How to talk to a girl if she doesn't want to talk?

If suddenly a girl stops answering calls or ignores messages on social networks, many men become overly annoying or, on the contrary, refuse to do anything. Psychologists and pickup artists who specialize in interpersonal relationships are ready to share advice on how to talk to a girl if she doesn’t want to talk.

Men usually spend a lot of time thinking and guessing about what happened and why the girl began to behave this way. Although a sober look at what is happening, an analysis of the relationship with the girl and one’s behavior will be enough to ultimately find the reasons why the chosen one stopped communicating with the man. Knowing the reasons, you can find different options to improve the situation.

Think about why the girl stopped communicating as before

If a man knows firmly and confidently that he is not ready to lose a girl after being ignored by her, he definitely needs to carefully think about the reasons and factors because of which she refuses to communicate. Only by being able to objectively evaluate his actions and words spoken will a man be able to find the true reasons for a girl’s behavior. Most often, if a girl stops communicating as before, the following situations may be the reason for this:

resentment on her part for the man’s inaction and wrong actions;
manipulation to achieve any goals, a kind of game “understand me without words”;
lack of interest and the discovery that the girl’s chosen one began to behave completely differently.

Due to the emotionality and fickleness of the fair sex, many men find it extremely difficult to understand women and their behavior. You need to understand that the decision to refuse communication is not made overnight; often this thought has been brewing in the head for quite a long time. Some girls say directly that they are not happy in a relationship, others are inclined to hint, but not all men manage to understand this in a timely manner.

How to find out the reason for a girl's dissatisfaction

The surest way to find out why your chosen one is playing silent is to ask a direct question. If you can't talk in person or over the phone, you need to send a message or email. In it, psychologists advise expressing your concerns and asking for a meeting. What is important is how exactly to do this. Thoughts are presented in the following order:

observations;
feelings;
needs;
desires.

For example: “After our last meeting, you don’t talk to me, don’t make contact. Your silence hurts me. Perhaps I was wrong about something - tell me exactly where I was wrong. I’m very worried about you and our relationship, I want to meet in person and talk.”

You can talk with her friends or mutual friends - the closest circle is usually aware of what is happening. If you remember at what point the ignoring began, it is easy to determine the starting point in the form of a problem. Psychologists advise analyzing the last 2 weeks, since the chosen one could have accumulated negativity - and some event became the last straw.

What to do if a girl begins to communicate less?

In a situation where a girl does not want to communicate with her boyfriend, a man does not need to put pressure on her with intrusive questions, excitement and conversations. Due to the emotionality of the weaker sex, they need to be given time to calm down, otherwise the situation of being ignored will continue for a long time. During this period of time there will be an opportunity to analyze your behavior, words and actions that could offend the girl.

What to do at the very beginning

If a girl suddenly stops communicating, the man needs to make sure that she has not simply lost interest in him and the desire to have something in common. There are often cases when young people communicate, try to please each other, and after some time they realize that they are completely unsuitable for each other. If feelings and a desire to preserve the relationship are present, you need to take a break to calm down and think about a plan for further action.

Regardless of the stage of the relationship and feelings between partners, all girls love decisive men who are ready to take responsibility for themselves and for her. In addition, you need to remember that initiative is the primordial prerogative of men, so even if she says that you infuriate her, there is no need to fold your arms and remain inactive. Knowing the reasons for the breakup, you need to change by working on improving yourself, eliminating the shortcomings that could push her away.

Expert opinion

Elena Druzhnikova

Sexologist. Family relations expert. Family psychologist.

Many men, due to indecision, embarrassment and various prejudices, do not dare to apologize face to face, preferring to do this through SMS messages or correspondence on the Internet. In fact, virtual communication will not be able to convey the range of emotions that comes from the offender to the offended girl. Yes, and she may consider that the man is not serious about her behavior.

Let's move on to action

Knowing the true reasons why the chosen one began to communicate less or completely refuses to maintain contact, a man can decide on a plan of active action. Even if he does not perceive the man’s misdeeds as something serious, the offended girl must be pleasantly surprised with her actions and well-chosen words. First of all, you need to apologize, doing it in person, face to face.

If a girl communicates little, most likely she is tired of words and needs correct and good actions in her direction. You can win someone over with the help of pleasant surprises, small gifts in the form of flowers, sweets, etc. Only by showing that the man sincerely regrets his wrong behavior, because of which the girl stopped communicating without explanation, and also by promising not to repeat this , you can get another chance at a relationship.

Is it worth worrying right away?

Psychologists name three options when a girl no longer wants to communicate. You need to act depending on the specific case:

The ignoring began immediately after meeting. The lady gave her phone number, but doesn't pick up.
Silence followed after the first date, which the guy might have thought was successful. Women make judgments based on a different rating scale, so opinions about a romantic encounter can differ dramatically.
The couple had a long relationship, but after a quarrel or difficult situation, the beloved does not want to talk.

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The first two options speak of the girl’s indifference. You can try to fix something, but the lady has probably already made her decision. Psychologists advise stopping in time and not pursuing her. It is likely that she does not know how to gently and correctly refuse, so she chose silence as the only way to get rid of an unsuitable candidate. If ignored during a long-term relationship, the guy himself will be able to understand at what point the communication stopped.

What to do if a girl doesn’t want to communicate at all?

There are situations when a man cannot understand how to get a girl to talk if she is silent. By asking her a question about what happened and what is the reason for her silence, she can not give up her position and remain ignored. In this case, you need to maintain composure, not give up, and after waiting for some time, repeat the question. The main thing is to be firm and not to throw accusations and reproaches at her.

In fact, girls are inclined to manipulate this type not in order to provoke a man, but only to attract attention. Therefore, by overreacting with a showdown, quarrels and pressure, a man will only lose his face in her eyes and respect. Only by moving away, minding his own business and self-development, will a man show the girl whom she is losing because of her grievances.

It’s not for nothing that they say that the more a man loves a woman, the less she likes him. But in this matter, the main thing is not to overdo it, so that the chosen one does not consider the relationship completely impossible. To show your feelings, you need to alternate distances with rapprochements in order to rekindle her interest.

What to do if you piss her off?

When wondering how to get a silent girl to talk, a guy may not immediately detect moments of irritation and anger on her part. In this case, you need to talk frankly with the girl about what happened in the relationship that caused negative emotions. Perhaps she began to communicate less banally due to a loss of interest in her partner, who relaxed and began to behave banally.

It’s easy to be interesting to a girl; there are several ways to develop yourself:

playing sports and improving your physical fitness;
reading useful books on self-development;
passion for new activities;
increasing the level of qualifications;
career growth;
achieving new goals and increasing earnings.

Sooner or later, the girl herself will notice such positive changes in a man, realizing that she has lost a worthy man. It is precisely such purposeful and successful men who win recognition, interest and respect among the fairer sex . All that remains is for the man himself to figure out whether he needs a girl, whether he still has the same feelings for her, so as not to give a chance and vain hope without prospects for the future.

Possible reasons for women's silence

Someone else's soul is in the dark, but the inner world of a beloved is generally difficult to comprehend. If she categorically does not want to talk, asking directly about the motives for her behavior will not work. You will have to analyze your own words and actions over the last days of communication. Women tend to exaggerate what is happening, passing everything through the prism of emotions. Sometimes their hopes or dreams don't come true, so they decide to play the silent game. Psychologists have listed the main reasons for ignoring, and the guys just have to compare the proposed options with their situation.

Bad mood

We all have moments when a carelessly spoken word can cause a major scandal. Your beloved does not want to communicate with you at this particular time, so as not to quarrel. Changes in mood are caused by hormonal fluctuations during the menstrual cycle - on such days, a woman can get anything into her head. It’s better to just wait out a difficult period of time so as not to aggravate the situation.

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Life problems

In a trusting relationship, the girl talks about difficulties in studying or conflicts in the family. She can stop communicating if the chosen one did not show attention to the problem - and now her beloved is busy solving it on her own. There is no need to make hasty conclusions, since there are troubles that are difficult to voice even to a loved one. If, in the opinion of a woman, a man cannot help, she will not overload him with unnecessary information.

She was offended

To begin with, psychologists recommend analyzing your own behavior. It is advisable to remember the specific moment when silence occurred. The list of reasons for resentment is impressive, but psychologists have identified the most common ones:

The guy forgot to fulfill his promise or ignored the request of his beloved.
The chosen one pays less attention to the woman.
The man missed an important date in the relationship.

Girls mistakenly think that guys understand hints, so they expect specific actions from them. The gentleman could listen all evening to what earrings the lady saw in the store, but still not understand that she was dreaming of a jewelry gift.

The inability to read veiled information can lead to the woman being offended and no longer wanting to talk.

Jealous

The reason for suspicion is a man's slight flirting or a compliment to another girl. It is useful to remember whether there was a similar situation the day before. Women do not need to receive proof of infidelity - just one word or look from their chosen one is enough. Sometimes jealousy is exaggerated without any real basis. The guy wonders why she is ignoring me if I haven't done anything wrong. And the reason lies in a harmless dialogue with an acquaintance he met in a supermarket.

Lost interest

Communication helps the couple get to know each other better - and at some stage the lady may draw conclusions that are not in favor of the guy. If a man at the beginning of acquaintance tried to try on other people's masks or pretended to be another person, over time the true qualities and character will certainly appear. Women know how to read information on a non-verbal and emotional level, so they quickly recognize a lie - and put the deceiver on the ignore list.

I decided to check

Silence is often used to test a chosen one. The woman pretends that she does not want to communicate - and monitors the man’s behavior. She looks at how exactly the gentleman will seek her favor and how much he strives to be with her. The tactic speaks of the passion’s narcissism and selfishness, since this is not the best and most delicate behavior towards the guy. Either the qualities were instilled in the girl in the family - and they cannot be changed, or one of her friends advised the chosen one to conduct a test in silence.

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Manipulates

Girls live by hints. Instead of voicing a request, they resort to a lot of tricks. If you come across a dull gentleman, the young lady pouts and maintains a vow of silence. To get what you want, ignoring is the most proven and effective tactic, according to women. A man is ready to do anything just to communicate with his beloved girl again. He will agree to the demands, give in so that the chosen one will talk to him again.