Greetings, friends!
The question “how to love yourself” at first glance may seem a little selfish, but this is not the case at all. Self-love is a necessary condition for a full and harmonious personality: both men and women. And if you feel that your self-love is insufficient, or completely absent, you need to take action right now. When you regain love for yourself, the world will sparkle with new colors, relationships with others will improve, and harmony will come in life. And we'll start right now. Ready?
For convenience, we have divided all the work into 3 stages:
- accept and forgive yourself;
- change thinking;
- improve yourself;
Each of these stages includes 7 simple steps that you will need to complete. Any person can do this, regardless of the circumstances that have shaken his belief in his own importance. But before we begin, let's figure out what it even means to “love yourself”?
The way to yourself
Self-love is not selfishness. Not indulging in weaknesses, laziness, or vices. After all, you wouldn’t indulge your loved one’s vices, right?
Self-love is the desire to understand yourself, the mindset to listen to your intuition, your thoughts and emotions. And, of course, this trust in yourself is unconditional, unshakable trust. The path to finding self-love is the path of self-knowledge, self-development and self-acceptance.
And since a person grows up, gains new experiences, and changes, then be prepared for the fact that it will not be possible to do this “work” - to love yourself - once and for all. You will have to work on polishing self-love throughout your life.
You will always get to know different facets of your personality, be surprised and admire them. You will have to console and support yourself. Inhale new spiritual strength into yourself. Get up after falling and move forward. And this is a very exciting and self-respecting process.
Stage 3: Improve yourself
The third and final stage is aimed at creating and strengthening habits that will help improve your body and spirit. If the first 2 stages were aimed at reviving self-love, then the goal of the third stage is to preserve and increase this wonderful feeling. Begin.
Develop yourself
A great way to increase self-love is to spend time daily on self-improvement. There are a lot of techniques that allow you to correct deficiencies, improve weaknesses, acquire certain abilities, and improve physical fitness. Start actively developing, and you will soon feel your self-esteem rapidly increasing.
Take care of yourself
Many people are sure that an attractive and well-groomed appearance is only needed when looking for a life partner, and is not necessary the rest of the time. But appearance is the clearest indicator of a person’s attitude towards himself. An unkempt appearance, bruises and stains on clothes indicate that a person does not particularly value himself, and the connection here is two-way. Of course, self-care alone will not help you love yourself enough. However, taken as a whole, together with all the other conditions that we are talking about today, this is an important and necessary step.
Set goals and achieve them
Real goals captivate and excite, focusing attention to a single point. When you achieve them, you feel maximum satisfaction, from which your self-esteem rapidly grows. Remember that insignificant goals and those imposed by external circumstances take away energy, tire you and quickly become boring. Real goals, on the contrary, charge you with energy, captivate you, occupy your thoughts and do not allow you to fall asleep peacefully.
Learn to say “No!”
It may seem that this recommendation is “from a different story.” But the ability to refuse is directly related to self-esteem. Do only what you want. Value your own opinion, will and desires, do not allow yourself to be manipulated. Pretty soon you will feel that you have become true to yourself, and this will help you love yourself more than ever.
Change your environment
Your social circle determines your attitude towards life, so you should prefer positive, energetic, kind and smart people. And it is better to avoid disgruntled grumblers and gossips by keeping communication to a minimum. If these are relatives or other important people who cannot be excluded from your social circle, periodically hint that they should become positive. Believe me, it works!
Learn to use affirmations
This powerful technique, when used systematically, can solve almost any psychological problem. Find affirmations that help you feel respect and love for yourself. At first glance it may seem like a waste of time, but trust me, it is not. However, here you need to be patient. Affirmations begin to bring tangible results only after a few weeks of constant work, or maybe even a month. But this is one of the most effective tools in working with limiting beliefs.
Reward yourself
A small but pleasant reward for another achievement is also a reminder that you deserve a reward. It could be a delicious cake or a trip to a restaurant. If you like to read, buy an interesting book (preferably expensive and in a beautiful hardcover). You can buy a video game, go to the sauna, go fishing or get a massage.
Our main block, dedicated to answering the question of how to love yourself, has come to an end. I hope you didn’t just read this information, but began to actively apply it in practice, because this is the only way to achieve results. To further understand the value of self-love, let's talk about how it can change your life.
How to love and respect yourself 19 tips. How to love yourself and increase self-esteem
If you want to increase your self-esteem, learn to love yourself and everyone around you. Love is the basis of everything. You need to find something in yourself for which you can undoubtedly love yourself. You have a lot of positive qualities that require your positive assessment.
Remember that you cannot depend on someone's love and approval
It is important, relying on your backbone, to move yourself, support, improve, love and pamper. The main advice of a psychologist in this matter is self-respect
Do not allow any circumstances from the past or present to lower yourself to the level of the plinth, to deprive you of strength and peace of mind. You have to believe in yourself, because no one can do it for you.
How a woman can love herself - advice from a psychologist
So, this article will discuss several popular tips from psychologists that are designed to help women and men love themselves and increase self-esteem.
First of all, it is important to be able to correctly evaluate your actions and capabilities and be able to praise yourself. As the good old proverb says: “If you don’t praise yourself, no one will.” It is important not to give in to outside pressure
People's opinions are undoubtedly important. But you need to use it correctly. It is necessary to transform it through the prism of your own views, but at the same time not be selfish and be polite. The ability to say “No” occupies a special place. Constant failure often harms us, because we do what we don’t want. We completely forget about our desires, hence depression, lifelessness and loss of strength arise. Sometimes at such stages severe, protracted depression and lack of meaning in life occur. It's important to do what you like! Regardless of age, regardless of what people say. If it does not harm others, if it makes you feel good, then, of course, you need to do what you have planned. Take a closer look at yourself, love everything about yourself: the good, the bad, it doesn’t matter. It is you! You are unique, you are special, you deserve happiness, you deserve respect. You are worthy! Always remind yourself of this. You can't help but respect yourself. Lack of self-love is destruction for you as a woman.
How low self-esteem prevents us from living
Appears at any time. The formation of the problem begins in childhood. It negatively affects all areas of life, reducing well-being. Even with great potential, a person will settle for less.
Difficulties at work
Low self-esteem does not allow you to fully develop your skills. The individual is initially confident of failure and his own insolvency, so he will not start new projects and will remain silent when communicating with the manager. Seeing the embarrassment of a subordinate, the boss may consider him not talented enough.
Depression
Low self-esteem can lead to this mental disorder in the future. Some scientists consider it one of the factors in the development of the disease.
Difficulties in relationships
If the baby was deprived of attention in childhood and has low self-esteem, simple interest may be confused with feelings such as love and care.
The harsh nature of a life partner turns such people into victims. They tolerate rude treatment because they consider themselves not good enough for their partner.
Self-love: workshop from psychologist Alla Pilipyuk
There is a simple practice that will give you the opportunity to evaluate, understand and feel how you feel about yourself. It will show the level of self-love.
Imagine: you have a magic wand in your hands, and you find yourself in a jewelry store. You walk slowly, looking at the jewelry. The task before you is to choose the most expensive diamond ring. And you look for it, mentally imagine how it happens.
Find with your eyes what you like best. Make sure that the number on the price tag contains as many zeros as possible.
Now try to notice how you feel when you stand in front of this ring. Do I need to try it on? I'm scared, uncomfortable, ashamed, embarrassed, I'm unworthy, such jewelry is not for me.
Imagine that the ring is already on your finger. Listen to your feelings, because this is the most expensive diamond in the store!
And suddenly a gorgeous man comes up to the counter and quietly says in your ear: “Darling, this is for you!” Now analyze your emotions: what is going on in your soul? Most will be shocked, because how could this happen? Then the feeling “I’m not worthy of this” may arise. Fear and doubt often appear, because “this is not for me.”
In response to this man, say the following words: “I cannot accept your gift, because I have (and tell me about your shortcomings - your legs are not too long, you have excess fat, your nose is big, and so on).
My mom and dad told me that this was not for me. I cannot accept the ring because I myself do not believe that I am worthy of it, that such a thing could belong to me.”
Just say it and imagine his reaction. You can even mentally ask him: “How do you feel about me now after I returned your gift?” And listen to what he will answer you.
- If he gets upset, ask “What made you so upset?” and listen to the first answer in your head. What would this man say?
- He may feel shocked. After all, a man sees you as beautiful, but you don’t feel like that.
But then we stubbornly expect gifts and ask the question: “What can I do to get my partner to give me something and treat me well?”
This simple technique is designed to show that the reason is not the man at all. The problem is the content within us, in relation to ourselves. And to decide to change yourself and really become a diamond for a man, you need to have the courage to look into your soul. Believe me, a lot of new things will open up for you.
You don’t always want to admit that all these fears, complexes, blocks, negative attitudes are really inside you! And in order to become self-confident, to achieve this self-worth, it needs to be increased
It is important to come to the state of “I am worthy”
So that in this store, when you put a ring on your finger and receive an expensive gift, you don’t ask yourself the question “What is this for?”
Answering the question of how to love yourself, we can say: accept yourself. Just the way you are. Accept the fact that you are a unique unit in this world and you are entitled to the best.
This can be difficult. After all, if you grew up in a space in which a mother told her daughter “You are my queen, princess,” and a father said that “Only a worthy man will be next to you: strong, reliable, successful,” then you too would grow up with holy faith that you are destined for this in life. And it would be difficult to convince you that this is not so.
And all the information that was put into your subconscious about what you can and cannot do in this life will be the level of self-love.
The level of your permission to have all the best and most beautiful. And this is a serious problem that needs to be addressed.
What does it mean to truly love yourself?
The first thing to understand is that self-love does not mean the feeling of attachment that we experience for loved ones. It's about respecting, appreciating and accepting your own strengths and weaknesses.
Self-love is the ability to value your own time, the desire to receive positive emotions from life , to spend maximum time with dear people. This helps to have self-esteem, to be self-confident enough, not to hide from problems, but to solve them, improving the quality of your life, setting goals and achieving them.
It also removes the fear of being imperfect. A person thinks more about his own personality and worries less about the opinions of others. This approach is also useful in that it helps you to be more critical of people, not trying to please everyone, but keeping around only those who are really needed.
We've sorted this out, now let's move on to the main question: how to love yourself, and what you need to do for this.
A lover wishes well to his beloved
That is, in this case, to yourself. What is it? Good for every person is to live in harmony with his conscience, in peace, harmony, and joy. The main job for every person on Earth is to learn to love! For starters, yourself. And then others.
A lover sees all the brightest, most beautiful things that are hidden in the depths of the soul of a loved one. And helps him to reveal these best sides in himself. Do you feel the difference?
It does not eradicate shortcomings, does not punish for misconduct and bad habits, but carefully cultivates the best and most wonderful, strengthening a person’s faith that he is good, that everything will work out for him. This is how you should treat yourself. First of all, to yourself.
And what is this light, this beauty and strength of our soul? In kindness, spiritual generosity, patience, selflessness, the desire to understand, come to the rescue, sympathize, support. Develop these qualities in yourself - lovingly nurture your soul, your core, your character.
You see how interesting it turns out - by learning to love yourself, you learn to love others. The cycle of love in life!
Any person can see in his life that this is the self-love that he lacks.
And if there is nothing to love
Well, you don’t see a single worthy quality in yourself (although this doesn’t happen). There are two ways to try to solve this problem.
The first way is offered to us by psychologists from ladies' magazines: to increase self-esteem. That is, to inspire yourself that a person like you is the norm of a person, even more than that, this is a high level, high dignity of a person.
And all those who, willingly or unwillingly, refute this postulate must be humiliated in their own eyes, defeated and trampled. Thereby destroying the significance of their assessment for us. This is the basis of “bitchology” - the psychology of the bitch, which, unfortunately, is popular in our time.
The second way is to look at yourself soberly, see both your good qualities and shortcomings, and work on yourself. Gradually and steadily changing the proportion in the right direction. Believe in yourself as you walk the difficult path of self-improvement.
To stumble, back away, mark time, and then again begin to move towards the true self, conceived by the Creator in his own image and likeness. And take another, even small, step forward!
Love yourself with true love and be truly loved!
Useful tips
Analyzing the material on this topic, I noticed that it is quite difficult to single out separate techniques, tips and exercises. All these concepts are closely intertwined. Consider the following tips to complement your self-love techniques.
- Don't compare yourself to other people. If you admire them, then the comparison is not in your favor. By trying to imitate your “idol,” you can only become a pale copy of him. Focus on your potential and your capabilities. You are the original version of YOURSELF.
- If life is full of tension, you don’t have to endure it. We must change circumstances to the best of our ability. The more unpleasant situations you solve, the greater your self-esteem.
- Take responsibility. For mistakes and failures. Yes. It has already happened – that’s a fact. But there is always an opportunity to correct any situation. Don't dwell on negative experiences.
- Set realistic goals for yourself. Only those that you can handle. Their implementation will give you the feeling “I can do anything, I’m great.”
- Your opinion about yourself is decisive. There is no need to put the “assessments” of others first.
- Reward yourself even for small victories and achievements. Praise yourself more often. Remember that the “child” inside us needs to be pampered. Then love and self-confidence will come.
- Don't judge others. Everyone has the right to act as they choose.
- Don't criticize yourself.
- Be grateful to life for what you have.
- Confess your love to yourself as often as possible. Every person deserves this. You are no exception.
Accept yourself completely
Accept yourself as you are
Love yourself in any manifestation and expression, in any verbal and non-verbal expression.
Love all the mistakes you made in the past. This is important because people often judge themselves, hate themselves and despise themselves for things that were done in the past.
At that moment in time and with that knowledge, that action was the most correct for you. Realize that you took those actions in the past that led to mistakes because you thought at that moment that they would be the most correct for you. Of course, then you admit the mistake, but you love yourself with these mistakes and accept them.
Thanks to your mistakes, you are where you are today. They made you stronger and stronger. Implement this knowledge and no longer worry about how to learn to love and respect yourself. When you no longer associate the word “acceptance” with weakness, you begin to live with an ease and calmness previously unknown to you.
When you no longer associate the word “acceptance” with weakness, you begin to live with an ease and peace previously unknown to you.
