How to communicate with a girl on the phone: complete instructions

What to talk about with a girl on the phone

Imagine that you met a stunning, sexy girl, you've been texting her for a couple of days, it's time to talk to her in person.

You understand that a telephone conversation is nonsense, a natural process of communication, but you are still nervous and worried that you will not be able to make a good impression on her.

Common situation?

Telephone conversations have long been firmly established in our lives.

You can easily resolve all issues without leaving home.

We calmly communicate with loved ones and strangers without even thinking about how this will all happen.

We just dial the number and say what we think.

But for some reason this scheme doesn’t work with girls.

As soon as you are about to call her, panic immediately begins: “How to say hello? What will I tell her? What are we going to talk about anyway?”

This excitement is due to the fact that this girl means too much to you and you don’t want to miss your chance.

You are afraid of losing her because of some careless phrase.

Imagine that in her place is your old friend, with whom you do not plan any sexual relations, and the excitement immediately passes, your thoughts become clearer, you become witty and eloquent again.

From this we can conclude that it’s not about you, but about your attitude towards this girl.

You have overestimated her importance in your life, think about whether she is really so irreplaceable.

Try to treat her the same way you treat all the other girls around you, this will help you keep your mind clear and remain yourself.

Why is it beneficial to talk to girls on the phone?

Although it is now easy to arrange a first date by correspondence, there are still certain advantages to a telephone conversation.

— When a girl hears your voice and understands that you are a normal guy, her level of trust will increase sharply.

“She begins to perceive you as a person whom she has known for a long time.”

— Some jokes are better suited to real conversations.

— An attractive tone of voice will make you want to meet you in person.

“You will have the opportunity to impress her with excellent communication skills.”

But each communication method has both advantages and disadvantages.

If you make a number of serious mistakes during a telephone conversation, then your chances of a real meeting will sharply decrease.

Therefore, if you are planning to call her, make sure that you:

Relaxed, don't worry.
Sober.
You are in a secluded place where no one will distract you.
You understand who you are communicating with (you know her name, where she works, what she does).

Now that you have calmed down a little and set yourself in the right mood, we can move directly to the technical part of the telephone conversation.

Mistakes guys make when talking on the phone

I think everyone understands that you can learn how to communicate correctly with a girl on the phone.
But how can you do it faster? After all, we are accustomed to the fact that when we learn something new, we need to spend a lot of effort on acquiring this skill. It may seem that before you start to succeed, you will need to have dozens of unsuccessful conversations. But it is not so.

In order to learn how to communicate on the phone as quickly as possible, we will use the experience of telemarketing, borrowing several extremely effective tricks.

But, first, let's look at the mistakes that most often prevent guys from easily calling out girls:

They don't know what they want from the call.
You must have a clear goal. You're not calling to chat, make her laugh, or ask how she's doing. You are calling for a specific purpose - to make an appointment.
There is no clear conversation plan.
You need to work out the structure of your conversation. Divide it into parts and determine when exactly you will ask the girl to meet.
Voice problems.
Your voice should sound loud and confident. There is no need to mumble into the phone, “scream” and “mess”. You must speak loudly, clearly and confidently. Convey emotions using your voice, do not speak monotonously. And, of course, you shouldn’t rush and chatter.
Negative attitude and lack of positivity.
You should call a girl in a good mood. This will help you convey your positivity to her and charge her with positive emotions. To do this, you need to smile yourself during a conversation. If you smile, then your mood automatically improves. You can smile for a minute before speaking.
Another way is to call your positive friend or girlfriend first and chat and joke with him for a couple of minutes, and immediately after that call the girl.
Taking the meeting too seriously.
You need to treat the date as a simple, non-binding meeting. You'll just see each other and have a good time. You can even regard it as a friendly walk. If you take a simpler approach to a date, then you will arrange it with ease. By the way, don’t use the word “date” when talking to a girl. Remember, this is just a meeting.
No date plan.
You must tell the girl what you will do at the meeting. “We’ll take a walk around the center, look at the park, then maybe go to a cafe to drink tea.” It often happens that when a girl asks: “What are we going to do?”, the guy gets confused and says: “Well, I don’t know” or “What do you want?” This shows you as an insecure person. Take the initiative.
Uncertain communication.
It often happens that guys speak hesitantly. It feels like they are bothering the girl and are just waiting for a refusal. They start asking the girl’s permission, the following phrases slip through: “If you have time, maybe I’ll see you?” and other similar nonsense.
Say any sentence in the affirmative: “Tomorrow I have a free evening, I’m thinking of going for a walk. Will you come with me?” They expect the girl to take the initiative. If you called a girl, it means you should also take the initiative in the conversation. You have to lead the conversation, choose topics, determine when to hang up and when to make an appointment with the girl.

How long does an ideal telephone conversation with women last?

I used to answer: the longer you can hold her attention, the better.

I once spent hours talking to girls on the phone, but now I have radically changed my mind on this matter.

Now I am sure that a telephone conversation should last no longer than 30 minutes, especially if you have never met this girl before.

When you talk on the phone for 2 hours, it completely satisfies her interest and deprives her of the basic emotion that is critical to developing a lasting and strong attraction.

How to start a conversation

If you decide to dial a girl’s number, it means you know her well. Perhaps you met on social networks or meet each other at work or school. But a telephone conversation will allow you to advance in communication and get closer to your friend.

To start a conversation and let it develop after the greeting, you can start it with the following phrases:

"How are you?"
“What are your plans?”
“I’m going for a walk, do you want to make up
“Today I was at a museum/cinema/cafe. Have you been there? How do you like this place?

The first phrase should be of interest. Moreover, it must be open. That is, the phrase should allow the interlocutor to answer a question or express an opinion.

If at the beginning of the conversation there is a long monologue, then the girl will not be interested in listening to him for a long time. Even if you have a story to tell, break it up with “Can you believe this?” or “What do you think about this?” This will enliven the dialogue.

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End the conversation at the peak of her interest

When people need to receive positive feedback, they subconsciously reinforce the last emotion they experience during an event (watching a movie, going out to dinner, going on a first date, or having a phone conversation).

This means that if a two-hour movie was amazing up to 1 hour and 50 minutes, but the last 10 minutes were weak, then we would rate that movie as average.

The same goes for dating, texting, and calling women.

In any case, you need to say “bye” at the peak of emotions so that the woman remembers the feeling of joyful excitement, intrigue, and anticipation of something amazing.

When you are having a lively conversation with her about something, she laughs and clearly wants to continue the conversation, tell her the following:

“Now I have to hang up because I have to run to work/train/plane, but I’m not saying goodbye, I’ll write in a couple of minutes.”

How to meet a girl on the phone

Those with a beautiful voice have an easier time - they just need to find where to start the conversation. But even men with a velvety baritone will need the ability to joke and give compliments. Women favorably accept subtle flattery, love animals and are not averse to feeling sorry for their neighbor. If you use this wisely and don’t rush ahead, the girl’s heart will melt.

Calling at odd hours would be a mistake. It's not too late in the evening, when you're more likely to have an extra minute. Behave naturally, but not familiarly. Talking too seriously will tire you. Make jokes about any neutral topic.

Advantages and disadvantages of dating by phone

There are not many advantages in the first conversation at a distance, and they can easily become disadvantages.

To meet a girl by knowing her phone number, you don't have to look good. You don't even have to worry about whether you're dressed. The main thing in a conversation is to find a topic for discussion. However, if you look like a homeless person, you won’t feel confident even during a telephone conversation. This is how our psyche works.

Complexity prevents you from making acquaintances over the phone. The voice is trained to give it more confidence. When the caller cannot put two words together due to shyness, the girl is unlikely to wait. She immediately hangs up.

Telephone dating is not the most popular; people treat it with caution. Ladies are accustomed to assessing the stronger sex externally, and then giving an answer. We'll have to find an approach.

Information received during a mobile phone conversation may be unreliable. It is impossible to check the sincerity of the interlocutor.

Preparatory stage

Before the call, it is important to get ready and think about the topic. You may have to change several directions of the conversation until you find something that interests the lady. If possible, find out her habits, hobbies, and occupation.

Write down the main points and look at the cheat sheet when you get confused. A talent for improvisation will come in handy. A good joke or a funny incident from life can save the situation.

Dating options

You can start a conversation on any occasion:

Say a name and, depending on the answer, continue the dialogue. Say that you were mistaken, but this is a happy accident, because you have never heard such a pleasant voice.
Pretend that you are trying to reach some institution.
Ask for advice on the best place to buy clothes or a gift for your sister. You can refer to the fact that one of your mutual friends recommended contacting her on this issue.

Think about what you will say in advance. Look for a meeting place in case you manage to ask a girl out on a date.

To call or not to call

You won’t know whether the attempt will be successful until you pick up the phone and dial the coveted number. It’s not so easy to meet a girl if you only know her number and not her personally. However, it is better to regret failure than to retreat without a fight.

How to say goodbye correctly

Regardless of the outcome of the conversation, be polite. Do not hang up immediately if you hear a sharp refusal. Girls are emotional and you don't know her life situation.

End the conversation with a compliment. If the girl agrees to continue communicating, ask her out on a date or ask what time you can call. Thank you for the conversation.

Additional rules of communication

Telephone conversations have their own subtleties. To elicit a positive response:

Don't forget to introduce yourself and call the girl by name.
Do not try to conduct a long dialogue, so as not to tire your interlocutor, leave understatement. Stir up interest with regular calls, then they will wait for you.
Listen carefully, trying to catch the girl’s mood.
Do not insist on a meeting; this may be perceived as intrusiveness.

Forbidden topics will be discussions of exes and other ladies, purely male conversations about sports and technology.

Purpose of the phone call

It is important to know the purpose of the first phone call.

You could say the goal is to take her out on a date or have a good time, but those are bad goals!

The basic principle is this:

You can get absolutely everything from a girl (kisses, sex, marriage, regular meetings) if you can maintain a high level of her interest.

If you want to get EVERYTHING from a woman, then first of all you need to increase her level of interest by demonstrating that you have qualities that women like.

If you want to avoid awkward silence, you must clearly understand what to talk about with a girl on the phone.

Make a rough list of topics.

Just don’t write a script for the entire conversation; your list of topics should be more like cheat sheets rather than essays.

Just mark the usual phrases for yourself to avoid the stupid “mmm..., well, what’s new with you?” or awkward silence.

Below is a rough list of good talking points that you can use to fill any awkward gaps in conversation:

When to call first

Before you pick up your cell phone, make sure you have a few interesting conversation topics in mind. It is much easier to communicate if you know the person well. You can start the conversation by asking how your friend is doing.

You haven't been communicating with a girl for long, so you need a reason to call? Think back to your last conversation and find a topic you can return to together. For example, if she recommended a book, you can call her to tell her how much she liked it. If you are in the same class at school, ask about assignments.

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General issues

Talk about what interests her.
Discuss popular films.
Discuss your favorite TV shows.
Ask “what if” questions.
Fantasy vacation spot.
Fantasy date.
Fantastic job.
Personal and professional goals.
Discussion of music past, present and future.
Discuss your favorite foods, movies, and places to visit.
Find out what she likes to do in her free time and how often she gets to do it.
Talk about your favorite activities.
Talk about the past.
Discuss your favorite books.
What was the strangest dream she had?
Ask her about where she grew up.
Ask if she has her own company and close friends whom she completely trusts.
Find out what she did last weekend (this may give you an idea of whether she likes to party or prefers quieter evenings).

How to talk correctly?

The most important thing in a conversation with a girl on the phone, oddly enough, is to be able to listen .

Carefully monitor her reactions to a particular topic and be sure to listen to her statements to the end.

Try to intersperse funny and humorous elements , this will help keep the tone of the conversation light and pleasant and will leave a pleasant impression of you.

Ask questions, of course, not so intensely that your interlocutor feels like she’s being interrogated, but enough to eliminate your monologue.

In this way, you will let her understand that you value her opinion on this or that issue, are interested in her position, and in the future she will be much more willing to speak out on various issues and suggest topics for conversation herself.

Try to be confident, speak clearly and distinctly. Use all the capabilities of your voice, because in this case it is the only instrument of your influence on the girl.

Change your intonation, show emotions, in fact they can be heard very well on the phone. Don't speak monotonously.

Live the moment

· Ask her to describe in detail everything she sees right now.
· Talk about mutual friends, find out if you have connections.
· Offer a game in which each of you takes turns adding one word until it forms a coherent sentence.
· Ask her to describe her appearance, such as eye color, face shape, hair length.
· Ask her to describe her day as if she were telling a fairy tale.
· If she had to start her life in a completely new city, where would she go and what would she do?

Vulnerability

Ask her to tell you about the most difficult day of her life.
Talk to her about spirituality and how important it is to her.
When was the last time she listened to her inner voice?
When was the last time she actually had to work hard at something?
What does she do when she needs to clear her thoughts of various nonsense?
What makes her different from other people?
Does she consider herself needy or independent?
When an opportunity arises, does she grab it or play it safe?

Dig a little deeper

· Ask her if she would like to write a book and what it would be about.
· What song does she really like and why?
· If she could go to any store and get whatever she wanted for free, what would she grab first?
· Has she ever participated in protests?
· What, in her opinion, is the worst crime?
· Ask her to describe the most exciting sight she has ever seen.
· What does she do when faced with injustice?
· What is her signature dish or drink?
· How does she think social media has changed relationships?
· Weirdest person she's ever met?
· Has she ever acted in movies or TV shows?
· Who is her favorite celebrity?
· What does “disrespect” mean to her?
· Has she ever quarreled with strangers?
· If she could go back in time, what would she change?
· What habit would she like to break?
· If she became president, what would be the first thing she would change in the country?