Parting with a loved one is most often difficult to experience. After a breakup, there is a periodic desire to get your ex-boyfriend back. But as you know, it is impossible to mend a broken cup. Therefore, when you leave, leave, forget the man you love unrequitedly, start a new life. No other way.
- Breaking up a long-term relationship
Breaking up with a man is a whirlwind of emotions
Every woman is created for love, no matter how banal it may sound. Attachment and intimacy are a kind of love chemistry of the brain that affects the entire body. Therefore, parting and the realization that you love unrequitedly is severe stress, accompanied by pain and anxiety.
When a relationship ends with a guy you love unrequitedly, you begin to experience a number of unpleasant emotions.
- Shock. The body becomes imbalanced. The absence of a beloved man nearby provokes anxiety and dissatisfaction. There is a reluctance to believe in what is happening, and orientation in reality is lost. There are no prospects, no way out of the current situation. There is a desire to return the man you love.
- Anxiety. A lack of positive emotions provokes a violation of emotional balance. A woman begins to experience a whole complex of fears and anxieties, driving herself into a dark corner. There is a fear of being left alone, of losing significance, the meaning of life without the guy she loves.
- Pain. The secondary somatosensory cortex, which is responsible for the occurrence of physical sensations, is activated. A broken heart and a broken leg affect the same areas of the brain. Therefore, the pain of breaking up with a man you love unrequitedly is real. Many girls begin to experience physical discomfort.
- Feeling guilty. Every action is conditioned by something. The girl is trying to find the reason. As a rule, initially in oneself. The search for flaws in one’s own appearance and character begins. As a result, feelings of inferiority may arise.
- Anger, resentment. The girl gradually realizes that she is not to blame. The guy you love unrequitedly acted meanly, humiliated, hurt your feelings. The blame is shifted onto the shoulders of the ex. Now I don’t like the man, but cause anger and aggression.
- Apathy, depression. A state of hopelessness. The girl loses the meaning of life without a man, sees no prospects, continues to love, and is incredibly bored. Anxious thoughts arise. The understanding that it is impossible to change anything flows into an unwillingness to live.
Stress from a breakup can lead to risky behavior. Some, trying to forget their ex-man, rush to extremes - alcohol, drugs. This increases the risk of accidents with serious consequences or death.
Psychologist's answer: why can't you forget your ex?
It's been a long time since you broke up with your ex, but you can't forget him? Have you even started dating another guy, but still your thoughts keep returning to your ex? Let's try to understand the reasons for this situation:
- You blame yourself for something. Perhaps you believe that you made many mistakes in your previous relationships, which led to their final end. You have a lot of fears in your current relationship and you are afraid of repeating the same mistakes. You also have a lot of unsaid things in previous relationships. Therefore, you need to analyze the situation and write down all your experiences on a piece of paper. If the situation allows, then you can meet with your ex and have a heart-to-heart talk. Ask him the questions that are bothering you so much. And if this is not possible, then just understand that all people are different: one did not like it, while another may be delighted with the same thing.
- Take a closer look at your current relationships. There is clearly something that doesn’t suit you about them if your thoughts constantly return to the past. Analyze them: what do you lack in them, what irritates you. Tell your partner honestly about this and try to find a compromise.
- Intimate life. If you had a passionate and intense intimate life with your previous partner, but it’s somehow boring with your current partner, then this could be the reason. You remember the partner who brought you more pleasure. Therefore, add variety to your intimate life with your partner, discuss your intimate moments together and share your preferences.
- Stop comparing your ex-partners. All people are completely different, that’s how this world works, that’s the point. Don't live in the past. Work on your current relationships and develop them.
You need to live only for today's moment, your present. Find the advantages and positive aspects in your relationship, there are actually a lot of them. And remember, what we focus on is what increases. So let's notice more good things.
Phases of experiencing relationship loss
According to the American psychiatrist E. Kübler-Ross, no matter what emotions and experiences overcome the girl, she is destined to go through five stages of rehabilitation after a breakup in order to completely forget. A girl can experience similar emotions with initially unrequited love. Whether you like it or not, for full healing after a breakup you need to go through all the stages; you can’t skip through any of them. But everyone has the power to speed up the process.
- Negation. Lack of desire to perceive reality, to take parting with the man you love seriously. The hope is that the guy will return, everything will return to normal.
- Expression of feelings. A storm of emotions overcomes. Anger, pain, fear, despair. Giving free rein to your feelings means speeding up the healing process after a breakup. Don't be afraid. Emotions are a detector of your state of mind; they help you forget the man you love.
- Dialogue, bargaining. Relationship scenarios are scrolled through, excluding separation. The girl figures out how to bring back, and not forget, the man she loves unrequitedly. He is trying to make a deal with his conscience, with his self-esteem.
- Depression. It comes with full awareness that the breakup has happened, the ex has left forever. After a breakup, there is a feeling of despair - how to live on, is there any meaning.
- Adoption. The girl gradually begins to realize that her ex-man should be forgotten. Life goes on. Bright thoughts replace dark ones, the world around us again plays with bright colors.
Each girl goes through the healing journey in her own way. How long each phase will last depends on the duration of the relationship, the degree of emotional attachment, and the reason for the breakup. When trying to forget the man you love, both a smooth and abrupt transition from one stage to another is possible. Sometimes, after completing a stage, you can return to the previous one.
Why do we suffer when relationships end?
The loss of relationships is experienced not only by those who have experienced betrayal and betrayal. If the romantic relationship has been going on for a long time, then this situation will be stressful for both parties.
READ How men experience breakups: what happens to them and how to get through a difficult period
Psychology regards a couple as a dynamic balance of two characters. Moreover, over time, one of the partners begins to need the other more than the other begins to need him. In some cases, there is a strong dependence on the opinion and mood of the second person. This leads to a state of severe imbalance in the relationship, and it begins to move towards a break.
Both parties suffer during separation, but for different reasons. Abandoned because he lost his love and the person who was dear to him. And the one who abandoned - due to a sense of responsibility and guilt before the one whom he left.
Tips from psychology on how to forget your ex-boyfriend or unrequited love
Life after a breakup is full of tough challenges. It takes some time to recover. Psychology tips will help you forget the guy you love unrequitedly.
Techniques
Psychologists have developed effective techniques. They will tell you how to forget a guy as quickly as possible.
- Keeping a diary. You need to learn to realistically assess the situation with the man you love unrequitedly, and to be honest with yourself. Transfer all your experiences and thoughts onto paper. Then analyze what you have written, focusing on the facts. Don’t forget how much you want to forget the guy.
- Temporary ban on romance. After a breakup, love lyrics from movies, songs, and TV shows can upset, hurt, and cause a new wave of experiences and memories about the guy.
- Minimizing contact with your ex-man. Any communication can be traumatic.
- Sincere conversation. Human needs human. Simple advice - find someone who will listen, understand, support, and not judge. Talking through your own anxieties and experiences helps you heal and forget the man you like.
- Self-hypnosis. Quite a strong move. Compliment yourself regularly. Prove that you need to forget as soon as possible. Convince yourself that a relationship with your ex is inadvisable. Adopt the motto: everything that happens is for the better.
- Good sleep, nutrition, walks. After a breakup, emotional stress sets in and the body experiences discomfort. To minimize the negative impact, you must adhere to the basic rules of a healthy lifestyle.
Algorithm of actions
Psychology has developed a clear plan on how to forget the guy you love unrequitedly, once and for all.
- Acceptance of what is happening. It is stupid, pointless to deny your own love, the departure of your ex-man to another chosen one, the impossibility of returning the relationship. Do everything to soberly assess the situation. If you want to cry, go ahead! There was a desire to laugh - even better!
- Prohibition on self-flagellation. The guy leaving is not the girl's fault. The love just passed, the feelings cooled down. We need to forget. Searching for a reason within yourself is a futile exercise.
- Renunciation. You should not keep your ex by force, blackmail and other cunning tricks. This will not help you forget, but will only make the situation worse.
- Maintaining your dignity. After breaking up, do not try to belittle a man or denigrate him in front of others. It's better to just ignore it, no matter how hard it is.
- Awareness of independence. Sketch out a list of your own skills, abilities, and strong character traits. Analyze your successes and achievements. Understand that you don't need an ex-boyfriend to live a fulfilling life. Every woman is able to provide for herself without outside help, dress beautifully, get an education, build a career, and spend time among interesting people she likes. As they say, if you want to do it well, do it yourself!
- Enjoying solitude. A breakup should be seen as an opportunity to take time for yourself. Do something interesting that you like: read classic literature, write poetry, sign up for extreme sports courses. Try new things, experiment with what makes you happy.
- Full communication. Don't isolate yourself. It is necessary to maintain your usual lifestyle as much as possible, with the exception of circumstances related to your ex-boyfriend. Communicate with your beloved family, true friends, take an interest in their lives, support them. This will make you feel needed.
- Prohibition on acceleration. You shouldn't rush things. The human psyche is rebuilt slowly, it is unrealistic to forget a relationship in one moment. It is enough to outline a vector of movement, gradually moving towards the set goal - to get away from pain and memories. One day, experiences will disappear over the horizon, and new prospects will loom ahead.
- Faith in the future. A breakup is not a reason for self-pity. You need to believe that life will get better after a breakup. Work on yourself, take one step at a time on the path to healing. Every new day should bring a small victory. Bake a delicious pie, go for a morning run, take initiative at work, go to a party with friends. Gradually, life will return to normal.
How to stop loving a man
When you break up with your lover, your state of mind leaves much to be desired. You are hurt, bad, lonely, nothing makes you happy. The saddest consequences are nervous breakdown and depression. In this case, you just want to throw your “ex” out of your head.
You need to work on yourself so that the memories are not so painful, and your emotional state returns to normal.
Get rid of any reminder of him
There is no need to carefully keep the memories of your ex in your heart, and his things in your home. Give him back the T-shirt he changed into when he spent the night at your place and his toothbrush. You can throw these things away if he doesn't need them. If you feel bad about throwing away valuable gifts, then at least put them away for a while and don’t use them.
READ
How to overcome separation from your loved one: stages of separation and advice from psychologists
In addition to things, remove from your life other reminders of the man you broke up with. This could be shared photographs and videos, the music you both loved, which you often listened to in the car. Stop going to those cafes where you once visited. This will help you get over the breakup easier and stop thinking about it.
Take up your free time with a new hobby
Do you have a lot of free time? Stop crying and cursing your villainous fate! This is a good reason to take up a hobby that interests you. Maybe you've been wanting to take up dancing or knitting for a long time. The time has come.
An activity that you enjoy will help repress memories of your loved one and bring positive emotions. You will start communicating with new people, maybe even find a guy with whom you will have a serious relationship.
Pamper yourself more often
In the first days after breaking up, allow yourself everything you want. Nothing bad will happen if you eat your second chocolate bar of the day, buy a handbag you like, or go to an expensive restaurant with your beloved friend. You deserve it! Get fresh impressions and good emotions. This will help you get rid of bad thoughts and negative memories.
Communicate a lot
If you don’t know how to erase an ex-boyfriend you love very much from your memory, then switch to other people. You don't have to leave home to do this. Chat on social networks or dating sites.
If you’re ready, then go with your friends to restaurants or discos and meet new people there. Join some club and find new interesting friends there. The main thing is not to avoid meeting new people and communicating with old friends. If you withdraw into yourself, you will be completely immersed in your grief, you will cry and feel sorry for yourself all day long. So close to depression.
Play some sports
In this way, you will not only take up your time so as not to waste it on bad memories and self-flagellation, but you will also get your body in order, and men will pay attention to a beautiful figure. In addition, it has long been proven that sport is an excellent cure for stress and nervous disorders. When you return home from the gym in the evening, you will want to have a good night's sleep and gain strength, and not torment yourself with memories of your former relationship.
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Read books about self-development
If you don’t know how to continue living, then good advice from a psychologist will come in handy. Experts advise engaging in self-development. To get started, you can read books and then enroll in courses. As the great philosopher said: “I know that I know nothing.” There is always something to strive for. Maybe later you will thank the man who left you for reaching such heights in your career. In addition, fascinating reading will relieve you from worries and unnecessary memories.
Don't live on memories
You shouldn’t replay the happy moments from your life together 100 times in your head. Before going to bed, you don’t need to remember how a guy kissed you in the cinema, how you rode around the city at night or walked in the park. These memories “eat” you from the inside and do not allow you to move on. Better think about how your life will soon change for the better.
How to forget a guy: consider various situations
Forgetting a man if you love unrequitedly is a real problem. The path to healing is not easy. Every girl goes through it differently. Some people manage to quickly go through all the phases, forget and begin to boldly look into the future. Others may get stuck at one stage and go in a vicious circle. It depends both on character and willpower, and on many related factors.
Breaking up a long-term relationship
When a couple dates for a long time, in addition to love, they begin to have a lot in common. Shared memories, countless photographs, things, property, beloved pet, friends or even children. What to do after a breakup? How to divide what you have acquired through backbreaking labor? How to forget?
It is recommended to get rid of memories, photos together, iconic little things that you like as quickly as possible. They will only add fuel to the fire, keeping you firmly in the old relationship, making it difficult to forget. Valuable items must be divided following peace negotiations. If questions arise, it is often better to give in to your ex. Otherwise, the conflict may drag on for a long time, which will hinder healing.
Communication with mutual friends should be kept to a minimum. If your friends fully support your ex-boyfriend in the current situation, then you will need to make new ones. But with a child, everything is much more complicated - you cannot deprive him of his father. In this case, the relationship between parents should be limited to the interests of the child.
The initiator of the breakup is the guy you like
It is unpleasant for a girl, sometimes unbearable to feel abandoned. To get out of this situation with dignity, to forget your ex as soon as possible, you need to work on yourself, learn to manage your emotions and sensations. Psychologists recommend completely eliminating the presence of a man in life, head, heart. How to do it?
Get rid of gifts, photos of your ex-boyfriend. Even if it’s a pity to throw away something you like, do it. Motivate yourself with the desire to become happy again.
After breaking up, stop communicating. Avoid mutual acquaintances, your ex-man’s favorite places, avoid his house and work. Delete contacts and correspondence - this will keep you from the temptation to call or write. And he will. You should be prepared for this.
If your ex-boyfriend writes himself, you must answer with restraint, politely, without a hint of further continuation of the conversation. At the same time, you should not wait for another call or message. This will pull you into the abyss of memories.
Reason for separation: betrayal
It is necessary to clearly understand the essence of the problem and face the truth. What happened happened. There are two possible scenarios.
- The girl gives the guy another chance. To save the relationship, you should sincerely forgive the betrayal and forget about the incident. You need to understand what prompted a man to cheat, and whether there is a good reason to forgive him. Otherwise, constant memories will make themselves felt, manifesting themselves in the form of emotional breakdowns, reproaches, aggression towards the man, themselves, and others.
- The girl decides to break up and forget the man she likes. She understands that she cannot come to terms with betrayal. It’s painful and offensive, especially if the guy doesn’t repent of what he did, but don’t despair. You need to be positive. Fill your free time with communication with pleasant people, do something you like, try something new, implement a long-planned event. Take action instead of sitting still, immersed in sad thoughts.
Brief episode
If after one or two meetings the guy you like refuses to continue communication or build a relationship, let him go and forget him. You should not insist, impose your society. Don't try to make him fall in love with you. Attempts at persecution and revenge are also prohibited. Just analyze what happened, the behavior and statements of the ex-man. Draw conclusions on how to avoid similar situations in the future.
You love unrequitedly and hopelessly
How to forget a guy you like but never reciprocated? There is no need to talk about relationships in this situation. The girl’s dreams are not destined to come true, and her heart burns unrequitedly. It is necessary to acknowledge the lack of sympathy on the part of your loved one and take responsibility for your feelings. You won't be nice by force. Consciously stop talking or thinking about the man you like, avoid meeting him and his friends, stop looking for information about him on social networks. Letting go and moving on is the best solution.
Reasons why you need to forget a man
It’s really hard to get your “ex” out of your head forever, but some actions and actions simply cannot be forgiven, and sometimes circumstances develop in such a way that it is easier to let the person go than to keep him close to you.
If the relationship causes discomfort, you cry more than you smile, then there is reason to think about saying goodbye to your lover.
Your love is unrequited
Unrequited love is a form of intense affection that involves emotional and physical attraction to a guy without reciprocation. The man is nearby, but you don’t feel love, warmth, care, or desire to spend time together from him. Your loved one does not make plans for his future life with you.
Such an unrequited feeling can lead to severe depression and a nervous breakdown, or to addiction to alcohol, drugs, or smoking. Before serious consequences arise, you need to break off the connection with a person who does not have feelings for you and does not see you in his future. Then it will be more difficult, since affection will also be added to sympathy.
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Treason on his part
Cheating is not just infidelity, but a betrayal of a loved one, which is why it is so difficult to forgive it. Partners cheat for three reasons: because of their own selfishness (I want her and I don’t care how my girlfriend will feel), temporary weakness (for example, too much alcohol) or frivolity (does not attach importance to the seriousness of the situation). If a temporary weakness that happened only once can be accepted and forgotten, then selfishness and frivolity cannot, because in this case the young man will cheat constantly.
No one knows exactly how long it takes to completely erase your ex-boyfriend from your memory. But in any case, it’s faster and easier than enduring constant betrayal and bullying.
Humiliation and assault
Respect is an important part of a happy relationship. If it is not there, then love becomes incomplete, if it still remains between you at all. By humiliating a woman, a man tries to elevate himself. He wants to look more successful against her background, but this is the path of a weak and insecure person who has achieved nothing in this life.
The same applies to assault. A guy should protect his soul mate, and not beat her, because the strengths of a man and a woman are incomparable. Assault is the lowest and cruelest thing a partner can do to his beloved. If after a breakup you don’t know how to quickly forget your beloved ex-boyfriend, then look at your bruises and think that next time it will hurt more and more.
Gambling and other addictions
It is very scary if a man begins to exchange a girl and her good attitude for alcohol, drugs, or gambling. These are painful addictions that replace everything for a guy - love, family, sometimes even food. He doesn’t even need you, he just needs somewhere to return after a night of drinking or a big loss, where he will be fed, warmed, and put to bed. You will never have positive emotions from this union.
Male laziness
It’s hard to live if a woman does everything around the house herself and cannot force a man to throw out the garbage, wash the dishes or drive a nail into the wall. Imagine what will happen when you have a child and you won’t be able to pay much attention to everyday problems. It’s better to suffer a little now than to wander around with a child in your arms later, not knowing what to feed him.
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A lazy man will lie on the couch and look for an excuse for his laziness. He will not think about additional income when money problems arise, he will not help around the house and with the children, he will not walk the dog, or go to the store. Everything will rest on the woman’s shoulders, from taking care of children to earning a decent income. At this time, the man watches TV, plays on the computer, goes to the garage with friends, and goes fishing.
“Me and a horse, me and a bull, me and a woman and a man” - is this about you? Then run away from this lazy fellow!
You broke up but still love him
Love is a strong feeling that can both give the most wonderful emotions to a person and completely destroy his life. “I can’t get my ex, who left me, out of my head,” laments the girl in love. But if a man decides to break up, it means that his feelings have cooled down, he no longer wants to be with you. You need to appreciate his honesty and try to understand him. It is impossible to return love if it is gone. You don't want to live with a person who doesn't love you?
What not to do after breaking up with a man - advice from psychologists
A breakup, which is perceived painfully by girls, can lead to rash actions. Very often, an emotional breakdown becomes the cause of unusual behavior. What is absolutely unacceptable to do after breaking up with a guy and why.
- Avoid getting a full night's sleep. Violation of the regime entails a failure in the entire body system. Strength disappears, helplessness and apathy begin to overcome.
- Drink alcohol, drugs. Some people believe that getting drunk and forgetting after a breakup is salvation when you love unrequitedly. And it’s even easier to fly away into a non-existent world, where everything is beautiful, colorful, fabulous. This is a misconception that can cause psychological trauma and harm to health. Alcohol and drugs destroy the central nervous system, deplete you, and prevent you from getting out of the pit of depressed mood. After returning to reality, the mood becomes worse, and the problems take on even greater proportions. Many accidents occur while under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
- Look for a way out in random sex with the first guy you like. This will only help you forget for a while. And then the old experiences will come flooding back with renewed vigor. They will be accompanied by disappointment and self-disrespect, which can provoke depression. Don't forget about sexually transmitted diseases.
After a breakup, you need to control yourself. Focus all your efforts on healing from the loss, try to solve the problem as soon as possible.
What to do to forget
The pain of losing a relationship can be as intense as that of a physical injury. You can even draw an analogy. When a person receives bodily injury, he first goes into shock. He may not even feel pain at all. But then she hits him with full force. The person begins to cry and seeks support from loved ones. Go to the doctor who will prescribe medicine or ointment. If all recommendations are followed, over time the wound heals and the person returns to normal.
Treatment of mental trauma has the same algorithm of actions. To find a way to forget your beloved man, you need time and scrupulous adherence to all the recommendations of psychologists. And everything will fall into place.
Don't fool yourself
First of all, it is important to understand that you cannot forget your love quickly. Her lover was an important part of the girl’s life; she devoted a lot of time and attention to him. Probably, negative feelings will appear because he no longer needs her, but attempts to forget about them or simply push them away will cause additional harm to the girl’s emotional state.
If she sees that a man no longer has the same feelings for her, she should not try to delay the end of the relationship. At one point the guy will simply leave, but it is better to take this step first. This will avoid feelings of loneliness and wounded pride.
READ How to understand that a guy wants to break up: signs of crisis and tips
It is important to realize that this relationship no longer has a future, even if the girl is drawn back. Because delaying the separation process will only lead to an even greater immersion in a depressive state. Don't hold back your emotions - tears will help ease the pain of a breakup.
Focus on negative aspects of his character or appearance
Every person has both external flaws and negative character traits. The feeling of falling in love prevents you from seeing them, objectively assessing and reacting. To quickly forget the man you love who abandoned you, you need to stop idealizing him and start looking for all the shortcomings that irritate a woman. This could be: rudeness, tasteless clothes, disrespect for a lady's opinion, or wet sticky palms. Anything that can cause disgust in a particular girl.
It is better to write down the negative aspects of a man on a separate sheet of paper and re-read them several times a day. This will remove the desire to idealize your loved one and help you evaluate him objectively.
Get rid of his gifts
Anything that reminds of the recent presence of a young man who no longer loves her should be removed as far as possible from the young lady’s life, thrown away or even burned. Tickets to the cinema they visited together, beautiful tree leaves from his favorite park. Gifts for birthday or New Year. Right down to correspondence on social networks. There shouldn't be anything left of him.
All this will help make room in a girl’s life for new love. Shedding tears over photos together or his favorite sweater will not achieve change.
Talk to others
You should not assume that by telling her friends and family about her problems, a woman is simply complaining to them or annoying them. Simply voicing a problem helps to understand and accept it. If you share your feelings, emotions, tell how difficult it is for a girl, it will become much easier for her.
Of course, you shouldn’t throw everything out at the first person you meet. The circle of people with whom she will share her experiences must be clearly defined. Not everyone is able to provide support. Relatives will regret it, but employees are unlikely to like such revelations.
Psychologists advise talking about your problem until you simply get tired of repeating the same thing for the hundredth time.
This method is good even for those who do not like to involve strangers in their personal affairs. You can call the helpline and simply speak out. At some stage, you will feel that you are already tired of repeating this story. And I don’t want to listen to advice on how to forget my ex-man.
Find your strengths
When a man leaves, it doesn't necessarily mean that the woman did something wrong. Therefore, thoughts that she has gained weight, is a bad cook, ugly or simply uninteresting should be discarded immediately: they will only increase depression. You need to realize that the breakup occurred not through anyone’s fault, but simply because people did not get along in character or due to other circumstances.
The next step on how to forget your beloved man is to realize your merits. To do this, you need to write down in a column on a blank sheet of paper all your positive character traits, appearance, list your hobbies and skills - everything that a woman is proud of. Then hang it in the most visible place and re-read it as often as possible.
Gradually, the young lady will stop looking for flaws in herself and will believe in her uniqueness. This will help you get rid of thoughts about why he doesn’t love her. Indeed, in reality it is almost impossible to answer this question. Love arises in the heart suddenly and leaves it just as unexpectedly.
Laughter and tears
Scientists have long proven that laughter has a healing effect. Therefore, you need to try to be in places with a cheerful atmosphere, and also to cheer yourself up. For this purpose, watching humorous TV shows and films, listening to energetic, cheerful music, reading magazines with jokes are suitable.
Tears will help you get over a breakup, especially at first. After a person has cried, it becomes much easier for him. Their healing effects were described by the American biochemist William Frey based on fifteen years of study of this phenomenon. The conclusion he made was that emotional tears contain toxic waste from the body's biochemical processes. They bring them out and relieve emotional stress.
Therefore, having a good cry will be useful not only to restore mental balance, but also to cleanse the body.
Avoid meetings and any reminders
If any musical composition makes a woman remember her former lover, then she should immediately stop listening to it. In addition, you should avoid all places where the couple spent their free time together, and the company of friends, where there is a possibility of running into a guy.
It happens that there is no way to avoid a meeting. A woman has to, due to circumstances beyond her control, see a young man. In such a situation, it is recommended to minimize conversations and points of intersection. It is important not to provoke an outbreak of new emotions, which only delay the process of healing from unrequited feelings.
Get busy
It is important to find an interesting activity that will completely occupy all your free time and thoughts.
This will allow you to quickly forget about the ex who left you and all sorts of worries. It is impossible to force yourself not to think. Therefore, you need to occupy your brain with thoughts on abstract topics:
- Call a friend to discuss the latest fashion trends.
- Watch an entertaining movie, do some spring cleaning in the house and garden.
- Learning a foreign language has a good distracting effect. Moreover, this is not only a cure for nostalgia, but also a good help for moving up the career ladder.
The fewer thoughts about the past, the faster it will become easier.
An outlet for feelings
After the first tears and hysterics have passed, anger will appear. This is normal and understandable. You should not try to extinguish it or contain it. You just need to direct it.
READ How to quickly forget a guy: proven methods and recommendations from experts
In this situation, the woman has every right to be angry. You can throw out your emotions on a soft toy, write a detailed letter to your ex who no longer loves you. The process of destroying a man’s things helps a lot, and even brings some satisfaction. You can call him and express everything that has accumulated in the young lady’s soul lately. The only condition: this must be done soberly, so that he does not mistake the interlocutor’s behavior for the ravings of a drunken girl.
Attempts to restrain negative emotions lead to very unpleasant consequences for a woman’s health: neurotic and psychosomatic symptoms, problems in subsequent relationships. Psychologists recommend doing a simple exercise. You need to live your feelings and merge with them, bring them to the maximum. And then ask yourself a simple question: “What do I want now?” Probably, the desire will be quite banal - to break or break something. Don't restrain yourself. The main thing is to hide all valuable items in advance.
Over time, anger and aggression will go away. It is important to repeat the exercise until the desire to destroy and destroy everything disappears.
Stepping outside your comfort zone
Psychological research shows that to get rid of old and bad habits, you just need to create new, more pleasant ones. The same principle works when looking for ways to quickly forget your ex-man:
- Travel to a new city every weekend, visit a movie theater once a week, change your route home or to work. If it is not possible to radically change the situation, it is worth starting with some small household changes.
- Find places in your hometown where the girl has never been before. Visit a newly opened cafe, join a club of interests. The main thing is to find a new interesting hobby.
Book of Happiness
In psychology, there is a special technique that helps you quickly forget your love for a man. It's called "The Book of Happiness." This is an ordinary notebook, in which a separate page is allocated for each day.
In the evening, you need to sit comfortably on your favorite sofa, write the heading “Happiness today,” and under it write in detail all the events of the past day that brought even the smallest joy or made you smile. It could be a cute kitten at the gate, beautiful boots in a store, a polite salesman and many similar little things that a person usually simply forgets in the evening.
After 2-3 weeks of detailed recordings, the human psyche will focus exclusively on positive emotions, and the negative will begin to gradually recede.
Take care of yourself
After a breakup, it is important to spend time on your appearance and style. After all, now there is an opportunity to find a man who will be much better than his ex. If possible, you need to completely update your wardrobe, go to the hairdresser and beautician, and do new makeup every day.
A radically changed reflection will undoubtedly make the girl smile and look at herself from a new perspective. If you force yourself to always smile in the mirror, then over time it will begin to act as an antidepressant, and your mood will improve significantly. Strength and desire for new achievements will appear, and the past will fade into the background. The woman realizes that parting is not the end, but rather the beginning of something new.
What movies to watch
Sometimes a film can treat depression no worse than a qualified psychologist. Therefore, it is worth remembering and watching the following films:
- "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind".
- "Celeste and Jesse forever."
- "She".
- "Be my boyfriend for 5 minutes."
- "Train to Darjeeling"
- "Ruby Sparks"
It will also be beneficial to listen to lectures by Ruslan Narushevich, who is a leading psychologist in the field of interpersonal relationships. They will help you survive a breakup with a person who betrayed you and become happy without boyfriends.
Typical mistakes when trying to forget the guy you like
To forget the man you like, it is not enough to know the general rules. Additionally, you can familiarize yourself with the list of errors to eliminate them. This will speed up the process.
- Maintaining friendly relations. It's an illusion. Every minute of communication with the guy you love unrequitedly will hurt, memories will come flooding back with renewed vigor, feelings will not disappear. Perhaps, after a while, when a new young man appears, it will be possible to communicate painlessly with the ex-man. But there is no guarantee.
- Unwillingness to forgive. As a rule, it is caused by anger and hatred. But these are also emotions, albeit negative ones. Indifference is the main condition for oblivion. Forgiving and letting go is the main task and the way to become happy again.
- Headfirst into the pool. Trying to build a new relationship in order to forget the old one is not an option. This will only lead to constant comparison with your ex-boyfriend, and perhaps even a desire to rebuild your new partner. Start with a clean slate, leaving behind experiences and memories.
- Removal of responsibility. As a rule, both partners are to blame in any situation. Breakups are no exception. You shouldn’t blame yourself completely, but it’s also not recommended to shift all responsibility onto your ex’s shoulders. Analyze your role in the relationship, realize your own mistakes and avoid them in the future.
- Keeping hope alive. Sometimes girls think that the guy they like has left for a while and will return soon. They live in anticipation of a miracle. Suddenly he will call and write. You should not create illusions that your ex-man will repent and ask for forgiveness.
Strength of spirit, sobriety of mind - these are the main companions in an attempt to forget your ex-man. Simple advice - believe in yourself and everything will work out!
How can a married woman forget her ex-lover?
In order to forget her lover, a married woman needs to analyze her relationship with her husband. Feelings will gradually begin to recede when she realizes that she is connected with her husband by something more than affection and passion.
Advice from a psychologist to help you forget your beloved man looks like this:
- Try to spend more time with your husband.
- Focus your attention on the good personal qualities of your spouse.
- Constantly compare your husband and lover. This is especially true for those things in which the latter clearly loses.
In order to forget a married lover, a married woman needs to act in a radical way: try to exclude the possibility of any contact. If she has a relationship with her boss or her husband’s friend, then the nature of communication needs to change. You should communicate with management in a formal manner; with a friend, only in the presence of your husband.
There is no need to admit to cheating. At the same time, the woman must make a promise to herself that she will not meet with her lover again.
How to forget the guy you love that you talk to all the time
It’s easier to erase from your memory a person who has disappeared from your sight, does not call, does not write. It's much more difficult if you work or study together. Constant meetings will only aggravate the bitterness of parting and pain. Use the following tips:
- Don't act friendly, but don't be aggressive either. There is no need to be too persistently interested in his life, but it is also stupid to turn in the other direction. Be casual. Your colleagues should not know about the strained communication. Nobody needs rumors.
- Don't turn the team against him. If they become interested, briefly say that the affair is over.
Behave calmly, without emotions. Give yourself the opportunity to be independent.