The origin of a relationship between a man and a woman
Very often, even when meeting a man, women make some mistakes that completely kill the relationship at its very beginning.
The main and most common mistake of most women is the instinct of ownership. Yes, not only men have such problems. Some ladies, immediately after meeting and establishing mutual sympathy, try to take the “bull by the horns”. They hang around men’s necks, call and write many times a day and actually demand meetings.
When meeting such a woman, almost all men prefer to hide from her horizon and not even try to get to know her better. It is extremely important for a man to feel and understand that it was HE who chose the woman and achieved her, and not vice versa.
Speaking of relationships, a man also needs time to realize that he himself wants a serious relationship with a specific woman, and not with someone else. If a woman is not sure that they have started a relationship with a man she is interested in, it is better to refrain from intimacy so as not to bitterly regret it later.
The second common mistake women make is being too open. Men, unlike women, can perfectly well have sex with a partner for whom they have no feelings. At the same time, for many women, physical intimacy is already evidence of a serious relationship. Such women immediately open up to a man, telling him about their own feelings and plans for 5 children and a house by the sea.
In such a situation, the man will either continue to sleep with the woman without a full-fledged relationship, or he will leave at the first opportunity. It is extremely important for representatives of beauty to maintain some mystery around themselves, and under no circumstances talk about their feelings until it becomes clear that we are talking about a relationship, and not about sex without obligations.
The demanding nature of a lady is another reason why a man may avoid a serious relationship. When, at the very beginning of an acquaintance, a woman begins to present a bunch of claims to a man, coupled with demands, justifying that he owes her because he is a man, you can forget about the relationship. Firstly, in order to make any personal demands on a man, you need to meet his requirements yourself.
Secondly, even if the relationship has already begun, but has not yet developed, there can be no talk of any demands. Especially if such a relationship is based only on sex. This can be called a mutually beneficial cooperation rather than a partnership.
The heap of problems that single women often dump on a new man they know can scare away anyone. Of course, every divorced or single lady dreams that a man will appear who will immediately rush to help her and solve her problems. But this is the lot of television novels, but not real life.
In life, no one wants to immediately take on other people's problems. Mutual assistance requires a long time of communication, trust and, at a minimum, feelings. When a woman, immediately after meeting her, begins to tell a man about her life troubles and problems that require solutions, you can forget that he will want a relationship with her.
After all, you must admit that a woman is unlikely to want to contact a man without work, money, housing, with a bunch of illnesses and debts. Everyone wants to see a settled and prosperous person next to them.
The man is not ready for a relationship
Relationships are a responsibility, and many men are simply not ready for it. They all understand what they have to do in a relationship, how they need to behave, and that they need to constantly take steps towards making them happy. Some men are simply not ready to do this, as they say, they have not “grown up” to a serious relationship, their interests are still completely different, and they do not want to burden themselves with additional responsibilities, so such a man does not want a relationship.
Similar article - Why men don't want relationships
Bachelor syndrome - its manifestations and causes_8212
Despite everything described above, there are also situations when a woman behaves ideally, but the man does not want a relationship - why? Relationship psychologists say this may be due to “bachelor syndrome.”
For the first time, scientists from the UK spoke about this syndrome, who conducted a huge amount of research in the field of relations between men and women, their occurrence and development. They say that the source of the development of this syndrome is a negative experience with a girl.
Of course, not every experience of unrequited, youthful love can lead to such consequences. The reason for the appearance of bachelor syndrome is a man’s persistent and long-term experience of a relationship with one woman that ended in failure and a broken heart.
This is what leads to a subconscious, negative association in some men with the obligations that arise in serious relationships. Such men cannot do without sex, for which they can enter into a relationship with a woman, but the relationship itself will be superficial and optional.
A man with such a psychological problem, even if he is in a relationship, will not tell absolutely everything about himself, may disappear for a long time and will be extremely impatient with women’s hysterics.
Representatives of the stronger half of humanity with a similar syndrome perceive a serious relationship as the end of their freedom, fun and fulfilling sex. In principle, their relationships are associated with spouses who have long been tired of each other and constantly quarrel.
If the reason why a man does not want a relationship is precisely this psychological syndrome, it is unlikely that a woman should waste her time, energy, and feelings on him. Reality shows that men suffering from such a problem are extremely rarely “cured” and that this requires the help of professionals.
Of course, a woman wants to believe that it is her perseverance, love and faith that will save this man from his deep-rooted beliefs and stereotypes. Except that's not true.
If the beginning of a relationship is hindered by a man’s position that he does not need a serious relationship, such a man should be left alone. Until he decides for himself that he needs such a relationship, fighting him and for him is absolutely useless.
Not only men, but also girls avoid relationships. And in order to solve this problem and get out of this state, it is necessary to find out the reason. This is what we will talk about in the next article.
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Knowledge of the world
Many women find themselves in a situation where a man says that he does not want a close relationship. But at the same time he continues to communicate and devote time. At such a moment, any woman begins to think and ask herself questions such as: why doesn’t she want to? Doesn’t he just want to be with me or not at all? When it is ready? Does he love you or not? After all, you think that everything is fine and he seems to like you, but at a certain moment he makes it clear that nothing will work out yet.
At the moment when you have something going on with a man, you go to the cinema, take a walk, chat or do something else together, but you can’t count on anything more. The very first thing to do is ask him what the reason is.
The most common reasons why men don't want a relationship:
- 1. Images of friends and acquaintances who constantly complain about family life. 2. Complete lack of initiative and female coldness towards a man. 3. Disrespectful behavior towards a man, the desire to please others. 4. Lack of financial opportunities. If a man is responsible, he may be ashamed that he cannot afford anything to you or himself. So, most men put career and money first. 5. Bad experiences from past relationships.
You can still find a large number of reasons, but these are the most common ones, because of which it is extremely difficult to build something with a person. You should not hope that everything will resolve itself, this happens very rarely. Always try to find out what is the matter and talk about the relationship, and when you find out the reason, start to build on this and, if possible, resolve this issue as quickly as possible.
Quote! We don’t do much that could be done, ourselves and without knowing why.
In modern relationships, divorce is no longer something important, people get married and divorced very quickly and do not attach much importance to it. Divorce is a difficult factor in a man’s life; it is foolish to assume that only women have a hard time during a divorce; for a man it is also a great stress. Try to be understanding and even if the man said that he doesn’t care, this is far from the case. If the divorce happened a long time ago, and the man has not yet gotten his act together and forgotten, then this is a reason to think about what to do. Perhaps he is accustomed to loneliness and a sense of freedom; it will also be very difficult to build a serious relationship with such a man. Of course, the choice is always behind your decision whether to continue dating such a man or let him go.
Important! Try to understand whether the person is right for you or not, throw away all emotions and look to the future.
It also happens that a man does not want to say why he does not want to develop a serious relationship. He tries in every possible way to avoid answering and does not tell you directly. How, then, can you understand what he really wants? There are various signs by which you can determine. We have prepared for you the seven most important signs that will help you find out and understand the main thing.
Top 7 signs that a man is not ready for a serious relationship:
- 1. Doesn't ask for help. A woman could help him around the house or cook something for dinner. 2. Doesn’t introduce you to family and friends. It also happens that a man is simply afraid, but in other cases this is a sign that the man will not be with you for long. Don't confuse getting to know friends, you may know all his friends, but not know his family, that's an indicator of his intentions. 3. Constantly busy. A man will always find time for what he wants, and if a man simply ignores you, you can always feel it. 4. Talks little about himself. Doesn't talk much about his childhood, his past or his parents. 5. Doesn't talk about the future. You don’t have conversations “for life”, he doesn’t tell you about what he wants in the future, how to live, where to live, with whom to live. 6. Doesn't help as a man. There are cases that are divided into “male” and “female”. If an outlet or faucet is broken in your house and a man says that these things should be handled by specialists, then this is another sign that he doesn’t care. Any man will at least try to do something and show that he can be relied upon in any matter. 7. Gives gifts that can be given to any girl. If you have known a man for a long time, then during this time he should understand what you like and what you want. A man in love will always try to make you feel better and give you something that will make you smile.
If your man tells you: “I would really like a relationship, but there is no opportunity yet,” then it is your choice whether to trust him or not. If you are confident in him, as in no one else, then you should rather wait and see how he will behave further.
You believe him and want to wait
Sometimes it’s really worth waiting, if you see that a man won’t let you go, it’s better to be patient and help in every possible way to develop your relationship. Who knows, maybe in a year or two you will have a great family and have a great wedding.
You realized that this is not your person
What if you see that a man only gives hope, and cannot make a decision in any way and does nothing but torment you. Believe me, in this life you can find a person who will do a lot for you and will carry you in his arms. Do not under any circumstances stay with a person out of fear or habit; by such actions you will find yourself in misfortune. Sooner or later in the life of every person there appears someone with whom it will be very easy and comfortable in any life situation.
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General Affairs
Often during a relationship, a situation arises where you need to imagine yourself as a couple. This applies to various family celebrations, as well as vacations or solving various issues. Usually the girl doesn't even have to ask. The young man will definitely be with her at the holiday, help with her problems and be nearby. In the absence of a serious relationship, men come up with busy work or illness.
How to understand from a man’s behavior in the early stages of a relationship that he will “sit on your neck”
It is important to understand that frivolous relationships will never develop into love. You can reassure yourself by keeping your other half busy or feeling unwell. If a man loves a woman, he will always find time for a date or a call, he will try to introduce her to her relatives and become part of her family. Don't be fooled and waste time on relationships that will lead nowhere.
Excessive requirements
“I want a prince in a white limousine! Be sure to be tall, blond, and blue eyes!” Is this what 12-year-old girls dream about? So, in reality there are only one or two such “princes”.
It happens that a woman builds a template for a perfect man and tries to “shape” her betrothed into it. This does not apply specifically to appearance, but also to work, behavior and other things.
If you really care about your chosen one, you shouldn’t nag him because he rarely says “I love you” or cannot be torn between work and you. Although there are lazy people, they can move mountains for the sake of the woman they really love.
If you “blow the mind” of a man before the birth of a serious relationship, then you can’t even count on starting a family with him, and certainly not be surprised why he doesn’t ask you to get married.
You are not suitable for this man.
I’ll say right away that if some man at this moment in his life does not want a relationship with you, then this is most likely only because you do not correspond to him NOW. Or maybe you will never fit in!
But read this as - you are not ready yet, but you have a chance, because you are reading Shards, and not another snotty blog.
You don’t fit in, that’s all. And you don’t even understand what I’m telling you!
What parameters can we attribute to the correspondence between a man and a woman?
- Sex
- Ambition
- Fears
- Experience (potential)
- Principles (not so important, but still)
- The essence
- Desires
- Inconsistency
And what I’m saying is that for a man, if you want, of course, to charm him and be with him, then you need to match him. Do something, be ready for a relationship.
I intentionally leave out things like religion, upbringing, education, and social status. All this has absolutely nothing to do with your and my hormones. It is rather the pressure of society that amoebas cannot resist.
Let's look at these points.
Sex
I'll start with sex. Because this is the essence of any relationship. No sex - no relationship. No relationship, no sex. There is no relationship without sex. When sex disappears from a relationship, it collapses.
One of the most common problems of the female half is that men merge immediately after sex. You think that they didn’t like you, that your ass is fat or your breasts are not big. Thin legs or acne all over the body.
Of course, maybe you’re really fat and saggy, you’ve let yourself go. How did he even get into you then? What did you give him there?
No. You don't match him sexually.
If he fucks like hell, loves hard and rough sex, cums in girls’ mouths, hits girls in the ass with a belt, and you’re all mannered, don’t touch you here, don’t look at you there. You don't get fucked here. You're not comfortable there. Then you don't measure up.
It turns out that you don't give a fuck. You love making love. Tender and passionate. With kisses and hugs. With cute little words.
I once told a girl, “I want to have sex with you.” To which she answered me - I don’t have sex, I make love.
I scratched the back of my head and thought to myself, what would happen if I told her - I want to fuck you like the last whore, mock you all night and wipe my feet on you? Some part of her body would probably fall off.
That's no match for you.
Stop. Do you think you like rough sex, does it turn you on? Well, guess what? Rough sex is different from rough sex. What is rude to you is gentle to him.
You think you're great, that you're a great fucker. Nope. You're just fucking. Simple. So. A C with a minus. You evaluate yourself in terms of how you move. If you move beautifully and skillfully impale yourself on a penis, then are you a sex goddess? No! Just an ordinary priest.
In general, I had a girl who didn’t move much during sex, but she was amazing at sex. Because I was moving. What have we done and where have we done! After all, sex is not a dance, but sex. Movement is not the main thing. The main thing is what's going on in your head.
And now he has you. You're having a blast. You're falling for this asshole.
But he sees that you can’t achieve everything with you. If he offers you a threesome, you'll be frozen out. And he will crush his fantasies for your sake?
Or will he find one that will match?
But if you enthusiastically accept his fantasies, your panties are wet from them, then you immediately become closer to each other! You are even more one.
Hey. This can go on for years. You can sleep for years. You will feel like you are having super sex. But he doesn't. He will be dissatisfied with the brains. His imagination will be unsatisfied.
Then he leaves. Leaves you with the children. Or he finds a lover with whom he realizes everything. Often men then return to their wives and live happy lives. Satisfied your lust!
Of course, I’m far from Casanova, but I have experience with girls. And I will say this. Most are zero in sex. You think men like sex with you. I'm telling you, men just like to cum. I also like to jerk off and cum soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo But this does not mean that I will enter into a relationship with my right hand.
I don’t argue that there are also a lot of zero men and you’ve simply never been properly fucked. Well, what can you do? Learn to fuck. Look for womanizers, let them teach you. I think they won't mind.
Morality. The most effective girls consciously and subconsciously want to fulfill all the fantasies of their man. The most effective girls are great at sex.
Lifestyle
I would prefer to be in a relationship with a girl who will respect my standards, my lifestyle.
And the best respect is not just acceptance - well, let him run around on his own, or dance on his own, while I cook borscht and chat with my friend about what a bitch, creature and whore Masha is.
The best respect is conformity. Do the same thing, get sick of it. Do something similar. Identical. Draw some kind of life analogy with this man. Go, albeit not one way, but in one direction.
If your boyfriend is in business, then you should be in business too. Either your own or help him. At home, in the office, wherever and however you want!
If he works for himself, then he wants to see a girl nearby who works for herself. And not on Sergei Valentinovich.
If he plays sports, you should play with him. Otherwise, he will end up having a nice conversation with the girl in the hall. Then he will enter her nicely. And he will fall in love with her sweetly and want a relationship with her. She matched. You are not!
If he loves and gets high on extreme sports, then he will like that girl who can’t sit at home, because her ass is a magnet for adventures that smell like fried food.
If he is a traveler at heart, and you are a homebody. Then you, well, are not suitable for each other. Some of you will have to sacrifice your lifestyle.
He wakes up early and starts solving problems in the morning, while you like to go to bed in the morning and then sleep until lunch. All these little things fit together into a single whole. This is immediately obvious. It feels...
Morality. Your lifestyle is the key to a man's heart. Every girl can change her lifestyle. But not everyone wants to. What goes around comes around.
Fears
I'm not talking about the fears that come to your mind now. Take it deeper. (Sounds cheesy, doesn't it?)
I simply asked people a question - what are they afraid of?
They are not afraid of anything! That's what they say. They're lying, you bastards!
They are afraid of what other people will think of them. They are afraid of the truth. They are afraid to think about tomorrow. They are afraid to give up what is familiar. Saying “No” and saying “Yes”.
All this is not the same...
I'm afraid to live poor because I lived poor for many years, I was born into a simple family and I had to go through a lot to start affording myself a lot of what I wanted.
I'm afraid of wasting time.
I'm afraid to die without leaving my traces on the planet.
I'm afraid of drugs, alcohol and cigarettes.
I am afraid of people who use drugs, alcohol and cigarettes.
I'm afraid of not being a creator, I'm afraid of being a stupid consumer.
I'm afraid of a sedentary lifestyle, afraid of being fat and lazy.
I'm afraid of hurting those who do good to me.
I'm afraid to live a boring life and be like everyone else.
I'm afraid of not being able to achieve my goals.
I'm afraid that my girlfriend won't be afraid of what I'm afraid of.
I'm afraid (damn, it turns out I'm a real coward!) of heart disease, lung cancer, being late for a train or plane, not living to old age, not reaching the finish line of a marathon.
What are you afraid of?
What is your man afraid of?
Morality. Your fears must correspond to each other. This is the psychology of deep penetration into the very ESSENCE.
The essence
Feel each other. Read thoughts from a distance. You take the phone to call him, at this time he rings. And so on all the time.
You're empty inside. It turns out because it is empty. You feel its essence, feel it. He feels you.
You don’t understand men, but you understand HIM, you feel and feel. Not at the level of thoughts, you feel his energy. His strength. Its warm.
It’s as if an invisible thread connects you. Through houses, through clothes, through distance, through kisses, through other people, this thread stretches from him to you. It connects you, ties you hand and foot, bringing you even closer together; there is a powerful energy field around you. Discharges! Energy exchange.
Sometimes energy threads break when one wants to fit in, but the other doesn’t care. Your thread reaches out to this man, but does not connect with him. Lying next to him, bleeding yellow energy into the void.
Your paths cross only because your ESSENCES correspond. Two hearts beat peacefully to the beat.
Morality. You must feel each other and match energetically. Otherwise, you will trip over your own broken thread...
Desires
A very subtle point that your psyche does not notice because it is busy with something else. But this is hyper important. Mega important.
The men in your life are a mirror of you. Your desires reflect the men you attract to you.
Why do beautiful women often not meet successful men throughout their lives? Because their desires do not correspond to the idea of men. I'll explain now. This is the law.
You want something and desire something. I want …. And you offer a whole list of what you want from men...
The universe mirrors what you want in reverse order. You want a man with money, you need money, then you get one who will have money, but at the same time will squeeze it, beg for you. He will feel that this is important to you.
You want a handsome guy. He also falls for your beauty. Well, temporarily, while you are still nothing and your neck does not begin to show your biological age.
What you want, they want the same from you. If you can't give it, you're free. Look for someone else. Look for others.
Eg. I want a girl with long legs - a model! Naturally, setting such limits for myself, I don’t notice anyone except such girls, I filter! I filter strictly. Like a capricious boy, I refuse the coolest girls because of my stupid desire to have a model.
My consciousness and subconscious gives my views and feelings a certain reference point - models! And no one except models.
What's happening? I'm missing out on other girls who might be better than all the models combined. I only attract models who think in my own way. That is, those models that also focus on something physical and material.
This is a hard minus.
Morality. If you want a man to pay attention to your inner world, look for a man with a rich inner world.
Principles
They change. Editable. You may have opposing principles.
You don’t have to put it off until tomorrow because you want to get everything done today. And for him, the morning is wiser than the evening, he loves to weigh. But over time this changes.
A man wants a relationship not with someone whose principles coincide, but with someone who accepts his principles. Doesn't break them. Doesn't redo. Doesn't impose his own. Then he accepts her principles and respects them.
Well, there are so-called stupid principles, idiotic ones.
And there are respected, strong principles. Such as - both should win, you need to be honest, follow through, etc. (How to find the principles of life)
This is your support. This is his support. This is your support. On which we can stand together.
Morality. Do you have any principles at all?
Experience
This is a bonus.
Because experience can be gained along with it. He can tell you everything, open up to you.
You will listen to his journey, listen to his life, like a doctor listens to a patient. You will experience and accept his experience. His mistakes. Victories and defeats You will mentally experience them and gain the same experience by empathizing with them.
When a man opens up to a woman, he begins to want a relationship with her...
Morality. Gain experience with a man. Come to something together, achieve something TOGETHER!
Emotionality
Temperamental men love temperamental women.
Calm guys attract calm girls.
People unconsciously check - what are you like without a mask? And often, without noticing it, without controlling yourself, and without thinking about what you are actually doing, you give out some mysterious trick of your own, from which a man loses the power of speech, the gift of hearing and the gift of love.
You are unreasonably jealous.
For no apparent reason you will be offended or freeze him out.
You will insult!
You start to ignore at the moment when ignoring ruins everything. And when you can’t ignore it!
That is, you unconsciously, as it were, test a man with your inappropriate behavior. To which the man twists his finger at his temple and understands that it is better not to have any relationship with such a girl. I’ll fuck her one more time and that’s enough!
Morality. Think with your head!
Inconsistency.
Well, I’ll end with the last point. The ass itself.
Murder of romance.
Don't try to break a person by adjusting them to the standards you were taught. It doesn't matter who taught you. Grandma or divorced friend, magazine or book, TV series or some damn blogger.
No person should be forced to conform to another.
In relationships, in almost every relationship, this always happens. The eternal struggle of inconsistencies. That’s why I sometimes don’t want to join them, I’m telling you this as a man.
Why are you trying to break me? Why do you impose your vision of the world? What difference does it make who came up with all these laws, all these rules of relationships? Well, I don’t want to comply with these rules. It's not worth it for me.
Normal relationships of all couples. You shouldn't do this! You shouldn't look there! You shouldn't go there! You mustn't leave! You don't have to, I don't want to, I'm offended by you. Fuck these rules! To hell with such relationships!
Where's the romance? Why are you ruining her with rules?
All these rules of yours bring not relationships, but torment. Dejection. Suffering.
You are trying to adjust the man to you, so that you are calm, so that you are confident.
You imposed your (your?) rules and then control them, and as soon as you do, you launch into primitive debriefings with your sirens turning on and your eyes bulging out of their sockets!
But these rules always lead to a bare, hairy ass. The format of relations that exist now, although they have not led to the extinction of humanity, have definitely led to eternal suffering and all sorts of dirt. And they killed the romance. Which we will revive!
Morality. Don't change a man to suit you. Don't let him change yourself to suit him. Respect each other!
Conversations
Lovers almost constantly dream about the future, making plans for a wedding and children. A man who refuses to discuss even the next vacation or does not want to think 1-2 years ahead is clearly not going to stay with a woman for a long time. He almost never uses the pronoun “we,” especially when talking about the future.
Often, even family and friends are not included in discussions. A girl who is taken for a month is usually not allowed close to their life. There will be no joint parties or festive dinners. A romantic woman may perceive this as special intimacy; in fact, this is an attempt to protect her own world.
Signs that your man is mentally exhausted, which, if you notice, you can help him
Without plans for a serious relationship, a guy will not discuss his childhood, his favorite hobby, or his loved ones. At the same time, there are even surprisingly sociable and talkative men; they will be able to talk without interruption about the stars, work, hobbies or weather, but they will not touch upon personal topics, although the feeling of good communication will remain.
Male signs of an NOT serious relationship
⚫ It appears and then disappears. Either he is a pick-up artist and is trying to make you fall in love more deeply, or he simply doesn’t like you very much. It can also be a sign of mental instability, which is not very pleasant in any case. I wrote about “lost ones” and what to do with them in this article.
⚫ You rarely see each other and communicate little. Although your work schedules with him allow you to see each other more often. But he just doesn't offer it. And he doesn’t indulge in calls or text messages. Because he doesn't want to. And between meeting friends and a woman choosing friends, there is no place for a woman in all this.
⚫ Doesn’t introduce him to his parents. Of course, maybe he has such gremlins that it’s scary to let living people near them. But most likely, this is not the problem. Why introduce him to his parents if he plans to run away soon?
⚫ Doesn’t say “about us”. Joint plans for the future, trips, shopping, etc. He talks about the future, meaning only himself. He will go there, do this, buy that... You feel that there is him, and there is you, and there is no “us”. Although a man may talk a lot about what wonderful things await you, he may not take steps in this direction. Therefore, remain vigilant.
Male "friend zone"
This category includes men who build their relationship with a woman because it is convenient for them. You may have a good time together, but it won’t lead to a long-term relationship, because he considers the woman his good friend and does not want to break off the relationship forever. After all, if he sees your feelings, it means that you most likely will no longer remain friends. In any case, there will be tension between you.
Such a man simply does not love a woman, but being with her is pleasant and beneficial for him if he does not want a relationship. It is unlikely that he will see the love of his life in her. A woman is unlikely to be impressed by the prospect of remaining in such a “friend zone” where development is not observed.
The only true way out of such a situation is to accept this attitude and not hope that it will change. And from this it follows that it is easier to let go and forget your loved one than to suffer from the fact that he pities you and your feelings. In terms of such relationships, you will not be able to develop. It will be very painful if you have very deep feelings for such a person, but you must understand that the further it goes, the worse.
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