Psychology of relationships after a breakup: is it possible to return old feelings between a man and a woman?

Why do people disagree?

Unfortunately, feelings do not always save relationships. Couples often experience irreconcilable differences that lead to serious conflicts. Sooner or later, the negativity from quarrels can outweigh the positive aspects of the relationship, and the lovers separate. After a breakup, guys and girls experience the breakup equally painfully if they experience love or sympathy.

Before deciding whether to get back together with your ex-partner or not, it is worth analyzing why the breakup occurred. Further actions depend on this, because not every mistake can be corrected. The main reasons for separation are:

1. Relationship crisis. As we know from psychology, there are several critical points in a relationship: 3, 5 and 10 years of marriage. At such moments, dissatisfaction with each other worsens significantly, it is difficult to compromise, and there is a feeling that you do not love your partner at all. Not everyone manages to survive crises; many couples break up because they cannot withstand the intensity of passions.
2. Frequent disagreements and quarrels. Not only moments of crisis are characterized by the presence of quarrels. If the participants in a relationship are not too similar in character and worldview, they may quarrel for no particular reason. For example, they want to watch different films, eat different dishes, or not eat them at all at the moment. Disagreements can be more serious: the desire for children in one partner and the complete absence of such in the other, the desire for financial independence in a woman and the idle image of a man. In a relationship where everyone has their own view of the world and does not want to adapt to their loved one, serious disagreements are inevitable.
3. Jealousy. We experience a feeling of jealousy, regardless of whether it has a basis or not - it is so inherent in nature. The fear of losing a partner provokes jealous emotions and the desire to spy on the other half, get into personal correspondence or eavesdrop on a telephone conversation. However, someone does not allow himself to violate the personal boundaries of his chosen one or chosen one, and another person, under the influence of well-founded and not so suspicions, will behave completely boorishly. As a rule, jealousy manifests itself due to the presence of our own complexes that prevent us from trusting our partner. This feeling offends a loved one, destroys love and often leads to separation.

Basically, it is these reasons that cause the breakup. Both the fear of repetition of negative situations and the unpleasant aftertaste from unflattering statements can prevent you from remaining friends after a breakup, not to mention a reunion. Feelings do not always outweigh resentment. After a breakup, a man and a woman often realize their mistakes, but returning to their partner and persuading him to reunite is not so easy. How then should you behave after breaking up with a man or woman?

How to make peace with a girl

You are determined to get your loved one back and are confident that you are ready to build a serious relationship together. Now you need to make peace with her. But first, you both need to cool down. When emotions are raging, you can say unnecessary things to each other, which will destroy the hope of reunion.

If your chosen one does not want to make contact, does not answer the phone, or avoids meeting, you can try writing her a message on her phone or on social networks. However, this is not a very effective method. Nevertheless, men love him very much, apparently for his simplicity. After all, it’s always easier to write “forgive me” in an SMS than to meet face to face and say it looking into your eyes.

Try inviting a girl for a friendly walk, going to the cinema, theater, or restaurant. You can meet a girl, for example, at her home or work. But you don’t need to follow her around or watch for her at the entrance every day. This behavior will only scare her. If she doesn’t want to talk and leaves, you don’t need to run after her or grab her hands.

You need to meet to apologize and talk.

Things to think about to make the meeting go well:

1. It is better to hold the meeting in a calm atmosphere. Find out what doesn't suit the girl. You can write down on a piece of paper all the problems that you have in your relationship and come up with ways to solve them.
2. Apologize. Explain the reasons for your actions. The apology should not be formal, you must understand that what you did was wrong and avoid such behavior in the future. It’s not worth asking for forgiveness only to step on the same rake again later.
3. Give a gift. This could be a bouquet of flowers, candy or a toy. The gift does not have to be expensive, but it is better that it is chosen specifically for your girlfriend. For example, her favorite book, a beautiful diary, or something she wanted to buy for herself. This will show that you have her interests in mind and can take the time to find a gift that speaks to your feelings.
4. Be sincere. Girls sense lies, and this will not work in your favor.
5. Remember what qualities attracted your loved one, and try to demonstrate them again. Of course, everything should be in place.
6. Prepare for the meeting. Get yourself in order. Let your partner see you in a better light, and not as a stubble-haired man with fumes coming out of his mouth. You have to show the man you want to be with.
7. Think about what you will say. If you are asking a girl for a conversation, then you need to start. At the same time, it is better to think through her objections, accusations and what you can answer in advance, so as not to fall into emotions and try to discuss everything right away.

And now a little about what you definitely shouldn’t do after a breakup:

• Complain to everyone about your ex, tell him what a bitch she is. Your words can be conveyed to her. And if not, think about how her friends will treat her after your reunion. And his whining about his girlfriend does not add respect to a man, especially if he continues to stay with her.
• Call her and all her friends asking them to reconcile you. Such obsession will only scare away your passion.
• Try to make her jealous by flirting with her friends. This behavior will make her angry.
• Call her and continue to communicate as if nothing happened. This is an avoidance of problems and an unwillingness to take responsibility for one’s actions.
• Demand back gifts. You understand that this is unworthy behavior.

What to do after a breakup?

All members of the broken hearts club are interested in studying the psychology of relationships between a man and a woman after a breakup. Indeed, how to behave correctly so as not to aggravate the situation, but to get close to reunion? And is it even necessary to give a second chance to a novel? Maybe it’s better to endure it and start a new relationship after breaking up? Don’t get lost in guesswork, study the only correct algorithm of actions after a breakup:

1. Consider whether to return or return. If the reason for the separation was very serious, for example, rudeness on the part of a partner, disrespect or even physical violence, you must understand that the problem will not be solved by magic. It is unlikely that a former lover or beloved has become different people in such a short period of time - radical changes require a lot of time and a person’s strong desire. Therefore, decide whether you are ready to repeat everything that led you to the breakup.
2. Don't rush things. You may later regret your hasty decision. Assess the situation wisely, but a couple of days is not enough for this. Why then does an ex-man or woman call immediately after a breakup? Most likely, he wants to continue the conflict due to overwhelming emotions. Don’t be fooled by provocations, take a break, spend time apart, cool down, and only then decide whether to put up with it or not. In the end, your future life depends on it - happy or not so happy.
3. Weigh the pros and cons of a reunion. Analyze all the events that preceded the separation. Usually, after a breakup, we remember only the good moments, and the bad aspects of the relationship fall out of our memory. This is why men and women, after breaking up, forget how, for example, they were insulted and humiliated. Be objective and decide not only with your heart, but also with your mind. If you were constantly depressed with your partner and worried all the time, then ask yourself whether it is possible to remain friends after such a relationship, not to mention reunite. It is unlikely that you need a friend, much less a loved one, who will offend and underestimate you.
4. Let your partner prove the value of your relationship. How to behave after breaking up with a man or woman? First of all, don’t run headlong back, but at least talk. If you immediately start making peace, you will devalue yourself and your opinion. You must see and understand that the other half has realized its mistakes and is ready to change. Otherwise, the reunion is simply pointless.
5. Seek help from a psychologist. How to behave after breaking up with a girl or guy? Analyze your mistakes and suggest that your partner do the same. The best way to understand the peculiarities of the relationship between a man and a woman after a recent breakup is to help a psychologist. Make an appointment together and identify the problematic aspects of your union. A professional look from the outside will help you decide whether you need to be together or not.

Consequences

Girls and boys after breaking up are ready to give a lot to return everything to the way it was. But they don’t think about what awaits them after reconciliation, drawing fantastic pictures of a cloudless future in their heads. Unfortunately, most reconciled couples separate again. And the point is not how quickly men and women forget about the unsuccessful aspects of their previous relationship after breaking up. There are several negative consequences that await those who have reconciled:

1. Betrayal. Your loved one may think that now everything is allowed to them. After reunification, people often become impudent, sit on their necks, and may even betray them by starting relationships on the side. You will be completely confident that your chosen one has taken the right path, but in fact you will be even more disappointed. Of course, this does not happen to all couples, but the likelihood of such an outcome is quite high.
2. Dependence on a partner. You can get hooked on the emotional swing of reconciliations and breakups. The intensity of passions will act on you like a drug, and without quarrels and subsequent reunion, life will seem boring and unfulfilled. Emotional dependence in relationships is a common problem, and it often begins with separation.
3. Misunderstanding. Reconciliation does not guarantee the emergence of understanding between you. You will definitely be happy to be together again for a while. But you will soon realize that the problems remain the same and the magic has not happened. Disappointment in this case is inevitable.
4. Lack of trust. You will constantly look back in fear that you will break up again. Because of your anxiety, you will begin to suspect your partner of betrayal and expect a dirty trick from him. And lack of trust usually leads to repeated breakups.
5. Judgment of others. Few people can boast of an impeccable reputation, and parting with your chosen one will add a couple more gossip to your piggy bank. But a reunion with your former significant other will give rise to even more gossip, most likely in a negative way.

We must not forget about such problems if you have clearly decided to return to your ex-partner. We want to warn you, not stop you. If you are sure that this is your person, then boldly go towards fate. And learn a useful lesson from the breakup for the future.

Is it possible and how to renew a relationship after a long breakup with a man?

After the rupture of the union of two lovers, each of them returns to the life that was before they met. They also work, meet friends, but with the difference that each of them now has a compartment for happy or painful memories. Before you think about getting back together as a couple, you need to think carefully about everything, forget about grievances and unpleasant moments. Some people need to get into a new relationship and stay in it for a year or two to realize that the previous ones brought more happiness. For others, it is important to achieve something at work, gain experience, get a new specialty, change their outlook on life.

While the period of your separate existence lasts, it is worth analyzing the reasons for the separation, accepting your guilt as such, and thinking about how you can correct the situation.

When the thought that the past union is vital for you, it has filled your consciousness - move on to active action. Write a simple SMS, ask: “how are you,” but don’t be intrusive and don’t try to immediately make an appointment. Become a close friend, and perhaps your significant other will want something more.

Ask a question

conclusions

It's hard to accept that you and your loved one are no longer together. You involuntarily begin to think that the breakup was a mistake. Indeed, many couples separate out of stupidity, with the exception of those who have fallen out of love or deliberately offended their partner.

What to do if your heart aches with melancholy and you want to bring your beloved man or woman back? You need to calm down, weigh your decision, talk with your partner and find out if he is ready to compromise and live in peace and harmony. If all conditions are met, then it’s definitely worth putting up with.

Remember that not every relationship ends happily after a breakup. There are a number of reasons why reconciliation with a former lover or chosen one does not seem so rosy. You may be betrayed or condemned, you will expect a trick, you will not understand your partner and you will lose your former trust. However, all these horrors do not affect those in whose hearts true love glimmers. Be careful, don’t be afraid of anything, because we only live once!