Relationships are a long and difficult period, during which two different personalities come together. Sometimes it is difficult to find a common language with ourselves, let alone the people around us. It is not surprising that there are not as many happy couples, just like family unions, as we would like.
Differences in opinions, fading feelings and loss of interest are the unpleasant side of relationships. In this case, breaking them up is simply the only correct way out, which we are forced to resort to due to unfortunate circumstances.
How to break up with a girl?
An excellent video about breaking up from an experienced person in relationships and meeting girls. We recommend watching:
There is a thin, invisible line in breaking a relationship. A convincing statement of facts that allows you to stop communication once and for all, making it as smooth as possible and without unnecessary scandals. The other side, the exact opposite phenomenon, is uncertainty and cowardice, fear of offending the girl and admitting that there is no more love between you and there cannot be.
Be able to choose the right words, and knowing your chosen one, this is not difficult to do, the main thing is to calm down your ardent temper, without saying unnecessary and inappropriate remarks. You break up, and there is no longer any need to delve into each other. The honesty and openness of your explanations should finally put everything in its place, leaving no questions.
In the case of timidity and inarticulateness, it is very easy to think that your decision is a stupid mistake. Your girlfriend will try to calm you down, trying to reason with you and make you give up your intentions.
In breaking up relationships, just as in creating them, you cannot hesitate and mumble. If at the beginning, you may simply miss the chance to meet the lady you like, then at the stage of ending the relationship, you will torment yourself, wasting time and your own courage on something that no longer brings pleasure.
How to leave a girl painlessly
There are options on how to leave a girl delicately .
[1]. From the very beginning of a relationship, even before you drag a girl into bed, do not promise her mountains of gold and do not show her the seriousness of your intentions if there really are none.
Give the relationship a free, non-binding character, arguing that you like communicating with women and giving them pleasure.
In the end, open relationships, as they are also called “temporary relationships,” can almost always, if desired, be converted into serious or long-term ones.
[2]. Transition your relationship from love to friendship gradually.
What does it mean? Meet her a couple of times with the same surroundings as the previous times. Just communicate as a friend, and not as a lover (without a sexual context).
Space out the intervals between meetings by two to three weeks, citing your busy schedule. Call a girl only when you are planning to meet with her.
Only in this case will your separation be painless for her.
The girl will have pleasant memories of your relationship and of you as a sweet, interesting and decent guy who met on her life’s path.
And if after some time you want to meet with this girl, for example, to renew your relationship, then the green light will always be on for you.
How to break up via SMS?
Modern society is saturated with electronic social networks, mobile phones, and communication at any distance is not a problem. Time savings, accessibility and convenience of online correspondence sometimes surpass real, live communication. Contactless exchange of information facilitates many tasks that previously required personal presence, but now only the Internet.
The easiest, but not always effective way, since conversations of such importance are usually resolved directly. If you have only recently known each other and have not yet had time to get used to each other, then there will be no problems, but in the eyes of the girl you will seem like a coward.
Write one, large, comprehensive and competent message. Free from grammatical errors, verbal inaccuracies and omissions. After reading this, the girl should not have any questions, everything will become crystal clear.
It will not be possible to change the sent message, it will not be possible to restore the old feelings, therefore, carefully select your words and calculate possible questions, answering them in advance. Brevity is the sister of talent - it doesn’t work here, accuracy and clarity are what you need.
A selection of interesting options for ending relationships via SMS (we do not recommend writing such things):
How to stay friends after a breakup
Ending a relationship is always a difficult and difficult process for both parties. There are several ways to properly break up with a girl who loves you, as painlessly and peacefully as possible, and at the same time try to remain good friends.
Honesty, calmness and straightforwardness
Choose the most optimal place with the minimum of your common memories. Speak, looking into your eyes, everything as it lies in your heart. The most important thing is not to speak insensitively, as if the past means nothing to you. Pay your respects to the time well spent together, but let them know that you don’t need more.
No revenge
At the end of your conversation and after a certain time, do not try to say that now that you are free from each other, you love or are dating someone from your mutual acquaintances. Don't try to make people angry or jealous; there is nothing beautiful in such a stupid and childish activity.
Leaving a girl is not difficult, the real art is to remain friends after a breakup, and envy and anger are not the best helpers in this.
Don't lie about your ex
In the circle of friends and acquaintances, you should not blatantly exaggerate the shortcomings of your ex and your strengths, her weaknesses and inclinations that led to your leaving her. Sooner or later, the words spoken will reach the ears of your ex, and you will definitely never be able to be friends. In addition, a real man would not report how bad or weak-spirited a woman he came across, and even more so, would not make her an object of ridicule. Do not forget that when you judge your ex, you equally condemn yourself, since no one has forgotten your closeness.
Steadfastness
As already mentioned, firmness of intentions indicates their seriousness and steadfastness towards you. This is a well-thought-out decision that does not require additions or clarifications. Just do it the way you planned it. In the best case, you will give the impression of a determined and confident guy, after which the girl herself will not want to leave your life and will offer friendship.
No cheating
False hopes and promises for a possible meeting, that this is a temporary separation and you need to think everything over carefully - everything is not what you wanted. If you give such false hope, everything will only get worse, if not for you, then for the girl who is constantly waiting for your call to change her mind, it will definitely do harm.
To all the guys who cannot honestly admit to their beloved, even in the past, that nothing binds you anymore, I can advise you to put yourself in her place. Understand that the bitter truth will be a thousand times more pleasant than the sweet lie that gives drenching hope for the impossible.
Is your decision correct?
We move around in a circle of different people. And our taste does not always coincide with the taste of our family, loved ones, and friends. But this does not mean that we need to completely coordinate our preferences with them. It is for this reason that people often break up with friends and loved ones who are dear to their hearts. Study the following points carefully and remember them forever.
Your friends are “not into” your girlfriend. They give a lot of reasons - she’s ugly, she doesn’t know how to cook, she doesn’t allow us to communicate freely, etc. Be careful - it’s not with them, but with her that you need to share shelter. Why on earth do they make their assessments, and in general, what does their opinion have to do with it? Believe me, none of them who instills confusion in your soul will let you say a word about their passion. Rather, they are jealous of you and thus want to compare their positions.
Your family didn't like your beloved. Her own sister, mother and father treat her negatively, dislike her, and do not want to accept her into the family. Yes, it’s much more difficult here, because she and they are the dearest and closest people to you. I don’t want to lose my relationship with any of them. What to do?
If you really love your girlfriend, talk to her. Agree that she will not judge her elders. And at the same time, make it clear to your relatives that you are an adult, independent person and will choose your beloved based on your preferences. The main thing is to preserve love if there is any between you. Very soon you will really begin to live only for each other, build a family. And time plays in your favor, children will be born - the parents will immediately fall in love with the young mother and will help the young family in everything.
How to break up with a girl without hurting her
Psychologists strongly recommend that those who decide to break off a relationship in the heat of scandals and outburst of emotions not make hasty decisions. Quarrels will go away, passions will subside, but love will remain. In such a state, you can make an unforgivable mistake and regret it all your life. It is important to behave calmly and wisely and think about the issue before making an important decision. Do some light visual gymnastics.
- Imagine that you have already told your girlfriend about the breakup. Make a visual representation while staying at home all alone. What do you feel? If you feel slight discomfort and at the same time lightness, a feeling of freedom - don’t stop, break off the relationship.
- We repeat again - do not tell her about your decision over the phone or online. You will need to be patient and stock up on nerves, since most often an explanation with a girl ends in hysteria and tears. Unfortunately, there is no way without this!
What should you not do?
No matter what offends a girl, you can’t just disappear from her life. This is precisely what brings maximum mental suffering. Don't be rude, insensitive and selfish. Still, it was you who stopped loving her, and she, perhaps, also has feelings for you. Words should be firm and clear, but not cold. The coldness you feel towards her is no less offensive than rudeness.
If you want to remain friends, you should not plan friendly meetings at first, as they will not allow the remnants of feelings to fade away, especially girls have a hard time experiencing such events - they need to come to terms with the fact that it’s better not to see each other for one week and not talk at all.
Ignoring a girl so that she leaves you is also not the best solution. This is not only humiliating, but will also take some time. Provoking a scandal in order to break up here and now, on a rude note, while you hate each other is too cruel a way. A deeply loving lady can tolerate this, but you will find yourself in an extremely stupid position. Besides, I am silent about how much suffering this could bring her.
Undisguised disrespect, insult and reproaches are a mean and low way. To hurt someone else's self-esteem is the last thing an adult, intelligent person would do.
In a relationship, love alone is not enough. If you want to leave a girl, you need to do it as soon as possible. Do not try to wait for an opportunity and a comfortable date; such a separation drags on for a long time, causing discomfort.
What not to do
Along with recommendations on how to properly leave a girl, there are also things that are better not to do. For example, some guys believe that the more rudely they behave, the faster and more painless the conversation and subsequent goodbye will be for everyone. But in reality, all that remains is a damaged reputation, and instead of possible slight sadness, the girl may develop disgust and hatred.
Try to communicate within the framework of the culture, even if the reason for the breakup was the girl’s extremely inappropriate behavior. Don’t raise your voice trying to prove your point and don’t shift responsibility for what’s happening onto the girl.
You should not show your excessive indifference when organizing a meeting. Devote as much time as necessary to communication - free up these last minutes for a frank conversation. Do not make an appointment in very noisy places, and if you meet in the evening, then pay for a taxi to her home (you should not see her off, because this will add unnecessary stress).
Avoid appearing busy or uninterested - it's best to turn off your phone in advance or ask your friends not to disturb you. It would be exceptional bad manners to report a breakup while a group of friends or another girl is waiting for you. Don't end the relationship over text or over the phone. However, if you won’t be able to meet for a long time, but you don’t want to continue the relationship or keep your ex-passion in the dark, it’s better to choose a video call rather than a text message.
If you leave a girl with whom you lived together, then do not resolve housing issues unilaterally. It is better to break such meetings into several stages - first indicate your decision and agree on a meeting to jointly resolve all issues.
How to break up with a girl beautifully?
The gentlemanly thing to do is to prepare the girl for the upcoming important conversation. Approximately a few days in advance, warn her about the need for your conversation. An unexpected and abrupt cessation of communication will always cause more pain and inconvenience. On certain dates of the year that are of great importance, it is better to wait and not rush things. Dumping a girl on her birthday or New Year's is not a funny joke, but a gross insult to her as a person. Whatever the holiday, it is still a holiday, and if it is of interest to her, then this also applies to you.
It is better to choose a crowded and bright place to maintain your mood after the news. It is advisable that the meeting take place in a neutral establishment and does not arouse feelings towards your person. The people around will not allow the girl to lose her face, fall into tears or rage; they act as a deterrent to her not only from you, but also from herself. Very often, girls regret that they show guys their weakness, vulnerability and dependence on them.
Breakup scene from the movie “The Social Network”
Let her think that you are the problem and not her, even if it is not. The main thing for you is to soften the blow, and not try to change and rebuild her character. Give her compliments, speak beautifully and pleasantly, stay on top at any time. Explain your departure to her by saying that you are tired of the relationship, you want a break and a calm, single life. Or, as an option, convince her that you are absolutely not what she needs. That your love, attention, care - all this is only temporary, and you are not ready for permanent feelings and relationships.
Leaving a girl is much more difficult than starting a date. The pain of separation is easier than the joy of meeting.
Ways to leave a girl
The selection contains tips for a beautiful separation. These rules are suitable for those who want to break up with a friend quickly and easily.
READ What to do if your girlfriend leaves you
If the feelings are not mutual
Women have a hard time dealing with rejection. This is an evolutionary feature of their psychology, so an abandoned girl develops complexes. Guys who are indifferent to their partner do not worry about her experiences. They believe that the best way to leave a woman is to ignore her or simply text her. But there are men who want to look like noble knights. They part ways humanely and intelligently.
It is worth looking at your partner as a friend, a person with feelings. This will help you speak less dryly and indifferently. Pity and condescension must be discarded. In order not to offend your significant other, it is enough to show understanding, respect, and sincerity.
The main indicator of respect for a woman is a personal meeting, a conversation without accusations and attempts to make her extreme. If a girl sees that her partner tried, was worried, created an atmosphere, and chose words, she will feel a reverent attitude and will be able to let her beloved go.
How to do it beautifully
To prevent a woman from suffering, she should treat the breakup as a work project. Everything needs to be foreseen, planned and acted in stages:
- Change behavior. Eliminate sex, withdraw into yourself, frown, become silent. Suspecting that there is a crisis in the relationship, the girl will prepare for its end.
- You need to choose the moment. If a girl is celebrating an important date, then the breakup will seem unbearably offensive to her. Rejecting a person at a happy moment is cynical. She will see this as ridicule, mockery.
- Choose a location. It is better to protect a woman from loneliness at such a moment. A restaurant or cafe is suitable for parting.
- Choose words. The monologue should be structured correctly. You need to start by listing the advantages of your partner. You can admit to jealousy associated with her attractiveness and sociability, report a desire to “work up” or insist that the partners are too different. The main danger is to be drawn into an argument and lose your balance. This will lead to mutual insults. You can’t justify indifference by a girl’s external changes. If a guy reproaches a woman for gaining weight, then she will decide that the guy only loved her for her appearance.
Make her the initiator of the breakup
To do this you need to be offended for no reason. This method works well with women with complexes. They are prone to self-flagellation, so they react to causeless grievances with introspection. Girls try to remember each of their minor offenses, mentally analyze all the words spoken to their loved one.
Having convinced the girl that she is ruining the relationship, we can talk about separation. When accusing your partner, it is important to speak softly and insinuatingly - this way she is more likely to believe that she is to blame. You can generously forgive her everything and behave like a knight. The second option is to slam the door and leave without excuses.
Through correspondence on social networks
The good thing about social networks is that you can rehearse your speech and choose words as much as you like. It is possible to express feelings, delete what was sent, supplement the text with music, photos. But it's best to keep your message simple and honest, explaining the reasons for your decision.
The worst option for a long-distance breakup is to remove your partner from your friends list, to ignore her. It’s worth letting the woman talk. It will be easier for her if her ex-lover listens to her. If it is difficult to resist retaliatory insults and reproaches, then it is better not to read her texts, but just pretend. No need to block a woman. It is important to understand her pain and need to express her emotions.
There is no need to offer virtual friendship. There are many memories left on social networks that will hurt your partner. Before you delete photos together, message history and other “traces” of the relationship, you need to say goodbye. It may take time for a girl to accept the breakup and come to terms with it. It’s worth staying in touch during this period, but not giving hope.
You can remove your ex-girlfriend from your friends list by prior agreement. Months or years should not pass between the first conversation about breaking up and the removal. A few days or a week is enough. You need to be careful to choose the right moment for the final break on social networks. After this, no contact is allowed, even if the ex-partner is looking for such an opportunity.
Message options
It is better to avoid offensive phrases in the message. You should indicate the reason for your decision. We cannot give hope for a reunion. The girl needs to see the guy’s sincere regrets. You can console her, but you should not offer friendship. Few people manage to communicate closely after a breakup.
READ How to tell a guy that we are breaking up: a breakup without scandal or resentment
Several text options for SMS:
- Serious relationships are not for me yet. I don’t want you to feel bad, but I can’t continue meeting.
- I can't look into your eyes. I'm being cowardly, sorry. You're wasting your time on me, a coward. You deserve better. Sorry, we're breaking up.
- Sorry that I am contacting you via SMS. You are a magnificent woman, but right now I am not ready to continue a serious relationship. Sorry for this awkward goodbye. Thank you for being with me.
After a long relationship
Breaking a stable union is complicated by habit, the presence of common housing, children and pets. Partners feel like they are losing a part of themselves. Halves remember old conflicts.
It is necessary to stop blaming your partner and analyzing her mistakes. Having gotten rid of the burden, you need to remember the girl’s good traits, common happy moments, because before the partners liked to be together. This will help you part more calmly and look to the future with hope. People who were able to say goodbye beautifully still have a bright sadness in their souls.
It is important to skillfully resolve everyday issues. You cannot act independently, think for two. Several meetings should be arranged to discuss the division of property consistently. You need to behave with restraint.
When is it worth breaking up a relationship?
If your feelings begin to weaken and your passion disappears somewhere, it’s time to think about continuing such a relationship. In the reasons for separation lies a pointer to all those flaws and shortcomings that lead to unhappiness in life together. Every mistake should make you stronger and smarter, and if such life lessons remain ununderstood by you, then there is a risk that you will never experience a long-term and good relationship.
It’s better to say that you were wrong about her, or overestimated your own passions, than to endure and drag along a relationship that is no longer worth anything. Admitting your mistakes in a timely manner and accepting them is a trait of strong people. The weak will always try to justify their failures or, out of stupidity, mistake them for success. In your decision to leave, you need to be more than decisive and adamant.
When constant misunderstandings, quarrels and basic fatigue from each other already cross all boundaries, this is the time to break something old in order to create something new. Such moments may happen rarely and be quickly forgotten, but their appearance at all is already a guide to the weakness and fragility of such communication. The situation is only getting worse over time, giving no hope, and no one is asking for hope anymore. Such a couple needs only one thing - to find replacements for each other.
No matter how banal it may sound, youth is not eternal, and with age, finding a soul mate will be much more difficult. Relationships in youth allow you to develop the necessary skills and inclinations that will allow you to more easily cope with the difficulties of real family life in the future.
First love and first date - after such passed stages of life, it is not difficult to replace changes in a person’s character. Such necessary and powerful phenomena create in you that part of the personality responsible for the care and well-being of your loved one. Happiness does not exist without unhappiness, this is the only way it is truly valued.
Adviсe
Be prepared for the fact that you will hurt the girl very much. Do everything to reduce this pain
- The decision was taken. Now it’s important to do everything right, so as not to offend the girl. A frank conversation will be the most honest. Who knows, maybe she’s ready for it too.
- Analyze the situation. Make sure that you really do not want to continue the relationship, and this is not a spontaneous decision due to a strong attack of anger or jealousy, or a desire for revenge. Try to explain to yourself what exactly didn’t suit you in your relationship, is it possible to somehow improve it, for example, by telling the girl about what doesn’t suit you, maybe she can change.
- When talking to a girl, don’t even think about saying that she’s ugly or a bad housewife, or mentioning the defects in her figure. You can not only offend, but also cause serious psychological trauma, which will ruin her entire future life. It’s better to blame yourself, saying that you yourself are not ready for a relationship or that your feelings have cooled down.
- Be sure to thank the young lady for all the wonderful minutes spent together. Tell her that you are not worthy of her, she will have a better man.
- Don't even try to shout or make a fuss. Who knows, maybe you will decide to restore this relationship when you realize that you feel very bad without her.
- If a girl really loves you, then you will see a sea of tears, hear pleas, and hysteria is not excluded. If you have doubts, then you can try to give the girl a chance. If the decision was deliberate, then you need to remain adamant. It is best, after explanations, to go somewhere for a couple of weeks, so as not to catch her eye, to stop any contact with the girl.
It is very important that your decision is conscious and not the result of some kind of resentment or a desire to attract attention to yourself. Do not forget about the feelings of a beautiful person, her psychological health. The news of a breakup should be the least painful, and presented in such a way that the girls can survive it. Remember not to insult or blame your partner for your breakup.
