How to break up with a married man: reasons to break off the relationship, how to tell your lover about the breakup, what to do if he is against breaking up?

Relationships with a married man are romanticized thanks to modern cinema and books. Women hope for a happy future, a legal marriage, but over time it becomes obvious that their partner does not intend to leave the family and is only interested in infrequent meetings.

The desire to break up with a married man is natural and justified by the girl’s unfulfilled dreams. To make the gap less painful, you should follow some rules.

We will tell you further about how to break up with a married man.

Reasons that motivate women to have relationships with married people

According to statistics, women around the world prefer married partners over single ones. Even without knowing about the status of their partner, representatives of the fair sex unconsciously distinguish him from their competitors. The attractiveness of such men is due to several features:

Experience .
Married men know how to satisfy a woman's needs, how to respond to her demands, how to court and apologize. Family life, especially if it lasted a long time, helps them find a common language with their partner, which contributes to building harmonious relationships.
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Security .
Often a relationship with a married man is due to his stable financial situation. It is known that the best gifts are bought for mistresses, the most daring requests are satisfied. Constant income eliminates the need to work independently, and free time is spent exclusively on interesting leisure activities. The generosity of married men is one of the most important reasons why women prefer to have long-term relationships with them.
Attention . Married men know how to give beautiful courtship. To achieve the affection of the woman they like and keep her, they are capable of real feats.
No obligations . Not every woman is ready for a serious relationship. A situation where no one owes anyone anything can suit both parties.
Not picky .
It is believed that after marriage, women begin to take less care of their appearance and stop “surprising” their spouse in bed or going on dates. Romance and sexual diversity in the lives of partners disappear, and a married man begins to look for someone else on the side - one who can satisfy certain needs. It is not difficult to please such a man; it is enough to look impressive and smile sweetly.
Unavailability . For some representatives of the fair sex, a married man is a challenge to one’s self-esteem, a struggle with another woman who will determine the winners and losers.
Well-groomed appearance . When a man has a wife, she always takes care of his presentability. Clean and neat stylish clothes, a pleasant smell, jewelry - all this attracts the attention of free women.

These advantages of married men explain their popularity among single beauties. However, such relationships rarely end in marriage; in most cases, the woman comes to the conclusion that putting pressure on a man is simply useless, and therefore decides to leave.

Farewell SMS to your beloved man in your own words to tears

When a girl decides to break up, she has to write a suitable farewell message that will move the man to tears. Since you can say goodbye beautifully even over the Internet, you shouldn’t waste your energy and nerves talking with a guy one-on-one. Personal meetings that end in separation leave an unpleasant aftertaste. He will disrupt your peace of mind for a long time and make you constantly think about the man.

More than anything, I want to get my life back, settle into a routine and find a hobby that will push thoughts of you out of my head. I am grateful for the happiness you gave me. I'm sorry, but my heart can't handle it if I give you another chance.
By sending this SMS, I am experiencing severe mental pain and am cutting you out of my life. Only by opening my heart to the future can I move on. And you go into the night and stay in the dark, if it’s better...
With this farewell message I end our game called “love.” The relationship deteriorated to the extreme when we stopped understanding each other and decided to let the relationship take its course. Once close people have become strangers. Goodbye.
How many times have we dreamed about the future, planned our lives and talked about business. Just recently I was crazy about you, but today I remember with sadness what happened between us. I'm sad to admit, but wishes are not destined to come true, this is the end!
I'll text you and build a wall. She will protect me from constant lies, pain and mistrust, in all this my love for you simply drowned. I don’t want to suffer all my life, it’s better to say “Goodbye!” Now.
If they ask me what I will choose - the scarlet sail of love on the horizon or freedom, I will answer - freedom. Freedom from you. The wind has long taken away my love for you, and I am very glad about it.

When choosing the words that you will say to a man when breaking up, remember: in order for him to regret and think, it is important to express himself in your own words, which are peculiar to you. Then the guy will understand that he will never find such a girl again.

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Why do you want to break the connection?

The desire to end a relationship with a married man does not arise spontaneously. This is preceded by the stage of understanding all the advantages and disadvantages of such relationships.

A married man takes a mistress in order to assert himself, experience “thrills,” and make up for the lack of intimate relationships. Women think that they are many times better than their competitors, and their partner is simply waiting for the right moment to divorce his wife.

Over time, conflicts, resentments, quarrels arise, and a desire to break the connection appears. In order for the decision to be firm, it is important to understand the reasons why cutting off contacts with a married man is right:

Having a family.
In the past, a man had already decided on his life partner by marrying his beloved. The second woman is needed only as temporary entertainment, a replacement spouse according to certain criteria.
Most of the men who do leave the family for their mistress return back after a short period of time.
Relations with the ex-wife have already been established, life has been arranged, children have been born, but the new woman requires a fundamentally new approach to herself. Men do not strive to redistribute responsibilities, experience family crises and go through all stages of relationship development, so they prefer already established stability.
Men like relationships with their mistresses because they are easy, unburdensome, and passionate. Rare meetings take place secretly, which means they provoke the production of adrenaline in the body. As soon as the connection becomes serious and permanent, the man stops experiencing thrills and begins to see his former mistress as an ordinary woman.
The status of a mistress implies a complete absence of rights and guarantees. A married man will not be able to keep company on holidays or on weekends, or come when the woman is not feeling well or is simply sad. Women receive the attention of their partner only when their legal spouse unconsciously “allows” it.
Even a serious relationship with a once-married man is full of fears. If he has already cheated once, then he may well do it again, only now in the place of the deceived wife there will be a former mistress.
A relationship with a married man is dangerous. The wife can find out about the betrayal at any time and attempt to take revenge on the homewrecker. Night calls with threats, notes under the door and scratches on the car are the least that a deceived woman is capable of.

The need to end a relationship with a married man arises when the mistress clearly understands the prospects for a future relationship.

It is at this moment that questions begin to arise about how to correctly talk about your intention, continue to live, and cope with depression if you had strong feelings for a man.

Prerequisites for saying goodbye

Relationships with a married adult man most often lead to failure and loss of time. When should you leave such a lover?

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There are several reasons that force women to do such an act:

Loss of trust in a partner;
Rudeness and humiliation;
Lies about leaving your wife;
Different views on life and goals;
Psychological or physical violence;
Lack of a shared future;
Partner's addictions;
Boredom, lack of feelings.

These are the main prerequisites that force women to leave men and begin to build a different life, in which everything will be different. Very often, after a woman breaks up with a married and beloved man, there remains a deep emotional connection between them, which can only be dealt with on a psychological level.

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How to tell your lover about a breakup?

Reporting a breakup in person is quite difficult, so it is better to use modern technology and call or write a message.

The letter should be short and unambiguous , without phrases that could provoke further discussion or attempt to convince the woman:

I came to the conclusion that such a relationship is not for me.
I want a full-fledged family, my children and a common life. You can't give it to me, so we need to break up.
We had a great time, and I am grateful to you for this experience, but I am tired of depending on your family plans. I want a normal relationship, but apparently this is unrealistic with you.
I don't want to deceive myself anymore. My feelings for you have passed, I want to leave.

Surely, at the first convenient opportunity, the partner will start looking for a meeting. You should not agree to talk at least in the first few days. You can meet and discuss what happened, but only when the emotions subside.

Farewell SMS about breaking up with a man who offended you

Breaking up with a guy is much easier in writing, since it is easier to express feelings in your own words via SMS than when communicating by phone. If a man has seriously offended you, let him know about it. Convey emotions through a message, this way you will protect yourself from additional worries.

How can you hurt the woman you love?! You probably never had strong feelings for me, since you allowed yourself to break the heart that loves you! I went crazy with happiness when I was with you and looked forward to meeting you like a girl. What's the end result? You turned into a rude and alien person, destroying our connection.
My heart is filled with sadness. How could the relationship end... Try to realize how much you hurt me. Everything could have been different, because we sincerely loved each other! Your attitude towards me, towards us, ruined the last hope for a future together.
You destroyed everything good in me, leaving no strength for anything. Someday I will recover from your betrayal and begin to live, but now I can only say “Goodbye!”
Yes, I will never forget you, but you can’t torment me anymore. I cry constantly, feel pain, and struggle with feelings of intense loneliness, but that's not how it should be in a relationship. Your indifference hurts the most, this is the end!
Even casual glances when we meet eyes cause a lot of pain. I feel sad, I want to be transported to another planet to forget about everything that happened between us. This farewell SMS is the last, I promise. Tomorrow my new life begins!

Now you know what to tell a man about your feelings when breaking up, and how to make him regret it. Send a touching SMS when you're ready. Take your time, think over the text and prepare yourself mentally for farewell.

What to do next?

In order not to get depressed, it is important to abstract yourself from sad thoughts in time. Various activities can help with this:

Focus on your career . It's time to make your dreams of successful professional self-realization come true.
Get creative . This is the most effective way to get rid of sad thoughts, which also helps to identify your hidden talents.
Chat with friends . New acquaintances, noisy meetings and cheerful companies are the best cure for the blues.

You should not immediately seek solace in the arms of another man. This will only bring a short-term calming effect and unnecessary familiarity, which, moreover, may turn out to be similar to past experience.

How to break up with your lover

Adultery is a common practice among married women. This is a pleasant break from everyday life, a way of revenge or an opportunity to feel desired. But sometimes such a connection comes to an end - the soul has ceased to be attracted to the beloved, or rational reasons for the break have appeared, or other circumstances. The main difficulty of separation is that the legal spouse does not find out about the betrayal, so it is necessary to separate peacefully from your lover.

Psychologist Daria Milai

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If you still love him

Feelings may remain, but needs require a break; for example, if there is a threat of disclosure, the husband begins to suspect something. In this case, you must use one of the following methods:

Make everything beautiful. Arrange a farewell romantic evening, you need to honestly reveal all your cards - explain why family is more important to you. If a person is loving and understanding, he will let you go.
Don't give up until the last minute. Time heals, but repeated meetings will only make the situation worse.
If it is not possible to quickly break the connection, do it gradually, weaning yourself from constant meetings.
Look for flaws. Yes, he is good-looking and charming, but the main thing is that he is a forbidden fruit, that’s why he’s so drawn to you. But for sure, like every person, he has significant disadvantages. Finding them will help you take the plunge.
Find an emotional replacement. Get joy from a new hobby, go on a trip or change your job to a more attractive one. Pleasant changes will drown out the bitterness of loss.
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If he doesn't want it

It’s worse if the lover himself is quite happy with his status, loves you and does not want to part with you. In this case, to avoid running into an open scandal, follow the recommendations:

Do not insult your lover, do not point out his shortcomings.
Find a worthy cause, but don't make it out of hand.
Be restrained and even cold when meeting. You can talk about your problems and ask him to solve them. This will probably make you less desirable in his eyes.
Do not resort to blackmail, do not give in to persuasion to stay in response to silence on his part.

Consider the lover's psychotype

Depending on their character, people react differently to a breakup:

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Choleric people can flare up and show excessive aggression, be careful.
Melancholic people are vulnerable, they do not tolerate a breakup well, they can be deeply offended and very worried.
Sanguine people are good friends and optimists; they are generally understanding and will easily accept an offer to separate.
Phlegmatic people are calm, they will not object or fight for affection, but will accept the current situation.

If a man is against separation

A married man is unlikely to support his mistress’s initiative and will try to convince her by all available means. If rudeness or ignoring does not help you move away from your annoying boyfriend, it’s time to act radically:

change phone number;
block a man on all social networks;
move to another city.

If there are no such opportunities, you can resort to an alternative option and start an ostentatious relationship with a friend or acquaintance. Once you appear in society in the company of another gentleman, a married man will quickly understand everything.

It is better if the new partner is outwardly stronger and more attractive than the former . This will eliminate unnecessary “showdowns” between men.

How to get over a breakup

The first period after a breakup is the most difficult and difficult. But right now you need to gain strength and go to the end, not allowing the restoration of relationships even in your thoughts.

To quickly restore peace of mind, use proven methods.

Actions after a breakup:

Avoid meetings and showdowns.
Change your phone number and your pages on social networks, delete all its data.
Remove or throw away gifts, tokens of affection, and photographs together.
Set yourself a certain period of time to cry, and then pull yourself together, otherwise you will fall into long-term depression

Pamper yourself

There are many options to do nice things for your loved one. Buy a new thing that is different from your usual style, sit in the pleasant atmosphere of a cafe and drink a cup of good coffee.

Visit interesting events in the city (exhibition of Venetian masks, master class on cheese making, jazz concert). The main thing is that these options are new, unusual for you, something that has not existed in your life before.

Sign up for a fitness club, a driving course, or a parachute club. The main thing is not to get hung up on memories and negative thoughts, otherwise you can “attract” a repetition of the past situation with another person.

Complain to a loved one

Women think it’s better to go through a breakup alone, but that’s not true. If you have a reliable friend, it is better to express your emotions when talking to her. Don't be shy to express everything you feel. By talking about the problem, we partially reduce its significance.

A possible solution is to talk with your family, you can chat on women's forums with those who are in the same situation.

The main thing is to understand that the world has not become worse and all the pleasures of life are still available to you, you just need to wait out the difficult period. Moreover, psychologists say that on average it lasts no more than six months.

Take up a personal hobby

New interests and hobbies can become a lifesaver in this situation. Today there are many options to engage in creativity: soap making, doll sewing, knitting, pottery, creating home perfumes, beading, blending objects, making decorative candles.

The main thing is to keep yourself busy so that there is no free time left for sad thoughts and useless experiences.

A change of scenery

A change of scenery is the best option. This could be a trip to visit relatives, a business trip, a trip to a camp site, or a hiking trip. You can change the situation by starting a renovation or rearrangement.

You can get a license and spend most of your time, especially on weekends, behind the wheel. The most desperate ones change their apartment and even the city. The most difficult thing to break up with a married lover is if he is a colleague and you work together. It is better to change jobs or transfer to another department, even with some reduction in salary. Your peace of mind is worth it.

Blackmail as a way to get rid of the attention of an abandoned partner

Threatening to tell your wife everything can work with an annoying partner, but the woman should consider the possible consequences.
Disclosure of an unpleasant fact may result in divorce. In this case, the man will begin to show even more obsession, because now he has nothing to lose.

If a spouse values her family, she will probably look for a meeting with her rival . Harassment can have unpleasant consequences and is not limited to just verbal threats.

Finally, the most favorable outcome of blackmail is the achievement of the set goal. The man will be afraid of the threat and will stop showing excessive attention towards his ex-lover. This option should be used extremely rarely and carefully due to the unpredictability of the consequences.

How to behave after?

The period after the breakup will be difficult. A woman will no longer be able to live the way she used to, because an important component has disappeared from her life.

To avoid getting lost in sad thoughts, you can resort to several simple but effective techniques:

sign up for new courses, sections;
go on a trip;
keep a personal diary;
change your image.

It is important to get rid of all gifts, photographs, and memorable messages. Nothing should remind you of past relationships. Naturally, personal meetings and any communication with this man should also be excluded.

If the married lover is a boss or colleague, it is advisable to change jobs. No matter how promising this place is, it will no longer be possible to work normally there.

Not only will you have to meet your ex-partner in the office, but it is also possible that he will begin to take revenge .

Fast way

If you have 100% decided that you do not want to be with a person and are ready to break up with him, you need to do this as quickly as possible. Every day only brings more difficulties, and the sooner you tell the whole truth to a person, the faster you can return to your old life.

Psychologists recommend using the following methods to answer the question of how to break up with a married man:

Say that you have fallen in love with another;
Convince the person that all your feelings for him have cooled;
Agree to be only a temporary mistress who does not want to build a serious relationship;
Tell him that you realized the mistake and don’t want to take him away from the family.

Quick ways to break up are always better than quarrels, scandals and decreased self-esteem for yourself and your partner. In such cases, psychologists recommend learning to burn bridges and never return to the past.

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