into a spoon and meet your child’s eyes. Your breathing even adjusts. What do you do next? You need to put the porridge in the baby's mouth. You open your mouth and the child does the same. And you hold out the spoon...
Betty Alice Erickson. New hypnosis lessons
Conversational hypnosis is an applied branch of Ericksonian hypnosis. All clear? Not everyone. Therefore, we will deal with every word that is spoken.
Hypnosis is a technology for putting a person into a state in which he cannot or does not want to resist our influences. Let's say he likes us so much that he is ready to listen to any nonsense. Or he is so disoriented that he does not follow the nuances. Or he sees in us the only way to his salvation, whatever that may be. There are many options. Hypnosis is a way to provide us with this joy.
Ericksonian hypnosis is a direction developed by students of the greatest hypnotherapist of the 20th century, Milton Erickson. He managed to refute the myth, widespread at that time, that there were people immune to hypnotic influence. They say that someone who has strong willpower cannot be hypnotized. Everyone succumbed to Erickson's charms.
The essence of his method was that Milton Erickson did not use one specific method of hypnosis, but a whole palette of tools. Therefore, if one of them did not work as it should, the doctor moved on to the next one faster than those around him could notice his mistake. Someone compared the work of a master to the work of an “intelligent burglar.” There are a lot of master keys - one doesn’t open, tries another. Until the result.
Fortunately for us, this turned out to be not a property of genius, but a master-independent technology that anyone can learn. True, this required quite painstaking work by Erickson himself and his students to identify the nuances of this technology. The greatest merit in this matter belongs to Ernst Rossi and the founders of neurolinguistic programming (NLP) - John Grinder and Richard Bandler.
So we can consider conversational hypnosis not only a direction of Ericksonian hypnosis, but also one of the NLP models - a model of Milton Erickson’s hypnotic work. Or, as they say in NLP, the Milton model. Its applied part.
The fact is that, although Milton Erickson himself used his hypnotic abilities primarily for psychotherapy and training, the model of communication separated from the source showed its highest effectiveness in completely other areas. The Milton model works in public speaking, in sales, in negotiations, in interacting with superiors, in leading subordinates... In a word, wherever we need to get something from other people.
Erickson demonstrated that hypnosis can be subtle. That a person can be in a hypnotic trance without noticing it. That suggestions can be given in the most ordinary conversation, and pragmatic helpers (NLP specialists) could not help but begin to use this for their own purposes. This is how conversational hypnosis was born.
Inconspicuous hypnosis
“Your colleagues,” Nika began soulfully, “claim that you are capable of damaging salaries and bonuses, bewitching clients, and are even capable of conjuring a reprimand and dismissal...
“There are no miracles here,” I smiled. – These are the usual business qualities of any professional manager of our Corporation. We're all wizards here.
Leonid Kaganov. Lena Squatter and the Paragon of Retribution
Formal hypnosis is beautiful. Formal hypnosis is effective. Glazed eyes, spontaneous movements, gradual blurring of facial features and relaxation of the body... Beauty! And what an excellent illusion of power! He offered to see a butterfly - he saw it, said that he felt good and comfortable, - it blurred in peace, hinted that his hand could rise - it was already in the air.
Only... Has anyone managed to achieve real business results this way? Won the negotiations, the tender? Sold your product? Or maybe mastery of formal trance induction techniques has helped someone in their family life? Got your lover back? Did it help calm a fussy child?
The picture, of course, is drawn spectacularly! I go into the boss's office. I suggest focusing on the sensations in the tips of your toes. I inform you that on the count of three he will enter a state of deep trance. "Once! Two! Three!" - the boss freezes, waiting for the command... I propose to promote me and send me on a business trip to the Canary Islands. After which I give a suggestion for amnesia and allow the boss to come out of his trance.
Maybe? Yes, if you help the “good word” with a pistol.
One could also say that some grand master of hypnosis could do something similar, but... Do you really think that a professional of this class would work so clumsily? What do you! The master works differently, more subtly, without external effects. He won’t be able to show him a recording of the conversation, no matter how many microphones he has!
Do you know why? When a conversational hypnosis specialist works, no one notices this. There is a result. But it is difficult to trace the connection between words and results.
Often, a true master of hypnosis does not have a hypnotic gaze, bushy eyebrows and imperious gestures - on the contrary, he is characterized by easy talkativeness, some absent-mindedness, constant politeness and a rich sense of humor. However, the ability to fit into the desired social environment is a professional skill. He may look like an energetic businessman. He may turn out to be the life of a cheerful company. He can present himself both in the image of an imposing gentleman and a seasoned wolf. It can be either in the center or on the periphery. And they treat him the way he needs at the moment. Most often, slightly condescendingly, with a bit of irony. It's easier to work this way.
A traffic cop is standing guard at the exit of the restaurant. A tipsy crowd comes out, gets into cars and goes off in different directions. The traffic cop noticed one who could barely move his legs at all, so he followed him and stopped him:
- Blow into the tube!
The result is zero.
The traffic cop is perplexed:
- How can this be?
Man:
– And today I’m on duty for a diversionary maneuver.
What does it look like? Just like a normal conversation. Or like a heart-to-heart conversation. Or as social chatter. Or as a business presentation. Like baiting jokes, like a toast at a table, like a phrase “accidentally” heard in someone else’s conversation, like an insignificant stage in negotiations... The formal purpose and topics of the conversation are not important - you will have your own tasks. Just let me say my word.
And we’ll leave all these games with “sit back, close your eyes” to those who can only work at the request of the person being hypnotized. Let them enjoy the “power” to give instructions. And we are modest people, we don’t need power - give us results.
Hypnotic magnetism
- We are managers. It sounds proud. A manager should dress appropriately. What is right? In any case, today everything is done by China. These are all fakes. China makes bad fakes and good fakes. Both come to Moscow and end up in markets, stalls, boutiques and shopping centers with equal probability. The only difference is the price. If a thing is done properly, it can be seen from afar. No one will study your label with a magnifying glass. Also, remember: men make decisions in business. And men, Daria, are extremely stupid creatures who understand nothing about the design of women's clothing. Therefore, we can buy a jacket at a stall.
Leonid Kaganov. Lena Squatter and the Paragon of Retribution
You may have already guessed that since conversational hypnosis can be used in a wide variety of areas of activity, then most likely it will be used everywhere. By reading this book, you will be convinced that you are right. You will see the techniques described here almost everywhere: in TV shows, in films, in conversations between work colleagues, in books, in gossip, in jokes, in songs... You will see that almost everyone uses conversational hypnosis!
So what? Am I going to teach you something you already know???
Yes. Once you master conversational hypnosis, you will do everything the same as before.
But excuse me, you have the right to be indignant, I want to learn new things
communication techniques!
But here I allow myself to say: “No.”
You don’t want to do something new, but get new results.
. Most likely, you want to speak more convincingly. You want people to do for you what you need. You want others to treat you well: to think well of you and speak well of you. You want to take control of the situation, instead of habitually leaving it to chance and more experienced communicators. And much more.
So: all this is quite possible, even if you use the same communication tools as before. Moreover, this is only
if you use the same tools.
A typical morning in the family of Evgeniy Grishkovets...
- Dad, give me some salt.
- Here, take some salt... well, like salt... just white grains that when you sprinkle them on your tongue, they leave a salty taste. Or in childhood, when my mother...
Mom comes out:
- Well, like a mother, just a woman who spends most of her time with you, who loves you to death...
- Fuck you, I’d rather eat at school!
By the way, this is where many inexperienced hypnotists broke off when they tried to apply in life the skills they were taught during training sessions on exclusive hypnotic techniques. They suddenly began to glare at their interlocutors with a “hypnotic” gaze, howl in a “hypnotic” voice and construct their speech, as in an interlinear translation of English-speaking authors.
At first they were simply recognized as strange and shied away from them. Then people became more literate and began to realize that “this is zzzzzzh for a reason.” They understood that hypnosis was being used on them. And they broke off contact.
And so did the same people who easily went into a trance (a state under hypnosis) and succumbed to suggestion where they were not aware of the hypnotic influence! Under TV shows, under conversations in transport, under kitchen chatter. Not to mention sermons and propaganda of all stripes.
The fact is that everyone hypnotizes and suggests. And quite often. And trance is experienced dozens of times a day. Short term, really. Everyone has an impact. Every word. With every gesture. Every change of intonation. With every glance. But! Few people know how exactly his words, gestures, intonations, etc. respond.
And it turns out that the mother, wanting obedience, inspires the child that he is a hooligan. That the seller, saying: “Don’t rush to refuse!”, pushes the client to refuse. That spouses, wanting to stop a quarrel, yell at each other: “Don’t yell!” That the boss himself first kills the desire to do at least something in his subordinates, and then wonders why the employees do not show initiative.
This picture reminds me of the difference between an unorganized mass of people, where everyone goes about their own business, and a crowd pushing in one direction. In the first case, the total effect will be zero, in the second - it’s better to sit out “in the province by the sea.”
Or how the school physics course explains the difference between an ordinary piece of iron and a magnet. They say that in ordinary hardware there are many “small magnets”, each of which is directed in an arbitrary direction. Therefore, their total impact is similar to the impact of Krylov’s swan, crayfish and pike, for which “things are still there.” If the iron is magnetized, then all the “little magnets” begin to look in the same direction, and their joint efforts are able to attract and repel fairly large loads.
So a conversational hypnosis specialist does everything the same as ordinary people. It’s just that all its influences are “magnetized” in the direction it needs. So that they trust more, so that they consider his product the best, so that they want to agree with his proposals... All efforts are aimed at one point! That's why the results are impressive.
Martin Leivitz - NLP. Conversational hypnosis
Martin Leivitz
NLP. Conversational hypnosis
Introduction
“In the beginning was the Word,” says the Bible, one of the great books of all times and peoples. Have you noticed that sometimes the result of important negotiations depends not so much on words, but on intonation and tempo of speech? Would you like to accept proposals that sounded unusually tongue-tied? “Well, like, you’ll probably agree? It’s so profitable!” It is unlikely that in this case your interlocutor will achieve the mutual understanding he needs.
But having learned to speak the same language with your interlocutor, you will definitely achieve everything you want. Master beautiful speech - and you will conquer power over the world! In this book we offer you amazing conversational hypnosis techniques based on neurolinguistic programming. For a long time, the most effective techniques were used mainly by intelligence officers.
What’s amazing is that it’s not difficult to master hypnotic speech and the ability to influence your interlocutors. Very soon you will learn to influence your interlocutors in ways you never imagined. You will master trance induction and methods of verbal suggestion.
Moreover: by applying the proposed techniques, you can successfully avoid outside influence. But remember: caution doesn’t hurt even at the skill development stage! Before influencing your interlocutor verbally, think: would you like to receive a similar “push” yourself?
You can apply NLP techniques as you read the book. Almost immediately you will feel favorable changes in your own life.
Chapter first. NLP: what do you eat it with?
What is NLP? This abbreviation stands for “neurolinguistic programming.” “Neuro” means that NLP is concerned with the functioning of nerve cells in the brain. “Linguistic” is the verbal component, speech and communication. And finally, “programming” - by analogy with a computer - the creation of positive programs that work in our lives. Having studied NLP, you will become a programmer of your own life, learn to achieve your goals and change your relationships with others for the better.
1.1. What can you program?
Where did this mysterious NLP come from? In fact, there is no exact answer to this question. By and large, neurolinguistic programming techniques have been used by people since ancient times. Talent, intuition, oratory abilities - all this, to one degree or another, relates to NLP. According to one version, two American researchers put all the working methods together.
In the 1970s, mathematics student Richard Bandler met linguist John Grinder. The researchers unanimously came to the following conclusion: if you learn something new and at the same time pay attention not only to words, but also to the behavior and movements of the information carrier, the learning process progresses more successfully. The friends decided to take a closer look at the phenomenon they noticed.
At that time, the popular psychiatrist Fritz Perls spoke in the United States. Bandler tried to imitate the doctor. The process of “copying” experience led researchers to interesting conclusions: it turned out that it is possible to become more successful, first of all, by imitating the manner and pace of speech of a successful person. All these data gradually led to the creation of neurolinguistic programming.
Scientists worked on new data while practicing psychotherapy. The new stage of their activities made it possible to learn important information. For example, NLP adherents know: if you are terrified of something, the object of your phobia in your imagination is always very close. Change your perception, move away from your personal “horror” - and you will get rid of obsessive fear. Observe your nightmares as if from the outside - and the problem will remain in the past.
Somewhat later, Milton Erickson, founder of the Society of Medical Hypnosis, joined Bandler and Grinder. Further work, to one degree or another, revealed to researchers the secrets of verbal hypnosis.
Of course, NLP didn't stop there. Human programming and self-programming is constantly evolving. These days there are a huge number of working techniques and methods, some of which you can use to work on yourself, others to influence others. It turned out that the action of NLP has practically no boundaries. There is not a single problem that this teaching cannot cope with.
You can program anything using NLP. Programming techniques are used in trainings for managers and psychotherapists, for couples and businessmen. If you master this technique, you will change for the better. Moreover, you will learn to adjust the universe to your needs and desires.
1.2. Change yourself and the world will change
The simplest neurolinguistic programming techniques will help you improve your quality of life. But before we get to them, let's get to know NLP a little better. In essence, NLP is based on the interaction between the world and man. Agree, everything we see around influences our beliefs. Habits developed over the years affect the quality of life.
The simplest example: you are used to putting everything off “for later”, because life in your family flowed smoothly, and there was nowhere to rush. As you grow up, you are faced with the harmfulness of this habit: the tasks you put off accumulate and fall on you.
Essentially, NLP teaches us to work with our environment and the so-called subjective reality, changing life for the better. NLP is not a theoretical discipline, but a collection of practical techniques. Within the framework of neurolinguistic programming, you do not have to dive into the depths of cause-and-effect relationships, as most psychological teachings do. You will learn to search and find solutions.
NLP methods use your subconscious, your own nervous system, which contains all the resources necessary for a comfortable and successful existence. Moreover, having mastered programming techniques, you will be able to take the best in those around you and model the behavioral realities needed at one time or another.
Let's look at a few NLP techniques that can be useful to each of us. For example, with the help of NLP you can get rid of fear.
So, you are afraid of something or someone. What are you doing? Present the reason for your phobia as vividly and in detail as possible. Let a picture appear before your inner gaze. Now move the image further away from you. At the same time, your fear becomes less and less, the bright colors seem to be erased. Gradually, instead of fear, you will feel only pity - the image will turn out to be so insignificant.
The following model of action is ideal for solving a variety of psychological difficulties: “Symptoms, causes, results, resources, effects” (score in English, which can be translated as “score”). On the count of five, you can easily resolve personal difficulties.
So, symptoms are your emotions here and now. You are angry with your children, afraid of a black cat, or depressed. Causes are the experiences in your past that led to this state. Usually it is difficult to get to the bottom of the true reasons; they can be hidden in early childhood. For example, you were scared by a black cat in kindergarten. Having already matured, you will not feel too comfortable in the company of this animal.
The result is the state we strive for. Resources are your personal experience, which you will use for your own benefit. And finally, the last point is the effects: you will enjoy the results for a long time!
Now let's start practicing. Take, for example, the problem “I am afraid to speak in public.” Think of a “time line” as an imaginary line about 4 meters long on the floor. Mark the past, present and future, the segment after the future symbolizes the effects. Stand at the point of the “present” and describe your symptoms: you are not confident enough in yourself, your throat is dry; when you're in front of an audience, you can't even put two words together. Take a step back and take a mental look at yourself in the present. Imagine yourself in the future when the problem is resolved. Look at your future self from the outside. What do you see? A self-confident person, able to speak convincingly in front of people, easily finding arguments against objections. Now stand on a time line in the future and imagine all the sensations you will experience after solving the problem. For example: “Learning to speak in front of people makes me feel great. I enjoy power over the crowd. They listen to me carefully and I relax.”
Having realized all your sensations, return to the point of the present and again experience positive emotions. Remember your state as clearly as possible.
Now slowly move towards the past, looking for the reasons for your fear of performing. It is very important to find the origins of such a problem. Perhaps, in your distant childhood, you tried to tell something, and you were rudely interrupted and ridiculed. Once you have found the traumatic event, remember it as clearly as possible. Now we attract resources: what could you do in this situation now? Probably laugh with everyone else and choose a more appropriate moment to speak. It could have been much more successful. Emotionally experience the resolution of the problem in the past, looking at the situation differently. Gradually move towards the present, remembering similar situations in the past.
