Self-esteem: what it is, types and levels of self-esteem

What is the difference between female self-esteem and male self-esteem?

Women's self-esteem is significantly different from men's. A woman is constantly suppressed by society, imposing many standards that must either be met or tolerated by others.

A man forms his self-esteem thanks to his parents. For example, attention from the opposite sex, sports victories, and promotions on the career ladder have a positive impact on self-esteem. A woman can experience all of the above in her life, but her self-esteem will be much lower than that of a man.

Let's figure out what 5 factors influence women's self-esteem.

We all come from childhood

Self-esteem is formed in most people from childhood; for many, this formation occurs during adolescence.

Each parent instills certain attitudes in their child; they differ significantly by gender. If we look at an ordinary primary school class, we can notice striking differences between students who, at the time of their first year of study, have not yet chosen a social affiliation; it is “dictated” by their parents.

Some people get beautiful hairstyles, knit bows, and buy pink patent leather shoes. Other girls are dressed much more modestly, focusing on their studies and minimizing distractions. At an older age, the girl from the second example may begin to have problems associated with low self-esteem based on external signs.

Father's influence on daughter's self-esteem

The upbringing of her father plays an important role in a girl's life. Unfortunately, many men believe that showing love and affection towards their daughter ends with everyday communication, walks, and so on. But it is very important for girls to hear praise from their father, who would tell his daughter that she is the most beautiful, the smartest, the most gentle.

Fathers often joke like this: “Well, did you come home from school? Perhaps you picked up two? And the daughter, let’s say, is a good student or even an excellent student. A harmless joke, but this is only at first glance.

As a result, we get a bunch of complexes, reluctance to move up the career ladder, fear of more global goals - and all only because the internal attitude tells her: “I am unworthy.” There is a critical opportunity in early childhood when it is possible to instill in a girl a sense of self-worth that does not depend on the size of her breasts or the length of her legs.

Effective methods to increase self-esteem

The most important step on the path to self-improvement is to recognize that there is a problem. Often a person disguises it behind other feelings and deliberately avoids resolving the issue. As soon as awareness comes, you can safely move on to the following methods of increasing self-confidence:

1. Keep a diary of achievements. This step does not require any serious financial or time expenditure. It's simple: at the end of each day, take 10-15 minutes to write down your small and big victories that happened to you today. Maybe you read a book or finally got up an hour earlier than usual? You can always find a reason to praise. This will help you develop a positive mindset every day and focus your vision on personal success. It is important to re-read your notes daily.
2. Change your environment. Evaluate those with whom you communicate most often. If there are negative people in your circle, refuse to interact with them. More often you are in the company of positive and successful people who are confident and have a positive attitude towards you.
3. Play sports. The best way to distract yourself and clear your thoughts of negativity is physical exercise. In addition, if low self-esteem is associated with external data, sports will help you get in shape. By the way, during sports, our body produces the hormone of happiness - dopamine.
4. Give up self-criticism and soul-searching. You won’t be able to increase your self-esteem if you constantly scold yourself for something or constantly express dissatisfaction with your appearance and abilities. Praise yourself more often and think positive thoughts.
5. Avoid comparisons. Each of you is a unique person with your own individual set of qualities, strengths and weaknesses. Remember that there will always be those who have achieved greater results than you. In this case, it is worth taking an example from them, and not engaging in self-flagellation. Better yet, compare yourself today with yourself yesterday, and track your growth by recording your achievements in the diary we talked about above.
6. Listen and say affirmations. Affirmation is a positive judgment that creates the right psychological attitude. These are our statements and beliefs, thoughts, feelings and desires that we want to have right now. It is important to formulate affirmations in the present tense. For example: “I have a prestigious and highly paid job”, “I am beautiful and healthy”, “I am a happy person”.
7. Get out of your comfort zone. Yes, many people have heard about this method, but not everyone decides to do it, because it’s so comfortable and safe to be in your “shell.” Face your problem. Do you feel insecure when you are in a new company? Visit crowded places and events more often and be the first to start a conversation. Our online program “Best Communication Techniques” will be an excellent assistant for you, where you will learn how to interact more effectively with people thanks to interesting communication techniques. You just have to take a step and you will understand that everything is not as scary as it seemed at first glance.
8. Attend trainings. There are many different training activities aimed at increasing self-esteem and gaining self-confidence, so all you have to do is choose the one that’s right for you. If you are not yet ready to take the training, watch a movie or read a book on a current topic.
9. Forgive yourself. Uncertainty is often a consequence of feeling guilty about oneself. None of us are immune from mistakes, and it is important to be able to forgive ourselves for them. Write yourself a note and tell in it about your feelings, emotions, thoughts, problems, failures, and be sure to forgive yourself in writing for everything for which you feel guilty.
10. Meditate. Meditation helps you completely relax physically and let go of your thoughts. There are many different techniques aimed at getting rid of self-resentment and achieving peace.

Self-confidence is not an innate quality, but rather formed in the process of life. Your main task on the path to healthy self-esteem is to love yourself, learn to believe in your own strength, which is only possible through daily work on yourself and your thoughts.

Do what you love, do not deny yourself small and big joys, always think about the good and then everything will work out!

Good luck!

We also recommend reading:

• Storytelling
• How to increase self-esteem: practice from the field of NLP
• Personal authenticity: what it means to be yourself
• The Complete Guide to Self-Confidence
• Self-criticism
• Psychological picture
• Formation of self-awareness
• Formation of correct self-esteem
• Three masks of pathological narcissism
• Conditions for character formation
• Overcoming impostor syndrome

Key words: 1 Communication, 1 Psychoregulation

Public opinion

Society dictates what a woman should do and when.

• Too fat - thinner.
• Too thin - dial it.
• If you put on too much makeup, wipe it off.
• You have bruises under your eyes - paint them over.
• Don't be so stupid.
• Don't be smart.

These settings can be listed endlessly. Any attempt to meet social standards leads to low self-esteem.

Moreover, the more a woman tries to “realize herself” and “improve herself,” the lower her self-esteem, although the situation seems opposite to us at first glance. A confident woman does not need to prove anything to anyone. If she does something for herself, then she does not need constant approval from others. Many women suffer, but push themselves to the limit to prove their worth.

Signs of high self-esteem

They number in the dozens. But here are the main ones:

• Confidence in one’s own rightness, categorical attitude towards opposing opinions. Such a person will not even listen to them, he will not accept the very fact of their existence.
• Leaving the last word for yourself. In his opinion, it is he who must draw conclusions and decide how to proceed.
• Inability to ask for forgiveness. Moreover, people with high self-esteem and self-confidence believe that they have nothing to apologize for, even when they are really to blame.
• The habit of blaming other people or circumstances for your troubles. For success, on the contrary, he thanks only himself.
• Constant competition with others for the right to be called the best. Sometimes it even reaches the point of absurdity.
• The desire to be perfect and not make mistakes.
• The habit of expressing your opinion, even if no one was interested in it. He is sure that everyone wants to know his thoughts and point of view.
• Disdainful attitude towards criticism. He perceives it as a sign of disrespect.
• Inadequate assessment of one's own strengths. Such a person does not calculate risks - he always takes on difficult things.
• Constant use of the pronoun “I”, as well as derivatives - “me”, “at me”, “myself”, etc.
• Egocentrism.
• The tendency to interrupt and interrupt the interlocutor, since such a person prefers not to listen, but to speak.
• Arrogant, often irritable tone. This man does not ask - he orders. And words like “thank you” and “please” are completely unfamiliar to him.

In general, a key feature of a person with high self-esteem is arrogant and arrogant behavior. It catches your eye immediately and cannot be confused with anything.

Self-realization

As a rule, we do not know how to love ourselves just like that. We love ourselves for something. If we have not achieved anything significant in life, our self-esteem is zero. Have you ever thought that maybe THAT’S WHY we haven’t achieved anything in life because we don’t love ourselves.

After all, if you love yourself, it means making yourself happy. Do what brings you pleasure. Eat what you want. Rest where your soul asks.

A happy, self-loving person is full of energy to do what he loves. And what we love a priori brings success and fulfills us.

Based on this, you first need to love yourself, increase your self-esteem, and then engage in your realization.

The widespread belief that women have low self-esteem and misconceptions about themselves creates for all of us. To women, a prophetic but false installation. When things go wrong for us: problems in our personal lives or at work, we come to the conclusion that it is because there is something wrong with our self-esteem and personality. Stop self-absorbed - start loving yourself and everything will be fine!

Correction of self-esteem in the process of personality development

The opportunity to change your self-esteem towards a more adequate attitude towards yourself excites many people. This is especially true for mature individuals and seemingly accomplished people. During this period, a person begins to understand that an incorrect assessment of one’s own capabilities and strengths will prevent one from achieving success and will negatively affect relationships with others.

Self-esteem can even be corrected independently. But in particularly advanced situations, the help of a specialist (psychotherapist or consulting psychologist) is still necessary. But the easiest way is to increase self-esteem than to reduce inadequately inflated self-esteem. More precisely, there are conditions under which self-esteem decreases, but, as a rule, they are unpleasant and even traumatic for the individual. If a person realizes that he has inadequately high self-esteem, then he can look at himself critically. Consequently, his self-esteem is not so high. In any case, such a person is already on the right path.

There are many tips for correcting and increasing self-esteem. First of all, a person needs to figure out in what area he underestimates himself. It is necessary to determine what is most dissatisfying about oneself or what one lacks for the growth of self-respect.

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