Why are we jealous of our partner's friends?

Friends are a special group. These are people you feel comfortable with. Those who accept, encourage, support. But sometimes they cause not only positive emotions. Why can we be jealous of friends and girlfriends, ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, and what causes such feelings?

A confident partner is glad when his chosen one has friends. But if there is a crisis in a couple, and the partner loses self-confidence, the friends of the second partner can become enemies. The reason is envy: I can’t do it with him, but they can do it, easily, without effort.

By the way, in some languages jealousy and envy are denoted by one word.

We are jealous of friends of the same sex as our partner

Usually in such a situation there is no talk of betrayal. People are overcome by other feelings. Can:

worry that we are being neglected;
envy that our partner is having fun and we are bored;
fantasize that something bad is happening;
to be annoyed that being with us is not as interesting as with friends.

Jealousy often indicates cooling in a relationship. A girl is jealous of a guy’s friend: “with him he feels comfortable and sincere, but with me he doesn’t.”

Alienation in love invariably gives off a cold feeling. Realizing that you have not achieved such closeness with your chosen one as his friends, you can get into really difficult experiences.

Adviсe:

do not try to obscure the world with yourself, it will look unnatural;
don’t push yourself too hard, it’s okay to be friends, be friends too;
meet your friends, since you are a couple, let them perceive you as a couple;
add friendship to your relationship, then the issue of jealousy will not arise.

In a good way, a husband and wife should be true friends. If it turned out differently, perhaps jealousy speaks of a dream that did not come true.

People's predisposition to jealousy varies. The life of every couple depends on the personal experience of the partners.

Some have walked up and are ready for life with their families, but others have not. One is an introvert, a lover of solitude, the other is constantly in communication.

Some people adhere to patriarchal ideas, according to which friends should move away after marriage. There are many sayings and popular advice that a friend, especially an unmarried one, is undesirable for communicating with a married woman.

The desire to possess a partner is completely characteristic of limited people. A woman who wants to completely control her husband will certainly lose her husband’s sincerity and openness. Suppression leads to drunkenness, lies, and betrayal.

How to deal with a jealous guy

If a guy is showing these signs, then you need to change the situation and deal with the jealousy before it gets out of control. First of all, you can't do anything about his insecurities. The root of this problem is beyond your reach. There is uncertainty in his mind. Therefore, in order to get rid of jealousy, he needs to start working on himself. However, there are a few things you can do on your part to improve your relationship.

Take his feelings seriously

If he ever has the courage to openly admit the fact of jealousy, then help him solve this problem. For example, if a guy is jealous of his friends, then say that you only love him, and you only have friendly relations with these people. Remind your guy of the reasons why you are with him. This will calm him down a little.

Don't try to flirt with men

Some girls flirt with men, thinking that this will increase the guy's desire to be with them. But in reality, it just means that you don't value your partner's feelings. After all, any relationship needs trust and appreciation. And if you deliberately kindle the fire of mistrust, then of course he will be jealous.

Show love and care

In long-term relationships, couples forget about this, which often leads to jealousy. Therefore, show that you love him and want to be only with him. Spend more time together, take care of him, show care and respect. Show him that he is an important part of your life. Do something special for him often, and never ignore his wishes. Well, if the guy’s jealousy is not so strong and does not affect the relationship, then you should not worry so much. As we said earlier, show more feelings to your partner, be honest and sincere with him. Then your relationship will improve, and his jealousy will not be so strong.

How jealous is your boyfriend?

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Friend of the opposite sex

Online surveys show: 50% of people believe that friendship between a man and a woman is possible. Especially if everyone has an intimate partner.

However, friendships can be unpleasant for their partners and cause jealousy. The situation needs to be discussed. The well-being of a couple requires mutual trust and tranquility. If your loved one is dear to you, communication can be limited.

Jealous means love? Is this true in the relationship between a guy and a girl and how can you understand that jealousy goes beyond the boundaries of common sense.

Why jealousy occurs

Feelings of jealousy almost always accompany relationships between lovers. However, when entering into a relationship with a married woman, the lover knows that she is not free. And if earlier this was not an obstacle to relationships, now it becomes a reason for annoyance and manifests itself as:

a sign of proprietary claims, because each of the representatives of the stronger half is sure that a woman should belong only to him;
a surging male “ego” that provokes irritability. Especially if the friend does not think of leaving her husband and continues to live in marriage;
uncertainty about the seriousness of the relationship and distrust of the partner;
the appearance of a feeling of vulnerability: he hoped that the woman would rush into his arms and forget about everything in the world, incl. and about my husband. But this does not happen, and the growing resentment pushes to thoughts of inferiority, then to jealousy;
fear of losing the object of affection, especially if the lover is very much in love;
lack of confidence that arises when comparing oneself with other men. It leads to low self-esteem, which leads to jealousy.

The lover's jealousy appears mainly towards the woman's husband. He doesn't want to share love. Therefore, he cherishes the hope that he will be chosen after all. If expectations were in vain, he suffers, suffers from jealousy or becomes depressed.

We are jealous of our ex

Reasons for this type of jealousy:

he’s doing well, but I’m not doing so well;
the novel was bright, the feelings were deep;
history has not been completed;
strong emotional fusion.

Many people are not free from nostalgia for past loves. At times it seems to us that life could have turned out more interesting, better.

The main thing in this case is not to withdraw into yourself, not to remain passive, not to live in memories.

Find out why jealousy destroys a person and how to deal with this toxic feeling.

How to get rid of feelings: advice from psychologists

Many couples turn to psychologists with one problem - a feeling of jealousy has appeared in the family, interfering with normal relationships. It is difficult to cope with it on your own, so you should rely on the advice of experts:

Think before you speak. Talking about work and meetings with members of the opposite sex can irritate your significant other. To avoid causing negative feelings once again, filter conversations, control what is said, and monitor your partner’s reaction.
Be positive.
Become confident. People with normal self-esteem will not stoop to the level of those who are jealous. Believe that you are ideal for a partner, go through life only with positive thoughts and then everything will be fine.
Remember that your husband or wife is not your property. Every person needs freedom, personal space. Forget about boundaries, allow each other to meet friends and spend time in different companies. Such relationships will be strong, trusting and faithful.

READ How to make your husband jealous and when it is really necessary

It is difficult to control the negative emotions that arise, but you can make sure that they do not appear. Advice from psychologists will help build strong relationships and families. Everyone is capable of jealousy towards a loved one, but one must observe moderation and not go beyond the limits of permitted behavior.

Is friendship not love?

Research has shown that in couples who have a long history of living together and are satisfied with their relationships, many partners admitted that they enjoy spending time with friends more than with their spouses. It makes you jealous.

In youth and young adulthood, when a person has not yet created his own family, friendship plays a particularly important role. We love friends, they are important to us. If a friend begins to actively communicate with someone, we experience it as a betrayal.

We must admit that inevitably some friends will move away. We are being formed, values are changing. Old friends leave, but sometimes they come back.

Psychologists' opinion

It is impossible to give a single formulation of why jealousy arises. From a psychological point of view, it is a complex process that requires an individual approach to the situation and finding out the reasons.

READ A guy communicates with other girls: reasons and ways to solve the problem

Some partners are jealous of each other due to lack of self-confidence, others are selfish people who will find a reason if only a loved one is nearby. Psychologists say that you can get rid of such a feeling only if you accurately determine its cause. There are the following types of jealousy:

Uncertainty about your partner.
Part of life.
Painful jealousy even without a relationship.
A reason to throw out negative emotions on your partner.

It is difficult to control emotions; they, like a natural disaster, come quickly and unexpectedly. Even if you have complete confidence in your partner, jealous feelings may arise from time to time. The level of its complexity lies only in the frequency of exacerbation. If the wife is jealous occasionally and only when there is a reason, there is no point in talking about psychological disorders. Another situation is when partners regularly experience jealousy towards each other, not allowing them to communicate with the opposite sex even at work.

Jealousy is common to people of all ages. The opinions of psychologists may differ in explaining this phenomenon, but everything agrees that such processes most often appear in people who lack love, attention and care. Childhood psychological trauma also plays a big role here, so specialists take such points into account when prescribing home therapy.

According to statistics, unjustified jealousy occurs more often among couples who live in a civil marriage. The lack of a legal relationship can make women think that their union is temporary and superficial.

Is jealousy always a sign of serious feelings?

The jealousy of his lover towards his husband does not always mean that the fire of love has kindled in his heart. Sometimes he simply seeks to destroy his beloved’s family. But he is in no hurry to marry her after the divorce.

Also, messages of jealousy in a man arise under the influence of the thought that he cannot lay claim to primacy. The guy realizes that the woman only partially belongs to him. He constantly compares himself with his friend’s husband, which also indicates the presence of jealous habits on his part.

If the comparison is not in his favor, self-esteem falls, the man gives in to panic and becomes helpless in the face of circumstances. This means that the person feels inferior. He tries to compensate for the costs of his inferiority complex through a relationship with a married woman.

If the chosen one is alone, he is jealous of her freedom. The negative emotions that arise are associated with the fear of losing the girl; in his opinion, the object of his desire can find a replacement.

Another case of an attack of jealousy is associated with the fact that a young man perceives the family ties of his passion as a manifestation of infidelity. He thinks that he has the right to be jealous of his partner and regards this as treason. Especially in situations if young people met before her marriage.

If the jealousy of a beloved man becomes frequent and groundless, it begins to irritate. A woman should not be scattered, waste strength and energy on worries and worries. All that will come out of this is a frayed nervous system, and perhaps even a breakdown and depression.