A person initially has several systems, and through them he exercises control over his actions, which allows him to correctly assess his own strengths and take on solving only those problems that he can cope with. Self-esteem and the level of a person’s aspirations refer precisely to such mechanisms, thanks to which an individual is able to evaluate the correctness of the choice of goal and understand whether he can cope with this task. The level of aspiration also indicates the persistence with which a person will pursue his goal.
What is self-esteem and the level of personal aspirations
The level of aspiration is a kind of height to which an individual strives in life. This is career advancement, achieving a certain social status or well-being, or whatever a person denotes as the main thing for himself. Success, in this case, is considered to be the achievement of one of the set “ideal” goals. The level of a person’s aspirations and self-esteem are directly related and completely dependent on each other. By lowering your expectations, you can increase your self-esteem and vice versa.
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The higher the demands a person places on himself, the lower his self-esteem will ultimately be if he fails to achieve his goals quickly enough. It can also increase with high performance of actions.
Self-esteem can be overestimated, adequate and low. With high self-esteem, a person acquires special behavioral traits, such as :
- ignoring failures for the sake of maintaining psychological comfort;
- interpreting weaknesses as strengths;
- acquiring a superiority complex;
- loss of feedback from others;
- distrustful attitude towards criticism;
- setting impossible goals;
- independent behavior is emphasized.
With low self-esteem, the following changes in character are possible::
- uncertainty and indecision, excessive caution;
- acquisition of an inferiority complex;
- exaggeration of the role of troubles in life;
- isolation;
- boringness, up to conflicts in the family and at work;
- an urgent need for support from others and loved ones;
- a very low level of aspirations, expressed in setting obviously lower goals than a person is capable of achieving.
A person's self-esteem depends on self-esteem. Without self-love, a person is not able to achieve his goals. A self-respecting person is balanced, non-aggressive and independent, and systematically builds his own special line of behavior.
Self-esteem, level of aspirations and frustration
Character is manifested not only by the attitude towards other people, but also towards oneself. Each of us, intentionally or without realizing it, often compares ourselves with others and ultimately develops a fairly stable opinion about our intelligence, appearance, health, position in society, i.e., forms a “set of self-esteem” on which our modesty depends. we are either arrogant, demanding of ourselves or complacent, shy or arrogant.
Most people tend to rate themselves slightly above average. This allows us to conclude that a person has a characteristic need for fairly high self-esteem, that is, everyone wants to respect themselves. In people suffering from neuroses, self-esteem is often overestimated or underestimated, and sometimes even extreme (the kindest, the most shy, the most honest). People with hysterical manifestations express the following judgments: “I am much smarter, prettier, kinder than most people, but I am the most unhappy and the sickest.”
Inflated self-esteem contributes to touchiness, intolerance to the slightest remarks (however, there is another extreme: from the height of one’s “I” one does not take even serious criticism to heart). A person with inadequately high self-esteem is potentially conflicted in situations when it comes to rewards and incentives for work. The discrepancy between the expected and real rewards naturally results in resentment and envy, which accumulate and, finally, break through with a sharp accusation against someone. Excessively low self-esteem of a person entails his excessive dependence on others, lack of independence and even ingratiation, timidity, isolation, even a distorted perception of others are manifested, an “inferiority complex” is formed, the behavior of a “loser”.
The formation of self-esteem and self-esteem is influenced by many factors that already operate in early childhood - the attitude of parents, position among peers, the attitude of teachers. By comparing the opinions of the people around him, a person forms self-esteem, and it is curious that a person first learns to evaluate others, and then to evaluate himself. And only by the age of 14-15 does a teenager master the skills of introspection, introspection and reflection, and analyze what has been achieved. his own results and thereby evaluates himself (“If I didn’t give up in a difficult situation, that means I’m not a coward,” “If I was able to master a difficult task, that means I’m capable,” etc.). A person’s self-esteem can be adequate (a person evaluates himself correctly, objectively), or inadequately inflated or inadequately underestimated. And this, in turn, will influence the level of a person’s aspirations, which characterizes the degree of difficulty of the goals that a person strives for and the achievement of which seems attractive and possible to a person.
The level of aspiration is the level of difficulty of a task that a person undertakes to achieve, knowing the level of his previous performance. The level of aspiration is influenced by the dynamics of failures and successes along the path of life, the dynamics of success and failure in specific activities. The level of aspiration can be adequate (a person chooses goals that he can actually achieve, which correspond to his abilities, skills, and capabilities) or inadequately inflated or underestimated. The more adequate the self-esteem, the more adequate the level of aspirations.
A low level of aspirations, when a person chooses too simple, easy goals (although he could achieve much higher ones) is possible with low self-esteem (a person does not believe in himself, has a low assessment of his abilities and capabilities, feels “inferior”), but is also possible and with high self-esteem (when a person knows that he is smart, capable, but chooses simpler goals, so as not to “overwork”, “keep his head down,” showing a kind of “social cunning”). An inflated level of aspirations, when a person sets too complex, unrealistic goals for himself, can objectively lead to frequent failures, disappointment, and frustration.
Self-respect is a generalized attitude of an individual towards himself, directly proportional to the amount of success achieved and inversely proportional to the level of aspirations (self-respect = success/aspiration), i.e. the higher the aspiration, the greater a person’s achievements must be so that he can respect himself.
If a person makes unrealistic claims, he often encounters insurmountable obstacles on the way to achieving his goal, suffers failures, and experiences frustration.
Frustration is a specific emotional state of a person that arises when insurmountable obstacles appear on the way to achieving the desired goal. Frustration manifests itself as aggression, anger, which can be directed at others (“aggressive frustration”), or at oneself, blaming oneself for failures (regressive frustration). Frequently recurring states of frustration can consolidate certain characteristic traits in a person’s personality: aggressiveness, envy, anger - in some; lethargy, lack of self-confidence, “inferiority complex”, indifference, lack of initiative - in others. If a person does not get out of a frustrated state for a long time, then neurosis is formed - a disease that arises as a result of a conflict between a person and the environment due to clashes between a person’s desires and a reality that does not satisfy them.
QUESTION 81
Neurosis. Types of neuroses
Cheurosis is an acquired functional disease of the nervous system, in which a “disruption” of brain activity occurs without any signs of its anatomical damage. Neurosis is a consequence of failures, frustrations and interpersonal clashes and at the same time often serves as their cause. So a vicious circle results: conflicts lead to neuroticism, and this, in turn, provokes new conflicts. Short-term neurotic states that go away on their own over time, without treatment, are observed at one time or another in almost any person’s life. More profound disorders requiring medical intervention are observed in approximately 30% of the population, and this figure is growing rapidly in all developed countries.
The causes of neuroses lie in a wide variety of psycho-traumatic situations, in acute or chronic emotional stress. And depending on the predisposing background, the disease can manifest itself with various symptoms.
Neuroses are divided into the following types: neurasthenia, hysterical neurosis, obsessive-compulsive neurosis (social-compulsive neurosis), hypochondriacal neurosis, phobic (fear neurosis), depressive. Each of them occurs in people with a certain type of higher nervous activity, with specific mistakes in their upbringing and typical unfavorable life situations. Thus, people of the “artistic type”, who perceive reality very emotionally, are more prone to hysteria; “mental type” - to obsessive-compulsive neurosis, and the middle between them (the majority of them) - to neurasthenia.
Neurasthenia (translated from Latin as “nervous weakness”) is the most common penalty for the inability to overcome communication barriers, and it itself creates new difficulties in interpersonal relationships. Patients with neurasthenia are bothered by irritability over the most insignificant reasons. It is difficult for them to concentrate their attention, they quickly get tired, they develop headaches, heart pain, stomach functions are disrupted, insomnia appears, sexual function is upset, and the severity of sexual sensations decreases.
Hysteria - observed more often in women. They sometimes imagine themselves as seriously ill, unhappy, “incomprehensible natures” and become deeply accustomed to the image they have created. Sometimes an unpleasant, minor family quarrel or minor work conflict is enough for the patient to start crying bitterly, cursing everything and everyone, and threatening to commit suicide. A hysterical reaction usually begins when the patient needs to achieve something from others or, conversely, to get rid of their allegedly unfair or simply unwanted demands. These reactions can manifest themselves as uncontrollable tears, fainting, complaints of dizziness and nausea, vomiting, convulsive curling of the fingers, and in general - symptoms of almost any disease known to a given person; imaginary paralysis, deafness, and loss of voice may occur. But with all this, a hysterical attack cannot be considered a simulation; it most often occurs against a person’s desire and causes him to suffer greatly physically and mentally. Spoiledness, capriciousness, excessively high self-esteem and inflated claims, rejection of even the weakest criticism addressed to oneself - such features of a person’s character provoke the development of hysteria.
-compulsive neurosis (psychasthenia) - persistent anxious thoughts and fears appear, for example, of “catching a disease,” losing a loved one, blushing during a conversation, being left alone in a room, etc. At the same time, the person well understands the illogicality of his fears, but cannot get rid of them.
Phobic neurosis
manifests itself as strong, inexplicable and uncontrollable fears, up to panic horror of some specific objects or situations (fear of dogs or spiders, phobia of closed or open spaces, fear of riding in public transport, etc.).
Hypochondriacal neurosis manifests itself as a person’s
when a person finds any illness in himself and experiences constant, various painful sensations in the body, although doctors do not find any objective disorders.
Depressive
neurosis manifests itself as excessive depression, depression of a person’s mood and vitality, loss of interests, and reluctance to live.
As already noted, the prerequisites for the emergence of neuroses can be laid in childhood, as a result of improper upbringing, the presence of mental trauma and painful experiences in the child, as well as due to disrupted or complicated interpersonal relationships. The famous psychologist Horney emphasized that it is interpersonal relationships in combination with socio-cultural living conditions that can significantly influence the characteristics of the course of neuroses (this direction is called the “sociocultural concept of personality”).
Horney argued that the decisive factor in child development is the social relationship between the child and parents, and that unique styles of interpersonal relationships underlie personality disorders.
If parents show true love and warmth towards their child, their need for security will be satisfied and a healthy personality will most likely develop.
If many moments in the behavior of parents traumatize the child’s need for security (unstable, extravagant behavior, ridicule, failure to fulfill promises, excessive guardianship, showing clear preference for the child’s brothers and sisters), then pathological development of the personality is very likely. The main result of such mistreatment of a child by parents is the development of basal hostility in him.
In this case, the child is dependent on the parents and experiences feelings of resentment and indignation towards them.
As a result, the behavior of a child who does not feel safe in the parental family is guided by feelings of helplessness, fear, love and guilt, which serve as psychological defense, the purpose of which is to suppress hostile feelings towards parents in order to survive. These repressed feelings of hostility manifest themselves involuntarily in all the child's relationships with other people, both in the present and in the future. Thus, the child manifests basal anxiety, a feeling of loneliness and helplessness in the face of a potentially dangerous world. The cause of neurotic behavior will be a broken relationship between the child and parents.
From Hornsch's point of view, pronounced basal anxiety in a child leads to the formation of neurosis in an adult. Neurotic needs are combined into three main strategies of interpersonal behavior: orientation “from people”, “against people”, “towards people”. In a neurotic personality, one of them usually predominates. Accordingly, personality types are distinguished: 1 - the compliant type is people-oriented, shows dependence, indecisiveness, helplessness, thinks: “if I give in, they won’t touch me”; 2) the isolated type is oriented away from people, thinks: “If I distance myself, everything will be fine with me,” says: “I don’t care,” without being carried away by anything or anyone; 3) the hostile type is oriented against people, he is characterized by dominance, hostility, exploitation, he thinks: “I have power, no one will touch me,” he should fight against everyone and evaluate any situation from the position of: “What will I get from this?” ?. The hostile type is capable of acting tactfully and friendly, but his behavior is always aimed at gaining control and power over others, at satisfying personal desires and ambitions.
All these strategies are in a state of conflict with each other in both a healthy and a neurotic person, but in healthy people this conflict does not carry such a strong emotional charge as in patients with neuroses. A healthy person is characterized by great flexibility, he is able to change strategies according to circumstances, while a neurotic person uses only one of three strategies, regardless of whether it is suitable in a given case or not.
question 82
Autotraining
One of the most powerful means of restoring emotional balance is auto-training - a special technique of self-hypnosis against the background of maximum muscle relaxation. The term was proposed and the method of auto-training (AT) was developed in detail by the German psychiatrist professor Schultz (1884-1970). AT helps to quickly relieve excessive neuromuscular tension, anxiety, manifestations of neuroses and vegetative-vascular dystonia, headaches, lethargy, irritability, discomfort, allows you to manage your mood, mobilize all mental and physical strength to achieve your goal, helps you fall asleep at any time days for short-term effective rest, reduce the need for night sleep.
Almost any person can master AT, but it is easier for people who are able to evoke vivid, vivid images in their minds. Mastering the basics of AT requires systematic training for 2-4 months. Therefore, those who expect a miracle in the next 1-2 weeks will be disappointed. During the development period, it is recommended to practice three times a day: 10 minutes in the morning (lying down as soon as you wake up), 5 minutes in the afternoon (for example, during a lunch break) and 10 minutes before bed, in bed.
Hundreds of thousands of people have tested Schultz’s classic method.
Schultz suggests consistently mastering the formulas of self-hypnosis: “the right hand is heavy,” “the heart beats calmly and evenly,” “the right hand is warm,” “breathing is calm and even,” “the forehead is pleasantly cool.” In order for the suggested sensation to be realized, all attention must be concentrated on the corresponding part of the body. It is very important that formulas are not spoken meaninglessly, automatically, or as a rude command to the body. We must try to vividly, figuratively imagine what should be felt: here the hand fills with heaviness, which is concentrated in the hand and expands it, here it feels the breath of a warm stream of air, the warmth is intensifying... the lungs with pleasure inhale the clean fragrant air... Formulas should be pronounced in exhale. Each lesson should end with the pronouncement of a formula that removes the inspired heaviness: “Tighten your arms. Bend. Breathe deeply. Open eyes. Relax your hands." When AT is performed before bedtime, these phrases are not said.
After the basic formulas have been mastered, that is, what is being suggested is felt without much effort, proceed to the formulas of intention. These formulas are varied and should be relevant, brief, affirmative, for example, “my head is fresh, clear, the pain leaves it”, “I can handle this matter”, “I am a self-possessed, confident person”, “I rested well”, “ I am recharged with energy,” “I am falling asleep,” etc. From the very beginning of training, one form of intention is used: “I am completely calm.” It is pronounced before each of the five basic formulas.
Having mastered AT, you should maintain the acquired skills, remembering that each lesson, even without a formula of intention, is a short-term, but very effective rest, relieving fatigue and nervous tension. During the day, at the right moment, you can easily bring yourself into a state of autogenic 10-15-minute half-sleep-half-wakefulness, usually this is done in the “coachman” position: sitting, lower your head to your chest, legs slightly apart and bent at an obtuse angle, hands on your hips, close your eyes. You can also use the following poses: sitting at a table, rest your head on your hands and lower it onto your forearms. The best pose is one that is accessible and familiar. People who are proficient in AT can, without taking a special position and without forcing themselves to fall into a half-asleep state, implement suggestion formulas and effectively manage their mental state, mood, and behavior.
QUESTION 83
What can a low level of aspirations or constant failures lead to?
The human psyche is designed in such a way that it needs systematic development to function fully. It is necessary to move forward and achieve your goals. This is exactly what modern society demands from a person. You must always be successful, rise up.
It is worth noting that when a person fails, the damage to his self-esteem is always much greater than with comparable success. And the general mood and emotions depend on the self-esteem and level of aspirations of the individual. With frequent failures, frustration may occur. It can be expressed in threatening behavior towards oneself or others around them.
Falling into frustration often causes a change in character and contributes to manifestations of lethargy, lack of initiative and an inferiority complex. If this condition lasts for a long time, it can cause neurosis, as well as various psychological problems.
In fact, the level of aspiration depends on self-esteem very indirectly. However, they are still interconnected. Thus, with a constant decrease in self-esteem, the level of aspirations may unexpectedly increase. As a rule, this occurs during the transition from high self-esteem to adequate self-esteem. In this case, the person most likely wants to make up for his failures, or reduce disappointment from possible losses.
