What is jealousy?
Jealousy is an aggravated, unpleasant feeling that, like a rotten worm, settles inside the soul. An extremely exhausting and unpleasant phenomenon.
Is it necessary to show emotions in such a matter? Facts are stubborn things. No matter how hard a woman tries, she will not be able to hide her jealousy. This feeling can manifest itself in different ways. When a lady begins to be jealous, streams of “angry lava” begin to accumulate in her, which sooner or later will be able to break out.
On the other hand, jealousy has been compared to a chili pepper . Spice adds piquancy to the dish, and jealousy adds spice to the relationship. If you do not calculate the seasoning, then the “soup” of the family hearth can deteriorate to such an extent that it becomes impossible to eat.
Every woman, tormented by uncertainty, can choose 2 options: show jealousy to a man or silently “stew in her own juice.”
Is it worth causing jealousy?
To inspire a man to take action The longer you are together, the more likely it is that for the next holiday you will be presented with a non-stick frying pan instead of a bottle of your favorite perfume, and after work he will bring home half a black and a loaf instead of burning black roses and champagne. Of course, this is a different level of intimacy, which is valuable and pleasant. But this does not mean at all that from time to time, at least twice a year, you will not want roses, champagne and him again - hot and passionate, and not tired after work. Jealousy is a great way to force a man to look critically at himself, stand up, straighten his shoulders and look at who dared to claim his territory. And if necessary, defend your possessions.
To create drama and fill with emotions Unfortunately, it also happens that we do not know how to enjoy good things. And in order to feel life and be filled with life-giving emotions, we need to swear, make trouble, worry. In a word, experience drama: like in a TV series, movie or theater. Otherwise it's boring and bland. Psychologists say that this is emotional immaturity, which does not lead to anything good.
Do women intentionally make men jealous?
Some do this on purpose , because to start such a game, you need to come up with a script, purchase props and sometimes even hire actors (or at least invent them). And, it would seem, in this case, this game should be controlled: control is a guarantee that we will not play too much and will not exceed acceptable limits. But it often happens that a deliberate game of jealousy ends in either betrayal, or the man leaving, or a big scandal.
You can also unintentionally cause jealousy in different ways. There are women who master the art of doing this subtly and imperceptibly and achieving a positive result - shaking up and turning her husband into a knight. But it is not always possible to respect the boundaries of what is permitted. And not getting what we want, we increase the offensive, and as a result we again enter into war.
Safety precautions
What can you do to prevent jealousy from ruining your relationship? How to control this game and not accidentally offend a man? It depends on the method you choose to play your game.
Love affair at work
How to play? Change your image to a sexier one. Get new makeup. Stay late in the office and come home from work unusually happy. Stop taking lunches from home. Do not always answer his phone calls or speak briefly, citing the fact that you have urgent matters. Laugh from time to time while covering the receiver, creating the “third party effect.”
Positive aspects of female jealousy
This behavior has its advantages, which can only strengthen the union of two loving hearts. If a woman has come to the conclusion that she can no longer remain silent, then she needs to think through her actions. How to explain to a man what is bothering her? How to do this as successfully as possible?
5 proven ways to show jealousy to a man:
- He is jealous, which means he loves . This immutable truth has been preserved since the time of the grandparents of modern youth. Jealousy allows a man to feel like a conqueror and owner. No one will ever like feeling second. A little fire in a man’s eyes and he will be ready to move mountains to prove his love.
- The method is as simple as a cork: you need to shout a little . By showing a man her true feelings, a woman will get rid of internal discomfort. Experts say that it becomes easier because there is a way to throw out evil energy and not keep everything to yourself.
- You can always have a heart-to-heart talk . Construct an evidence base for your arguments in a reasoned and logical manner and provide significant facts confirming that jealousy is justified. After such conversations it becomes easier for everyone. The man is happy that they didn’t snap or yell at him, and the woman is happy because she got rid of jealousy.
- Without a doubt, you have to say no . In what case will a lady be jealous? Only if there is a reason for this. What if the misunderstanding has a pronounced character and is tormented by the unknown? Do you need to dot the T's and find out the detailed circumstances of what happened? When uncertainty gives way to certainty, relief comes. Even if this truth confirms the betrayal of a loved one.
- You must speak quietly . Strange advice? It is perfect for those ladies who want to be heard. No need to yell at your partner. The quieter the interlocutor speaks, the more they listen to the content of the conversation - this is already an officially confirmed theory.
Negative sides of female jealousy
Not all situations require showing jealousy. There are many cases when a lady throws a jealous tantrum out of nowhere. Then the men complain: “She is jealous of me at every post.”
Sooner or later, the chosen one will get tired of the eternal nagging and really leave for another woman.
There is also the other side of the coin, which is responsible for the more reasonable, one might say “cold” part of the female consciousness.
5 disadvantages of female jealousy:
- Under no circumstances should you show your feelings often . This is fraught with outbursts of resentment and sometimes even aggression in men. Most often, daily scandals become a habit among representatives of the stronger sex and they generally stop noticing them. “Oh, it’s started again” - this is what men who are tired of these constant flashpoints of female feelings often think.
- Brevity is the soul of wit . How often does a person get tired of swearing? In this regard, the wife is more resilient and patient than her husband. But the poor man cannot endure a conversation in a raised voice for long. Therefore, when sorting out relationships, you need to try to state your complaints as briefly as possible, especially if they are accompanied by uncontrollable anger or severe hysterics.
- It's better to have a heart-to-heart talk in private . Public expression of feelings will make your life partner feel awkward and ashamed not for himself, but for his lady. He will be uncomfortable in further communication, because the image of a shameful event will be stored in his head. “And this is my wife?” - he will think with horror. Sooner or later, such public scenes end in a break in the relationship.
- There is a way to ignore it . This method entails severe disorder for the female psyche. Its essence is to turn a blind eye to jealousy. You need to push it to the farthest corner of your consciousness and not let it get out. Just don't think about it.
- “As you, so I” is also not a very good way to hide your jealousy from a man. In this case, the lady speaks more of resentment than common sense. The point is that the fair sex will behave exactly the same as her chosen one. Namely, going to restaurants, not answering calls, returning home late and having fun in the company of strangers. This method is an effective method if a woman sees the boundaries of what is permitted, namely, does not cross that forbidden line called treason.
I'm jealous of the guy! Who is guilty?
Ritka is ready to strangle the guy for looking in the wrong direction. And Lenka calmly lets her go for a six-month internship. Why is that?
Jealousy does not appear out of the blue. She also needs to create conditions:
Duration of relationship
Ritka has been dating her one year old, and Lenka lives with her three.
Past experience
The ex-boyfriend cheated on Ritka with her friend. Lenka broke up with her ex on her own initiative: she wanted a family, and he wanted to party. This didn’t suit Lenka.
Family experience
Ritka had Santa Barbara at home. My parents were always sorting things out, my uncle was constantly bringing new girlfriends. The grandfather was quietly proud of his uncle, and the grandmother consoled the next abandoned woman: “This is our woman’s lot.” Ritka absorbed it.
Lenka had a typical scoop at home. From work to home, from home to work. Do you want more? Here's a subbotnik, a biography of Lenin and a dacha for the summer season. A little boring in places, but stable. Lenka also absorbed it.
Settings
Ritka watched “Wild Angel” and “Don’t Be Born Beautiful.” Ritka knows: “Everyone changes. And to everyone." For every Jennifer Aniston, there is an Angelina Jolie who will steal a priceless man.
Lenka looked the same. But I also remembered about the neighbors who, in their 80s, even went to buy bread in pairs. Grandfather, of course, didn’t star in “Ocean’s Friends.” But I regularly bought flowers for my granny. Lenka decided: “It happens in different ways.”
Self-esteem
Ritka was compared to her godmother’s daughter, to classmates, and to second cousins on her grandmother’s side. There was always no chance: one is smarter, the other is more beautiful, the third sorts out the buckwheat more carefully. Ritka remembered: “There is always someone better.”
Ritka was trained with love: “Five? We love you, my dear, come here. Threesome? Sit alone like a fool, who needs you now.” Ritka is used to it: “You have to pull, meet, hold the bar. One C - and that’s it, you’re overboard.”
It remains that way. I gained two kilos, burned the porridge, didn’t look like a porn star, and that’s it. He eats himself: “Now he’ll definitely quit! He’ll find himself something that’s not 52 kg, but 50!”
In Lenka’s life there was also the daughter of her mother’s friend, who succeeded everywhere. Then Lenka grew up, surfed the Internet and learned about psychology. Smart women wrote that Lenka is a cosmic value in itself. Even if she didn't shave her legs. Lenka believed her aunts. I began to treat myself like that – as if I were the most beloved of women. People around me noticed and joined in.
Presence of other important people
Ritka’s mother immediately explained: “You have to hold on to the man.” Ritka argued with her friends if they did not approve of her new boyfriend. She quit her job if the guy didn’t like her staying late. A man is above all!
Lenka loved herself most of all. She also loved to visit her mother for the evening and sit in a coffee shop with her friends. On Tuesdays Lenka has an English speaking club, on Thursdays she takes her nephew to the cinema. When a new guy appeared, he organically fit into this whole whirlwind. Lenka later explained to him that such a routine, habitual meetings had pulled her out of the bottom more than once.
Guy's behavior
Ritkin's guy often works night shifts and doesn't answer the phone while working. Ritka seems to trust her, but I would like to be more reliable...
Lenkin's boyfriend is always in touch for his beloved. Lenka called for the first few months, of course. Then she calmed down.
Names have been changed, coincidences are random. Anyone can be both Ritka and Lenka. The question is what to do about it.
Men's opinion
What does the gentleman himself think at the moment when he realizes that the lady is jealous?
There are three stages of response to female jealousy, characteristic of a male character:
- "This is cool. She loves me and values the relationship, and also values me not only as an interesting person, but also as an alpha.”
- “If she is jealous, then the interest that other women show is real. So I have something that can attract the attention of other females
- "Boring. I'm tired of her jealousy. It's time to move on. Let him find some other object for his constant hysterics.”
It happens that jealousy is like flashes of lightning in the night sky: it illuminates the firmament once and disappears, as if it never existed. Ladies sometimes look for this “storm” for themselves. Why specifically check your loved one’s phone number? Why sniff his jacket or look for red marks on his shirt?
