A man is afraid of a serious relationship: why and what to do?

Fear of women

Often men are unable to establish a serious relationship because they are fundamentally phobic of being around a woman.

Everything happens for one reason, which can be divided into factors originating in childhood and adulthood.

Reasons from childhood:

there was an oppressive mother who suppressed her son;
the child was constantly surrounded by hyperprotection, his mother controlled his every step;
the boy had a father who protected him from his mother, who was too strict, which led to the formation of the concept that a woman is a scary and strict creature.

Reasons from adult life:

an unsuccessful relationship with a girl in his youth;
a major phobia is formed after the first sexual failure, if the partner ridiculed what happened;
if a man is repeatedly betrayed, he loses faith in the entire female sex;
reluctance to get involved with girls may be dictated by working in a purely female team, especially if the boss was a woman;
in a situation where the breakup was initiated by a woman who, when leaving, also hit her harder. A man has lost faith in women, especially if there has been infidelity.

Most often, men who are wary of females are perfectionists, naturally intelligent, well-read and calm, with a good education and a high level of intelligence.

There are known types of women who most often frighten men.

They are wary of very beautiful girls, as they consider them to be sluts and bitches.
Authoritarian, strong and aggressive girls, as a rule, frighten with their pressure and excessive masculinity.
Weak men are wary of self-sufficient and confident girls.
The most frightening thing is women who are alone for a long time, but at the same time they have not broken down, they have become independent, self-confident and decisive, with high self-esteem.

A man needs to get rid of the phobias that he has. If you do not deprive him of these fears in his youth, then as he grows up this will be much more difficult to do. In some cases, consultation with a psychologist is sufficient.

Fear of exposure

When a man gets closer to a woman, he may be afraid of being exposed because he needs to reveal fears or feelings. This is especially true if he had difficult, demanding parents who shamed him when he cried or acted like a “weak.” This fear of commitment can also develop when a person is ashamed of their history or family. He may be keeping secrets about relatives who are in mental hospitals, in prison, or simply poor.

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Another version of this fear is associated with the internal feeling of having some terrible disadvantage (for example, shortness, physical defect, or intellectual inferiority). Such a man often says that ideal women do not exist, but he deserves the best, and therefore is in an eternal search.

Who doesn't dare to have a serious relationship?

Womanizers avoid serious relationships

There are types of men who, in almost all cases, will be unable to take a serious step.

A married guy who doesn’t even think about creating a serious connection with his chosen one, he is quite happy with his wife.
Young people who are too young do not look at life seriously at all; they still have the wind in their heads.
Womanizer. For him, relationships are just a game from which he enjoys.
Young people who, in principle, oppose marriage.
Men with high self-esteem who do not want to be responsible for someone.
Unbalanced young people.

If your partner belongs to one of the above categories, then you need to realize that starting a family with him is almost impossible, at least at the moment. Of course, the girl can wait until the situation changes. However, she must understand that she will simply lose years, her youth. It is possible that while waiting, the young man may decide to break up, and she will be left broke. If you love your partner very much and understand that he really has phobias before serious relationships, which manifest themselves on an instinctive or subconscious level, then you can give him a chance, help him overcome his fears; if that doesn’t work, consult a psychologist.

Future plans

When a man is afraid to be in a relationship, he often decides to avoid questions about a future with you. For example, while you may plan a weekend with him several months in the future, he will give you clues that he is not too interested in the idea and cannot commit to a specific date. Men can be frightened by talking about important things, and making specific plans that require decisive action frightens them even more.

When a man doesn't take the next step, it becomes clear that he is too scared to enter into a relationship and make such a serious commitment to you at this time.

What to do if your boyfriend is currently marking time, is afraid to admit his feelings, and cannot decide to take an important step? Do you agree to expect concrete actions from him? Or perhaps it’s worth looking for a more active partner?

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Why are they afraid?

A man may be afraid of a serious relationship for fear of losing his freedom and joining his life with a grumpy woman

A guy who is insecure about his libido may be very worried about this. This is what will scare you when a girl has a desire to live together.
A young man who does not experience paternal instinct at all may be afraid of a serious relationship precisely for this reason.
A guy who knows that his chosen one earns significantly more money will be afraid that if they live together, he will hear reproaches in his direction and ridicule from neighbors. Gigolos will happily agree to such a relationship.
Lack of self-confidence can hinder the desire to start a family.
A guy may be afraid that with the transition to a more serious level of relationship, he will have to introduce his chosen one to her parents, who may underestimate her and want to separate their union.
If a guy loves but is afraid of a relationship, perhaps he is worried about losing his independence, afraid that he will be unable to do everything that now gives him pleasure.
A man who devotes his entire life to work, perhaps a workaholic, worries that the relationship will affect his career.
A polygamous guy is not inclined to have a serious relationship, because he believes that he has not yet had his fill. Typical womanizer.
A young man may really not be ready to bear responsibility for a girl to the extent of his age.
The ex is afraid of the relationship if the breakup was your initiative, which deeply hurt the guy’s heart. Naturally, he is afraid that you will repeat your action again. Moreover, the guy most likely does not create new relationships with anyone for the same reason.
A man who has recently divorced is not ready to start any kind of relationship right away, especially if he still hasn’t let his ex out of his heart.
A guy who lives with his mother is definitely afraid of being left without her. A mama's boy decides to have a serious relationship only with a woman who will take care of him and remind him of his mother.
The fear may be based on a man's belief that all women want to take his wallet and leave. A guy can be scared by the fear of being used.

A man must understand that his purpose is to create a family, to continue his family line. Therefore, it is necessary to fight your fear of a serious relationship. If you can’t cope on your own, don’t be afraid to turn to a psychologist.

Why is a man in love afraid of a woman?

Falling in love is the most powerful emotion a person can experience. The body of a boy or girl in love is in a kind of euphoria, since there is a double production of the hormone of happiness.

Even despite this, the man tries to ignore the feeling of love that has arisen. He is afraid to show his feelings.

What is the reason? Scientists have identified a number of factors that answer the question: why is a man in love afraid of a woman?

The first is
the fear of losing self-control.
When we fall in love, a feeling of flight or weightlessness appears. If love is real and sincere, then a person becomes weak and susceptible to influence. He loses self-control. For young people, such sensations are not genetically characteristic. The man is afraid and feels uncomfortable because he cannot control himself. He is sure that falling in love will not allow him to control himself and his life. Therefore, in the subconscious they reject any manifestations of love for the opposite sex.

The second is fear of loss of independence

Many men equate falling in love with the loss of their own freedom. If your boyfriend does not have serious intentions, then he will keep his feelings under lock and key.

The freedom-loving stronger sex, even if it has feelings for a woman, puts independence first. The man is very afraid of losing his freedom. Therefore, it will hinder the development of love.

Third - fear of getting burned again

Why is a man in love afraid of a woman? The experience of past relationships interferes with new love. Young people do not want to experience pain and grief again. They will try to avoid feelings and not have serious affairs. Relationships can be built solely on intimacy.

Fourth – fear of taking responsibility

A young man in love can look reserved and confident and build relationships with girls. But as soon as conversations about marriage begin, he is afraid and “merges.”

There are representatives of the stronger sex who are not interested in girls as a wife. They do a great job on their own. Cleaning, cooking and washing does not cause much trouble. If you need sex or just the company of a pretty girl, then you don’t have to get married. Such young people quickly find a partner for one or two nights in a cafe or nightclub.

But as soon as the relationship goes too far and the girl begins to behave like a wife, the young man usually announces separation. The thought of marriage and future children brings fear and panic. Such men remain single for a long time or do not start a family at all.

Fifth - fear of becoming defenseless and vulnerable

A person in love experiences emotions that he had never imagined before. A lady can make her partner weak by manipulating feelings. A guy who pretends to be a tough macho man will avoid falling in love with all his might. Such men do not recognize love as a feeling of beauty. Why is a man in love afraid of a woman? He doesn’t want to leave his comfort zone and be weak. But macho men are not immune from the appearance of love and serious feelings. The process is just not that fast for them. They are afraid of it, but they cannot avoid falling in love.

Sixth – financial instability

Lack of money is one of the weak points of men. They are guided by the stereotype that women are attracted only to wealthy young men. But many guys in love themselves love to give gifts and surround the girl with care. Even if you don’t have enough money to take you to an expensive restaurant, you can find affordable ways to charm a lady. A stingy man is afraid to part with his savings because he believes that there is no need for unnecessary spending and prefers loneliness.

Seventh – fear of change

For lovers, life can change dramatically. What was once taboo becomes the norm. All principles of ordinary life are crumbling. But not everyone likes to change. This is why a man in love is afraid of a woman. He simply puts his principles above love. A young man subconsciously wants to fall in love, but is afraid; the fear of change outweighs the scales.

Eighth – fear of not meeting the expectations of a loved one

When you meet someone and become interested in them, you always want to present yourself in the best light. All disadvantages, complexes and bad habits are carefully hidden. A person in love shows only the best qualities, sometimes even going too far. But when the feelings are already serious, you have to open up and become yourself.

Why is a man in love afraid of a woman? He doesn’t want to reveal all his cards for a long time, tell the truth about himself, so as not to lose his beloved. Although there is a category of guys who, in any case, are afraid of openness and do not reveal all their cards. Typically, this behavior is typical for people who are insecure.

Ninth – sexual problems

Problems in the intimate sphere do not arise often. But if they exist, a man in love will avoid intimacy with a woman in every possible way. He may say that they are not suitable for each other or something else. A man is simply afraid to talk about the real reason for the lack of sex. Everything goes well, falling in love, courtship, but in the end the relationship breaks down.

Tenth – fear of failure

Lack of self-confidence or past unsuccessful relationships form the complex - “They will refuse me anyway.” If a young man has feelings for a girl, but does not see reciprocity, then he will not rush to confess his love. He is afraid of being rejected again, and this is a serious psychological problem. A man in every girl potentially sees someone who will not reciprocate. Inner tightness and mistrust of all women prevents us from building love.

Loving and being loved is the most beautiful thing that can happen to a person. But this feeling should be enjoyed, and not experience constant discomfort and uncertainty. Why is a man in love afraid of a woman? He's not ready for a serious relationship yet, so don't rush him. Let him adapt to the new state. Over time it will open up.

Tips for girls

A girl has the power to dispel her partner’s fears

The young lady can hint at her desire. She can say that she has finally met a guy with whom she would like to live together for many years. Then you need to ask the young man what he thinks about this.
A girl can directly express her desire to move to the level of a serious relationship. She should talk about her feelings and desires in a calm atmosphere.
Some young ladies decide to take a drastic step and pose the question head-on, forcing the guy to quickly make a decision or break up. In fact, such behavior can only anger the young man.
A girl must understand that a man will never want to connect his life with his partner if she constantly reproaches him and deprives him of the joy of life. Therefore, it is important to behave correctly, to show the young man that when moving to a serious relationship in his life, nothing will change or worsen.
A girl should not show her weakness or show dissatisfaction with her partner’s indecisiveness. You should not throw tantrums and scandals, and demand that the young man move to a new level of relationship.
A young lady should not get hung up on the desire to start a family; it will be better if she continues to engage in self-development and finds some kind of hobby or hobby.

If a girl sees that her beloved has some fears, she should find the reasons that provoke them and try to rid him of them. The main thing is not to put pressure on your partner, and to be able to support him in difficult times.

Now you know why a man is afraid of relationships. As you can see, there are many reasons that influence this. Therefore, it is important to take a closer look at your partner and try to recognize what exactly is bothering him. Based on the cause of fear, begin your actions. Remember that every young man deserves to be happy by connecting his life with his soulmate.

“Hunter” is not offended by “game”

What happened? The fact is that Peter is a typical “hunter” (and, let’s face it, this behavior is not only typical of men).
“Hunters” are extremely active on the personal front. First of all, they are interested in... the hunt itself. At the conquest stage or in the initial stage of a relationship, the “hunter” is virtually invincible. His typical characteristics are charm, courtesy and extremely low vulnerability. This is what Sonya liked so much about Peter - he was never offended by refusals.

Indeed, “hunters” usually pay little attention to refusals if they see an opportunity to achieve the goal a little later. On the contrary, a small tactical retreat only raises their morale.

"Hunters" can be amazingly patient when it comes to pursuing their target. As a result, the “game” gets the misleading impression that the “hunter” is really serious. In most cases, the “game” does not see that it is just “prey” - “hunters”, as a rule, are good actors and act skillfully.

The story of the relationship between Sonya and Peter is typical: when the hunt is completed, the “hunter” loses interest in it. This usually happens at the moment when the “hunter” feels that the “game” is starting to think seriously about a relationship. Here he gets the feeling “Now you are definitely mine.”

But it happens that such a game continues for many years - for example, if the one whom the “hunter” is courting is himself afraid of affection.