Cheating on a partner puts a couple's relationship at risk. Is it possible to talk about any kind of love at all if he has another? In fact, there are completely different reasons why a loving man cheats. There are many reasons for betrayal, because in every marriage there can be several of them. Let's look at the main reasons for a spouse's infidelity.
You can find out more about how to find out about treason in our article at the following link.
Lack of love in childhood
A man sleeps with someone else because he feels the need to confirm his feelings for him. This leads to a search for comfort in the arms of others. And all because, when he was a little boy, he lacked the attention and love of his parents. Now he has grown up, but there is a hole in his heart that he is trying to fill. And the love of one woman is not enough, proof is not enough for him. Cheating is a way to find missing feelings. In other cases, fear of deep relationships may appear; he needs new emotions, new women.
He's working on his self-esteem4
Millions of men cheat in order to boost their own self-esteem. Even if he is completely satisfied with sex with his wife, the thought of cheating can creep into his head completely unexpectedly.
In a group of men, they often share their erotic fantasies and stories about conquering this or that beauty. Imagine how your husband tells his comrades about his loyalty to his only woman. Often such confessions cause ridicule and surprise among other representatives of the stronger sex.
Perhaps the idea of betrayal was simply persistently imposed on your loved one. He himself would never have taken such a risky step. At the same time, love has not gone away.
Interestingly, sex with multiple partners actually has a positive effect on a man’s attitude towards himself. By his behavior, you will definitely notice that he has become more confident and cooler, and maybe even happier.
To forgive or not to forgive betrayal is the personal choice of every offended woman. It is worth noting that for some, correspondence on social networks is betrayal, others see a terrible manifestation of disrespect in a kiss after an alcoholic party, and still others are afraid to imagine their man in bed with another lady. We are all different, and everyone makes their own decisions about cheating.
Message from the Editor
Let's summarize all of the above. Relationships are truly a lot of work. Building them requires a lot of effort. Otherwise, there is no point in taking on something you don’t plan to put your soul into. And we are trying to help you in this difficult matter. Our team works hard to create comprehensive instructions, give you recommendations, show you examples, and tell you what not to do. Our main goal is to give you new knowledge. And we really hope that we succeed! If you want to learn a lot more about dating and relationships, read us systematically. We always select only burning topics - the information received from us will help you be fully armed!
Midlife crisis 2
For almost all men, this period is accompanied by a tireless desire to prove to everyone and to themselves that they are still capable of much. Often a person has devoted his whole life to work, family, and now there is a feeling that something is missing. Instead of dealing with his problems of unfulfillment and fulfilling his desires, he uses the easiest way to increase self-esteem and raise his emotional level - an affair. A relationship with a younger girl can cheer him up, but only temporarily.
How long has your husband been cheating on you?
The answer to the question of how long your husband has been cheating on you depends on how long ago you began to have suspicions. Women's intuition is such a thing - it often allows you to unmistakably determine that you are no longer the first violin in the family orchestra. And in general, what are these suspicions based on? Are they true?
The husband says that he loves, but he only talks, and with what actions does he back it up? Because you can talk as much as you like - actions speak for a person themselves.
However, if someone else's long hair constantly appears on your husband's clothes, he smells like someone else's perfume, he regularly stays late at work and has generally stopped paying attention to you, but at the same time says that he loves you - most likely it's rubbish and he is still cheating on you with another woman...
Therefore, when the chairman of the board of directors of his company calls your husband on the phone late in the evening, feel free to pick up the phone. The chance that you will talk to your husband's boss is one in a thousand. Most likely, the receiver in a languid female voice will suggest to you that “you tell your old fool that there is an accident at the branch of your company in Tyumen and you urgently need to fly there, and in the meantime go to her.” If by this moment you still had doubts that your husband was cheating on you, they will immediately disappear.
I can imagine with what pleasure you will pick up the hatchet you usually use to cut up chicken and go. To cut up a larger chicken. But it's not worth it. First, they'll put you in jail. Secondly, you will not solve your family problems in this way, but will only aggravate them.
Lack of attention4
When a woman does not find time for her husband because of children, career, or household chores, he feels unimportant and unnecessary, and for a man this is one of the most important needs in life.
Often during pregnancy, a woman begins to prepare for motherhood and is busy only with thoughts about the unborn child, proper nutrition, taking vitamins, restrictions, and forgets about her man. A man cannot understand the reasons for the detachment, since, according to biological laws, he is not able to feel affection before meeting the child. Sometimes sex is limited due to the pregnancy itself for medical reasons or the erroneous belief that such a pleasant activity is dangerous. The man has no choice but to find release elsewhere.
Why does my husband cheat but says he loves me?
There are some males who cunningly twist such a piquant situation around themselves. No longer a bachelor, a person continues to lead an active lifestyle without trying to give up his old habits. How is it possible to hang out until the morning in a club with friends and not become like the homies who picked up young chicks and had a good hang. And it’s not at all weak to boast about the same freedom!
Thus, the husband cheats, but says that he loves madly and this may be true. But why this happens is a “hostage” of circumstances: the guys invited a group of girls to a table, I drank quite a bit, we went to Tolik’s apartment to catch up, and then I remember almost nothing... There will be a hundred similar stories, but the essence is the same and it is extremely unpleasant for the wife , who has already heard a lot from friends about her husband’s adventures to the left.
There are also cunning foxes that run into the neighbor’s chicken coop and quietly do bad things, but if they are caught, they immediately back down. Like, how could you think, I only love you and don’t even look at anyone else around me!
You need to trust your husband, but when he has already “messed up” once, know that he has this type of hero lover. In addition, if he tries to smooth out the situation by saying that he loves you, it means that he is afraid of losing you, disturbing your state of comfort, or is worried about the financial side in the event of a divorce.
How to make a man miss you - simple ways are given in this article.
How can you tell if a loving husband is cheating?8
- Change in appearance - new clothes, hairstyle, perfume. He suddenly began to take care of himself.
- Strange things. By chance, something that was not typical for him was discovered in the car or in his things.
- Smells. If you hear other women's perfume from him.
- Lack of sex. If sex and attention to the girl completely disappeared between the spouses, then it went to some other person.
- Reduce kissing. If there was a tradition of kissing in the family, but now it has disappeared, he forgets to kiss her before leaving home.
- Hides a mobile phone. He carries the gadget with him all the time, sets passwords and gets nervous when calling.
- He avoids hugs under any pretext, sometimes his back hurts, sometimes he has something important to do.
- Absent from home. A man does not spend time with his wife, he is very busy all the time.
- The family budget has decreased significantly. A new woman also requires investment.
- Computer activity. If a man suddenly becomes interested in social networks, maybe this is a way to communicate with his lover.
A Swiss psychologist conducted an experiment in which women were asked: would you choose a man who cheats on you, but thinks about you during sex, or is faithful to you, but imagines another during intercourse. Almost all women chose the first option with the desire that he would think only about them.
After betrayal, it is very difficult to recover and a woman is visited by dual feelings: anger, aggression, disappointment, emptiness. Know that the pain will subside and pass over time. Why does a man cheat?
This does not mean that you are bad, but the relationship has cracked. He did not find in them what he found on the side. Therefore, you need to discuss the reasons for the betrayal and make a joint decision on what to do next. It is possible to seek help from a psychologist.
Why you dream about your husband’s betrayal, you can find out in our article further on the link.
Message from the Editor
Words are the most basic and accessible thing that each of you can give to your loved one. Remember this every time you feel angry, angry, doubtful, or simply worried about your partner. And to minimize the number of discontent and grievances, communicate. Almost any dilemma can be resolved with just a few phrases. There is no point in designing a bicycle again and inventing new technologies on how to restore harmony in your relationship with your partner. Try to talk and discuss problems as needed - this is advice that works in every area of our lives. Love each other and never fight!
Why does my husband start cheating?
When you become nothing more than a victim of severe deception while in a marriage, you want to blame your husband for all earthly sins and blame him for every failure that befalls you. But was everything so smooth in your close relationships? And you should think carefully about this in order to understand why the husband begins to cheat, and at what point the situation began to go down the so-called slope.
Things to consider:
- With the direct participation of the wife, the husband should constantly have a feeling of fullness and self-sufficiency. This happens when after work he wants to quickly come home, where a hearty and tasty dinner awaits him, as well as his beloved wife in a good mood.
- There should in no way be an internal emptiness between husband and wife, which gradually destroys the union. There is no need to restrain yourself in front of each other in communicating and expressing desires, showing love and affection to your partner. After all, what is missing, the husband will soon look for in others.
- Even the quietest and most comfortable family haven sooner or later becomes cloyingly boring. A man will want a hurricane that will sweep through his consciousness and regenerate everything inside. Therefore, let your other half experience something new and never stop there, including working on yourself.
- Be sure to discuss what happens behind the closed doors of your bedroom. But to put it simply, ask the question out loud together: “is everyone happy with sex or would they like something different?” It is quite possible that your husband has secret erotic fantasies that, for some reason, he cannot share with you. There is nothing shameful in asking about THIS directly or presenting a dialogue in the manner of “maybe we should try... for variety and more intense sensations during intimacy.”
- We won’t go into detail about what “chemistry” is between two people, but if, after years, the husband’s sexual desire for his wife disappears, and the gunpowder in the flasks has not yet been half spent, then the bells should be “sounded.” Logically, the spouse’s eye could light up at any time at a short skirt passing by, or it could be anyone, since they were not given monastic vows. Try with all your might to renew your former attraction, using an army of pheromones, including all your charm and using various feminine tricks.
- It happens that a husband, as a true male and hunter, cannot suppress these innate instincts in himself. Then be different, but at the same time one and only for him. Let him periodically conquer you with dashing passion. To do this, well, at least try to find other images or practice role-playing games so that the gray Wolf looks into the forest where Little Red Riding Hood is you.
- If the husband believes that family is all about worries, and it’s much cooler to spend free time with his mistress. In this case, make every effort to radically change his point of view.
- Having children in a marriage, it is important not to deprive your spouse of the proper amount of attention. Of course, don’t give up caring for your child, but you shouldn’t forget that you have a husband and he also wants your attention and care, not only at night.
- Without proper experience, let's say, in bed, or through internal constriction, wives do not know how to properly express their love for their husband in sex. Now there is a lot of freely available information regarding the topic of 18+, to the point that you can sign up for courses to gain knowledge on mastery in bed.
If your legal spouse is a complete egoist and thinks only about himself, then a priori he will do as he wants, flirting with other women without hiding and allowing even something more. The moral here is that you need to get married meaningfully and knowing about all the pros, cons and life position of your boyfriend at that time.
How to find out that your husband needs you - read this article.
