How to feel confident every day?

Author of the material:

Igor Lyadsky

Geneticist, writer, business coach, Doctor of Philosophy (PhD).

Acquaintances are constantly in a social circle, they are invited somewhere, they know how to express themselves... and you are afraid to even approach the guy and talk. How to feel confident when you are afraid to express emotions and act? If you haven’t felt like the queen of the evening for a long time, you put on a tight dress, and life has become terribly monotonous - don’t panic! A little more and you will not notice how you will become the soul of any company. This article will help raise your self-esteem from the level of “I’m nobody” to “I’m still wow.”

When it becomes difficult to talk to others, and you consider yourself a gray mouse who doesn’t deserve anything, it’s time to work on your self-esteem. How to feel confident if there is no respect for your individuality? Girls complain about “crooked” legs and are afraid to put on a beautiful dress that they have long dreamed of. They say “I’m fat,” even though the scale says 60 kg.

Finally, the complex of being the center of attention makes many hostage to their fears. Forming negative thoughts is the first factor that prevents you from becoming self-confident. A self-sufficient lady will never look in the mirror and say “what a loser I am, I have bad taste in clothes, guys don’t like me.” On the contrary, if she has shortcomings, then she either appreciates them in herself, or sensibly understands - “I need to work on myself, because I can become better.”

Take a self-confidence test

A confident person always keeps the situation under control. He does not have a crisis about the opinions of others, awkward incidents or defeat. One woman may “fall through the ground” when she slips in public, while another woman will stand up proudly and move on.

In society, much attention is paid to the status and image of a person. When you are influenced by others, their opinions can pose a threat to your self-esteem. For this reason, you need to maintain a neutral position - be able to accept criticism and learn from it, but also have your own fundamental views.

Confident behavior is a positive outlook on things that motivates you to be on top. When you work hard for results, you become one step ahead of others. This creates a competition where there is a winner and an outsider. Even when you stand in the place of defeat, it’s not the end of the world and the possibilities to fix everything don’t end there.

Do you see a squeezed, hunched, unkempt woman in the mirror? It's time to think about transformation! Work on your posture, gait, talking in front of a mirror, gestures, and wardrobe. A girl must understand how to look confident so that she is satisfied with herself. First of all, you need to become free from complexes. It is important to work for results for yourself, and not for someone else, because this again obliges you to obey other people’s laws. Freedom of self-expression is the search for your talents and virtues, which can play into your hands for success, whether in your profession or in your personal life.

Smiling is the first thing you need to make a habit of to develop a confident personality. When a person is happy, he is ready to move mountains with his actions and not pay attention to the negative. A depressed person is not able to look at the world sensibly - for her life is like a vicious circle where she is a victim. In addition, when a person smiles, he looks pleasant and attracts attention. It is important not to ignore personal emotions in order to become open, because this helps to analyze your inner world.

If life flows in the “work-home-work” format, it is important to add “cinema-dates (for those who are looking)-shopping-travel-jogging” here. A confident person is filled with enthusiasm for life and does not give up at the first failure or stressful situation. A feeling of insecurity is created when a person has not adapted to society. If you haven't performed in front of a large audience and suddenly you have to go out, you may be speechless. It is best not to get into an awkward situation, but to prevent it.

Using the same example, it is worth introducing yourself in front of an audience. It is important to learn to speak confidently, clearly, slowly, with beautiful gestures in front of the mirror. How to feel confident? Learn to express yourself freely, that is, to speak, act, think without restrictions. If you want to increase your chances of success and become interesting in communication, you should not ignore these tips.

Take the self-doubt test

Train alone.

How to feel confident among the public if you are uptight and have a complex? It is important to train your communication skills, charisma, and behavior in front of the mirror. Why not imagine yourself at the Oscars giving a heartfelt speech or singing karaoke as if you were in a crowded square. Fantasies help you portray yourself in the role that is your standard. Do you want to become a presenter or actress? There is no place here without oratory skills, beautiful gestures, and facial expressions.

Wherever we are, our image works for us. When it is very difficult to communicate with real people, it is best to start with personal training. You can figure out on your own how to speak confidently, how to look interesting, how to sit, how to stand, and many other nuances. A little more and you can conquer any company with your charisma.

Record your pros and cons

Write down on a piece of paper, dividing it into two parts, your strengths (“pros”) and weaknesses (“cons”). Try to have an equal number of pluses or, even better, more than minuses. If you can’t complete the task right away, take your time, think about how long ago you looked inside yourself? Perhaps you just don’t really know what you’re really capable of. This assignment will help you become more clear about your limitations. For example, “I would never jump with a parachute unless there were extreme circumstances,” but “I can cook delicious desserts (or drive a car well),” etc.

Work on your appearance.

Aren't you tired of wearing that old gray puffy sweater, boring cardigan that went out of fashion in the 2000s? And this hairstyle... you don’t need to be obsessed with fashion magazines and style blogs, but occasionally you should be interested in the new products of the season. You don’t have to imitate all the Instagram stars and spend millions on makeup and things.

It is enough to reconsider your basic wardrobe, do not neglect jewelry and accessories. Being well-groomed is always welcome after all. The saying “you meet someone by their clothes” is appropriate here. Appearance forms the first impression of a person. If you are dressed in robes and with a bun on your head, then no one will understand that you are quite an interesting conversationalist and like to draw. Confident behavior is born from the feeling of your image in which you go out into the world.

Take the self-esteem test

Play some sports

If you want to be a 99% confident person, go in for sports.

What could be better than regularly training and observing the changes in your body, noticing the progress of improvement? In this case, when you take off your shirt and see a beautiful muscle definition, your self-esteem grows by leaps and bounds.

The tone from constant exercise gives such a charge of positive energy,

that you will want to share with the whole world. Suppose, if you were previously a notorious boy with bad posture, now you see a handsome handsome man with a confident look and a certain pride in himself and his successes. Sport, according to the athletes themselves, is the first cure for an inferiority complex.

Let's practice communication.

After theory comes practice. You can’t use samples for a long time - soon you’ll have to buy a full-fledged cream. Also in communication - you need to hone your skills on real people, study their behavior, and be able to withstand stress. The more we are immersed in psychology, the freer we feel under any circumstances. Why not call a friend and ask “how are you doing, let’s meet for a cup of coffee?” Or surprise your colleagues and approach them for the first time at lunch and talk about something interesting.

Examples of communication styles

We all use different communication styles. Additionally, one person may exhibit different styles depending on the situation. Our behavior can also be related to a certain situation, or to the place where we are. For example, a person may be better able to control his aggression at home than at work or on the street. Here's one situation with three possible answers. The goal in this situation is to prevent your partner from spending too much money.

Aggressive communication style: “You're an idiot! I can't believe you bought all of this. Why do you need all these things? You were just being selfish."

Passive: “Have you bought those unnecessary things again? Well, okay, so be it.”

Confident communication style : “I would like to know why you bought these things? When can we talk about this?

People who use confident communication try not to get into quarrels and conflicts. Because they understand that this will not help the problem. They do not say offensive words, but try to approach the situation calmly and judiciously. They often use the word “I” in their conversations. In this way, they emphasize self-confidence, but at the same time they can allow the other person to calmly dialogue with them.

Even if you are used to arguing, then try to use the word “I” more often in conversations. For example: “I will continue this discussion when we both agree not to insult each other.” Or: “I understand that you are not ready to talk to me now. I respect your decision and cannot force you. But I want you to know that I am always open to dialogue.” This style of communication shows respect for the person, while at the same time helping you to be more confident when communicating with him.

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Praise and reward yourself.

How to feel confident if you constantly reproach yourself for little things, live in stress and negativity? On the contrary, you need to value your individuality and set yourself up for success. Every morning tell yourself “you are strong, you can do it, you have so much potential”, diligently practice confidence in public and reward yourself by buying a beautiful dress.

You need to love what you do. You can’t force yourself to always be better, stronger, more successful. On the contrary, you need to maintain a balance of interest, without which there will be no desire to pull yourself together and act. One more thing - if they give you compliments, then know how to accept them and thank them. You should not turn on a defensive reaction - you are on the way to a new “I”, so move on to increasing your self-esteem.

How to feel confident everywhere and always: 7 principles

Some people are constantly prone to complexes over all sorts of trifles. They feel insecure in a crowd, at a party, in a new company, with a partner, etc. I want to give some working tips on how to feel confident in any situation.

7 principles of a confident person:

I'm independent!

Dependence on the outside world creates uncertainty in a person. In moments of uncertainty, just remind yourself that you are independent of anyone and nothing, you are absolutely free in your actions, words, feelings, outlook on life! No one has the right to shackle you, limit you (if you do not overstep the bounds of etiquette), laugh at you, etc. If you feel insecure, have a strong complex, or someone is deliberately trying to “hurt” you: Just turn around and leave, you are independent!

I am self sufficient.

The second principle: “I am no better or worse than others, I am who I am.” Be happy with yourself, there are so many people in the world who have the right to be insecure, but they do not despair. How can you feel insecure when you have all the gifts of nature?! It's selfish of you. Look at this guy - this is Nick Vujicic and he has neither legs nor arms, but he has a lot of confidence:

Don't show it.

Another good way to feel confident is to simply learn to hide your insecurities. The fact is that all people experience some emotions: Fear, complexes, melancholy and uncertainty. To one degree or another, we are all vulnerable to our weaknesses. Our task is simply to learn sometimes (not always) to hide our insecurities.

How to hide your insecurities:

Choose a comfortable body position.
Wear comfortable clothes.
Use template phrases.
Practice your facial expressions in front of a mirror.
Learn not to attract attention.

Take a break.

Usually the problem with insecurity lies in the fact that we become fixated on this feeling. It looks like this: “Oh, damn, they looked at me wrong, what does that mean, I don’t look like that, what will they think of me, etc.” – we became fixated, started the process of panic and increased our own sense of insecurity.

Learn the technique of switching attention.

You can go to the restroom for 5 minutes to calm down. Personally, I often listen to my favorite music, it also helps me to be in good shape and feel confident wherever I am. Also try to concentrate on some pleasant memory, or even on an external pleasant object: a flower, sky, tree, beautiful wallpaper, etc. It doesn't matter what you choose for yourself. The goal is to distract yourself and not let feelings of insecurity consume you.

The dog surfs the board very confidently. Be like a dog =)

Work on yourself.

If we delve deeper into why we feel insecure, then most likely the roots of the problem come from personal complexes. Fight your shortcomings! Do you feel insecure because you are overweight? Lose weight! Do you think you are a weakling? Take up boxing! Don't know how to communicate with people? Read books, expand your vocabulary! You see all these self-confident scoundrels, and you think: “Of course, here he (she) is good-looking and rich and everything has been given to him...”. Have you ever thought that perhaps these people achieved this with great difficulty and not in one day.

Look after yourself.

This is probably trivial advice, but it’s worth remembering. You know, to be confident, you don’t have to dress in expensive clothes and drive the coolest car, but just take care of yourself. Make sure that you are clean, that your things are washed, that you smell nice, and so on. It gives you +100 confidence, I guarantee you!

Be yourself.

The last principle is: “Be yourself in any situation.” If you force a football player to play hockey, he will also feel insecure. Stay in your field, with your thoughts and play by your rules. Don't poke your nose into places where you don't know anything, don't say things you're not sure of, don't communicate with people you don't like.

It’s simple, remain yourself no matter what, you don’t need to invent anything, and there are no ideal people at all. Remember this.

Develop physically.

A confident person does not forget to keep his body in good shape. Regular training not only saves you from unnecessary sentimentality on your stomach, but also makes you purposeful. Sport strengthens willpower, which is precisely what is lacking for training socialization skills. Look at yourself in the mirror - in front of you is someone who has every chance of being stunning. It’s so nice to put on a tight dress, do some makeup and go out for a walk. Compliments and admiring glances will not take long to arrive.

Confidence in communication = broad outlook

So, we have looked at a number of exercises and tips that can help become talkative in two cases: when a person is not confident in himself, and when he is not used to thinking, reasoning, or cannot freely express his thoughts. However, confidence in communication is gained not only by the person who can tell or retell something, but by the one who can freely handle various interesting topics. In order to learn how to do this, it is important not only to broaden your horizons, but also to acquire the ability to think quickly and switch quickly.

In order to be able to speak well, I recommend not only reading a lot, thinking a lot, but also listening to the interlocutor in order to join in on time and support any point of view, any conversation.

To learn how to switch quickly, you should practice the ability to quickly express your point of view on different topics. There is a game that can help develop this skill. The game is called “The Smartest”, you may have seen it on TV. In this game, the child is quickly asked questions, and he quickly tries to navigate and answer each of the questions. You can play the same game with one of your friends: let him ask some questions on different topics, and you must answer them quickly. Regular training will give you the opportunity to quickly switch, operate freely with your thoughts, as a result of which you will begin to speak very well and vividly.

So, follow my recommendations and advice, do the above exercises regularly, and very soon you will become a very talkative person.
You can master the art of eloquence and become a master of words by attending our course “Oratory”.

How to Talk to Anyone: Communicate Confidently in Any Situation