How to raise a confident child and strengthen his self-esteem: 10 ways

How to tell if your child is confident

Traits of a confident person:

• manifestation of positive emotions when meeting new people;
• long-term friendships;
• calm demeanor;
• adequate response to critical comments from adults and peers;
• calm recognition of another person’s success, acceptance of one’s own failures;
• self-respect, understanding of one’s rights, the ability to defend them in front of peers and adults;
• perseverance, determination;
• having one’s own opinion, lacking a “herd” instinct.

By analyzing, analyzing in detail a person’s behavior in different situations, you can understand the strengths and weaknesses of character.

How to help your child become self-confident

Smart parents purposefully develop a sense of confidence in their daughter or son, and they should:

• praise the child if, thanks to work and perseverance, he has achieved a goal;
• set feasible goals, teach patience, the ability to gradually approach the goal;
• set up for a favorable outcome of affairs, situations;
• encourage, support, say more often: “You can do it!”;
• communicate as with an equal, listen to his opinion;
• do not accuse of shyness, timidity;
• encourage communication with younger children;
• avoid comparison with others.

Compliance with the listed rules will help to engender the sprouts of self-esteem in a child’s mind and strengthen this quality, because the process of developing a personality is not easy and quick. In the future, the child will pleasantly surprise you with his “steel” character.

Individual characteristics of upbringing

All children are different, which means they require different approaches to education. There are many factors that distinguish babies from each other, but one of the main ones is gender.

For harmonious development and self-confidence, a child needs a parental example. And here there are features. For a daughter there must be a kind father and a strict mother, for a son there must be a soft mother and a strict father. in more detail about raising girls and boys in these articles.

How to raise a confident girl

Girls are very sensitive by nature. The process of learning and education itself is important for them. That is why, from early childhood, girls play appropriate games - cooking, dressing up dolls, treating soft toys.

The girl does not need to be praised for her achievements and results. You need to love her just like that, without reason. Otherwise, already as an adult woman, she will constantly seek approval for her actions and risks becoming comfortable rather than loved in a relationship with a man.

How to raise a boy to be confident in his abilities

Boys, on the contrary, are very independent by nature. For them, the process does not matter if it does not lead to the final result - achieving the goal. For this reason, boys collect construction sets.

Sons should be praised precisely for their achievements. This way they become more independent, responsible and self-confident. It is important for boys to feel that their parents trust them. They don't need excessive care, but they still want to know that they are loved and appreciated.

All means are good in education, so don’t be afraid to experiment. Every parent knows what is best for his son or daughter. You can also find out 27 tips from psychologists for raising a harmonious and confident personality.

The most important thing is not to overdo it. And for those mothers and fathers who still have little experience, there are recommendations from psychologists. You should definitely listen to them.

How to develop self-confidence and raise self-esteem in a child: 10 tips

Smart parents pay attention to the psychological development of the child from one year of age.

Psychologists have identified the top 10 most effective tips on how to help your child overcome fear and self-doubt:

1. Increase your own authority, show willpower. The baby takes an example from his parents, repeats his behavior, and perceives different situations in a similar way. Parents with low self-esteem grow up to have the same children, and vice versa.
2. Adequately assess the child’s successes and talents. It's bad to underestimate a baby. However, an inflated bar that he is not able to overcome can forever undermine self-confidence. Don't over-praise for ordinary things. Only new achievements should be highlighted.
3. Give the correct instructions. The following phrases are prohibited: “You won’t succeed,” “Woe is my onion,” “You won’t get anything good from you.” On the contrary, you need to set yourself up for positivity, success, and say more often: “Don’t be afraid, you can handle it,” “Everything will be fine!”
4. Have a heart-to-heart talk. It is necessary to establish a trusting relationship with your son or daughter, calmly discuss problems, and find a way out. Understand what worries and scares the little person, help him understand himself. He must accept himself as he is, with all his shortcomings and advantages.
5. Play teaching. A suitable option for any age. The main thing is to create a difficult situation during the game, which you need to solve yourself.
6. Take them to various sections and clubs. The additional skills and successes acquired will allow the little person to be proud of himself and increase self-esteem.
7. Develop communication skills. If there are problems communicating with peers, you need to help solve them. In the case of small children, organize a home children's party. In a familiar environment, they feel more confident, and strong contact is established between them.
8. React appropriately to mistakes. Anyone can make a mistake. You cannot express dissatisfaction with a child; you can only criticize the action itself.
9. Foster a sense of responsibility. Periodically give simple instructions and demand their timely execution. There should be daily chores that are feasible for age.
10. Develop a sense of purpose in a child. It is imperative to instill the idea that any work started must be persistently completed. Having achieved what they want, the boy or girl will believe that they can cope with more complex tasks.

Attention! If you cannot cope with psychological problems on your own, seek a solution from qualified psychologists.

Raising a confident and self-sufficient child

It has been proven that children whose parents “broadcast” confidence in their own abilities, treated the child with respect as an individual, and not as a person dependent on them, in every possible way protecting or suppressing his initiative, achieved much more in life than the latter.

For your information. It is important to understand that as an adult it is much more difficult to instill such traits in yourself, but this directly affects the quality of life.

Leaders are always self-confident

How to build self-confidence in a child

Reasons for uncertainty:

• Insufficient expression of love or its complete absence. Some are afraid of spoiling their child, some simply don’t have the time, and others themselves did not receive love in childhood - hence the shifted level of the norm. As a result, the child feels lonely and, since his life is concentrated in the hands of his parents, self-doubts begin (“What’s wrong with me? Why don’t they love me? I’m not good enough”).

• Threats, intimidation, aggression, reluctance to negotiate or explain (a painfully familiar phrase - “If you behave badly, I’ll give it to your aunt... that’s it, I’m off!”).
• Lack of support and understanding of the child’s problems and fears. For example, instead of helping to cope with the fear of the dark, parents leave the baby alone or with a night light at best. Feeling abandoned, experiencing horror every night is terrible - it negatively affects the child's psyche.

Leadership qualities can be instilled from childhood

• Parents' lack of self-confidence. It is impossible to teach what you yourself do not possess. In such families, phrases like “Where are you going, don’t poke your nose in... keep quiet, you’ll keep going... you can’t do it, don’t bother... you won’t succeed...” have become the norm of communication. A logical chain of conclusions arises in the child’s head: “Mom and Dad are the most authoritative people in my world... if they don’t believe in me, saying that nothing will work out, so be it....”
• Overprotection. An attempt to warn against gaining your own experience. Fear of giving responsibility for your actions. The consequence is uninitiated children.
• Lack of unconditional love, devaluation of results.
• Criticism, comparison with other “smarter, more obedient, beautiful...” children.

How to raise a child to be self-confident: 10 tips from psychologists for parents

Psychologists help parents give confidence to the child.

Rewarding efforts even if there is no result

It is important to reinforce the understanding that success is the number of attempts. This approach will have a positive impact on self-esteem. The child will not be afraid of difficulties, start something and give up halfway.

Motivation for activity and action

It is necessary to give a reaction to the action itself. You shouldn’t be afraid to over-praise your child, the main thing is to instill awareness that it is better to do a little than not to do at all. You can play the game “Tree of Victory”, the essence of which is as follows: draw a huge branchy tree with a wide crown. Place it on the wall and prepare large multi-colored fruits associated with the child’s achievements. Fruits should be glued solemnly and at the slightest victory. Another way to increase activity is to allow time with peers. Communication and socialization are integral components of the development of a child’s personality.

Help from psychologists helps develop confidence

Right to independence

This point is associated with the following - the mistake of many is the desire to “spread straws”. There is no need for this - the cones must be filled, and the experience must be gained and stored in memory. For example, a girl asks to help her mother wash the dishes. It would be wrong to ban it by saying “well, no, you’ll break everything!” Allowing, giving advice on how to wash better is the right path to developing independence.

Fun dances for preschoolers in kindergarten

The right to curiosity

The process of learning about the world around us is natural and exciting, and it is important to respond to it accordingly. You can suggest listening to audiobooks.

Note! By turning over a glass of water, the boy satisfied his interest and at the same time received consequences - a wet floor and the need to fix it. The chances of a repetition of such an episode are extremely small; the child learned the lesson through curiosity.

Setting an additional goal, a horizon of possibilities

You can start with the “Finish the Phrase” game, which is aimed at realizing your strengths, skills and talents. The ball alternates between parents and children. The task is to complete the sentence: “I know...I can...”.

Ban on criticism

One of the most important methods for instilling self-confidence in a child is to forget about criticism forever. This destroys the self-sufficiency of any person, not to mention children. How often can you hear from adults: “...my mother said that a bear stepped on my ear...my father always said that my hands are growing out of my legs...”. Such “audio perception” should be replaced by making constructive proposals and ways to resolve the situation.

Criticism must be eradicated

Right to make mistakes

By making mistakes, children learn, develop and improve themselves. The fear of failure decreases every time. Failures are inevitable, but thanks to them, there is a chance to do differently next time.

For your information. It is important to remove judgment and evaluation of the child at this moment.

Using new features

The encouragement to do something new, something that captivates the child, and encouragement for this allows you to add confidence and grow correct self-esteem. Coercion should be avoided here. Psychologists say that stable interest is formed only by the age of 12. Therefore, cases of abandonment of various sections after a week or a month are the norm.

Support in difficult situations

For your information. It is important to express support, faith in success and empathy.

Troubles happen to everyone, but this does not mean that life is terrible and consists only of them. There are often cases when parents do not attach due importance or are not able to appreciate the full scale of the problem, since by their standards there is no damage. For example, when a girl’s favorite doll broke. Her tragedy is nonsense for adults.

How to teach your child mental math on your own

Sharing your experience

Education is a non-verbal process. Unfortunately, many people forget about this. Children unconsciously copy their parents' behavior, their reactions, character, gestures, even their manner of communication.

Note. Everyone wants to see their child happy, but not everyone is responsible for their behavior. The authority of parents' opinions is undeniable; it is extremely important to set the right example and share your rich life experience.

How to raise a confident child and strengthen his self-esteem

Ways to improve self-esteem:

• Do not compare your child with others. The best comparison is a comparison with how you were yesterday, a month, a year ago.
• Communicate with your child as equals.
• Allow them to take responsibility for their actions and apply adequate punishment.
• Don’t make your child’s life easier by solving problems for him.
• Welcome initiative.
• Scold only for actions. Focusing on qualities will make a child doubt himself.
• Create a rough environment.
• Accept your baby for who he is. One should not attribute to him non-existent qualities or expect things that he is unable to fulfill.

Note ! The difference between “you broke the plate, what a pity” and “you are stupid and sloppy, you broke the plate!” huge.