Family conflicts are an integral part of living together. In marriage, people are forced to constantly consider each other's needs, but this is not always easy to learn. Essentially, each partner hopes to gain something by entering into an alliance with the other person. Everyone wants respect, understanding, sincere recognition. However, a harmonious reunion is necessarily preceded by controversial issues. Family conflicts indicate what people themselves need to change and work on.
Causes of conflicts in the family
The causes of family conflicts in most cases lie in the inability to understand each other. People feel the need to protect their own interests. At the same time, everyone wants to be understood and appreciated. We especially need the approval and support of a loved one; we want to remain confident that he will always be there to help in a difficult situation. And if there is a pronounced conflict in the relationship with a partner, there is nowhere to draw protective power from. Many people who are in conflict with their significant other feel as if they have been robbed. They often try to look for the cause of their condition in the behavior of their spouse, but at the same time do nothing to change themselves. This is a big misconception. The reasons for the development of family conflicts may be different.
Financial instability
Unfortunately, not every person has the opportunity to boast of material well-being. For some, money problems are so significant that they have no time to think about anything else. Family conflicts are often formed on the basis of the fact that basic needs are not met. When the need arises to constantly save on everything, partners begin to make claims against each other. Financial instability is a very common cause of conflict in the family. People stop paying due attention to each other, and focus on solving everyday problems. Resolving such conflicts can take a long time. This is because it will be necessary to resolve internal issues related to the distribution of family roles and the assumption of responsibility.
Emotional addiction
It is expressed in the inability to realize one’s own personal value. If there is emotional dependence in a relationship where one spouse is emotionally dependent on the other, then family conflict is inevitable. The reason for this is the fact that a dependent person always has to adapt to circumstances. Such a person is forced to sacrifice something, goes against his own desires. All this cannot but affect the state of mind. Human nature is such that each of us needs to be fully aware of our importance. If this does not happen, all dissatisfaction pours out on the partner. The spouse is the closest person and, in addition, the person from whom we expect support and help.
Sexual dissatisfaction
Physical intimacy is an important component of family life. If for some reason this significant need is not satisfied, conflict arises. When one of the partners feels deprived of attention, a feeling of uselessness and abandonment is formed . Women immediately begin to doubt their external attractiveness, and men tend to immediately begin to reconsider their social achievements. Sexual dissatisfaction does not necessarily indicate a problem such as infidelity, but can sometimes be combined with it. When trust is lost between spouses, intimacy may not bring the expected satisfaction.
Jealousy
Another reason for the formation of family conflicts is jealousy. This is a very common problem that occurs in many couples. People simply don’t notice how much they offend each other with absurd suspicions. In this case, there is always room for a colossal resentment towards the partner. Jealousy arises as a response to an irritant. The conflict can ripen for a long time and not be so pronounced. However, it is worth remembering that there will definitely come a time when all negative emotions will come out.
Rivalry
Often in a union, one of the partners feels professionally unfulfilled, while the other is very successful. Family conflict is formed due to deep internal dissatisfaction. When dreams and desires are not realized on time, many tend to blame their other half. Rivalry in relationships appears when there is a desire to prove something, to go beyond one’s own capabilities. Such a conflict can destroy the warmest relationships and become the basis for the development of coldness and misunderstanding.
Conflicts between spouses: ways to prevent them
Definition 1
A conflict is a clash between two or more parties caused by conflicting interests.
The resolution of marital conflicts depends on whether the spouses can understand each other or not, whether they can resolve conflicts among themselves and give in. In family life you need to be able to compromise, since compromise resolution of conflicts is the most acceptable.
There are several basic tips for relieving tension in the family among spouses, so as not to lead the situation to a conflict:
- actions to narrow the dispute;
- training in managing negative emotions;
- awareness of the impossibility of being right “always and in everything”;
- the ability to make concessions;
- showing kindness and understanding in family relationships;
- inadmissibility of insults and labeling.
Finished works on a similar topic
Course work Possible ways to prevent and resolve marital conflicts 490 ₽ Essay Possible ways to prevent and resolve marital conflicts 270 ₽ Test work Possible ways to prevent and resolve marital conflicts 210 ₽
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Psychologists also recommend not adhering to the position of “Who is to blame,” but looking for an answer to the question: “What should we do?”
Figure 1. Causes of marital conflicts. Author24 - online exchange of student work
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Family conflicts definitely need to be resolved in a timely manner. If you let the situation take its course, it will only get worse over time. It will be very difficult to save the marriage. Resolving family conflicts consists of several components. Let's take a closer look at them.
Understanding the reasons
First, you need to come to an understanding of why the conflict itself arose. In each specific case it is necessary to consider the situation individually. Conflict resolution begins with accepting what is happening at a given moment in time. It is necessary to analyze the origins of the problem very well. Understanding it will allow you in the future not to get hung up on difficulties, but to strive for their resolution. Some people find it difficult to be completely honest with themselves because they immediately start thinking about their own shortcomings. However, this is a necessary and important step in order to be able to fully move forward. It is possible to save a relationship only when the spouses have a great desire to do so.
Compromise solution
In marriage, it is impossible to think only about yourself without caring about the opinion of a loved one. Partnerships mean that people will work together to find a solution and offer their own options for overcoming the crisis. Anyone who is concerned only with their own benefit cannot fully care for a loved one, nor can they show love. Family conflicts often arise seemingly out of nowhere. However, any contradiction always indicates that the spouses did not solve some problem for a long time, hoping that it would go away on its own, without additional efforts. However, this does not happen. Everywhere you need to use certain mental reserves. It is imperative to look for a compromise solution. It will allow you to find mutually beneficial conditions, the observance of which will help achieve balance within the couple.
Refusal of charges
It often happens that marital conflicts develop into open confrontation. In this case, it becomes very difficult to come to any understanding. Close people are sometimes so forgotten that they cease to control the situation. Manipulation, insults, and various tricks are used. This is the wrong approach and does not lead to anything good. To solve the problem, it is imperative to abandon all accusations. You cannot humiliate your partner, because by doing so the person devalues what is happening to him. If you are at least a little more attentive to your spouse, you can change a lot in life.
Prevention of family conflicts
Conflict prevention consists, first of all, in taking great responsibility for what happens within the family, and in revising family values from time to time. It is impossible to improve relationships within a couple if no attempts are made to resolve the difficult situation. What is the prevention of significant contradictions? This is a prevention of the development of adverse consequences in the family. How can this be achieved?
Partner respect
In any union, it is important to take into account the interests of your other half. You can't think only about your own benefit. Empathy helps resolve conflict. It is better to prevent a major contradiction in time than to try in vain to get rid of negative emotions later. When a spouse feels that his opinion is taken into account, he himself begins to make efforts to maintain a good relationship. Mutual acceptance of each other can work wonders and significantly improve family life.
Contribution to family life
Dissatisfaction with your other half can always be prevented if you make the appropriate efforts, acting in the right direction. We are talking not only about the family budget, but also about such important components as the ability to understand each other, the ability to openly express one’s feelings . Any conflict will be overcome if you act on it with love. Each spouse must contribute, thereby maintaining family life in harmony and happiness. Otherwise, we cannot talk about achieving interpersonal unity.
Thus, any conflict between spouses can be resolved if its participants strive to reach a compromise. In marriage, the ability to give in to each other is just as important as the ability to stand up for yourself in a difficult situation. The partners will only need patience and a desire to make the union more harmonious.
Every life situation must be approached individually. There are no two identical solutions that could be applied in each specific case without hesitation. If you are unable to solve a problem related to relationships within a marital union on your own, then family psychologist Irakli Pozharisky will help you sort it out . Seek advice from a specialist!
Family conflicts: conflicts between parents and children - causes and resolution
Conflicts between parents and children are another type of typical family conflicts that arise no less frequently than conflicts between spouses. The main causes of such conflicts are:
- The nature of relationships within the family. Relationships can be harmonious and disharmonious. In a harmonious family, a balance is maintained between the psychological roles of all family members, and a family “We” is formed. In disharmonious families, conflicts between spouses, mental tension, neurotic disorders and chronic anxiety in children are observed.
- Destructive family education. It is characterized by disagreements between spouses on issues of upbringing, inadequacy, inconsistency and contradiction in the upbringing process, prohibitions on any areas of children's life and increased demands on children, as well as condemnations, censures, punishments, and threats.
- Age crises of children. Defined as transitional stages from one stage of child upbringing to another. Here we can note on the part of children irritability, capriciousness, stubbornness, disobedience, conflict with others, mostly with parents. In total, there are several age crises: up to 1 year, 3 years, 6-7 years, 12-14 years and 15-17 years.
- Personal factor. This includes the personality traits of both parents and children. Speaking about parents, we can mention conservatism and stereotypical thinking, adherence to bad habits. If we talk about children, then we can highlight low academic performance, behavioral disorders, inattention to the words of parents, selfishness, self-confidence, arrogance.
We can safely say that conflicts between parents and children are the result of the wrong behavior of both. According to this, such conflicts can be resolved in the following ways.
Firstly, it is necessary to improve the pedagogical culture of parents, which will make it possible to take into account the psychological characteristics and psycho-emotional states of children due to age.
Secondly, families should be organized on collective ideas. It is necessary to find and determine general development prospects, family responsibilities, family traditions, hobbies and interests.
Thirdly, verbal demands must certainly be supported by actions and educational measures, so that parents are always an authority and an example to be followed.
Fourthly, it is required in every possible way to show interest in the inner world of children, to take part in their hobbies, concerns and problems, and also to cultivate their spirituality.
We can summarize everything we have said as follows.
To avoid conflicts in the family, you need to respect not only yourself, but also your loved ones, not accumulate grievances and let as little negativity into your life as possible. Comments should be made gently and tactfully, and problems that arise should be solved together (children, if they do not concern them, should not be involved in them).
You should treat yourself and family members adequately. Remember that you may not always be right. Strive for trust and mutual understanding, be attentive and responsive. Look for common ground, spend leisure time and relax together, engage in family creativity and, most importantly, do not allow the pressure of gray everyday life to paint over the most important thing in your life - love and good relationships with loved ones.
Advice and love, as they say!
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Key words:1Relationships
