Quite often people wonder what it is - the inner core of a person, what is his strength, power, and not so physical as moral, spiritual, psychological. According to psychology experts, the inner core is a metaphor that describes the strength of a person, capable of smart, wise actions. Knowing how to defend their rights, free from prejudices, other people's opinions, independent of someone else's will and desires.
Being around such a person is comfortable, easy and safe. It’s also very interesting to be with him, he captivates not only with his essence, but also with his knowledge, erudition, and ability to make a joke at the right moment. Or take a serious look if necessary, take your will “into your fist” and put everything in its place. Such people are able to survive serious life trials. And thanks to their inner core, they can navigate through failures and continue to fulfill their obligations. And moreover, do not stop in spiritual, physical and moral development.
Quite often, looking at such people, outsiders say “a strong, wise man, he has a solid backbone.” That is, a solid inside that allows you to withstand life’s ups and downs. And continue to remain an integral, decent person. And at the same time, admiring loudly or quietly the strength of such an individual, the majority dreams of becoming the same. But is this possible? Can a person educate and develop an inner core? Or is moral and spiritual strength given only with mother’s milk, passed on by inheritance? What are the secrets of self-confidence? And how to develop leadership qualities in yourself?
A woman's inner core
A lady who has developed a strong feeling does not go with the flow, but lives a life that she plans for herself.
- She perfectly manages her emotions, behavior, and controls her intentions perfectly. Usually, when communicating with such a woman, her “I” is immediately clearly visible and the integrity of her personality is observed.
- She does not rush from corner to corner in any situation and understands that there is a situation, a real one, now! And you need to fully comply with the prevailing circumstances, whatever they may be.
- She decides for herself which issues should be resolved first and what should be postponed until later. At the same time, the woman has excellent orientation, which is really more important.
- In companies, among friends, it is she who enjoys the greatest respect and leads the group. Even if not out loud, her friends, including envious ones, still think of her as a strong, powerful person who deserves multiple respect.
- A strong lady chooses her companion based on priorities and principles. It is important for her to have someone nearby who she can rely on, who has an honest, open and decent character.
- A woman with an inner core is very similar in character to the same man. This is what allows her to remain strong and firm even in the most critical situations. Due to the “masculine principle”, she shows courage in circumstances that for another lady represent a collapse, a fiasco, the destruction of everything. And no matter what happens, her strength allows her to voice any moments firmly, firmly and without stuttering.
- And even if she connected her life with the best and most beloved person, only herself will lead her destiny. But at the same time, she will surround her chosen one with care, love and affection, who will have no choice but to meet the high standard of his beloved.
Quite often, such women devote their activities to social issues: helping children, the sick, the elderly, and heading foundations. But, sadly, personal happiness is put “to the side.” By their nature, ordinary women cannot show fortitude in acute situations. But strong ladies can visit hospices and clinics, participate in marathons, keeping themselves “in control” and not giving free rein to their emotions.
Psychologists say that a woman with an inner core, possessing a “masculine principle,” is not happy about such a “gift.” Because of her character, she has to step over her feminine side and more and more often the traits of a masculine character appear. Especially if she does not stop social activities and does not find a full-fledged family.
Yes, she has inner strength, but it is unnatural. By nature, a woman should be soft, gentle, fragile and, remarkably, a little defenseless. The functions of a protector should be performed by a man, this is his purpose. The absolute norm for a woman is to have tenderness and gentleness of character. She should glow with happiness, shine with love and thereby give hope for a wonderful future to her family, dear ones and friends.
This is the very inner core that every representative of the fair sex should have. And in difficult times, you need to concentrate and pull yourself together, otherwise it will simply be impossible to resolve issues normally. The described type of character will allow you to be free from problems and at the same time achieve your plans.
Methods
Experience
What gives us strength and confidence is the understanding that we have managed to cope with something successfully. It is impossible to live life without making mistakes. There are no ideal people. Everyone knows about this, but for some reason, with every misdemeanor, many feel guilt and disappointment that they failed to live up to the expectations of both themselves and those around them.
But the important thing is the ability to move on no matter what. Overcome fear and try to correct your mistakes. Energy and a call to action can be obtained through experience. No matter how unsuccessful a person considers himself, it simply cannot be that there are no cases in his life history where he was able to overcome the obstacles that arose.
Therefore, try to remember situations in which you were not at a loss. And even if they were confused, they were able to pull themselves together and find ways to solve the problem.
Write down all your achievements in a notebook. Let them be insignificant, the main thing is that they exist. If you don’t devalue yourself and compare with other people, but learn to accept the qualities and skills that you possess, you will be able to believe in yourself. This means finding the inner core.
And no matter how strange it may sound, the more troubles and sorrows a person has befallen, the more strength he has to withstand new blows of fate. Try to look at troubles differently, you cannot change the past, but your attitude towards it is quite possible.
Faith and fidelity
This refers to faith in the correctness of one's beliefs. Iron character is usually found in those people who know exactly what they want and how they should live and act. They will defend ideas to the last, even if the whole world turns out to be against them.
Think and make a list of values that not only fill you, but also “warm your soul.” What is so important to you that you will be ready to defend to the last?
For example, for some it may be family. It is her well-being that can motivate her to achieve success at work and withstand stress and tension. Learn to find a common language with colleagues, superiors, develop, etc.
A person who has set priorities and knows exactly what he wants is unlikely to allow himself inaction, destructive hobbies that lead to various forms of addiction, and so on.
Negative reset
No matter how strong you are, if you are used to accumulating tension, one day stress can take over. It is important to recover and rest; the body’s resources are not bottomless, they must be constantly replenished.
But no amount of rest will help if there is always tension inside you. Even in a dream, it will subconsciously interfere, for example, causing nightmares.
Learn to show your feelings and express them. This is especially true for anger, resentment, and pain. It happens that it is not possible to react to a situation the way you want. Let's say you tell your boss about how he annoyed you. But you shouldn’t keep aggression inside yourself either.
There are many methods that help you become aware of your feelings and relieve tension. They will not harm you, but on the contrary, will help maintain peace of mind and health.
In the end, go in for sports, come up with a hobby, but be sure to be calm and relaxed by the evening, before going to bed. To wake up in the morning cheerful and rested.
Meaning of life
It’s quite difficult to be confident in yourself if you don’t know your place and purpose on this earth. Unfortunately, there are moments when a person simply loses faith in something good, he ceases to understand what he wants to do and what to strive for.
If he loses the meaning of life, he becomes vulnerable to any adversity. Even those who weren’t hurt at all before.
Think about it, do you know what your purpose is? Can you answer the question, what is your meaning in life? What motivates you to get up in the morning and sometimes do something you don’t like? Why do you endure something, resign yourself?
The inner core is like a spine on which the entire body rests. It’s the same with the meaning of life. You can find out how to find it if temporary difficulties arise and you are unable to answer the questions posed by clicking here.
Fight against attitudes
Each of us has attitudes and beliefs that interfere and limit, preventing us from experiencing the harmony and fulfillment of life. They often originate from childhood, when, for example, parents, trying to protect the child, instilled in him some of their ideas.
Or they simply threw around phrases that affected their character. For example, those who have often heard: “You are still small, when you grow up, then you will make decisions or do something,” even in adulthood may feel unsure of their abilities and rely only on other people’s opinions. There can be many such examples.
Write down the phrases that you have heard most often. Think about how they occur in a given period of time. For every negative statement, try to come up with an answer that is supportive and reflects reality.
The inner core of a man
This type of man is the master of his destiny, who will never, under any circumstances, obey someone else’s orders, or be a slave to someone’s desires. Every man, unlike women, is obliged to have the inner strength that allows him to endure any events with firmness. He must be an authority not only for friends, but also for his wife and children.
Thanks to this, he can withstand not only steadfastly, but also effectively all difficulties, make consistent decisions on time, be free and not depend on the opinions of outsiders.
A person who has an important and strong character trait is always the center of attention of women. Only behind it you can feel like behind a stone wall and not worry about the future. After all, a woman learned to choose a spouse back in primitive times. She has a completely built logical chain in her subconscious - a strong, decent man is an excellent father for future children.
She also wants them to gain the strong character of their father and grow up in care and full protection. These and other factors are guidelines for the fairer sex when choosing a good spouse. And as we know, there are, unfortunately, not enough strong men with an inner core for everyone. So you have to be content with what you have.
Rudiments
Already in the children's actions of boys one can discern the beginnings of a masculine core. Although at this age it is not always easy to be a man. A classmate and a classmate are walking home from school along the same path. The boy carries two briefcases every day - his and his neighbor's. But a misfortune happens: one of the boy’s hands ends up in a plaster cast. However, on the way home he again has two briefcases, but not in both hands, as always, but in one. The girl's attempt to carry her briefcase herself failed. So, the male core is clearly visible in the relationships between not yet fully formed personalities.
It doesn't matter if they separate later in life. Perhaps they will remain neighbors or link their lives into one. The main thing is that the boy’s masculine core once became an example for the girl in childhood. And in the future she will no longer be able to be near her partner without a rod. There is hope that she will be lucky on her first try. And perhaps she will have to choose for a long time, get burned, be disappointed, and be unhappy. Because not all men are capable of not only wearing trousers, but also having a masculine inner core. And we are not just talking about a metaphor denoting the structure of the psyche of a strong person. The conversation is about the fact that a person in the modern world, especially a man, has no right to be weak in extreme situations.
How to find your inner core
Psychologists say that age does not matter (the exception is people over 55 years old), anyone can develop their inner strengths, the main thing is to want it. If you want to be a more active, witty, erudite, restrained, logical person, who has his own opinion on everything, who does not give in to his principles - be him. To do this, you need to carefully analyze your behavior, thoughts and find a path to the character of a true man. And if something does not correspond to the characteristics described below of an integral person with a core, you need to work on yourself, change something, and correct something.
First of all, you need to understand what the inner core is. This is a complex, a system of principles, guidelines, consistency of thoughts and actions. If at least something in this chain is missing, there will be no integrity. A holistic personality always thinks about the main thing, and leaves secondary issues for later, but nothing falls out of his field of vision. It is for this reason that he enjoys the respect and love of others. It is such persons who have high authority and an excellent reputation in normal society. The reason is that you can always rely on him and receive material or moral support.
As for women who have the important quality we are describing, these are special persons. Remember if there is a friend in your company who never participates in anyone’s gossip. She is always reserved, careful, does not like to get into arguments or conflicts, she will give useful advice, but she will not go into her pocket for a word without asking.
Men with an inner core are psychologically stable, intelligent and decent people who are not indifferent to other people’s pain and problems. In short, men and women with strong guts are similar.
Both sides represent a system (roughly speaking) in which there are no flaws and fortitude prevails. No, we are not saying that they do not have flaws, we are all human and we all have flaws. There are no ideal people in the world. But being close to such people, we immediately feel support, interest, strength and are happy to spend time with this person in the future.
To clearly understand how a person’s inner core manifests itself, we present to your attention a difficult but very interesting story from real life.
“It all happened during World War II. The main character is Martin, a 17-year-old guy from a Jewish family living in Poland. In September 1939, German troops occupied the country. And as we know, the Nazis were especially cruel to Jews.
Martin lived with his mother and younger sister. The Germans forced all persons of Jewish nationality to move into the ghetto, from there they were taken to some kind of camps (many did not understand where they were being taken). But Martin was a very smart guy and understood that they would not return from the ghetto alive. He found an apartment with double exits and closed one of them with a closet. He hid his mother and sister there, and in the evenings he went out and looked for food. So, he began to help at night in a cafe and for this he received a portion of soup, porridge and a piece of bread.
They lasted for several months. But someone betrayed our hero and his relatives, the Germans took them to the ghetto, where Martin also showed his savvy and courage. But it didn't last long. They were transported to a concentration camp and divided into women's and men's sections. Martin and other young, strong guys were brought in as porters. They initially did not understand why corpses were constantly being taken out of this building, because no shots or explosions were heard. Only later did they tell him that there were gas chambers there and everyone who went there died.
And once again, he was again carrying someone on a stretcher and a small hand fell out. Only his sister had a characteristic mole. The blood froze in his veins, and he ran, carrying a stretcher, and everything faded before his eyes. Both his mother and his younger sister died. There was nowhere to go - we had to survive.
By chance, he still remained alive and after the end of the war he moved to the United States. There I met a nice girl and had two children. So 15 years passed. Martin was a successful writer who lived with his family in a large house near a dense forest. This year was especially hot, the sun was so hot that it was impossible to stay in the open for more than 5 minutes.
The radio reported that a large area of forest had caught fire. Martin decided to send his family away from the fire, while he stayed with other rescuers to extinguish the forest. The wife and two children never made it to safety. The car stalled and they came under a barrage of powerful fire. Everyone died.
Our hero again experienced grief, which is simply impossible to resist. But he found strength within himself. He had such a colossal inner core, which seemed to be created from the hardest diamond, and survived the loss. Moreover, a few years later, he started a family again. He became the father of several lovely children and continued to write amazing novels."
How do you like the story? Is it really possible to worry about a runny nose or scuffed shoes after what’s been said, and what’s real? Only strong people are able to turn a blind eye to nonsense, but focus on the important moments in life and endure them steadfastly.
Main components
Can say no
Sometimes a person, afraid of losing the favor of others, always agrees to fulfill their requests and instructions. This causes the opposite effect; it is then not appreciated or respected, considering it simply convenient.
But a person with an inner core can fight back against manipulators and protect their boundaries. She knows how to refuse, despite the format of the relationship and intimacy.
If she says “no”, it means that for some reason she is not able to fulfill the request, or even does not want to. And not that it is cruel, insensitive or does not love the one who asks. In the same way, he accepts refusals from others. Without being offended or angry.
If you feel guilty in such cases, or worse, always, like Chip and Dale, rush to the rescue despite reluctance, check out this article.
Has his own opinion
Even if it differs from the majority opinion. He is not afraid to express himself and show up as who he is.
Manages time
He plans, sets priorities, and, if necessary, delegates responsibilities. Time works for him, not against him. It's difficult to keep up with things when you have no idea what to do and when. Especially if you are distracted by watching TV, news on social networks, etc.
Successful time management eliminates anxiety and allows you to maintain strong nerves.
Defends borders
He does not allow anyone to treat him badly, does not tolerate humiliation and does not forgive violence. This applies to both men and women.
Solve problems as they arise
Does not give in to procrastination. If it is necessary to complete a task, do not put it off until later, hoping that everything will somehow work out on its own. No, he immediately develops an action plan and begins to implement it.
Able to maintain a balance between sensitivity and rationalization
In difficult situations, he does not “lose his head”, but tries to rationally approach the solution to the problem. As it were, he maintains “sobriety of mind.” But at the same time it does not lose sensitivity. He listens to his feelings, desires and thoughts. Notices changes in well-being, both physical and emotional.
Has adequate self-esteem
That is, he neither diminishes his own personality nor “inflates” it. Such a person understands what resources and strengths he has. Among other things, he knows what to pay attention to and what features definitely do not help you win, but, on the contrary, hinder you.
Responsibility
Each person is responsible for his own life and its quality. Therefore, those who have a strong character simply understand that desires cannot be fulfilled just like that, that efforts must be made to realize what is planned.
They do not expect someone else to solve their problems; they themselves take active action, even if they don’t want to.
Follows interest
When something new awaits us, interest, excitement, and anxiety always arise. And this is normal, because we will have to face something that has not yet been experienced. We don't understand how this will work out for us, so we're worried. Even if the situation is expected and pleasant.
So, there are individuals who get scared and stop themselves, not allowing themselves to follow interest. And there are those who, despite fear, continue to move.
After all, how can you find your inner core while constantly slowing down your impulses? Without trying something new, without taking risks, it is impossible to gain new experience.
So, arm yourself with the recommendations from this article and declare battle on your fears.
Doesn't compare himself to others
The key to success is focusing on yourself in the past, and not on others. It’s very good if you have a role model, a person you want to emulate. But it is important to understand that he has a completely different character, personality and life history.
Therefore, a person with an inner core considers as victories those moments when she managed to overcome her own limitations and move forward in development.
How to develop an inner core in a person
Why is this necessary – one of the readers will ask. I live normally, nothing bothers me. Well, yes, I’m not as strong as my comrade, but that doesn’t make me any worse. We hasten to disappoint you, strong people live much better. They always have light at the end of the tunnel. But the weak, every now and then, live with fears, apprehensions, and feel their defenselessness. Therefore, it is important to develop inner strength, and what needs to be done for this, how to strengthen the spirit? First of all, develop internal support, which is no less important than the spine, heart, etc. Thanks to its strength, we will be able to firmly experience any situation.
Be yourself. Don't be afraid that others will judge you, that someone will think you are stupid or unlucky. The main thing is that you live up to your own assessments and are satisfied with yourself. So, you will take responsibility for your own life, and the village will follow the path that you have determined for yourself.
Choose the most acceptable system of worldview and values for yourself and strictly adhere to these norms. Literally 3 weeks will pass and if you strictly follow the chosen guidelines, you will change beyond recognition.
Do not ignore someone else's point of view, but at the same time, express your position. And when choosing a decision or verdict, weigh the pros and cons of everything you have heard, read and your conclusions.
It is impossible to form an inner core if you do not follow moral guidelines. Here you need to choose - follow human instincts, passions or other main qualities - decency, honesty, self-esteem, the ability to empathize and help. Some people believe that all this can only be acquired by “inheritance”, absorbed with mother’s milk. But that's not true! Yes, there are innate moral characteristics. But if a person engages in self-education, and at any age (not counting the elderly), then he will be able to overcome his shortcomings:
- greed;
- greed;
- cunning;
- black mouth;
- intrigue;
- cruelty, etc.
Don't believe me? Remember the stories about the miraculous reincarnation of people thanks to religion.
We know that to combat drug addiction, alcoholism and other addictions, specialists take tough methods. They tie them to batteries, put them on a chain, inject them with antidepressants, etc. But the Orthodox Church treats the unfortunate differently. They offer freedom of choice and the only thing they ask for is prayer.
It turns out that every word of Orthodox prayers contains great power. Thanks to which people not only get rid of bad habits, but also change their character. Subsequently, the healed people themselves take steps to help other sufferers.
So, you can change yourself - you just have to want it!
Build a temple within yourself and don’t let troubles and troubles frustrate your goals. After all, it is impossible to create an inner core without an inner attitude. You need to convince yourself that there are no hopeless, insurmountable circumstances in life.
A person with an inner core cannot be such if he does not have spiritual and moral values. This is the very strong castle that will protect you from the “attacks” of temptations, difficult situations and events. During their attack, everything will be wiped off the face of the Earth, but your inner citadel will remain safe and sound. Thanks to its safety, you can quickly recover. And move on through life with your head held high with your companions - Faith, Hope and Love!
There are internal forces, a core, which means there must be a meaning to existence. Moreover, he is crystal clear, honest, decent, responsible, merciful and open. Thus, while moving towards his specific and cherished goal, a morally and spiritually powerful person will not stray from the straight path. And his deeds will never diverge from his thoughts and desires.
To develop an inner core, you need to immediately start getting rid of everything harmful and unnecessary. If you smoke, quit the cigarette immediately and never return to it. There is no need to run to pharmacies and look for special patches, sprays and tablets. It is important to want and take the will “into your fist” and you will easily forget about the addiction. The same applies to other bad habits - alcohol, gambling, etc. You also need to train your willpower every morning. Get up early and do some healthy exercise or other active activities for your health.
The inner core, paradoxical as it may sound, should be soft and flexible. A person who is strong inside and pleasant, merciful, able to empathize and sympathize externally is a true person for whom there is no misfortune of others. Also, this trait allows you to see your mistakes, work on them, engage in healthy self-criticism and respect the opinions of outsiders.
Video on how to become better and gain strength of spirit: