How to make peace with a guy if he doesn't want to: 3 simple ways
How to make peace with a guy
How to make peace with a guy if he doesn't want to?
Having had a big fight, it is sometimes difficult to overcome your own emotions and grievances in order to restore the relationship. You don’t want to compromise, because you are right and he is wrong, and quarreling further is also not an option. A lot is important here: who is to blame, how you quarreled, about what, what you said to each other, and so on, but, if you wish, you can resolve any conflict.
How to make peace from a distance
In fact, before I give you step-by-step instructions on how to reconcile with absolutely anyone, I want to tell you something.
Perhaps you have become inspired and have already begun to think through your first actions and steps towards the person with whom you are in a quarrel.
Or maybe you started to get nervous because you remembered that the person is very far from you and there is absolutely no opportunity to meet and talk with him.
Or they added you to the black list, showing you that they no longer want to communicate.
And you may be worried: how to make peace with a person if there is no way to contact him?
I want to reassure you. The techniques I have proposed, which you will become familiar with very soon, do not imply any actions or personal meetings with long conversations and showdowns.
You will influence the situation not physically, but completely mentally. You will change your reality in a soft and harmonious way.
In this case, you do not have to:
- Apologize
- Call and write
- Meet a person or look for him
- Go beyond yourself when offering friendship
- Waiting for steps from a person for decades, hoping...
All the work will be to turn the situation into a positive one through your consciousness.
The conflict will exhaust itself and the person will get in touch with you, reach out to you and offer communication. Or the whole Universe will arrange the events in your life so that the mysterious person smoothly switches to your side, agreeing with you.
That is, in any case, reconciliation will await you, it is inevitable.
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What to do if you have a quarrel
How to make peace with a guy
In order to smooth out the conflict, transfer it to a peaceful channel, forgive each other and forget about it, you need to be able to make peace. If you quarreled because of your fault, there is only one approach - admit your guilt. Just go up, tell him you're sorry, it won't happen again, and hug the guy. As a rule, this is enough. If you're worried that he might be sulking, sarcastic, or teasing you, make excuses in the form of a romantic dinner, a surprise present, or a sudden trip to a beautiful place.
If you quarreled because of him, the situation is more complicated. After all, he may not be aware of his guilt, and attempts to point this out to him will only cause anger and resentment. Therefore, first you need to wait a couple of days: he will collect his thoughts, “replay” the scandal in his head and understand everything himself. If not, use the “heavy artillery” and make him jealous. Then he will definitely make contact. You just need him to notice another man’s attention to you, and not your flirting, otherwise another one will be added to the grievances - the accusation of cheating.
How to make amends
In search of a way to improve relationships when it is their own fault, girls turn to psychologists. In most cases, it is women who initiate conflicts. Experts have selected effective ways to improve relationships with your ex-boyfriend.
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Start a dialogue
Explaining what to do if he does not make contact, psychologists advise the girl to take the first step. She must take the initiative so as not to lose her lover. To do this, you need to think through every word so that the young man makes contact. If he doesn’t want to put up and communicate, it means he:
- Offended. The guy behaves coldly, rudely or boorishly.
- He does this on purpose. The young man is silent and ignores every word of the girl.
- Educates. A man wants to put a woman in her place so that no more conflicts arise.
- Raises your self-esteem. In this case, the guy expects the girl to run after him and apologize.
If a man makes contact, you need to behave with restraint and not show emotions. When meeting, you should not express pity or cry, otherwise the guy will regard such behavior as manipulation.
Sincerely apologize
Sincerity is a woman's main weapon. Guys appreciate this quality, so a girl can take advantage of it. She needs to admit her mistake and apologize to her lover. It is also recommended to discuss the problem. The girl should listen to the guy and offer a compromise. He will appreciate the girl’s actions and forgive her.
If a girl doesn't have the courage to meet in person, she needs to write a message. Correspondence on social networks is a real salvation in such a situation. A proud man may not communicate for a long time. He will wait for the girl to repent and apologize, so SMS is considered an excellent way to improve relationships after a strong quarrel.
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However, many girls do not know how to explain their actions and feelings in text. In this case, it is necessary to take into account the following nuances:
- You should not send a conciliatory message every 5 minutes. The minimum interval for one SMS is 3-4 hours.
- Write a sincere text to show the guy an awareness of guilt. At the same time, you need to abandon the poetic form, otherwise he will not take this step seriously.
- The message should contain the phrases: “Forgive me, I was wrong”, “I admit my guilt, this will not happen again”, “I love you and don’t want to fight”, etc. You need to write it in this way for the best effect .
- Do not overuse sad emoticons and parentheses.
- The message must end with a sentence or question. If the guy is free, you can call him to a meeting and discuss everything.
It is also recommended to flirt a little if the guy is in a good mood. By her actions, the girl must show her own indifference to the situation. As soon as the man cools down, you can send him a message with warm words. This is the best option to build relationships via SMS.
Give a small gift
Every person loves gifts. A quarrel with your lover is an excellent reason for a small surprise. In this case, you need to give the gift that the guy dreams of. It could be a gym membership, a video game, or fancy headphones. The girl will feel like a real fairy who fulfills the wishes of her beloved. The long-awaited gift will be a small step towards reconciliation.
That’s why a present is a great option to apologize and improve relationships.
Prepare a romantic dinner
A romantic evening for two will help restore harmony in your relationship with your beloved man. If the couple lives separately, the girl should invite the young man to her place. At the same time, you cannot talk about dinner, otherwise the surprise will be ruined. Seeing the romantic atmosphere, the guy himself will understand everything. He will appreciate the initiative and efforts of his beloved, as a result of which the partners will be able to make peace.
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Appease him with affection
No guy can resist a woman's affection, especially after a quarrel. The girl needs to take the initiative into her own hands and come up with a plan to get the guy back. He needs to be given as much attention and care as possible so that he cannot resist the charm of his beloved. After 2-3 days, the guy will give up and go to reconciliation with his chosen one.
How to make peace with a guy if he doesn’t want to see you and doesn’t make contact?
But sometimes all of the above actions are not enough. The guy just doesn't want to put up. Perhaps he is not ready. Or maybe he doubts your future together. If the silence continues for several days or weeks, he may decide to leave and end the relationship. It's time to take matters into your own hands.
Plan your outing
A restaurant or visiting friends would be a good place. It will be awkward for you to sort things out in public. You will have to portray a couple in love, who is doing well, and also talk to each other. In most cases, this helps to establish contact.
You may not make up today, but you will definitely talk.
You should not go out to visit your girlfriends, his friends or your parents - this will most likely cause tension and irritation. Going to the theater or cinema is also not entirely successful, because during the performance almost no one sees you, and it is also not necessary to communicate.
Have sex
This is always the best solution, and a quarrel is no exception. Sex brings you closer, improves your mood, and softens you. Start caressing your husband, moving on to assertive movements, try to give rather than receive, show that you care about him, and this will definitely work.
Prepare a tasty treat
The way to a man's heart is through his stomach - no one has canceled this rule. Make his favorite dish or something sweet (guys have such a sweet tooth!), and on top you can write “Sorry” with cream or sauce. He will probably appreciate it and soften.
Methods of reconciliation
In a quarrel, someone will have to take the first step, and if your boyfriend is in no hurry to make peace, then you should meet him halfway yourself.
Plan your outing
Invite your boyfriend to go somewhere together. You should go where it will be interesting for both of you. You should not invite a guy to the opera for reconciliation if he is not a fan of it. It is better to go together to mutual friends who treat both of you equally well. You can visit a restaurant, bowling alley, skating rink. At the same time, try to be in all your glory so that the guy can appreciate who he might lose.
Intimacy
Having sex always brings a couple closer and smoothes out many problems. After the tension is relieved, the cause of quarrels often becomes insignificant.
Did you know? During quarrels, the level of adrenaline increases in the blood, which is also a powerful aphrodisiac. Some partners deliberately provoke a scandal in order to then passionately reconcile, but psychologists consider such tactics dangerous for relationships.
Making love after conflict should not be a permanent sign of reconciliation. It is best used to relieve nervous tension.
Prepare a delicious dish
Show your loved one your culinary talent. Prepare his favorite dish for dinner and create a romantic atmosphere. Light candles, an aroma lamp with a pleasant smell, and turn on music that suits the situation. And, of course, be fully prepared - hairstyle, beautiful clothes, well-groomed appearance.
How to prevent a quarrel in time
It can be difficult for a young girl to learn not to be offended and to calmly treat carelessly spoken words addressed to her. But you should always strive to react normally to different situations. Don't yell at a guy for making fun of you. Sometimes male representatives cannot formulate their thoughts and actually mean something completely different than what you thought. You should also not make hasty conclusions. Often a quarrel occurs due to a conflict situation.
Important! During quarrels, under no circumstances should you offend your partner’s mental and sexual abilities, or the secret habits that he trustingly told you about. You should not say the words: “You are the same as (your father-brother-mother)”, “I’m leaving!”, “You always...”, etc.
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Of course, you cannot accumulate resentment and not discuss controversial issues - this will only aggravate any problem. Situations where opinions differ should be considered separately and carefully. The solution found, acceptable for both, will save time and nerves for both, and will also help to avoid quarrels and squabbles. The conversation about the problem that has arisen should be conducted calmly, without hysteria. Each opinion should be considered and not perceive another point of view as incorrect. In any case, try not to lose your temper and remain calm, and maintain respect for the guy and his opinion. It is important, in the absence of a solution that would suit everyone, not to resort to insults. It’s better to remember the good moments in the relationship and why you were together. Reminding you of the bad and sad moments of your life together is prohibited. In upset feelings, the situation is not perceived quite adequately and you can mistakenly decide to break up. But when the intensity of passions subsides, you have to regret the carelessly spoken words in a fit of anger.
Did you know? Men, according to psychologists, experience quarrels and separations more difficult than women, but they do it in their own way.
What not to do
Protracted quarrels are complicated by the fact that grievances become mutual, accumulate, each partner pushes himself too hard, and in the end it’s not at all clear how to make peace with a guy if he doesn’t want to do it. You can come up with dozens of excuses, but there are things. which cannot be done at all, otherwise the conflict will only intensify:
• do not drag parents and friends into it, do not take out “garbage in public.” This will not only irritate him, but will probably work against your couple if you do make up;
• do not move the “arrows”. Even if he is not an angel either, at the moment of apology you cannot remind him of this;
• promise honestly. If you apologize and say the situation won't happen again, keep your promise. This is a guarantee of trust and understanding on his part.
How to make peace with a guy - advice from a psychologist
When you meet, don’t push for pity and try not to cry (men don’t tolerate women’s tears well, and some consider them a means of manipulation), but it’s also not worth it to act absolutely cold, as if the spat had no effect on you. The main rule on how to make peace with a guy if it’s your own fault is to be extremely sincere. Most likely, if the guy has already come to meet you, then he also wants reconciliation, but under certain conditions. Your task is to determine before the meeting what you are willing to give up and what to change in order to discuss these points from a position of honesty, and not feed him empty promises, after which nothing in the situation will change significantly, but the seriousness of a repeated conflict will be much higher.
I want to make peace with my boyfriend, what should I do? Be prepared that the conversation may not end in reconciliation - respect the feelings and decisions of the other person. Let some time pass, let the situation go, then you can discuss everything again. Although, if after several attempts his decision does not change, you should not be intrusive, stop insisting on your own, calling, invading his life and making attempts to get closer or pestering him with conversations about what happened. If you are also dear to him, then time will pass and he will appear to you, then it’s up to you to decide whether to continue communication, and if not, then no amount of sieges, conversations and promises will change the situation.
It may seem that there are two opposite options when the question arises of how you can make peace with a guy, but keep in mind the postulate that both are to blame for the conflict, it’s just that someone commits an offense, and someone, through their behavior, brings the other to this state . If most of the blame lies with him, but the guy doesn’t want to be the first to admit and make peace, then you will have to take these steps. But first, wait a few days, stop yourself in your thoughts and dramatization of the situation, and give your boyfriend time to cool down.
Next, agree on a time and place to discuss the situation. In the conversation, show maximum attentiveness and respect to your partner, because what is not essential for you may turn out to be the guy’s main life principle, and he will not want to give it up. Listen to what he says, this will help you understand his point of view on the situation, and not assume. Thinking for a person has never brought adequate results - it is better and more informative to ask a direct question. When you tell a guy about your feelings and thoughts, clarify that this applies exclusively to this situation and this moment, avoid such accusing phrases as “you always” and “all the time.”
How to make peace with a guy after a breakup?
Quarrels come in various sizes and durations, and if an important topic was raised in the confrontation, it was impossible for you to hear each other due to overwhelming emotions, then this led to a break in the relationship. After being angry with him and what’s happening for a day or two, a new stage may begin to look for options on how to make peace with a guy after a breakup, but don’t rush.
Before you take a lot of actions to correct what happened, try to change your view of the situation, get distracted, change the situation. You can walk around the city, meet with friends, go to a new establishment or visit an exhibition that has opened. You should not go to places that remind you of your meetings and watch films that will remind you of these relationships - your goal is to distract yourself as much as possible, in order to then understand and compare which life you like better, the one that suits your interests or the one that is shared with you. him. And, based on new internal sensations, it’s worth deciding how to make peace with a guy after a breakup.
If during the break you discovered that you want to continue the relationship, then remember that at first you may be haunted by a million ideas of what to say to the guy in order to make peace. So, you shouldn’t send him messages with all your ideas, call him, come. It is better to spend the break time in communication not on rehearsing a conversation, but on taking care of yourself (visit a massage therapist and hairdresser, stop by for new clothes and see a psychologist) and your own development (sign up for long-term courses and one-day seminars, read, draw). Before your meeting, try to look well-groomed and quite happy with life, because few people will want to continue a relationship with a person who looks pathetic and falls into a love addiction. While you are busy with yourself and not communicating, remain within reach of the guy; if he decides to take the initiative, he should have a thread to communicate with you. The disappearance of a guy from the horizon without a trace will certainly intrigue a guy, but don’t overdo it, because if you change your address, phone number, etc., he won’t find you and will decide that he’s indifferent to you.
Remember yourself, what you were like, what you were interested in, what you were doing at the time he fell in love with you, and try to return to this state. Then you can make an appointment if he has not yet cooled down and has not invited you to clarify the relationship. When planning a meeting, analyze the reasons that, from your point of view, caused the conflict and decide for yourself what exactly you can change or do for a peaceful outcome. Try to choose the right words that reflect your experience and its importance in your life.
How to make peace with a guy if it’s your own fault? Your initial task will be to let your boyfriend know that you have realized the mistakes you have made and intend to make efforts to correct them. And remember, if the disagreement has reached the point of breaking the relationship, then simply apologizing will not be enough; you will have to restore lost trust in small steps. It is important to replace short messages with an extended version - an email; if there is a long period of absence of communication, a meeting will be more relevant than a telephone conversation.
How to make peace with your ex-boyfriend is a more difficult task than resolving a quarrel that did not lead to separation, and will require judicious and careful actions from you, maximum endurance and attention. It’s better to start communicating with neutral, emotionally unimportant topics; somewhere in between you can find out if he already has a new relationship. If communicating directly is still scary, then messages on social networks will help you out. And writing is not as scary as meeting in person, and there is an opportunity to think through the answer, and he won’t notice your trembling hands. And then, if he is free and continues to maintain a dialogue with you, then let him know that you are sorry, tell him how much you miss him, you can even offer to meet. Just don’t expect that by agreeing to this meeting, he agreed to resume the relationship, just spend time together, communicate, listen to yourself, have a good time.
The main reasons for quarrels
You can minimize the number of scandals if you analyze their most common causes and try to eliminate them from your relationship. Apart from clashes based on different psychologies - male and female, this is what else you can quarrel about.
Reason 1. Because of jealousy
It is quite natural that young girls and boys assert themselves through relationships with the opposite sex, and easily engage in flirting and non-binding communication. But in a couple, even a slight smile from a friend can cause a real hysterical attack in the girl. Young people can also be jealous, but they don’t always show it because they don’t want to appear weak.
If constant quarrels occur precisely for this reason, sit down and talk openly about joint claims. Agree on what is acceptable in your relationship and what is not: whether the two of you can have friends of the opposite sex and how closely you can interact with them. If you do not reach consensus, conflicts cannot be avoided.
Reason 2. Because of leadership
A typical situation is when a quarrel between a guy and a girl arises because both are incorrigible leaders. Everyone wants to prove that his opinion is important, that he is worthy to be the main one in a couple, to command, to make decisions. At a young age there are a lot of ambitions, but there is not enough life wisdom to learn to give in to each other. Hence the constant conflicts.
What to do? If you once again quarreled because he himself is planning where, with whom and what you will go, regardless of your opinion, be wiser. He is, after all, a leader by his masculine nature, and this is what society has demanded from time immemorial, despite the prevailing feminism in recent times. Give him the reins, but with a few caveats. Immediately indicate what is unacceptable for you (for example, not wearing trousers - if this is your style, you should not refuse it). And agree that once or twice a week you choose where and how to spend your time.
When agreeing to such concessions, watch the guy’s behavior: won’t his leadership become tyranny in the future? Is he ready to at least sometimes listen to your opinion, especially if it is sound? If not, think about what awaits you in family life.
Reason 3. Because of his inattention
The most common pseudo-cause of quarrels in young couples. The girl begins to feel that the guy doesn’t pay enough attention to her: he rarely gives flowers and gifts, doesn’t give compliments, doesn’t invite her to the movies or cafes, doesn’t write or call first. In 90% of cases, they simply wind themselves up out of nowhere, and the young man may not even be aware of it.
What to do? Openly ask the guy why he doesn’t give gifts (elementary - there’s no money, or maybe he’s saving up for you to travel together?), why he doesn’t give compliments (perhaps his burning gaze is more eloquent than them), etc. Believe me, he probably has there are explanations, just talk about it openly. And also, do not forget that a man by nature is a hunter and conqueror. Never give him the feeling that you are completely in his power, and then this problem will be resolved.
Of course, the reasons for quarrels between a girl and a guy are more multifaceted and extensive, but these three are the main ones. If you remove these stumbling blocks, the rest will be much easier to deal with. And remember, it’s better for you to take control of the situation, since women are more flexible and mobile psychologically.
An example from life. The girl had a big quarrel with the guy because during the month of their relationship he almost never wrote messages to her, but called only on business or to arrange a meeting. Among modern couples, the exchange of SMS, messages in instant messengers and social networks has long become part of romantic relationships. And Masha suffered greatly because Misha ignored love correspondence. When all this boiled over in her, she expressed complaints that he did not understand. What was more important for him was that he constantly gave expensive gifts, took them to interesting places, and they spent a lot of time together. And all this month he did not even suspect that his girlfriend was oppressed by such a problem.
But he didn’t write SMS because he was not accustomed to such communication, he didn’t even have accounts on social networks (special principles regarding the privacy of personal data), and he was as busy as possible at work. He tried to devote all his free time to the girl, but she missed the basic “Good morning” and “Good night” from him.
Conclusion: do not accumulate complaints within yourself, always openly express what does not suit you in a relationship, but in an affectionate and good-natured tone, without shouting or stress.
How to make peace with a guy if he doesn't make contact?
A guy may refuse contact with you, and there may be several reasons for this - either he does it on purpose, to take revenge or for educational purposes, or the quarrel preceding the separation was only a reason to break off an intolerable relationship, or his self-esteem is inflated. If this is the first case, then he will not be able to remain silent for a long time, since the person himself is afraid of losing you and will be careful not to overdo it with ignoring, which will lead to a real separation. Well, if this is the second option, then you do not need to call him and take any steps, this will not bring success, but you can easily run into rudeness and words that hurt your soul.
In the case when a guy shows indifference due to the fact that he doesn’t have enough apologies, it’s worth thinking about further relationships with such a person. There is a high probability that you will continue to jump around him, coming up with new ways to make peace with the guy and please, while he will begin to behave more and more rudely and wipe his feet on you.
Just as both are always to blame for the beginning and cause of a quarrel, so in reconciliation steps must be taken towards each other on both sides. If he passes by you, pretending that he doesn’t recognize you, humiliates and ridicules you in front of people - stop imposing, the person is not looking for ways to save the relationship. Perhaps when you let him be alone, he will begin to be interested in you again, in which case you should be careful and try to find out the motives for this behavior. Perhaps he really realized what a treasure he lost because of his obstinacy, or perhaps he simply needs someone who will constantly run after him and make any desire come true - this greatly increases his self-esteem.
But if you are sure that he is dear to you and you need this relationship, then you should decide how you can make peace with the guy if he does not want to interact. Initially, give him a few days when you don’t remind him of your existence at all - this will give his emotions a chance to cool down, analyze the situation, and perhaps the resentment will go away. If, after some time has passed when you have not communicated, he does not answer your calls and SMS, which he most likely deletes without opening, then the best option would be to write him an email. Experience shows that for some reason men read emails, unlike text messages and messages on social networks. The requirements for the letter are quite simple - it should be a maximum of one page and carry a personal meaning. The Internet is filled with templates and examples of conciliatory letters, but no one will be pleased to receive an impersonal message. Try to use the most understandable phrases and short sentences, and end the letter itself with a question sentence, which will encourage him to continue the dialogue.
