Don’t run after a man: how can a girl or woman stop running after a guy?

When does a woman chase a man?

If she is actively attacking in response to his silence.

She establishes contact herself (writes, calls), tries to get him to talk about feelings and relationships, persistently seeks meetings and literally does not give way.

This may be a harmless desire to demonstrate interest through communication, an invitation to spend time together, and special attention to his words and life.

But a woman can “run” after a guy purposefully , realizing that she is trying to conquer her beloved with her actions.

At the same time, a woman who runs after a man manifests herself not only in private.

She can remain active even in a friendly company or within a work team: she constantly glances at her lover, takes any topic to a more “personal plane” and tries to insert her word in response to every phrase of the man with whom she is in love.

No need to run after a man, find out why!?

Many women will agree with the statement that now men have become somehow inert, lacking initiative, lazy, they do not want to achieve a woman’s love and, in general, just do nothing.

The development of the Internet also played a role in this - it’s so easy to immerse yourself in the virtual world and keep yourself busy with a lot of entertainment. So we release our precious energy and strength into the virtual space, women, losing the desire to admire, and men to conquer.

However, this is also the fault of women, who took away from men not only the right to wear trousers, go to work and pump weights in the gym, but also became predators themselves.

I really like the writer and psychologist Svetlana Ermakova, the creator of the “Don’t stop him from falling in love with you” method. A technique that will revive even your husband!” She very succinctly called such women “catching up.” Today I want to outline some of her tips from the methodology and convey one simple idea to women:

Men have stopped hunting because the “game” itself runs towards them with open arms. Who would be interested in such a hunt?

In a pair there is always one who is chasing and one who is escaping. Or, to put it another way, one loves, and the other allows himself to be loved. This doesn't always happen, but often. Or in a couple the love is mutual, but one is still always a little more interested in the relationship. And it is very desirable that this “more interested” person be a man. This means that he must be catching up, and not vice versa. And today many women live their lives “catching up.” And then they complain that normal men have disappeared, become extinct as a species.

No need to run after a man. You need to interest him, ask him riddles and... run away. And if you don’t run away, then they won’t catch up with you. And if you do catch up, they run away from you! Imagine a cow running after a bull. Or a hen after a rooster. They calmly do their job (grass, peck food) and do not pay attention to the males. The rooster will probably be shocked if the hen suddenly starts running after him, he will obviously consider her “abnormal”.

Therefore, the harder you run after a man, the faster he will run away from you. As Svetlana put it: “The more a woman suffers from a lack of His love, the more a man suffers from an excess of HER love.” Don’t become clingy and catch-up, take better care of yourself, your inner world and mood.

No need to run after a man

So, how can you stop him from falling in love with you?

I think you already understand that you shouldn’t run after a man. How to do this practically and what is this “not running”? And it consists in five Non-actions.

5 Non-actions

1. Always remember that as soon as you turn into a catch-up man, the man loses interest in you. Don’t try to please a man in everything and make his life pleasant. Take ONE step towards him only when he takes TWO towards you.

2. Do not reproach a man for paying little attention to you. And behave in such a way that he will listen to you. They don’t demand attention, they call it. Don’t ask him questions: “when will you call me,” “where have you been,” “where did you go and when will you arrive?” Don’t tell him: “hug me”, “kiss me”, “take me out”...

3. End the conversation first (including on the phone), without waiting for him to say goodbye to you first. You've probably noticed that the one who says goodbye first has some kind of moral superiority (after all, he has more important things to do than talk).

Men always feel chased (as well as not-chased), so try to say goodbye first. Your farewell may not be the end of the conversation; the man will probably continue it. But with your behavior you will create a situation where a man will be forced to catch up. After all, you are running away!

4. When hugging, no matter how hard it is, pull away first. Don't wait for him to pull away from you. Let him hug you, you give in, answer him, but pull away first. And don't initiate hugs. For many men, they are very inappropriate. At this moment he may be thinking about something, being preoccupied with something, and a long hug is imposed on him. This can cause frustration and a desire for these hugs to end as soon as possible.

When a woman is often the first to hug a man, and even holds him in these arms for a long time, she deprives him of the opportunity to catch up with her, conquer and win. You are depriving him of the most important need - to catch up (and win)! Men are “winners” by nature, and even if he doesn’t always succeed in winning, he still always wants to do it. Therefore, if your man does not catch up with you, he will catch up with the other.

5. Don’t let him know that you are “his forever.” And don't be the first to say that you missed him. This word itself is very insidious. You think that with this word you are letting the man know that you are glad to see him. But men often perceive this as “I’m in love, I feel bad without you, I’m all yours.”

There is also another meaning. People are very afraid of boredom. Watch people and you will see how almost all their activities are aimed at combating boredom. And when you say you are bored, you sound dangerous, because boredom is contagious!

As soon as you stop running after a man and start running away from him, he will begin to catch up with you. When he starts to catch up, he will start to think a lot about you (“why didn’t she pick up the phone”, “where was she in such a hurry yesterday”, “does she love me”, and so on). The more a man thinks about you, the more attached he will become. The more thoughts, the stronger the love!

Be the first to say goodbye, be the first to leave, be the first to hang up the phone and be the first to propose separation. A man who is interested in you will begin to catch up with you. And if not, then this is not your man and sooner or later your relationship would have ended anyway.

Don't run after a man, but take care of yourself! Fill, fill and fill yourself with love and inner light! Take care of your body, take care and cherish yourself!

Source

Is it worth it?

Women are persistently discouraged from being active towards men. Running around, conquering and forcibly making him fall in love with you is strictly prohibited. But there are a few exceptions to the rule.

At the same time, it is important to understand that even in exceptional cases it is unacceptable to cross the line and be too persistent .

When she's at fault . If a woman really acted wrongly or incorrectly towards her lover, simply apologizing is not enough. It might make sense to try, in addition to apologizing, to show how dear and important the person is. And for this you will have to be the first to make contact, show signs of attention, but at the same time not put pressure.
When she refused. If a woman has repeatedly stopped a man’s attempts to establish contact or create a relationship, perhaps a representative of the stronger sex has abandoned the idea of developing communication in this direction.
And you can try to demonstrate to him your desire to try to move into the romantic sphere again.

Why do they say you can't do this?

Why shouldn't you run after a man? Men love to challenge themselves and respond to it, proving their superiority. Such a challenge is for them an inaccessible woman who needs to be conquered and interested.

After all, at the moment of interaction with a girl who does not make contact, you have to reveal your personal potential, use mental dexterity, cunning, include a creative approach, etc.

A woman who “goes online” herself is of no value to men .

After all, the value of a partner directly depends on the amount of effort and work that a guy invested in order to interest and attract his chosen one.

Should a man chase a woman?

In modern society, it is explicitly and indirectly said all the time that a man should run after a girl, look after her, give flowers and sweets, accompany her home, wait several months until “she gives,” please her in every possible way and shower her with attention and other non-working crap. These and other things have been hammered into the heads of men since childhood, starting from films and mass media and ending with direct suggestions from others. But this doesn't work. If it were otherwise, you obviously wouldn’t be sitting on this site looking for answers to your questions.

Very often you can hear from girls: “he must,” “he must,” “well, you’re a man,” “girls need to give in,” and so on. Under conditions when you try to turn off your perception of the world and try to take a woman’s point of view, then you can find common sense here. This behavior is very beneficial for them. In addition to Alpha Males, there are also Betas, whom you can not give, but at the same time can perfectly use for your own selfish purposes. In addition, the beautiful half of our world has an innate ability for acting, which in essence is ordinary blackmail or bluff, and, frankly speaking, a performance. Don't fall for this kind of crap .

Let's start with the fact that if a man runs after a girl, then he automatically puts himself below her and shows low value . At the same time, it is awarded with high value (put on an imaginary pedestal) quite undeservedly. This is manifested through positioning (meta message), which is transmitted through nonverbals and behavior in general. In this situation, the guy is trying to make a barter that will be beneficial only to him, but not to the girl, and on a subconscious level she easily notices this and rejects such a suitor. No one wants to exchange their high value for someone else's low value.

It will be much better and more productive to build communication with a woman on an equal footing, or better yet, from a higher position. Yes, the whole pickup is built on teaching guys to appreciate themselves! The more you try to impose your company on a girl who treats you coolly, the more she will move away from you . The action force is equal to the reaction force. Remember: there is no need to try or strive, do what you like. And if you don’t get along with some girl, let him go, there are many others around, and even better than this one.

The main idea of this article is that instead of courting a girl and trying in every possible way to capture her attention, you need to make her run after you . This is the principle of reverse seduction, when she makes steps in your direction, and you either accept them or reject them. This is how it should be in a healthy society, in which men have confident dominant behavior, and women are not burdened with cockroaches and stupid beliefs and can act according to their true desires.

I conducted many consultations in which guys asked for advice on how to get their ex-girlfriend back, where they messed up. So, the main (and almost the only) mistake of the majority was that they bowed down to women in every possible way, showered them with gifts and begged them to return, that is, they played the role of an obedient dog. That is, they did everything that under no circumstances should be done at all, and in all of these kinds of situations.

Absolutely every woman wants an alpha male , because when it comes to male appearance, this plays the very last role. After all, a true leader conquers others not with his beauty, but with confidence and dominance (masculinity), which attracts girls. Moreover, each of them has their own taste for different types of male appearance. However, in this case there is a slight exception: guys who are very lucky in terms of cuteness are in high demand among the fair sex. In order to seduce, such handsome men just need to come up to meet each other and not spoil everything in the future, because when they see them, women often experience platonic desires. But such cases are rather exceptions to the rule.

Since you are reading this article, my dear friend, you are probably unlikely to have such a “Hollywood” male appearance . In this case, it is better to focus on improving your behavior, namely, seduction skills. Now I remember a funny incident that happened at the last Bachelor Party in Sheregesh , when I came across one very funny girl. She kept repeating: “You are an alpha, you have a very cool behavior.” While I was quietly sleeping in the room, she burst into my room, jumped on top of me and tried to drag me for a walk, drink coffee or something else. But I didn’t care, because I wanted to sleep.