How to develop willpower and self-discipline

How to develop willpower in a child?

A child's willpower is formed by overcoming difficulties.
In other words, parents - the child's first teachers and the first school of life - should not protect the child from the natural and real conditions of life. The world is full of both joy and sadness, both life and death, both work and rest, both entertainment and necessary work. Parents must live real life and introduce the child to all its sides, not protect him from problems, difficulties and needs. At each age, the child must be given certain tasks, prohibitions and restrictions that are accepted in society

It’s important to take into account the child’s age and set feasible tasks for him! Do not demand from him what he cannot yet do or understand. Punish only for failure to do the required work, failure to keep one's word, or deception.

Basic ways to train willpower

Perhaps one of the most effective methods that I have come across is the advice in the book “Willpower” by Stanford University professor Kelly McGonigal.

Below is the “top” of the main tips from the book:

Self-control is a muscle that can be trained by gradually increasing the load. You don't need to do everything at once. Continuing the analogy, you cannot put heavy loads on the muscles, and with self-control. Find your “volitional rhythm” at a certain time, because it is completely different throughout the day.
Ten minute rule. It is based on the fact that evolutionarily man is inclined to act quickly, because this helped him to survive. Now we don’t really need such a function, so before you eat a piece of cake, wait 10 minutes, during which you list all the possible benefits of restraining yourself. In most cases, after this period you are unlikely to eat it. And vice versa: if you don’t want to continue something, still extend it for another 10 minutes.
Find your surroundings. The habits of some people tend to be passed on to others around them, so if in the company of your friends it is customary to play sports, then sooner or later this will be passed on to you. As the saying goes, “whoever you mess with, that’s how you’ll gain.”

“Dopaminize” unwanted actions. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that is responsible for feelings of pleasure. It is clear that eating sweets brings you positive emotions, but playing sports does not always do so. Therefore, try to stimulate the production of dopamine in the process of things that are not very pleasant at first glance. For example, play sports with music or choose dancing rather than fitness if you don't like it. Learn to enjoy the process that leads you to your cherished goal.

Be clear about your goal. Visualize what you most want to achieve. You can create a poster or put a screensaver on your phone, the main thing is that it gives you enough motivation for specific actions on the way to your goal.

Good deeds do not give you the right to forbidden actions. For example, you have been playing sports for a long time, you have overpowered yourself, but you don’t need to reward yourself with a cake for this if you are on a diet.

Stop beating yourself up for failures. If you feel guilty after troubles, this kills your motivation and self-control, because they are based on positive emotions. Not everything always works out the first time, so it’s better to sympathize with yourself and work on your mistakes, but pity and guilt are definitely not your allies.

Reduce stress. Yes, in the conditions of modern life this is extremely difficult. But if a person is under stress, then the level of willpower drops sharply

Therefore, it is important to establish a sleep schedule, walk at least 30 minutes a day in the fresh air and fall in love with sports.

At first glance, it may seem that these are all obvious things. But if you make at least some of them your habits, and don’t give up halfway, then sooner or later your persistence will bear fruit - you will form a new lifestyle. Don't look for excuses - act!

Abstraction

There is a well-known phenomenon called “marshmallow”. Researchers conducted an experiment to determine the reaction of children to forced abstinence from something tasty, in this case, marshmallows. It turned out that strong-willed children used simple distractions to keep themselves from temptation. They sang and played some games until the time ran out. As a reward for their patience, these children received a double serving of marshmallows.

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Willpower weakens with every thought of even a small, but momentary pleasure. The main prize goes to the most patient.

Why self-discipline is needed

First of all, in work and achieving goals. This is what Mike Tyson says about her:

The world knows many cases when hard work overshadowed talent. And this doesn’t only apply to sports.

Discipline also makes a person happy. It sounds stupid, but in reality it is true. Firstly, discipline leads to success, and it makes you happy. Secondly, willpower helps control emotions. And our reaction is determined not by the event itself, but by our attitude towards it.

Also, awareness of your discipline raises self-esteem, and with it your mood. If a person knows that he is good, he feels much better. Also, someone who has developed willpower understands that he is ready for anything. Therefore, such a person will feel absolutely calm even in difficult times.

Discipline makes relationships stronger. For the sake of your partner, you will have to do what you don’t want to do. And for a person with developed willpower there is nothing difficult about this.

But due to lack of discipline, the following problems may arise:

Psychoses
Failures
Low self-esteem
Communication problems

How to develop willpower and vital core

A person’s inner core is a special personal component that makes him strong. This “core” allows a person to withstand the pressure of life’s difficulties, helps solve life situations, develop, grow as a person. It is often said about a person with a fairly stable psyche that he has an inner core.

An individual who has a developed, strong spiritual core also has willpower. The stronger this core, the more it can withstand the negative events that fall on its shoulders. A person with a weak inner core may be more likely to break under the pressure of events. So, for example, a person who has willpower, a powerful inner core, will be able to become very successful in a fairly short time. This person knows how to use resources wisely, without being distracted by unnecessary things.

It is very important for every person to develop their spiritual inner core. To do this, you need to set a goal for which you would like to do everything possible

This will also discipline and develop willpower, since a person will not have to be distracted by other things.

Daily work aimed at developing self-control can also develop the inner core, willpower. To do this, you should learn to finish what you start. Only goal setting is an important aspect to develop this core.

The ability to defend your point of view in all conversations helps you develop the habit of expressing your thoughts and voicing your opinions. This skill should be practiced in any conversation.

How to develop willpower and vital core? It is necessary to develop an inner sense for everything that happens, to listen to your own inner voice. The inner core is the essence of the personality, its soul. A person must trust his soul, develop and trust himself. This core is created from the moral qualities of a person. Moral positions, honesty, and a sense of dignity can be cultivated; they will help develop your core.

Ways through which an individual can develop his inner core - the ability to be himself, without comparing himself with others, and to bear responsibility. The inner core is a special attitude and belief that you can overcome anything, any difficult situation. A person with an inner core has spiritual values that cannot be destroyed. If a tragedy occurs, he will be able to control himself, to control himself, since love, faith, and his hope remain with him. Such a person has specific goals, he knows the meaning of life.

To develop willpower and vital core, you need to be decisive and independent, not shift responsibility, and not take into account the opinions of others. Only the person himself knows his capabilities and desires, so he should not allow prejudice and fear to stop him.

The basis of one’s own faith and confidence can be moral qualities. Passions and instincts capture a person entirely, but they cannot be the reason for renunciation of personal values. A person who knows how to endure difficulties will not sacrifice his own dignity in order to satisfy himself with instant joy. This means that for this he needs to designate moral principles.

Developing your inner core means gaining a winning mindset. A person for whom what is most important is what is in his soul will be able to survive the loss, because he is confident that he will be able to cope. The individual views the next difficulty as an experience and a lesson. A person who knows that he can overcome anything is determined to achieve a specific goal, does not look for compromises, and therefore never doubts. When he creates a dream, he calculates the necessary actions to implement it, makes it real, not illusory. To achieve his dream, he needs to give up attractions and distractions; for this he needs to develop willpower.

The inner core of a person is the willingness to conquer oneself. Giving up unhealthy habits builds willpower and can develop an inner core. A confident, strong individual is never unreasonable

Such people are ready to take other people's opinions into account. They often seek new opportunities to understand themselves and others

Because in order to gain a spiritual core and develop willpower, you need to try every day to become better.

Good Habits

The first strategy will seem quite extreme. But in reality it will give results. It will help you develop efforts to move in the necessary direction. Strategy No. 2 will complement it well.

As a rule, any goal can be achieved if you do not stop and regularly go towards it. If you want to test your willpower, force yourself to regularly do things that will benefit you in the future. You can develop positive habits - morning exercises, jogging.

I would like to tell you a little story. The hero and explorer of Africa, Henry Morton Stanley, made it a rule to shave every day, no matter where he was - on vacation, in a comfortable environment, in the jungle, in a state of fatigue or hunger. Shaving every day was not a fundamentally important habit of his, but it allowed him to maintain his “human appearance,” youth and authority in front of his companions. This motivated him and reminded him that the main task was not survival, but a way to prove that his face should be in perfect shape. This is a kind of challenge to hostile nature, a desire to prove that even in a difficult situation a person must find the willpower to remain human.

If you systematically perform the same actions, they will definitely become a habit, and you won’t have to force yourself. If you regularly stimulate yourself to take action, you will notice that difficulties are overcome more easily.

Moving from theory to practice

Perseverance is a muscle that requires daily work and action.

That's why it's important to figure out how to develop willpower. Every time a person acts contrary to his own desires, perseverance and the ability to control his weaknesses become stronger

As soon as a person indulges his habits, willpower turns into flabby muscle.

Start small

In other words, don't try to lift too much weight without proper training. Don't try to achieve a lot in one day. Take things gradually and set yourself an easy goal to start with. Having achieved it, a person will feel satisfaction and a desire to move on. The first victory fills you with strength and motivates you to further action.

Planning and daily routine

If you're really interested in how to develop willpower, start by organizing your daily routine. First of all, give up the habit of sleeping too long and wake up at the same time. Make an effort and feel how easy your day will go. In addition, maintaining a sleep-wake schedule is beneficial for health.

Plan your activities for the whole day and follow the plan. Be sure to set goals for yourself, for example, read a useful book, spend time with your child, learn 10 foreign words, wash the dishes after every meal.

Don't put it off until later

No one knows what will happen tomorrow, so, having defined a goal for yourself, follow it today and now. From a psychological point of view, by postponing things until “later,” a person accumulates a burden of responsibility and a feeling of discomfort arises.

Play sports

Regular training disciplines, strengthens willpower, and helps overcome laziness. Every sport requires you to step over yourself and overcome discomfort.

Start with simple workouts at home for at least 10-15 minutes a day. Do the exercises at the same time.

Do useful things

Stop watching TV and social networks. Read more, spend time outdoors, do things that improve you.

If you make a promise, keep it or don't make it at all.

Every promise must turn into a matter of honor that must be followed through. Instead of “must,” tell yourself “I give my word” or “I promise.” By keeping your promise, you train your willpower and, accordingly, strengthen your muscle.

In practice, it looks like this: don’t scold yourself for the time spent in front of the computer, but firmly promise yourself to join the gym or go to the pool instead of playing computer games.

Be restrained in your gastronomic weaknesses

Avoid fast food snacks, eliminate sausages and other unhealthy foods, review the menu, and eat healthy foods. Once you have created your menu, start implementing it on the same day. Prepare a simple but tasty dish. The experience will undoubtedly be interesting and useful for you.

If you need to lose weight, eat three times a day and make it a goal to eat nothing between meals.

Get rid of bad habits

Remember that every bottle of beer, every cigarette is your weakness. Fight your weaknesses, overcome them. After all, bad habits lead to personality degradation and the triumph of the simplest instincts.

Meditate

Meditation is the first step towards strengthening volitional self-control. The benefits of meditation are obvious:

helps relax;
teaches to control emotions and control the body;
puts thoughts in order;
the person becomes more disciplined.

According to statistics, global personality changes begin with meditation. To feel positive changes, you need to meditate twice a day

The essence of the practice is this: throughout the session, hold the same pose and focus your attention on something specific. Every time your attention tries to wander to the side, by force of will return it to its starting point.

Take action today

Don't put off your plans until tomorrow or next week. Start getting up 30 minutes earlier, go to the store and buy a useful book, buy a set of healthy products.

Volitional self-control is an amazing phenomenon that protects a person from laziness, fall and degradation.

5 simple ways to develop and strengthen willpower - watch the video.

Forced activation

A good way to increase motivation is to distribute priorities between tasks that you need to complete, but least want to do. Imagine that you are faced with a difficult project at work or school, you will meet a rude and unpleasant person, you will end up washing a bunch of dirty dishes or cleaning out the pantry. As a rule, such activities bring us little pleasure. However, they are interesting to us from a different perspective. What exactly can strengthen willpower in this situation?

If a task is difficult and interesting for us, of course, we are happy to start doing it. In this case, we are driven by interest; it is this that motivates us to action. If the matter is not of interest to us, then, accordingly, we should make volitional efforts. The question is asked: “Then why wait until willpower “turns on” under unfavorable conditions, if everything can be corrected in advance?” Initially, it will be a burden to do things that mean little to us, but this is the main criterion by which one can judge a weak will.

Interesting facts related to fortitude

Psychologist Baumeister says that willpower is like a muscle. It either pumps up or weakens from a person’s fatigue. He also argues that fortitude is interconnected with decision-making ability. Advice from a psychologist on how to strengthen and develop willpower, as well as how to learn to make decisions correctly:

You need to make important decisions only in the morning.
Reinforce the body and brain with glucose from time to time.
You should not make one decision after another. The brain gets tired and eventually the final conclusions will be wrong.
Fatigue is the number one enemy of willpower, self-control and correct conclusions.
Every day you should create a routine and strictly follow it, this will help you save energy and not waste it on trifles.
Be sure to get enough sleep every night. Lack of sleep tends to reduce performance and increase fatigue levels.
When making important decisions, you should listen to your intuition.
Take mistakes as a stepping stone to moving forward.
Think positively.
Important decisions are made easier if there are obligations to other people.

One of the most important characteristics of a person is the presence of fortitude. Without her, he will not be able to complete things. This is our tool that helps us achieve what we want; it can and should be improved, developed and strengthened.

New life schedule: from scratch

Developing and training willpower will not be very easy, as many people who managed to walk this path from the beginning to the very end know this first-hand. First, take care of your upbringing, then achieving what you want will be much easier.

Specific steps

Get knowledge about your own body, because nutritionists say that nothing will work if you are on the wrong or inappropriate diet. In order not to miss, you will have to calculate your calorie balance. That is, learn to absorb no more of them than you can use during the day.
Organize proper split meals, from five times a day. At the same time, you should not overeat, but it is better to make portions very tiny, while increasing the frequency of meals.
Take up the sport that seems easiest and most enjoyable to you. You can start with simple walks in the park, cycling, exercise, and dancing. Gradually the load needs to be increased. It is best to consult with a trainer, he will help you schedule the most appropriate exercises for you based on your health, body weight, training and other indicators.
Don't forget to regularly imagine what you will be like later when you lose weight. You need to make this image quite real, tangible, visualize it, believe that you have almost achieved results, you just have to wait a little longer. You can disconnect from the outside world using various practices, for example, Eastern meditation. They will help make the goal more tangible, closer, and take your mind off the hustle and bustle and everyday problems.
Try to train your willpower by preparing “forbidden” dishes for your family, but don’t try them yourself. It will be difficult at first, but over time you will be surprised at how deeply indifferent you have become to donuts and cakes.

Diary of weight loss

Figuring out how to train willpower to lose weight is not that difficult. You need to do everything according to the rules, without mocking the body, which may become indignant. To simplify the task, keep a weight loss diary. There, first of all, make a list of why you suddenly need to bring your weight back to normal. At first, you need to re-read the list twice a day until each item on it becomes close and dear to you.

Many girls and boys also keep a weight loss video diary. If you decide to post it online and share it with friends, the result will pleasantly surprise you. This will be a great incentive to complete the task, and then maintain the weight for a long time, until a healthy lifestyle finally becomes a habit. A personal blog will not only support you in difficult times, but will also make you find a lot of useful information on the Internet.

Tips for the lazy

It’s not easy to pull yourself together, so it’s better to develop willpower gradually. Psychologists recommend using simple tips to simplify the task.

If you think that in the first three days or week of a diet you will be able to lose all the excess fat and become slimmer, you need to radically reconsider your expectations. Nothing like this will happen even if you completely give up food. But health problems are then guaranteed. You need to sensibly assess the situation and expect only real results. Try to look at yourself from the outside, at your habits, lifestyle. You need to look at everything objectively, realizing how much you have let yourself go. This will make it easier to figure out what efforts will have to be made to restore good shape. Those who want - look for time, those who do not want - excuses and justifications. This old truth also works with weight loss. Forget the words “I can’t”, “no time” or “extremely busy”, these are all “excuses”

Try to find an extra ten minutes for a short walk instead of being stuck in front of the TV. It is important to enlist the support of family, friends, and loved ones. There will be at least a couple of like-minded people surrounded by everyone, and let those who laugh or openly pull back remain in the past.

Competent people say that you should learn to cook quick meals so that you spend as little time as possible at the stove. Choose recipes that can be completed in just a few minutes. Alternatively, you can make preparations for several days in advance. You can freeze them, then cooking will no longer be a burden, and you will want to eat less.

Those who have absolutely no willpower can choose a special diet for the “lazy”, which will help them endure hardships more easily. It works by properly drinking water, which is the basis of life, and therefore is practically safe.

Is it possible to develop willpower?

Lack of will is easy to correct. Anyone, even the most weak-willed person, can prevail over their weaknesses and desires. It is enough to think about what the absence of this quality will lead to.

Firstly, a person is in a state of constant stress. He doesn’t see the point in acting and doesn’t try to change anything. Secondly, a poor emotional state affects the body. Over time, health problems appear. This concerns the work of internal organs and the nervous system. Added to these are problems with alcohol, drugs, and excess weight.

How to develop willpower and self-discipline? To do this, you need to educate yourself every day by doing a series of simple exercises. After just a few lessons, serious problems will seem not so insurmountable, and dreams not so unattainable.

Physiology as the basis of willpower

You can find a lot of advice on the Internet on how to train willpower. This is a topic that interests everyone, since few people can boast that they have more than enough of this goodness. And even if there is such a person, it is unlikely that he will pass the test of willpower, because he does not even have enough self-control to keep his mouth shut.

Many of the recommendations that can be found are really useful and work, but in order to really learn how to manage your willpower, you need to understand how it functions in general and what features of it become the basis for the tips for its development that can be found.

We won't go too deep into physiology. Here are just the basic facts:

Self-control is an instinct that was formed in the process of evolution. He helped us adapt to life in the tribe, when immediate indulgence of one’s desires could lead to fairly quick reprisals, and self-control, on the contrary, helped build long-term relationships, and therefore more likely to prolong one’s lineage. The ancestors very soon realized that it was better to look at someone else’s from afar than to get hit in the head with a stone.

This behavior contributed to the development of a special area in the brain that is responsible for self-control - the prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex uses a lot of energy, so when we are tired, hungry or sleepy, self-control is the first to suffer. At the same time, the brain significantly reduces the supply of energy to the prefrontal cortex, not only when energy is really low, but also when it decreases very quickly, for example, during intense mental or physical activity.

Unlike the reaction to stress, which is expressed in two options - “fight or flight”, the instinct of self-control triggers another process - “stop and think”. If during stress all the energy is supplied to the muscles, then when the instinct of self-control turns on, the maximum amount of energy enters the prefrontal cortex. If stress is a reaction to an external threat, then self-control triggers an internal conflict (I want to do this, but I shouldn’t, or I need to do this, but I’m lazy).

The main physiological indicator of willpower is heart rate variability. The more your heart rate changes relative to its average value, the higher the variability, and therefore the willpower. By measuring variability, you can determine whether a person will withstand the test ahead of him or not. Under stress, variability is greatly reduced, and as a result we lose self-control.

Willpower reserves are limited

It's important to remember this when you're making your next Napoleonic plans and trying to break all your bad habits at once. As the proverb correctly says: the quieter you drive, the further you will go

However, there is good news: these reserves can be increased if you deliberately engage in willpower training.

Necessary conditions for strengthening willpower

Everything that affects our physical and mental health also affects willpower, as it affects heart rate variability and the body’s energy supply, and therefore triggers the “stop and think” response when internal conflict arises.

Therefore, sleep-deprived, hungry, in a state of stress or depression, we can hardly expect to break records in the use of willpower, which means that in order to successfully train willpower, the following conditions must be observed:

Play sports or give yourself at least small but regular physical activity. This will provide the body with energy and increase heart rate variability.
Get enough sleep. Sleep for at least 6-7 hours and, if possible, take short sleep breaks during the day.
Eat more low-glycemic foods: lean protein, nuts and beans, fiber-rich grains and cereals, and fruits and vegetables. This diet will help you maintain blood sugar at the same level for a long time, which means that the prefrontal cortex will not complain about a lack of glucose.
Avoid stress. There are activities that help very well in the fight against stress: training, team sports, reading, music, time spent with friends or family, massage, walking, meditation, yoga, creative activities. Choose what you like.

Summary

Our physiology has a huge impact on our mental state, including our willpower reserves. So take care of your body - get enough sleep, eat healthy foods and make time for physical activity. Study your biorhythms and plan your day according to them. Meditate - just 10-15 minutes of this practice will bring about long-term changes in your willpower. Introduce healthy habits - this will allow you to put many energy-consuming actions on automatic. Pay attention to the things around you - are they distracting you from the task at hand? Use the 2-minute rule to overcome resting inertia and solve problems in parts.

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Key words:1Psychoregulation, 3Psychoregulation

Tips on how to develop willpower.

1) Start small.

You always have to start somewhere in everything. The mistake of beginners is that they want everything at once, but unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, this does not happen. Start developing willpower with light exercises and gradually increase the load.

Don't take quantity, take quality. Gradually apply the following recommendations into your life.

2) Look for your incentive.

To use your willpower to the maximum, you need to find an incentive.

For example, your goal is to get rich, you should imagine and think about how great you will have a time spending the money you earn when you achieve your goal.

Thus, the incentive is your motivation, which will strengthen and strengthen your willpower. You can read more about motivation in the motivation section.

3) Meditate.

For many people in the CIS, meditation may seem like something exotic and a rather boring and uninteresting activity. However, this is not the case. Thanks to meditation, people not only improve their willpower, but also relax and improve their health.

During the first few days of meditation, your mind will encourage you to give up. However, with practice, you can learn to control both your body and your emotions. Your willpower will grow in direct proportion to the amount of meditation practice.

4) Get up early.

Proper sleep patterns are very important for developing willpower. It is with waking up that your day begins. And if you start to be lazy from the very beginning of the day, then it will be much more difficult to force yourself to do something.

But if you do the opposite, go against your body and get up early, then any of your tasks will be much easier to overcome, since you have already turned on the willpower muscle from the very beginning of the day. Also, getting up early is very good for health, which is good news. Find out more about the reasons to get up early in my article: “5 reasons to get up early”

5) Play sports.

Sport is very important in our lives, not only for developing willpower. By playing sports, we improve the body, strengthen health, discipline, and in addition, with any physical activity, the human body produces endorphins - hormones of pleasure and happiness. I have already written an article on this matter and shared the secrets of how to start playing sports. Moreover, you can combine getting up early and playing sports, killing two birds with one stone. I suggest jogging in the morning and I have an excellent article about this, where everything is described in detail - jogging in the morning.

6) Down with bad habits.

Well, here, in principle, everything is clear. Try to drink alcohol less often, or better yet, don’t drink at all. If you smoke, then it’s time to start eradicating this bad habit. For this, I also have an article prepared, in which I shared my own experience, because once upon a time I also smoked for quite a few years, not a little, I recommend that you read it - The best way to quit smoking. Well, harder drugs are out of the question.

7) Plan your life.

It's time to remove house music from your life

It is very important to plan your day, month, year. Start setting goals and goals for yourself

Plan your day in advance, this way it will be much easier for you to overcome laziness. Make it a habit to accomplish all your goals. And that’s why there’s also an article for you on how to make a task list.

Why can't you rely on just one motivation?

Today you can find a lot of psychological literature that provides advice and recommendations on how to increase your motivation. However, in practice, such advice is of little use; they do not answer the question of where to get willpower. Motivation is not a personal characteristic of a person. This is, first of all, the pleasure received from quality work done or pilot results.

So what happens? You want to change your life for the better, you decide to do exercises every day, you understand that it is useful, you become motivated.

You do exercises every morning, learn new exercises with interest, and discuss them with your friends. Your motivation is growing.

After a couple of days, the enthusiasm burns out. Exercises that were new just recently become boring, and you gradually switch to other things. Motivation fades. As a result, you stop doing daily exercise altogether. You understand that this is useful and necessary for the benefit of your health.

For any undertaking, inspiration alone is not enough. Intrinsic motivation is influenced by many factors. If you are hungry or tired, your motivation will be reduced accordingly. Developing willpower is not an easy task. But if you are rested and full of energy, your motivation increases.