What does it take to become a happy woman and how to do it

How to be a happy woman? Representatives of the fair sex can ask themselves this question at any age - at 30 years old, at 40 years old, at 50 years old and older. The main reason for “unhappiness,” they believe, is the absence of a loved one nearby, their uselessness, and loneliness.

If you can’t find your chosen one for a long time or have to go through a divorce, many feel hopeless. Negative thoughts drive women into a dead end, which is why they stop enjoying every day they live.

What does psychology say about this? Is it possible to start enjoying life and become happy? Well, of course. Whether you are married, divorced, or have not yet had a serious relationship at all, you can always enjoy life . Experts say that happiness is nearby. You just need to look at it. You will learn further how to do this.

To be a happy person is to be satisfied with life

A logical question immediately arises: what is happiness ? The fact is that it is impossible to answer it unequivocally, because for each person it will be different. Social recognition and high social status allow someone to feel happy. Some people need a fabulous amount of money for this. Someone will not be able to feel happy without a loved one nearby, family and children. In general, the measure of happiness is different for everyone.

Happiness is a harmonious state of mind, pleasure from life and oneself . If a woman accepts herself for who he is, she will be happy. The writer Ayn Rand, known for her great works “Atlas Shrugged” and “The Fountainhead,” argued that to be happy you need to be in harmony with yourself. At the same time, winning the love of others should not be the goal. Love does not equate to happiness, just as love relationships cannot guarantee inner harmony .

Philosopher Blaise Pascal believed that happiness is a feeling of satisfaction here and now. This is something that may not depend on material wealth or specific people. Happy people are those who enjoy the present moment.

According to the philosophy of Epicurus, happiness is a feeling of serenity, peace of mind . To achieve this state, you need to get rid of suffering. What causes suffering? First of all, fears and unfulfilled desires that prevent you from enjoying life. Epicurus also argued that there are three types of pleasures:

natural, necessary;
natural, not necessary;
unnatural, unnecessary.

It is the first pleasures, which are easy to obtain, that can bring true happiness to a woman. All the rest can force a person to spend his whole life chasing what he doesn’t really need. Epicurus, who lived and thought several centuries before the birth of Christ, very accurately described problems that remain relevant at all times. This suggests that human nature is always unchanged - it is not affected by generational changes, progress, or fashion trends .

Psychologists say that anyone can become happy - regardless of whether he has serious problems, what his mood is, what kind of people surround him, etc. You just need to listen to experts and people who have managed to achieve the main goal in life - to become truly happy.

Advice from psychologists

Wealth is the ability to fully feel every moment of life. Having understood and accepted this truth, it is not difficult to realize how rich you can be without having a penny to your name. How to become a happy and cheerful woman, regardless of whether your beloved man is nearby or you have to do without him for now:

Spend time with people in whose company you feel comfort and peace.
Make personal happiness a priority.
Be sincere with yourself. To understand the reasons for internal dissatisfaction, you need to not lie to yourself, no matter how cruel the truth is. If it is impossible to improve your relationship with your husband, it is better to realize this and break the connection that brings resentment, tears and disappointment. Opening up to new relationships and meeting a person who will make you happy is the right direction and the best way out.
Be proud of the smallest achievements. A deliciously prepared dish, a hand-embroidered napkin, mastering a new skill (driving a car, creating interior items using the decoupage technique, playing a musical instrument, learning the computer application for photo processing Adobe Photoshop).
Notice the present without focusing on the past and planning for the future.
Enjoy what you have. A cup of freshly brewed aromatic coffee, a live rose in a vase on the table, a purring cat, a received SMS message from a loved one - little things that instantly warm you up and bring many pleasant moments.
Compete only with yourself in the past. You shouldn’t think that your friend, acquaintance or someone else is doing better. No one can know what is really going on in someone else’s family and it often happens that behind the ostentatious well-being there are not the most successful marriages. This rule is equally relevant for family and professional spheres of life. A friend who has achieved a promotion is not necessarily a happy person.
Learn to forgive. Quickly forgetting about the insults caused by others is the best way to achieve harmony in the soul. It is important to forgive yourself, not to reproach yourself for mistakes and mistakes made in the past. We must remember that only those who don’t try anything, don’t move anywhere, don’t strive for anything make mistakes.
Give ideas and dreams a chance, no matter how absurd and crazy they seem. If you ever wanted to try drawing, writing books, sewing, or doing handicrafts, now is the time to try yourself in an unknown role.
Start new relationships. If your passport indicates an age of over 40, you don’t need to think that your personal life has stopped at the level achieved. The heroine of the once popular film “Moscow Doesn’t Believe in Tears” once realized that at the age of 40, life is just beginning. Thanks to the creators of the film masterpiece, new aspirations, dreams and hopes have become achievable and real for thousands of other women.

A woman aged 40-50 years is usually the mother of adult, independent children. She won't have to worry about how her children will perceive her new close friend. Lessons learned from mistakes turn into invaluable experience that will help you deal with relationship problems in the future.

These are the best years for indulging your own desires. You no longer have to put the needs of your children first; you can devote more free time and financial resources to yourself, go on a trip, go to the theater and museums, and deeply engage in your favorite hobby. Happiness itself is found at the moment when a woman is ready to meet him. Ready means you have learned the right attitudes and chosen the right direction.

A woman can and should be happy at any age. In the period from 40 to 50 years, all the prerequisites and conditions are available for complete enjoyment of every moment of life.

What makes a woman happy?

A woman is an amazing creature. Being at the same time fragile and tender, she has strong energy that helps her to bear responsibility for her family and surround her family and friends with care .

To be happy, five aspects of life must be in harmony:

Physical. Few people would argue with the fact that a person needs to do what really brings him pleasure. For example, a favorite job, playing sports, helping those in need, intimacy, in the end - for everyone this is something different, personal. If certain physical activities are not to your liking, then they do not give you a feeling of happiness.
Emotional. Man is an emotional being and dependent on his mood. Joyful people who perceive life positively with all its manifestations are definitely happy.
Social. To feel that you belong to a particular social group, to feel needed, to have a so-called soul mate - without this it is impossible to feel happy.
Intellectual. The opportunity to get an education (if a person really needs it), to find an interesting job, to do what he loves, to continue to develop is an aspect that occupies an important place in a person’s life.
Spiritual. What can indicate happiness in this area? If you are calm, not fixated on material things, enjoy every day you live, and sincerely help people and animals in need, then you are probably happy in the spiritual aspect.

Many people believe that the main purpose of a woman is to seek happiness, love, support people dear to you, and create something new and beautiful. Feeling like a beloved woman, a wife, being close to a loved one, raising children is an important condition for achieving happiness .

Now it becomes clear why most people associate themselves with having a man in their life. And if for some reason he is not there, the search begins for the chosen one who is ready to build a life together. But what if these searches do not bring successful results for a long time and the woman continues to be lonely?

Obsession and failures in your personal life haunt you. It is difficult for her to feel happy without a man. Is everything so bad or is it still possible to be happy without getting hung up on relationships with the opposite sex?

Midlife crisis

Approaching the 40-year mark is often accompanied by a reassessment of accumulated life experience and awareness of one’s position in society. In psychology, the condition is called a midlife crisis, because more often an individual develops depression against the backdrop of irretrievably lost opportunities and steadily approaching old age. Many women aged 40 to 50 have already successfully completed most of the tasks they set for themselves:

Creating a family.
Birth of children.
Getting an education.
Achieving success in the professional field.
Arrangement of home and everyday life.

If the results achieved correspond to the ideals and dreams of her youth, the woman experiences inner satisfaction. When it was not possible to get as close as possible to the desired goals, the thankless process of digging into oneself and self-flagellation begins. Dissatisfaction with the results of life can negatively affect the well-being, mood and health of an individual. Signs of an age-related psycho-emotional crisis:

Behavioral changes.
Detachment, reluctance to communicate with relatives and friends.
Feeling empty.
Changing life priorities.
Changing habits and tastes.

The age crisis often makes a prosperous, successful woman feel irritated and dissatisfied with her current situation. Such an attitude often leads to prolonged depression, from which the individual and his environment suffer. Psychologists advise not to dwell on moments that are considered unsuccessful. On the contrary, it is important to clearly identify successes, of which there were many along the path of life in any case.

You don’t have to fall asleep hungry on the sidewalk on the street, be persecuted by aggressive, cruel people, feel unbearable pain or severe fear. If you have the opportunity to receive quality medical care, drink clean water, see relatives and friends, and use the limitless information resources of the Internet, you are already a happy person.

What is loneliness like?

There are two main categories of women who are trying to become happy without a man:

Disappointed . They may desperately want to get married or at least have a close relationship with a man, but because of negative experiences they are afraid to trust someone . Most often, these fears are associated with the fact that previous relationships did not justify themselves, the woman was betrayed by her loved one, has negative examples of other couples, etc. Everything leads to the fact that she turns into a person who pushes away those who could really give them happiness .
Free . These women stay single deliberately . The reasons may be different: the desire to first build a career and become financially independent, reluctance to listen to a man’s opinion and the ability to resolve all issues independently.

In general, happiness depends on the woman’s attitude towards herself and her life. After all, it often happens that a lady, exhausted by a long search for a worthy partner, still finds him, but continues to feel unhappy, feeling emptiness and lack of something important inside herself. This suggests the idea that you need to start with yourself, change internally, and not try to change others.

How to change your life and become a happy woman?

You should not be afraid of loneliness; it is an absolutely normal state for any person. After all, it cannot be assessed only from the negative side; it has a lot of pluses and positives. Therefore, learn to treat loneliness a little differently than is customary in society, and you will be able to see all the benefits of this state:

enjoy freedom and the right to choose - after all, only you decide where to spend the evening and what curtains to buy for the living room;
show healthy selfishness - a single woman does not need to spend all her time on her family, she can afford to pamper herself;
do not compare your life with the lives of other people - everyone has their good and bad times;
Constantly expand your circle of acquaintances - communicating with a large number of new people sharpens your eloquence and trains your mind.

And keep in mind that loneliness can be used to great benefit for yourself: spend your free time on self-development. This will be the wisest decision in life.

How not to become lonely?

Loneliness is not the absence of loved ones or close people in life. It is rather a state of mind, a feeling of uselessness . After all, there are cases when a person is surrounded by a huge number of relatives, friends and acquaintances, but still feels lonely. There are completely different situations.

For some women, it is enough to have one single congenial person or rarely contact other people at all, but at the same time live in harmony with themselves so as not to feel lonely.

But, nevertheless, for those who do not want to be left alone with themselves, tormenting themselves with thoughts of painful loneliness, it will be useful to know about the most common reasons for this phenomenon among women :

How not to feel unhappy after a divorce?

A large number of women have had to go through divorce. Disappointment, dissatisfaction with life, fear of being alone forever - these are only some of the problems that bother them after this difficult stage of life. It is especially difficult for those who have lived side by side with a loved one for many years and have faced betrayal .

The very first thing you need to do is stop worrying and fearing the future. Yes, after a divorce, a lot changes for a woman: the rhythm of life, the level of responsibility and obligations, perhaps the level of well-being and the need to raise children herself. But you need to understand that happiness does not depend in any way on the presence of a man. After all, you had it, but it still didn’t bring you joy in the end?

To become cheerful, start noticing the joyful moments in life every day . You can even keep a notebook in which you will write down your dreams and desires - something that will definitely bring you pleasure. Even if these are very small desires, it doesn’t matter.

Try to do at least one of them every day. Fill your life with what you love and want . Just throw away the excuses that you don’t have enough strength, time, knowledge, money or anything else. Believe me: after a few weeks of working on yourself, you will want to please yourself. This is how happiness will become a habit.

And further. Always, no matter what the circumstances, remain a woman. Don't take on all men's worries . Do you need to fix something in the apartment, carry heavy things, or make a purely masculine decision? Hire specialists for this or ask your friends from the stronger sex for help. This will help you not to lose your feminine energy, which attracts men so much.

What prevents you from being happy

Many people understand that the cause of internal discomfort is not related to external factors. Often what prevents you from becoming a happy and loved woman are attitudes that have been maintained for a long time as the main directions and priorities in life. What really prevents you from living a full life:

Fear of approaching old age.
Fear of losing attractiveness.
Fear of cooling, loss of interest on the part of the husband.
Dissatisfaction with the end of career growth.
Fear of getting sick and becoming weak.

The main rule is to replace negative thinking with a positive vision of the situation. Look for a way out, rather than suffer from seemingly insoluble problems. Act, and not indulge in grief and not revel in self-pity. A 40-year-old woman is a valuable employee who, in addition to the standard set of knowledge acquired at an educational institution, has business connections, competence, professional skills honed over decades, and the respect of colleagues.

Numerous examples prove that a woman at 40 years old can look attractive and sexy, and her rich inner world, life experience and common sense allow her to give a head start to young, inexperienced beauties in the fight for the heart of the stronger sex.

How to achieve inner harmony?

So, are you ready to be happy? Then you need to try a little and use a few techniques that won’t make things worse.

Learn to relax

The first thing to remember: don’t take on all the worries. You can entrust some of the household chores to your husband, children or some relatives. Also, do not overload yourself with work during non-working hours, do not think about work matters when you should be resting.

In order to effectively relax, you can use different methods. Many people benefit from massage, aromatherapy, a bath, a sauna or a visit to a spa. Even if you don’t have the funds for such procedures, you can always find a worthy alternative: a leisurely walk in the park, relaxing by the water, a hot bath with essential oils, etc.

Get rid of excess

The burden of unnecessary things and childhood grievances often prevents a woman from breathing deeply and letting something wonderfully new into life. Get rid of clothes you will no longer wear, throw away or give away some items you no longer need. Just don't put it off again and again. Don't regret and don't hesitate. By the way, the same can be said about unnecessary relationships that bring nothing but suffering, disappointment and problems.

Take care of yourself

Take care of your appearance and internal state:

Plan your work and rest schedule correctly. Go to bed earlier and wake up earlier.
Get rid of bad habits that make you feel tired and apathetic. Quit smoking, start eating rationally, give up bad habits. If you sometimes allow yourself to drink, let it be good wine in small quantities and on special occasions.
Love your figure. If you are unhappy with the imperfections of your body, a lot can be corrected with proper nutrition, exercise (choose the most appropriate direction for yourself), and cosmetic procedures. By the way, this will help raise your vitality, be active and self-confident.
If necessary, change your image - get a new hairstyle, try new styles of clothing, decide on fashion experiments.
Choose a perfume or makeup method for yourself if you haven’t done so before. This helps many women always feel confident.

Find a new hobby

You can study psychology, start visiting exhibitions and museums, and read interesting books. If you have long wanted to learn the art of photography or makeup, take the appropriate master classes. Would you like to learn the secrets of creating origami, ikebana or beadwork? Sign up for these courses. Yes there are many options. Hiking, mountaineering, dancing, pottery, cutting and sewing - think about what you can do with passion without forcing yourself.

Find time to socialize

Don’t be afraid to make new acquaintances, meet your family, friends, and old friends. At the same time, try to communicate less with people who are dominated by negative thinking. With their complaints they will only upset you, depress you, which is why over time you risk becoming exactly the same.

If you still don’t know how to become happy, listen to yourself: what do you want ? Throw away all the stereotypes and opinions of other people imposed on you. Feel in your heart what can bring you pleasure and start acting. Pay attention to yourself, not to pointless searches.

Happiness will find you when you become internally calm and achieve harmony. And remember: to feel like a happy woman, even if you are alone, you don’t have to be in a relationship, have high social status or wealth. You just need to live in harmony with yourself .

With love and faith in you, Maria Shakti.

How to be happy after divorce

How can a single woman become happy after a divorce? A frequent companion of women after a divorce is depression; after a divorce, it is just a defensive reaction of our psyche. It sets the mood for a hopeless situation.

How can a single woman become happy “Nothing will work out anyway, so what’s the point of trying, changing something and doing something...”. Are you familiar with these words? This is exactly how depression sets in after a divorce. After all, the truth is that nothing will change, but this is only if you leave the fight.

It is necessary to strengthen the belief that the best is yet to come. A woman after a divorce can do this much easier than it seems. One wise man said: To reach your goal, you have to walk.” Your goal as a woman after a divorce should be the desire to become happy.

So how can you learn to be a happy woman after a divorce? Let's take it step by step.

Step one - forgive and let go

The first thing a woman needs to do after a divorce is to try to get rid of the insurmountable resentment. The resentment of your ex-husband made his family, relatives and everyone who hurt you leave.

The complaints hidden deep in my soul put me above all else. Scientists have proven that among vengeful people, more people suffer from cardiovascular diseases and oncology.

The resentment in your heart cannot make you taste life. I agree that as a woman after a divorce you don't need this at all. Therefore, it is necessary to quickly come to terms with this frustrating general dissatisfaction after breaking up with your husband.

You can get rid of anger after a divorce using various psychological methods. Some people are saved through meditation or prayer. Someone destroyed a letter in which he had previously described his negative emotions.

This ritual is considered very effective. I think it's a ball. Throw as much as possible (throw into an abyss, catch fire or plunge into water).

Most importantly, you will “let go” of guilt and all negative emotions, which is why all of the above technologies are combined. The heart should be free for new, bright and positive emotions.

Step two - open up to the world

Divorce is not an apocalypse. After it, one stage of life is simply replaced by another. Think about what you dream about most now? You are now a woman after a divorce and the time has come to give yourself something nice.

Meet old friends. Bring the greatest amount of joyful and vibrant feelings into your life. Try to admire every second of your life, pay attention to everything beautiful that surrounds you. After all, you are a WOMAN!

Try to remember, because before you couldn’t even devote time to yourself. Embark on the journey you've dreamed of since your youth. Have a party with your girlfriends.

Push all your sad thoughts, doubts and bad mood into the background! Visit a hair salon to change your hairstyle or even your hair color! Start updating your wardrobe. If you start changing little things, then larger and more pleasant changes will undoubtedly await you.

Look in the mirror more often with a smile. Well, is it really possible not to fall in love with such a beautiful and delightful woman in every sense? What about your ex-husband? Well, he was basically a good person and it’s good that he already was.

Step three - believe in love

In fact, believing in love after a divorce is very important, no matter how trivial it may sound. Once you go through a divorce, only you can control how your life will change.

You should not be characterized by the phrase: “Meeting love is a difficult problem.” All thoughts can be translated into reality. And if you want there to be more good things in your life, then dream and think about them as often as possible.

Forget about the gloomy thoughts that good things will never happen again. Try thinking in the opposite way. You are now a woman after a divorce, so love yourself!

A cheerful person with a smile on his lips, and also with self-confidence, will not leave others indifferent: they will be drawn to him for communication.

Go to parties and visit friends more often. Don’t forget about communicating with men and the prospects of meeting people online on popular dating sites. And soon a new pleasant meeting will happen in your life.