Who is a sadist?
The very definition of the word “sadism” appeared because of the French writer Marquis de Sade (1740-1814). He became famous for his cruel behavior, evil character, and his works often had sexual overtones.
The Marquis De Sade gave the name to sadism
A sadist is a person who takes pleasure in the suffering of other people . Moreover, a sadist can either cause pain to other people or simply be an outside observer. Sadism is a pathological quality, as it gives pleasure through the suffering of other people.
They like to feel pain
Hands tied behind the back, a black blindfold, a gag in the mouth, buttocks cut to the point of bleeding... It seems that these photographs would rather evoke fear or pity, but in the voice of 30-year-old Yana, who lays them out on the table, there is a sound of restrained pride: “ It’s all me, albeit at different times.” The point of painful exercise is to relieve tension and feel satisfaction. Although the way masochists achieve this may seem strange to someone who is used to receiving pleasure differently.
It is difficult to believe that physical pain can be pleasant, although from a physiological point of view there is nothing surprising in this. “A person who is experiencing pain releases a large amount of endorphins into the blood,” says sexologist Irina Panyukova. “These pleasure hormones are natural analgesics that reduce pain and help the body adapt to stress. At the same time, adrenaline is released, causing vigor and excitement.”
Endorphins and adrenaline are the same hormonal cocktail for which others conquer mountain peaks and subject themselves to sports stress. “For me, experiencing pain turned out to be a kind of initiation,” says 42-year-old Eduard. — I like to explore my sensations, to withstand increasingly stronger influences. At the end of the session, I feel more than just satisfaction, I feel like a winner.”
Feeling liberated
“For me, pain is better than any meditation,” admits Yana, “I dissolve in it without a trace, at this time it is simply impossible to think about anything else. The result, in my opinion, is comparable to spiritual practices - a feeling of complete liberation, openness to life.” But the masochist’s experiences are not limited to physical pain. Many people also like to experience moral pain, taking pleasure in shame, humiliation, subordination, and in their own defenselessness and vulnerability.
“Self-denial, the ability to make sacrifices, renunciation of one’s needs - these traits are inherent to some extent in all of us, both men and women,” notes Irina Panyukova. “It is they, in contrast to extreme egoism, who make life in society possible.” But in the psyche of some people these traits are more pronounced.” Connecting with sexual needs, they bring them to the “Theme”. This is what their participants call their practices, which include pain and submission.
The rest of the relationship is “vanilla” for them. “I had a lot of vanilla relationships,” continues Yana, “but even when everything went well, there remained a vague feeling, like a slight hunger or melancholy. And only when I received my first experience of submission, I realized what I was missing.” Eduard, who has been in Tema for 15 years, describes his experiences in a similar way: “For quite a long time I could not understand what I wanted, and I chose women who themselves dreamed of obeying, but I could not give them this. Or, on the contrary, powerful, but inept, they caused me a lot of useless suffering.”
Sex without sex?
Thematic relationships may include sexual contact, but this is not necessary. “If we consider that sex is a combination of personal relationships and intense physical contact, then the Theme is already sex in itself,” notes Yana.
Sometimes the meeting participants don't even bare their clothes. 29-year-old Pavel, the “top” (the one who hurts the “bottom”), rejects the very idea of the possibility of sexual contact: “I have no doubt that my “bottoms” would like this. But the condition that makes our relationship what it is is that all power and control is concentrated in my hands. And in intercourse, partners at some point may find themselves on equal terms. This is unacceptable for our relationship.”
Just as ordinary (genital) sexual contact can take place in the absence of any personal relationship between the partners - such as sex for money - so a masochistic session can be impersonal, and then it is similar to the provision of agreed services. But sometimes partners live together and even get married, which to an outside observer is no different from a marital relationship. And just like other couples, sex may or may not be a part of their life together.
Types of sadism
Like all mental disorders, sadism has several types: physical, psychological and sexual.
Physical sadism consists of violence, infliction of physical pain, beating, suffocation. The sadist takes pleasure in inflicting physical pain on the victim.
Sometimes physical abuse can lead to serious injury and in some cases even death.
Psychological sadism involves inflicting moral suffering on the victim. Insults, humiliation, belittling of a person’s moral qualities - all this can be attributed to psychological sadism.
Ramsay Bolton is a sadist from the series “Game of Thrones”.
Typically, this type of bullying is inherent in people in leadership positions (directors, teachers, professors, civil servants).
Have you met sadists in real life?
This type of sadists is divided into two types:
- “Honest” - they always tell the negative truth to a person , watching his reaction and torment;
- “Well-wishers” - these people receive negative information about a person and, under the guise of help or in a normal conversation, use this information against the person, enjoying the emotions of the victim .
Do you know who a masochist is? The answer is in our article!
Sexual sadism is manifested in obtaining sexual pleasure by inflicting pain. Just like psychological, sexual sadism is divided into two types:
- Aggressive is the most dangerous type, which can lead to death of the victim. It includes physical and psychological abuse;
- Visual - a sadist only imagines causing violence without realizing it.
Attention: no matter what type of sadism a person suffers from, it should be remembered that it is directly or indirectly dangerous to society.
Kevin from the movie "There's Something Wrong with Kevin"
Bottom line
Basically, all people strive for love and peace in relationships. But if you take a closer look at who they actually choose as their partner, we can conclude that in fact they are not looking for sincere love, but for real suffering. Why don’t people think about the need to break up with someone who is capable of causing them suffering? Why can't they be with those who are capable of loving them and want to be with them?
They subconsciously become people who love pain. And this happens because from early childhood they felt the pain and torment that their parents inflicted on them. And, unfortunately, many people have been thinking since infancy that love should only bring pain and torment. This is why they dream of happiness and a calm relationship, but when the stage of choosing their partner comes, they still prefer those who will arouse their usual feelings - torment and pain. Childhood can define a lot; because of the events in it, people appear who love pain and suffering.
Causes of sadism
Like most human mental disorders, the roots of the disease should be sought in childhood . Dysfunctional families, children growing up in an environment of cruelty and violence get used to and adapt to this model of behavior, which subsequently affects them in adulthood.
Also, the reasons may occur for the following reasons:
- Head injuries;
- Other mental illnesses;
- Features of sexual perception;
- Hidden complexes.
What is SELFHARM, or Why Does the Desire to Cause Pain Arise?
Each person finds his own way to get rid of stress - be it a walk, meditation, watching a movie, a delicious dinner, shopping, but sometimes such methods are replaced by inflicting pain on oneself out of a desire to cope with painful emotions such as anger, anxiety, worry.
Self-harm is deliberate damage to one's body, which, in fact, most often does not help to improve one's well-being due to the subsequent feelings of guilt, regret and shame.
Self-harm is most often practiced by people suffering from depression, eating disorders, and anxiety. Self-harm manifests itself in the form of cuts, scratches, burns, skin ripping, blows to certain parts of the body, hair pulling, and the use of toxic substances.
How to recognize a sadist
Since the root of the problem may go back to childhood, it is necessary to monitor the child’s behavior. Cruelty to animals, rudeness, aggressive character - all this may indicate that in the future these negative qualities will not be revealed for the better.
As for an adult, there are obvious signs that may indicate violent tendencies:
- A person constantly humiliates in public ;
- The person lacks empathy ;
- Captures all attention to himself, but does not give it himself;
- Always looking for a reason to accuse the interlocutor of something;
- A cruel sense of humor also indicates unhealthy human behavior.
What is the reason?
What is the reason?
First of all, self-harm is a unique (and very dangerous) way of coping with emotions, painful memories, intrusive thoughts or life failures. In this case, physical pain seems to distract from mental suffering. Consciously or unconsciously, a person switches to this feeling of physical pain: the feeling of loneliness, guilt, and anxiety are dulled. This, oddly enough, is facilitated by the same substances that bring joy to a healthy person - endorphins. When released in the human body, they not only contribute to emotional upliftment, but also reduce pain. However, this is a vicious circle: after the endorphins cease and the physical pain subsides, mental wounds begin to bleed again. This forces those who are susceptible to self-harm to inflict more and more damage on themselves, and over time it simply turns into a habit.
Also, the feeling of physical pain allows a person to feel that he is still alive if he experiences depression, severe moral devastation and loneliness.
Self-harm can be caused by feelings of guilt, both real and imaginary (and in fact, who among us has not worked ourselves up over seemingly trivial matters?). A person punishes himself, experiencing an illusory sense of control over the situation.
Another reason is the need for attention, the desire to attract it. At the same time, for some reason a person cannot express his desires in a normal way, that is, declare, speak about them, or, ultimately, demand. Or they remain unheard. Often this type of damage is demonstrative: usually cuts or other wounds are hidden, in this case they can even be demonstrated on purpose, which is often a reason for blackmail.
Is it possible to cure a sadist?
How can you help a person suffering from such a mental disorder? It’s worth noting right away that there is no specific treatment for sadism . But medicine does not stand still and successfully uses methods such as hypnosis, psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, coupled with drug treatment.
In especially severe cases, the patient may be prescribed antiandrogen drugs, which dull the tendency to violence . Treatment is carried out both on an outpatient basis and in hospitals, depending on the severity of the disease.
An important criterion in cure is the patient’s role itself. A person must want to overcome his illness and make every effort to do so. Otherwise, all attempts to help will be in vain.
Why are there people who love pain?
People always become exactly the way their parents raised them. Every parent thinks that they have done everything for the happy future of their child. However, where do people who love pain come from? Why do they derive true pleasure from receiving pain? This is extremely surprising, because by their nature, all living beings dream of well-being, peace and happiness.
