Through the keyhole
“Curiosity is not a vice,” but in fact it turns out that this is one of the reasons why ex-boyfriends remind themselves of themselves. Surprisingly, both categories of guys strive to stick their noses where they shouldn’t: both those who abandoned and those who were abandoned. The impetus for such curiosity is the thread of the relationship itself. If a guy was carried on a small palm and was ready to kiss his butt, then it would be unrealistic for him to itching to find out, “How is she doing now?
Is she still crying or have you found someone?” And God forbid you end up happy! If this happens, then the spirit of the conqueror and the thirst for competition will not allow either one to live in peace. Endless calls will begin with stupid questions, like, “do you remember my favorite sneakers? I forgot them in the pantry, did you throw them out? Give them to me, please? All this is aimed at seeing each other, trying to detect the former spark in the eyes. And at this moment it is deeply parallel to the former that he himself is no longer free.
Is it possible to somehow minimize this? Yes, easily: sneakers in the mail, a meeting is unlikely, thanks for the congratulations, bye!
“Eternal return...” You broke up with a man, but he periodically reminds you of himself. Why?
Most people reading this have exes. I would like to think that everyone has, because this is the experience of love and feelings (sometimes negative).
And probably many people have one in their “memory cabinet” that is not gathering dust. The relationship has ended or faded away, and he appears periodically.
The formats of “phenomena” are different. One writes nightly messages: “How are you? Just wanted to know if you were okay.” Another calls during lunch break: “Did you bother me?” The third sits on a bench at the entrance: “This life is complicated... I was waiting to just talk to you...” And the fourth is interested in your personal life.
In general, they remind us of themselves as best they can. The stated reasons for calls, SMS and sudden likes are banal and stupid. Well, who will believe that he is interested in your affairs? Or did you happen to pass by? Nobody!
Because such comebacks are not accidental, you think. This is a sacred encrypted message from the universe: “Baby, this is your destiny, isn’t it clear?!”
And you sit with him at night, texting. Or you drop what you’re doing and listen to the details of his faded life. In general, you are falling for provocations. Not the universe, but him.
The Universe is tired of teaching you and showing you what this relationship leads to. Because every time it’s the same thing – it shows up and goes off into the night again. And it hurts, but you don’t lose hope. “This time it will certainly be different!” It’s not in vain that it doesn’t disappear forever. So it's fate.
Exactly. There is essentially no love or relationship, but yes there is a mystical connection.
If I were wise, I would listen to the universe and read the signs correctly - “I decided to leave, so it’s goodbye!”
But you don't want to see the truth. You want it your way. So that his returns would mean something. Important. Love, for example. Or the desire to get married. And don't lie to yourself! If I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t answer the phone, I wouldn’t answer messages, I would have blocked her on social networks 2 years ago.
Is it sad to hear this? It's hard without hope. And he gives it occasionally, this is his advantage.
This is how we live - he gives you hope, and you give him yourself and dignity: “I’m still waiting for you, you are dear to me, I remember everything...”.
Periodic returns of a man and reminders of himself are not love. This is disrespect for a woman!
Love is when you haven't left. And the episodic comeback is: “Does she still remember me? Maybe he loves? I am cool! So what if I can’t act like a man and stop asserting myself at the expense of the one I loved. I will appear in her life as much as I want, because only against the backdrop of women suffering for me do I feel like a man!”
And yes, you chose this one. Moreover, you continue to do this, reacting to it. Stop it immediately! You deserve not an alpha, but a Man. You know how to love, give a second chance, forgive, remember the good and hope for the best. Don't waste such precious and rare qualities on someone who doesn't need it.
Thirst for revenge2
Such a reminder of oneself appears when the ex-girlfriend’s life improves much faster and better than that of the ex. That's when the most natural stalking begins. Either he writes “mi-mi-mi” on social networks, at best, or he receives SMS or calls at night. All these actions are aimed at just doing basic shit.
Dealing with this is difficult and exhausting. What do we have to do? When breaking up, you need to delete and block wherever possible. Knowing that the former is still a hysterical person, anticipate events by telling the current gentleman what kind of “fruit” was before him and what he is capable of. Thus, there is every chance of having a cast-iron alibi before the start of hostilities.
Negative consequences
When entering into a substitute relationship, not every man adequately assesses the possible negative consequences. When establishing contact with a new passion, it is important to be prepared for :
- a significant decrease in the likelihood of returning your former love;
- women's revenge;
- meeting a woman of stronger character;
- anxiety from disrespect;
- condemnation from loved ones;
- the need to get to know each other again;
- accept the shortcomings of the new partner.
Despite the fact that a man enters into a substitute relationship not out of love, this does not exclude the sincere motivation of his new passion. Sooner or later, a serious conversation will take place , during which the real reasons for starting another novel will become clear.
A girl can be extremely impressionable, and suffering after a breakup often provokes overly emotional women to commit irreparable acts. It is unlikely that a man will be able to simply get rid of the disappointment or anger of his deceived passion.
Othello in the flesh3
Jealousy and revenge go hand in hand. And the reasons for the appearance of both are absolutely the same. They are the ones who answer the question: why does the ex-boyfriend remind you of himself? The behavior pattern may also be similar. The whole problem is that guys cannot calmly accept the fact of the serene existence of their ex-girlfriend. Well, she has no right to be happy with someone else besides him. The whole problem is the notorious rivalry. This is the nature of men.
How to fight? No way. There are several options for the development of events. But they don't work well. Here you just have to wait until the faithful find a new passion. There she will not let him indulge in self-indulgence, and she will distract him quite a bit.
Great sex
Compatibility in bed is not always found. Psychologist and relationship expert Yaroslav Samoilov claims that it is enchanting sex that makes a man return to his ex-partner. However, there is another way to look at this. Do not doubt that he has probably already compared his former partner with others and decided that it would be better to return to her, because subsequent passions did not impress him in bed. This is why the ex reminds you of himself.
A girl with low self-esteem will be pleased with this. If your ex comes back with an offer to “kick back the old days,” you shouldn’t agree to a relationship that only involves a pleasant pastime. You can convince yourself that you also only need sex from him. You'll just remember old times and part as friends.
However, psychologists have long proven that women are not able to separate sex from emotional attachment. He will take advantage of you and forget you, and you will suffer again.
Prolonged loneliness4
One of the reasons for the appearance of an ex on the horizon is his loneliness. There are a lot of reasons for this, but the very fact of an endless series of long winter evenings with the TV in an embrace forces the ex to start trying to return. As a rule, such returns happen after a very long time. Awareness of the simple truth “we don’t keep what we have, and when we lose it, we cry,” forces us to make desperate attempts to get everything back.
By the way, such returns happen very often. And here you need to think hard: is the game worth the candle? Sometimes a breakup occurs spontaneously, out of emotion, and only over time comes the understanding that this is a mistake. Especially, such things happen to couples who have been together for a very long time, have some kind of savings, stability, or are even involved with children. In such a situation, you can try to start all over again. The result will be the same: either it worked or it didn’t.
Alternate airfield5
Often guys leave for quite predictable reasons - they haven’t had enough fun. Such “walkers” subsequently think that the ex-girlfriend may well pass for an “alternate airfield.” Especially if the sex with her was excellent. Such frames are activated before significant dates: March 8, birthday and other holidays.
In such cases, they behave as positively as possible: white, fluffy, with passion in their voice, speaking with a breath and pouring so much oil into their ears that you can simply drown in the sweet-talking stream. All this is supported by flowers, sweets and other goodies. How to react to this? Well, it’s enough to remember the very reason for the separation and understand that the ex just didn’t find anyone for that evening. Well, or he is now completely calm in sex, but he wants it wildly. How acceptable this is is up to the girl to decide.
For the purpose of revenge
Many men suffer from a painful self-importance that borders on narcissism. When such a gentleman sees his former companion prettier and happy, his possessive reflex is triggered. He needs to win her back to prove to himself that she is still his only.
The situation worsens even more if the girl already has a companion. If the guy she broke up with becomes persistent and creative, he could ruin his jilted lover's new relationship. This is exactly what he needs. This is why the ex reminds you of himself.
People who strive to return relationships for the sake of a desire to assert themselves cannot give happiness to their chosen ones. These are petty and weak-willed individuals who are accustomed to blaming the opposite sex for their own failures.
Return of the Prodigal6
Well, like the cherry on the cake: the ex realized what he lost and quite sincerely wants to return. This situation is from the category of loneliness, very similar reasons. But there is a difference. The ex could have left for someone out of emotion, but after living on the side he realized the scale of the disaster and decided that there was a chance to return. Whether to give it or not is up to the girl herself. After all, no one knows how it will all end, but what if he really is the one...
Why does an ex-boyfriend remind you of himself is a very simple question. You definitely shouldn’t dwell on this, nor should you put on “rose-colored glasses” or build rosy prospects. Only one thing would be appropriate: to compare cause and effect. And then everything becomes clear.
Message from the Editor
Men and women are creatures from different planets or even from different universes. However, this is the beauty of relationships. Representatives of the opposite sex fit together like puzzles and are in perfect harmony with each other. It is only important to learn a few basic secrets that will help build strong and wonderful relationships. And we really hope that each of our advice helps you achieve your goals! Read our magazine and you will discover a lot more interesting things about dating and relationships. You can get rid of a lot of problems! Stay with us if you decide to expand your knowledge on dating and relationships.
Is it worth reminding yourself and renewing past relationships?
After a breakup, people are often tormented by questions about whether they should remind themselves and whether they should be given a second chance. Psychologists advise following the following algorithm:
- Before taking any actions, think about whether it is worth trying to return the person if you want, and whether it is worth returning to your past partner if he asks for it. The reason for the breakup is of great importance. If the partner was disrespectful, could raise his hand, or cheated, then there is no need to resume communication. There is a high probability that all the conflicts that existed in the past will arise in the future.
- Don't rush into making decisions. Very often, calls and SMS from a past partner begin to arrive immediately after separation. When a man or woman asks to return, you cannot be led by your feelings and emotions. Psychologists recommend taking a break, being apart for a while and only after that thinking about everything carefully.
- Remember all the positive and negative events. The psychology of the breakup of a relationship between a man and a woman shows that people, when thinking about the return of their soulmate, very often forget about all the bad moments. Only good things are remembered. Before making a decision, you should recall in your memory all the events that preceded the breakup. Only after analyzing all the memories can you decide to take the right step. It is important to be guided by your mind, not your heart.
- Give your partner the opportunity to take any action. From them you can understand what the other half wants, whether all past mistakes were really realized, whether the person is ready to change, etc.
Sometimes relationships are so confusing and complex that it is impossible to figure them out on your own. In such cases, it is recommended to consult a psychologist after breaking up. He will identify problematic aspects of the relationship, help you decide whether partners need to be together, and give recommendations on how to resolve any conflicts.
