Letting go does not mean forgetting
The ability to let go of people, things, problems and obsessive thoughts in a timely manner is a vital skill for the psyche. After all, when we cling to someone or something with a death grip, we automatically stop developing. In addition, this position almost always brings us tension and pain. Try to clench your fists really, really hard and smile at the same time. It doesn't work out very well, right?
If you want to analyze more deeply the reason for breaking up with a man, read our article “Why did he stop loving me” >>>
You need to let your man go, regardless of whether you broke up with him or are on a break in the relationship. Letting go does not mean forgetting! Oddly enough, you can only get your man back when you completely let him go. In this case, letting go means removing the energetic attachment. Binding is an energy channel of communication between you and your chosen one. But the trouble is that it is one-sided. Thinking about a man, dreaming of intimacy with him, you give tons of your energy without receiving anything in return. This is where exhaustion, anxiety and apathy come from. There is no strength left for myself anymore. You simply ignore all personal desires and needs.
And this affects your appearance, what you wear. Moreover, how you show yourself in communication with others. An eternally sad face only evokes pity and a desire to stay away from you. For men, such a woman is very unattractive.
How to get a man back after a breakup?
In fact, there are several moves that will nurture a man's ego, which will automatically make you more attractive in his eyes.
But keep in mind that these moves are often far from sincerity, so it’s important not to overdo it. Basically, you need to make him feel like a knight. Knights always:
- witty and charming;
- interesting in communication;
- physically strong;
- brave;
- they can do everything;
- they decide everything.
The details depend on your feminine ingenuity. If you allow him to understand that for you he really is the God of the Screwdriver and Wrench or the Genius of Computer Reinstallation, it is quite possible that he will be interested in renewing communication with you - he likes to be appreciated. But don't overdo it. And know when to stop everything. Is it possible to return a husband to the family after a divorce?
Is it possible to return it and how to do it?
Here's what psychologists advise on how to get a guy back after a breakup. Here are the most basic of them:
- Take a break
. You should not take steps in a state of resentment and anger until the situation is clear. It’s better to pause for a while and not cross paths with your ex-boyfriend. This will help not only to take time to understand the situation on your own, but also to think through the steps to action. Reason and information will tell you how to act in this situation. - Find out as much information as possible about him
, but don’t pretend that you “know everything.” This will help you find the reason why you broke up but don't want to talk about it and take various steps to achieve the goal. Only by coldly analyzing what you heard and saw will you know how to get the guy you love back. Usually, guys rarely talk directly about the true reason for the breakup, for fear of offending or receiving hysteria or intrigue in response. - Don't impose
. You need to not impose yourself, don’t talk about the relationship with him and try to be as positive as possible, but natural. The girl must be superior to his “former” passion so that he understands who he has lost. However, to do this you need to know his characteristics, character and what pleases him. Then the result will be as it should be. It is advisable to unobtrusively get into the company of his friends and show off your strengths. But the result depends on understanding the reason for the separation and correcting your shortcomings. - Consider individuality
. One needs a constant girl, the other needs a bright and flighty one. Maybe nothing will work out with a guy who values only beauty and girls for him become only an addition to entertainment. In this situation, you should not consult with friends and relatives - you need to understand the relationship yourself in order to know how to improve it.
How to get a guy back if he doesn't want a relationship
Girls don't value what they have. Sometimes a relationship with a guy gradually deteriorates, and the woman tries to pretend that everything is fine. In most cases, the result is disastrous - the man’s feelings disappear and he leaves. There are many reasons why unions break up. If the guy doesn't want to continue the relationship, there are two options. The first involves desperate attempts to return, and the second - to forget.
I will consider a situation where a girl has feelings and does not intend to come to terms with the loss. I think these useful tips will help change your life:
- First, let him go. By breaking up wisely without threats, hysterics and scandals, you will increase the likelihood of returning. With worthy behavior you will sow doubts in a man’s heart.
- There is no guarantee that the seed will germinate, but it is a step towards the goal. Show the guy that his leaving hurts, but you are trying to come to terms with what is happening.
- Wait it out. During this period, do not communicate or meet with your ex-boyfriend. Devote your free time to reflection, realizing your mistakes, and creating an action plan for the return of your lover. Do not visit establishments where the likelihood of your loved one appearing is high.
- Personal life should come first. Continue to live and pretend that everything is fine. Don’t lock yourself in four walls, communicate, get to know each other, and hide your torment.
- Ask your ex for help. For example, with a netbook that refuses to work. Do not break the equipment, but remove the program or erase the file. The main thing is that the man agrees to fix the computer. You will have the opportunity to chat and invite them for a cup of coffee.
Having established friendly relations, continue the rapprochement, which sooner or later will end either in a renewed relationship or a complete separation. Hope for the best and move towards your goal.
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Unfortunately, people break up quite often. There are a great many reasons for this: betrayal, fatigue, quarrels, coldness in relationships, and, as some like to say, “they don’t get along.” It would seem that when you break up with a guy, there can be no doubt about the correctness of your decision. It may seem to you that you have fallen out of love, fallen in love with someone else, or simply want a new life.
But what if after a while you realize that you want to return him, that he is “the one,” “the one for life.” There is no point in comparing tactics for bringing back a guy who left on his own with our situation. They are different. Each case is individual. It all depends on the reason why you broke up? But there are general rules that you should follow to get your guy back if you dumped him yourself.
“Come back to me, my love!”
Still, there is some similarity with the tactics of getting a guy back if he dumped you. Prayers, requests, pity and pressure will not help either here or here. It is a mistake to believe that the phrases: “Come back to me, I can’t live without you” and “If you don’t come back, I’ll do something to myself” will correct the situation. This will only push him away, no matter how much the guy loves you.
This rule also applies if you have changed. Compassionate phrases like “this won’t happen again, I beg you, forgive me” will not help matters. Let's better pull ourselves together and start taking action.
"The wind of change"
As we have already agreed, the usual “I’m sorry”, as well as “I won’t do this again, I love you” are unconvincing. In this case, drastic changes are needed. It’s important to work hard on your attitude towards life, your boyfriend and yourself in general. Change your appearance, go to the hairdresser, start learning something new. You must discard as much as possible all the negativity from the past. If, for example, your aggressiveness led to the separation, then you should change your character, learn to be calmer and more restrained. The guy will not return to you to experience your anger and temper once again.
"Time cures"
Parting with a loved one, one way or another, leaves traces. Your boyfriend has an unpleasant aftertaste in his soul, anger, maybe sadness. Even if he is still madly in love with you, it takes time and a considerable amount of effort in order to return the person.
Before continuing reading, we recommend watching the following video:
Having changed yourself externally and internally, write a letter to your loved one. Tell him that you have changed a lot lately. Your breakup changed a lot in your life and made you think and change. Thank the guy, it was a good lesson for you. Do not touch on the topic of relationships and their possible further rehabilitation. Give the young man time to think.
"Help from a Friend"
In such a situation, you can ask your mutual friend for help. Let him or her tell your boyfriend how much you have changed. You just need to do this carefully and unobtrusively, “as the conversation progresses.” You can start like this: “You know, they recently told me about Tanya, it turns out that a lot has changed in her...”. And then you can come up with a story that would clearly show what has changed in you.
Let’s say you helped a person, but before you were selfish, or you reacted calmly to an argument, but before you would have smashed everyone who contradicted you. The examples are, of course, conditional. It all depends on the reason for the breakup and your behavior. If this doesn’t help, and the guy won’t meet you, you can throw a party or run into him by chance, for example in a store.
Where does he often go? Where does he go? Try to “accidentally” meet him in those places. The main thing is that it doesn’t look like “I’m waiting for you at the entrance.” Again, enlist the help of a friend, organize a joint party where both of you will be invited. In a relaxed atmosphere, it will be easier for you to start communicating. The main thing is, don’t put pressure on the guy, don’t always raise the question of starting to date again. First of all, you need to show him that you have become different and the problems that led to the separation no longer exist and will not exist. Then the man himself will reach out to you and look for a meeting.
Situations are different. You could leave a guy, and he, to spite you, started dating someone else. In this case, returning it will be a little more difficult. Or he no longer wants a relationship after breaking up, being angry and offended by you. Do not panic and despair, reproaching yourself for a rash step. Everything in this life can be fixed, the main thing is to know how!? I suggest you pay attention to our advice: “How to get a man back if he has someone else?” and “How to get back into a relationship with a guy after a breakup?”
