Does it matter what a man calls you?
It is a well-known fact that women love with their ears; for them it is important, pleasant and necessary to hear their name spoken through the lips of their lover. However, ladies are divided into two types: those who attach importance to this problem, and those who have the opposite attitude towards this issue. The first type of women was so concerned with finding the hidden meaning in the use of this or that nickname that psychology took up this task. Social surveys were conducted among representatives of the stronger sex, answering contradictory questions: “why doesn’t he say my name” and “why did the man suddenly start calling me by name?”
Note! Before studying the psychology of the fact that a man does not call a woman by name, it is recommended that the latter point out this misfortune to her partner so that he can explain himself.
In any case, it is worth remembering that there is always a way out. If the problem of using nicknames in a relationship is significant, both partners make efforts to develop new habits. Frequent grievances due to the fact that a guy or husband addresses his partner incorrectly will not turn out to be anything good, given that women do not always admit this. Whether it is important how a guy addresses a girl is up to her to decide. But the lady also chooses the way to react. It is advisable to have an adequate reaction, show patience and wisdom, so that there is a desire to develop relationships based on mutual trust.
If a husband calls his wife mom
If a husband addresses his wife as “Mom” but does not call his wife by name, this is a sign of a scripted relationship. When the hierarchy of relationships in a family is disrupted, children and adults become disoriented, that is, they do not understand their role. A child in such a situation may come to the following thoughts: “Dad is an adult, but he also calls mom mom. He is my brother?". Thus, for the child, a situation arises when there is no elder in the family, who is looked for on the side.
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When a woman begins to respond in kind, calling her husband “dad,” the relationship becomes distorted and becomes scripted. Although this is done unconsciously, based on the best intentions, in such relationships the spouses cease to see each other as real. False ideas about the partner are formed, forcing one to perceive an illusion rather than a person.
It is important to take the position of an adult. People do not get involved in other people’s problems, solving them for others, that is, they do not act from the position of “parent”. Also, adult judgment does not allow you to complain about others, going through the details of someone else’s personal life, that is, from the position of a “child.”
If a man doesn't say the woman's name
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There are a number of reasons that describe a man’s reluctance to call his partner by her name:
- Manipulator, owner. These qualities are invisible at the beginning of an emerging relationship, but over time, a woman who responded to “darling,” “kitten,” “baby” will understand that they call her by name only when there is an unpleasant conversation ahead, and it will sound rude;
- Also, at the beginning of a relationship, many men are convinced that affectionate nicknames are a more suitable option for building strong relationships;
- On the other hand, this is the fact that the partner does not want or is not ready to move to a new stage of the relationship, to get closer, to turn a simple affair into a serious union;
- It also happens that a man subconsciously understands that the relationship that has begun is short-lived, which is why he deliberately “keeps his distance”;
A man keeps his partner at a distance
- An unpleasant option, but there is a possibility that the man is an ordinary womanizer who has several existing relationships, so he does not bother to remember the name of his partner, so as not to get confused;
- Probably the man doesn’t like the “melody” of the woman’s name, maybe he can’t pronounce it;
- One cannot do without associations in the form of former girlfriends or unpleasant namesake acquaintances, which a man cannot call his beloved, so he calls her “dear”, “dear”, etc.
Note! The reasons described above are just assumptions, so before you attribute tyranny or frivolity to your partner, you need to ask why he does not call the woman by name. It happens that he does not see the problem, and the fact that the girl is offended sincerely surprises him.
Why do men call by name?
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Predictions say that the partner has serious intentions, the result of which will be entering into a legal relationship with the chosen one. However, it may also be a matter of ordinary habit, as well as the upbringing of an individual. If a man was raised by parents with a special family structure, the person may not have a living example of affectionate addresses or diminutive nicknames. Moreover, there are families in which discipline is stronger than subordination in the office, when people address each other formally, even as “you.”
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A masculine act, when even in correspondence a guy addresses his partner not “Marina”, but “Sunny” or replaces nicknames with pronouns, we will correct it. If a young man does not call a girl by name, psychology suggests the following:
- First of all, directly describe your feelings about this, even if it causes confusion;
- If this is difficult, then develop a habit through play. If a partner addresses a girl with a diminutive nickname, or even worse, with the words “Listen”, “Come here”, “Hey”, do not respond until he uses the correct option, or jokingly ask “why do you need Hey, u?” I am you, Diana";
- They also arrange a “smooth transition”, instead of a gentle “hare” they say a slightly more strict one using the surname and (or) patronymic - “Alexei Ivanovich, your daughter is calling you,” “Belchonok Viktorovich, I need you in the kitchen.” It is assumed that over time you will want to avoid such treatment and will have to learn to call your beloved by name.
You can laugh at nicknames
Calling each other by last name, first name and patronymic is rather a comic phenomenon that does not have a mocking connotation. Although even this can “stick” stronger than “kitty” and “dove”.
Main reasons
At appointments, psychologists often hear complaints that the husband often does not call his wife by name, but uses some nicknames and gestures to call her or draw attention to himself. Experts say that this problem is relevant for everyone; most men refuse to contact their wives in the traditional way due to one reason or another.
To understand why a guy doesn’t call a girl by name, you need to consider the issue from a psychological point of view. There are standard assumptions to pay attention to:
- The husband copies the attitude of his parents. If it is customary in a family to call each other Zaya or Kotik, but no one remembers their real names, a man develops this attitude on a subconscious level since childhood.
- Psychological barrier. The partner does not want to get close to the woman or let her into his life.
- Unsuccessful previous experience. If a woman’s name is like a guy’s ex-lover, he will choose more affectionate nicknames.
- A man doesn't like the name of his beloved. Such situations also happen. To avoid an uncomfortable situation, the young man completely abstracts himself from it, choosing diminutive nicknames.
- If the woman is not the only one in his life.
There are many reasons why a guy doesn't call a girl by name. It’s stupid to look for a catch all the time. It is normal if your husband continues to address you using the names of animals or calling you the Sun, Beloved. For most modern couples, this attitude is considered acceptable, so it is undesirable to worry and suspect a man once again.
At the beginning of a relationship
When building a relationship with a girl, many guys at the first stages call their companions by name, avoiding affectionate addresses. This is fine. But sometimes there are times when it is difficult for a man to address a girl this way. There are several psychological reasons for this problem:
- It's hard to remember your name.
- Too difficult to pronounce.
- For a person, relationships are temporary.
- The spouse attaches little importance to the name.
- Indifferent to the girl's name.
- He believes that it is easier to call his beloved by cute nicknames.
If the restriction occurs only at the beginning of the relationship, it is too early to sound the alarm. But when you're seriously worried about a situation, just ask your guy why this is happening. You will get an answer if you really care about this person.
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Many people pay increased attention to the problem, but this is wrong. It doesn’t matter how your loved one addresses you: by name or affectionate nickname. The main thing is that care and love are manifested in attitude, understanding, and feelings.
Many years later
After a few years of living together, feelings become stronger, and relationships change a little. A man may simply be tired of his wife's name, so he will want to add some variety to it. This is where Cats, Bunnies, Babies, Marmalades and other nicknames come from.
It’s stupid to think that after years a man stops loving you, loses respect, and therefore selects a standard set of nicknames with which all women can be associated. Psychologists say that sometimes all these words mean much more to a husband than his name. Many girls, when they come to see a psychologist, confirm the fact that after a certain period of family life they even prefer to hear from their beloved Kitty or Sunny. This is where love manifests itself for many.
Psychologist's opinion on the way to approach a woman
When asked why a man does not call a woman by name, the psychologist’s opinion is comforting - perhaps the partner does not understand that such treatment is problematic. The science of man is inclined to believe that a name pronounced in a beloved voice with notes of tenderness has a strong positive impact on a partner, which is why it is so important.
Why doesn't the husband call his wife by name? The opinion of a psychologist answers this, especially if everything was fine before. Most likely, he puts up a so-called barrier that excludes the use of affectionate nicknames, addressing his wife with “listen”, “you know”, etc. The husband withdraws, and the reasons for this should be found out as quickly as possible in order to maintain peace in the family .
Note! The woman herself chooses whether to pay attention to such changes or leave it as is. On the one hand, this may be a signal of an emerging problem, on the other hand - a new unconscious habit.
Calling by name in a beginning or established relationship can have a special meaning. If a man hesitates for a long time to call his beloved by name, he probably does not believe in the relationship. Although it may have something to do with his upbringing. When looking for reasons why a man does not call a woman by name, you should rely on the duration of the relationship, character, habits and even the common interests of the couple.
Why is it important for a person to hear his name?
Psychologists have long drawn attention to the fact that a person’s perception of his name is associated with positive impressions. Hearing it since childhood, he makes an association with his personality. The personal name includes awareness and acceptance of:
- external data;
- level of emotionality;
- intellectual data;
- practical skills and abilities.
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The use of personal address implies special attention to the person, expression of respect, recognition of his value and individuality.
It is important to hear it because:
- it evokes positive associations associated with childhood, maternal love, emotional comfort;
- it confirms attention and respect for one’s personality;
- positive emotions arising in response to an appeal contribute to a positive mood and a trusting attitude towards the interlocutor.
When a guy does not say her name, this may indicate an unconscious manifestation of rejection towards her.