There are situations when work colleagues fall in love with each other. But is it worth maintaining such a relationship, what are the advantages and disadvantages?
Do you enjoy running to work every day as if it were a holiday? Maybe it's not that you love your job so much, but who is there? Statistics show that 38-56% of people meet at work. But is this novel any good? What are the risks of relationships within the office walls? Let's look at all the pros and cons.
Reasons for office romances
The reasons for developing relationships at work between a man and a woman are different.
The main reasons include:
1. a large amount of time spent performing official duties. The average working person is at home only in the evenings and on short weekends, and devotes the entire week to work.
He has to do a huge number of things, so he often needs to turn to a colleague for help. If this is repeated over and over again, it can contribute to the emergence of warm feelings;
2. In the workplace, people usually behave sincerely, without embellishment. Their strengths and weaknesses are easily visible to others. In a friendly team, the friendly atmosphere is relaxing and conducive to trust.
At the same time, the object of sympathy seems even nicer. Both common cause and tasks contribute to rapid rapprochement;
3. Often the beginning of relationships is laid at corporate parties, group events and trips, when there is an opportunity to get to know each other better in an informal setting. At the same time, entertainment and alcohol speed up the process;
4. sometimes the reason may be in the person himself. One of your colleagues, whether male or female, may be disappointed in his current partner, tired of a previous relationship, or simply looking for a new partner.
In this case, a certain employee or employee may seem extremely attractive for a new relationship, especially if he is a bright and successful person.
Whatever the reason behind the office romance, its development can be completely unpredictable, because such a relationship is influenced by many factors, including the personalities of the partner-colleagues.
Is it worth falling in love with a leader?
Love at work with your boss is always perceived negatively. Any career promotion or bonus will be perceived by employees as payment for intimate services. Many people believe that relationships at work with their boss are formed solely for personal gain in order to enjoy their privileges.
If you cheated on your husband at work with your boss, you should keep it a secret, or even better, quit the organization. A one-time love affair has practically no future; managers marry subordinates extremely rarely. For many bosses, such an affair is just a reason to diversify their intimate life, and a woman will feel terrible discomfort when regularly meeting a man in the office corridors.
Positive aspects outside of statutory relations
Close relationships at work between a man and a woman do not arise out of nowhere. They are usually preceded by a period of unconscious attraction, when it is completely unclear whether it is worth continuing. But if intimacy develops without stopping, then pleasant positive moments await the couple.
You can spend the maximum amount of time with your chosen one without making special appointments for this. You can do work and enjoy the attention of your loved one.
Relationships will always be filled with interesting conversations, since thanks to work, common topics for them will not dry up. New projects and tasks will stimulate conversations and bonding.
Work becomes loved
Even if you didn’t like work before, now you will go to it with great desire, because there you can see someone who has now become dear to you. A good mood and inner uplift will become an incentive to improve your work achievements.
If you start dating a colleague, then most likely such a relationship will not bring unpleasant surprises regarding the character of the other party. The work environment makes it possible to see all its advantages and disadvantages in advance in order to prepare mentally.
The likelihood of betrayal in the case of a relationship with a co-worker is minimal. You are in each other's sight almost all the time and you know what your partner is doing and who he is communicating with.
Working relationships motivate to maintain a spectacular appearance, so there is a desire to look good, take care of clothes and figure. This point applies not only to women, but also to men.
How to behave with a married man
An affair with a married man always brings negative experiences along with bright emotions of the same depth, and if everything happens in one team, then the level of acceleration of the emotional swing becomes critically high. Advice to those who assess their mental impossibility of coping with this kind of experience is to promptly reject all offers and not react in any way to signs of attention. You can pretend to be a fool, not understanding the hints, or directly declare that such things are unacceptable. It is more difficult for those who have already agreed to have a relationship with a married man for reasons of inability to resist or for the purpose of temporarily being in such a non-binding relationship.
It is important to realize that the official wife will always come first; mistresses are taken not to make them the meaning of life, but to find a temporary outlet. A fairly small percentage of men are ready to exchange already established relationships and an established way of life for, albeit romantic, but unknown. Based on this position, attempts to somehow tie a married man to you will be unsuccessful, and possibly lead to a breakup. This is especially true for the tactics of accidentally discovering one’s own existence, when a woman deliberately leaves marks on her partner’s clothes or skin, gives intimate gifts or accessories, demanding that the man wear them. Most likely, at first he will try to negotiate, then he will become angry and eventually end the relationship.
Do not confuse your role - this man is with you secretly and temporarily. There is no need to introduce him to relatives, invite him to borscht and iron his shirts. All that is required for your mutual happiness is to maintain the lightness and beauty of the relationship, and this requires romantic meetings, delicious light dinners and a good mood. No attempt to delve deep into the soul, much less into family relationships, will be successful.
Carry out your official duties as before, do not ask him for help or intercession. Of course, a man will not be able to refuse you, because he clearly has certain feelings, but the more such moments there are, the higher the likelihood that the public will find out and then the reputation of both will come to an end.
Cons of office romance
Of course, close relationships in the workplace do not only have positive aspects. What seemed like a positive yesterday may turn out to be a negative today. Communication becomes exhausting, and the consequences of an affair poison life. What are the dangers of being too close to a colleague?
Frequent attention from a boyfriend can turn into total control if he has a tendency towards jealousy and pettiness. He will know everything about you: who you talked to, who you approached, what kind of coffee you drank. Under such pressure, male co-workers may be off-limits to you.
Inspiration and the rise of internal forces that initially arose in connection with the relationship can direct energy in completely the wrong direction. There is a big risk that all work moments will become boring and uninteresting, because thoughts are occupied only by the object of desire. Of course, the boss will like this least of all.
If you have a relationship with your boss, then over time he may suspect you of being calculating and will stop trusting you. This is most likely if there are “well-wishers” in the team who will try to influence your relationship. A female boss also needs to be on her guard - there are often cases when their attention was sought solely for selfish purposes.
Gossip and gossip
From now on, gossip and rumors will accompany your communication constantly. No matter how friendly the team is, everyone loves to gossip. You should be prepared for whispers behind your back and meaningful glances from your colleagues. For suspicious people, such behavior can be very painful. If your friend is married, then very soon his other half will find out about everything.
If the relationship falls apart, you will have to see and communicate with a person who has become unpleasant. Another painful option is also possible - the colleague himself will stop contact, but you will want to return him.
It can be argued that no relationship, even a short one, passes without a trace, especially for a woman. If they gave her warmth and joy, then in the future she can return to them in her thoughts. This, in turn, may prevent you from creating a strong alliance in the future.
Cons of love relationships
Having considered the positive aspects of an affair at work, it is definitely worth mentioning its negative aspects, due to which many warn against such relationships and swear off ever being in a love relationship with co-workers.
Here the widespread publicity of the office romance comes to the fore, no matter how the couple tries to hide it. The fact of staff awareness is usually followed by gossip, condemnation, and reduction of the merits of those who are lower in rank. The solution seems to be to minimize people's awareness of what is happening between the couple, but slander and ridicule are almost inevitable, especially when it comes to an affair with a boss.
Relationships with colleagues can deteriorate for many reasons. Someone has their own unsettled personal life and the person can’t bear to see happy couples, but here in an unexpected place they step on a sore spot. Workaholics may be annoyed by the constant cooing and distraction of the couple on extraneous topics. If among the team there are those who felt sympathy for one of the participants in the love affair, but forbade themselves such relationships, then the level of anger and envy can even reach the level of action.
In personal relationships, satiety can set in, because people spend absolutely all their time together. If you don’t supplement work topics with other pastimes, get-togethers with friends outside of work, then the topics may soon exhaust themselves, you can’t rely on initial involvement for long, then you need to work on developing relationships. Without preventive measures, the line between work and intimate relationships can become so blurred that family scandals will take place at work, and in bed people will discuss the strategy of a new business plan.
A moment of mistrust regarding the sincerity of feelings can arise when there is an unequal official position. Thus, the boss may doubt that it is he who arouses sympathy, and not the privileges provided to his beloved. At the same time, a person of lower rank will feel a lack of attention, because solving work issues in leadership positions will still be a priority.
A difficult moment is the end of a love or office romance, because in addition to emotional experiences, a difficult state arises regarding further interaction. Not all ex-lovers say hello when they bump into each other in a store, and the level of tension from forced communication on work matters can be critical.
Consequences of relationships at work
The most pleasant continuation of such relations, without a doubt, will be their legalization. This outcome is most likely if both parties are free.
If the relationship was secret, then the likelihood that a married colleague will decide to leave his spouse is, most often, negligible. In this case, it is important not to make the relationship public, and then to separate peacefully.
Of the negative consequences, the most common is discussion of the couple by others, even to the point of inventing fables.
If the connection was with the boss, then the boss may be accused of exceeding official authority, and his subordinate of mercantile calculation. This option sometimes becomes the reason for transfer or dismissal from work.
Of course, getting involved with a colleague will not be without consequences. It is not always within our power to make them pleasant or painless, but we must try to minimize the risks.
