Psychologists and physiologists have long agreed that we, men and women, are not the same. Differences in the structure of the female and male brain determine the choice of profession, our preferences and our behavior, priorities, values and beliefs. We are not the result of educational influence. We are biologically programmed individuals differently, our brain cells function differently, and the very organization of our brains is still under seven seals. That's why we see the world, perceive it and react to it differently. And this predetermines the characteristics of female psychology.
The place of women in the modern world and evolution
Nature has determined the role of women in this world. Nothing has changed over many millennia: she bears, gives birth and feeds children, raises them and takes care of the safety of her home. She was and remains the “keeper of the home fire in the hearth.” Being a mother, loving and having a family were and remain her basic needs, which explain many of the features of female psychology. Failure to realize these needs makes a modern woman, who works on an equal basis with a man or has a career, feel lonely, flawed and unhappy in our world.
Manipulation
Female psychology is characterized by the fact that representatives of the fair sex are accustomed to achieving what they want in roundabout ways. Girls know how to manipulate their friends, relatives, and especially men professionally. This gift is given to everyone, and no one specifically teaches the skill of manipulation. The girl adopts behavior from her mother.
Women rarely openly ask for what they need. A multifaceted nature does not look for easy ways. It is enough for a man to listen to how his wife or girlfriend makes a request for her husband to take out the trash. It all starts with the woman starting the story with lengthy speeches about how the house should be clean, then she will list everything she does to maintain order, and then she will start talking about how the man is lazy and doesn’t do anything. undertakes for the common good. After such an introduction, any reasonable person will go take out the trash without asking any questions. A woman uses a lot of such everyday manipulations. She can even cry if necessary.
Some properties of the female brain
Yes, her brain works completely differently from a man’s. It is smaller, but has 30% more nerve connections between the hemispheres. It should also be added that the female hormone estrogen promotes the formation of more connections between them. And this leads to the fact that women have a more developed ability to switch from one action to another. She can do several things at the same time. The presence of speech centers in each hemisphere contributes to the development of her speech abilities, so she is sociable (too talkative from the point of view of men). She has a good command of words and knows how to talk about her feelings; her speech is distinguished by spontaneity and high emotionality. Her words can caress and sting painfully.
Her brain is highly active: it continuously receives, constantly sorts and analyzes information coming from the environment. Therefore, even in a state of rest, his activity drops by only 10%, and in men by 70%. The comparison is not in favor of the stronger sex (hunter and protector). Her brain never turns off: she must see at every moment what is happening around her, where her children, her husband are and what they are doing, feed and put her home in order, and even go to work. Nature made her this way, this is how she became in the process of evolution.
Features of female psychology
For the fair half of humanity, stability in a relationship with a man is a decisive factor on which their future depends. And stability should be expressed not only financially, but also psychologically.
It is important for a woman to understand that her chosen one will accept her for who she is.
Care and attention to your loved one are also signs of stability in a relationship.
The character of women is quite contradictory and ambiguous. On the other hand, the fair half is distinguished by strong empathy and insight. It's also worth noting that women tend to value more the emotional connection associated with sexual activity. Although it is still not clear whether this is due to socialization or biology. The reality is that most women enjoy long periods of companionship before giving in to their sexual needs.
Features of communication
A distinctive feature of a woman is her high sociability. Why? Her speech centers are located in both hemispheres of the brain, which allows her to have excellent command of the speaking process. Nature has entrusted it with educational and educational functions. Who would we be if it were not for communication, first of all, with our mother during the first three years of life? Fairytale Mowgli? It is unlikely that the end of the fairy tale would be so happy.
Having special speech centers, the female brain is free to perform other tasks. That’s why she can listen and speak at the same time, argue with her husband, cook dinner and follow the plot of a TV movie out of the corner of her eye. She keeps all the events around her in her field of vision, controls and... speaks. Nature seems to have put into her the need to waste a certain number of words (20,000), which she simply needs to speak in a day.
Communication is of utmost importance for women. Unlike men, it is more important for them to share their feelings and experiences than to achieve success and results. They realize themselves in communication with others.
Since the information flow between the right and left hemispheres of the female brain is more powerful than that of men, her speech is multifaceted. During a conversation, she is able to support and lead simultaneously on several topics of discussion, which leads men to misunderstanding. He loses the thread of the conversation. “Hey, stop! I didn't understand! Who or what are you talking about now?” She easily switches from one task to another, and from one topic of conversation to another.
A woman never interrupts her interlocutor, and this means showing attention and participation to him, striving to understand his problems. In general, from the point of view of men, a woman talks too much. All she needs to do is speak out, and he needs to learn to listen to her. She needs conversations with her husband like air in order to feel his closeness, attention, love and support.
Gossip
Girls love to talk. Female representatives cannot keep everything to themselves. Women are happy to talk about their successes and defeats to their friends and gentlemen. Girls want to receive support and approval from loved ones. But more than discussing their lives, the fair sex loves to rant about the lives of others.
Gossip is one of the components of any ladies' dialogue. Thanks to condemnation or approval of the actions of her acquaintances or unfamiliar people, a woman understands how she should behave in a similar situation. Discussing her neighbor's infidelities, she gathers the opinions of others. The lady draws conclusions from what she hears. If others do not condemn the neighbor’s behavior, then soon the woman herself may commit treason.
Receiving a barrage of criticism from her friends about the fact that one of the celebrities has enlarged her lips, the girl may decide that she should not undergo such an operation. Therefore, always pay attention to what the lady is discussing with you. Women rarely discuss political issues. They are used to discussing their pressing problems or those topics that are currently close to them.
Communication and interpersonal relationships
For a woman, speech is an important means of establishing interpersonal relationships. To do this, she uses not only emotionally charged words, but also the entire arsenal of her body language: expressive gestures with her hands and head, eye movements and facial expressions. The ability to emotionally empathize and sympathize here and now is a distinctive feature of her character.
She is very sensitive to the quality of interpersonal relationships, both in the family and at work. The center of her constant attention is the person, his inner world and his environment . She cannot work well if there are bad relationships in the family. She suffers if her relationships at work don't work out.
She is very sociable with those who are close to her, whom she loves, and who she likes. If she is offended, she stops communicating. “I won’t talk to you,” you can often hear from an offended woman .
Women communicate in hints and do not speak directly, which often confuses men. The fact is that this manner of communication is devoid of excessive categoricalness and, possibly, aggressiveness. After all, its goal is to maintain harmonious relationships and avoid disagreements and confrontation. But this leads to mutual understanding between women and is not suitable for communication with men. A conversation using hints may simply not take place: a husband, boss or male colleague simply will not understand what she wants to say. “Do you yourself understand what you’re talking about?” asks the husband. And the boss won’t ask, but will think about it.
An important aspect of communication is the ability to listen and respond emotionally to the information received, which is expressed in facial expressions. Listening, she seems to reflect the state of her interlocutor. It is difficult to imagine a woman listening to her husband, children or her friend with an impassive face. She gets the real meaning of information from the facial expressions and intonation of her interlocutor.
But the negative side of a woman is her inability to forgive insults. She never forgets them. If she quarrels with her friend, then most often the relationship is broken off forever. She can forgive her husband’s betrayal, but never forget it. This is how they are, representatives of the weaker sex.
What kind of men do the weaker sex like?
Most often, men make the first step in a relationship. However, they often choose the woman who has not only already paid attention to him, but has also created all the conditions for rapprochement.
Therefore, initially the representative of the stronger sex needs to attract attention to himself in order to make a positive impression. To do this, you should take into account exactly what qualities women value in their “knights”.
- intelligence and speech;
- the ability to get things done;
- human qualities (nobility, honesty, ability to sympathize, etc.);
- smile;
- gait and posture.
Now let's look at these characteristics in more detail.
Thus, the high intelligence and extraordinary mind of a representative of the male half of humanity very often overshadow even his appearance. After all, there are quite a lot of cases where students are carried away by their teachers, despite the large age difference. Research by sexologists says that high intelligence in a man often causes physical attraction.
Mind is power
Speech is considered the outer manifestation of the mind. It is known that a woman loves with her ears. Low intelligence often leads to a limited vocabulary, problems with pronunciation, frequent use of “parasite” words and hackneyed phrases. When meeting a girl, she initially listens carefully to her interlocutor to determine what he is like and how interesting it is to be with him.
Purposefulness and perseverance are usually considered to be manifestations of a truly masculine character. A man who achieves his goals, including a woman’s affection, is almost always successful. However, in this case it is very important not to cross the line between persistence and importunity.
Among human qualities, reliability is highly valued. Perhaps this is one of the main characteristics that is really important for women. After all, each of them dreams of at least sometimes feeling like a fragile and gentle creature who has a solid and reliable shoulder nearby.
The ability to listen and empathize are also equally important in order to impress the object of your admiration.
Organizational skills
The ability to organize life around herself was given to her by nature; for centuries she was responsible for life within the family circle, raised and raised children, and took care of her husband. This predetermines their employment in teaching activities. The vast majority of teachers at the school are women. Her desire to improve everything around her is in her blood. It is very important for her that her children are well-groomed, that her husband looks good, that her home is comfortable and beautiful. Hence her irrepressible desire to reorganize the environment, as well as unsolicited advice to her husband on improving something in him, given at the wrong time.
Mindfulness and intuition
Women are distinguished by highly developed intuition. This inexplicable feeling has been honed over centuries and was inherited from her maternal ancestors. She incomprehensibly feels the approach of trouble or disaster. Very often in her actions she relies on her intuition, which never fails her.
Attention to minor details and little things in the relationships and behavior of people around her are important properties of the female psyche. Perhaps they are the basis of intuition. One look or word is enough for her to catch and analyze what feelings a person is experiencing in order to understand in a matter of seconds what is happening to him. Especially if it concerns her partner.
Love psychology of women
Women's psychology in relationships does not allow sex without love. In men, most often it is the opposite. They seriously fall in love after sex.
It is very difficult for women to survive the betrayal of a loved one; they practically cannot bear mental pain. Girls can hold a grudge for years, even if they have forgiven, but will not show it. Guys simply forget about grievances. Women can remind their beloved about all the mistakes he made, not because they are harmful, but just in case.
Every girl, even if she doesn’t talk about it, dreams of meeting her one and only chosen one and falling in love with him for life. Often a woman expects the same from a man, but does not always get what she wants.
Many men are irritated by possessive tendencies in women. The beloved asks not to look at other women, and to communicate less with them. A girl will be calm only in one case, when the guy makes it clear that he will not exchange her for another. And if a guy made a promise and then broke it, then the more difficult it is for a girl to survive the betrayal, the longer the emotional wounds will heal.
Men often see relationships as temporary. They declare their serious intentions if they imagine themselves in the future with this particular woman. Therefore, it is easier for men to cope with a breakup.
High emotionality
Women are very emotional by nature. They perceive all events in life and relationships through the prism of emotions, which, under the influence of hormones, change dramatically over the course of a month. The same event can sadden and inspire, cause despair and become a stimulus to action. She may cry and then laugh a few minutes later. Men accuse women of inconstancy, since in her behavior she is more often guided by feelings than by logic. Indeed, because of her emotionality, it can be difficult for her to objectively assess a real event, since the degree of experience may be too high. They perceive rudeness from men especially painfully and acutely.
Behavior in a stressful situation
If any difficulties arise, her brain is not able to brush them aside: she will return to them again and again, mentally chewing on the unpleasant events. She won't sleep if she doesn't talk it out. There is only one way to get rid of this - to say out loud everything that irritates her and thereby relieve tension and stress. It is in the process of speaking that she finds solutions to her problems. She thinks out loud.
When faced with a stressful situation, she needs to talk about it with someone who is able to listen, whom she trusts, and with whom she can share her emotions. That is why it is so important for her to have close people, to feel their love and support. By talking about the problem, she begins to understand and see it from all sides. Without finding a solution, she can put the burden of other people's problems on her shoulders. This helps her cope with her feelings.
Compassion
Female psychology for men is a mystery. Guys can't sympathize with everyone. But for a girl this is not a problem.
Out of compassion, she may take an unfortunate kitten from the street. The girl will wash and feed her pet. Her reward will be the thought that she is helping an unfortunate animal.
Some ladies do the same thing with men. They choose the most notorious klutz and try to transform his life. A woman can take him to her apartment and give him all the comforts. Your happiness in this situation does not play a primary role. The girl will not worry too much about being embarrassed or eaten out. After all, the man is happy, and that’s enough. Such dedication and self-sacrifice seems strange, but girls can do a lot of stupid things out of compassion.
Love and relationships
Love occupies a special place in the life of the beautiful half of humanity. Yes, this need is extremely important for every woman: to feel loved and to love. Unlike male passion, it can burn for many years and warm marital relationships with its warmth. And this is always expressed in her admiration for her chosen one, fidelity and patience. It is important for her to know that she is not alone, and at any moment a loved one will be nearby. She needs his tenderness, attention, understanding and approval like air. Showing tenderness is not sex at all: it is words of encouragement, affectionate hugs, light kisses. She is like a child, constantly needs physical contact. But sex for her without love and tenderness is a painful, unsatisfying activity. A woman has an inexhaustible potential for love. If a man has disappeared from her life, confused and having lost any guidelines, she transfers her love to her children and then her grandchildren, giving them all her unspent tenderness.
Sacrifice
Features of the female character are endless patience and dedication. In youth, a woman is more likely to sacrifice herself, adapting to the needs and desires of her partner. Having fallen in love, she is ready to devote her entire life to her beloved, to sacrifice everything for the sake of her children and family. She puts all the burdens of family life and the difficulties of family relationships on her shoulders. She is too sacrificial at the beginning of a relationship and is not able to immediately outline the boundaries of permissible dedication. For her, family comes first. She is ready to help everyone at any time. This is often taken for granted by husbands and children. A mistake made by many representatives of the fairer sex is to completely dissolve themselves in the role of mother and wife.
But when you first give, sooner or later you begin to feel unhappy and dissatisfied with your family relationships. Resentment arises. Most women humble themselves and endure for the sake of people close to them.
Living for the sake of others
Despite all the selfishness and books on female psychology that say that all girls are bitches, the fair sex knows and knows how to live for the sake of others. Any woman is a potential mother. She will do anything for her child. She will not even be sorry to give her own life.
Women can work 2 jobs just to buy a new car for their son or buy a beautiful dress for their daughter. A girl may sacrifice her education because caring for her elderly parents will be more important. Many wives do not leave their alcoholic husband for the reason that they worry that the husband will not be able to bear the burden of his problems alone. A woman is essentially an altruist, she gives her life to others and does not demand anything in return.
Age crises and variability of character
There is nothing permanent on earth. This also applies to a person who, according to experts in developmental psychology, experiences age-related crises every seven years and changes. Women's psychology is even more changeable than men's. Depending on the hormonal background, it changes throughout the month. Any significant event in life is emotionally experienced and leaves a deep mark on her soul. Over the years, the balance of hormones shifts towards increasing testosterone. Character, behavior, communication patterns and expressions of emotions change. But her psychology is distinguished by incredible flexibility and the ability to adapt to new, sometimes extremely difficult conditions and situations.
Conclusion. Each property of a woman’s psychology can be viewed from both a positive and negative side. Men's knowledge of them can help in establishing harmonious relationships in the family, and for her to understand herself and be more successful and happy. According to established ideas, a woman is an emotional and sensitive creature, impressionable and soft, obedient and caring. What is a man like? He is decisive, brave, smart and strong - in a word, courageous. But how many qualities do a modern lady have from a woman, and how many from a man?
How to speak. Advice for women and more...
Dear ladies! As mentioned above, communication occupies the most important place in your life. The means of communication is speech. Every word is associated with a thought. Words have magical powers: they can create and destroy. You say a huge number of words in a day. What you put into them influences your feelings, behavior and actions. Voiced thoughts determine everything that happens to you and how. Your subconscious mind perceives every word as a command to action. With your statements, you are unwittingly programming yourself for success or failure in life. Watch your speech and do not make negative statements, especially about yourself or your loved ones. If you think that you are unlucky in life, and even periodically repeat such thoughts out loud, then so be it. As they say, whatever you want. If you think negatively about men (scoundrels and scoundrels), then only such specimens will come across your path. Endless complaining and whining will not make you happy.
If you notice that your friend has a caring husband, smart and obedient children, and she herself is beautiful, then you are captured by envy. And why is she so happy? Your business is bad! With your thoughts and words you are creating a program of self-destruction for yourself. You compare yourself to others and unconsciously accept your worthlessness as an indisputable fact. Wise minds say: “If you want to live happily, never compare.” And it is no coincidence that all world religions consider envy a mortal sin. Therefore, do not compare and do not envy, rejoice in what you have and do not suffer because of what you have not yet received. Remember, with your negative thoughts and words you are killing yourself and the people close to you.
Peculiarities of women's psychology and vulnerabilities of female nature
This chapter is from the book “Designed to Be a Woman” Read more »
Women's nature is multifaceted and multifaceted. A woman can do a lot. To amaze with beauty, to bear and give birth to a child, to cook a very tasty dish... And this is only a small fraction of what she can do.
She can create paradise in a hut - and an unprepossessing home will become the most comfortable place on Earth. Or it could be the other way around – turn the huge mansions into a boring museum.
She can raise soulful children, or she can raise soulless tyrants. If she wants, she can turn an alcoholic and parasite into an exemplary family man. Or maybe vice versa - turn a great guy into an appendage to the TV. Tremendous power is hidden in feminine nature. The only question is how to use it. After all, electricity can illuminate dark streets, or it can kill a person. The same goes for feminine strength. You can inspire and give birth, or you can saw and gnaw. There’s even this joke: “What’s so terrible a woman can do? Well, ruin your mood, ruin your life... And that’s it!”
However, female nature has a number of features that significantly complicate the lives of not only women, but also men. This is how God intended it. Probably to balance beauty and power of influence. Despite the fact that in all treatises women are described as beautiful flowers along with children, there is a fly in the ointment.
In the Vedas there are these words: “A woman is twice as hungry, four times more fearful, six times more impudent, eight times more lustful.” In modern society, such a phrase will immediately be misinterpreted. And women, whose self-esteem is already below par, will again feel somehow flawed. Therefore, this phrase needs to be revealed and explained. It gives the key to understanding most women's problems and difficult situations.
Let's take a closer look.
A woman is twice as hungry.
What does it mean? Does this mean that a woman needs to eat 2 times more than a man? Not at all.
In the Vedas, women are compared to children. Children want to eat more often than adults. They are not forced to wait half a day until the big dinner. They are fed 4-5 times a day, or even more often. Feed with sweets between meals. The same applies to women.
Women need to eat little but often. A woman needs to be pampered with delicious food. Everyone has their own, it’s delicious. Some people like vegetables, some like fruits, some like candy. Try to notice how your mood changes when you feel slightly hungry. And how it immediately improves after a little chocolate. By the way, this is why there is some kind of food in every woman’s bag. Chocolate, candy, apple...
Hunger isn't just about food. We also find it difficult to control our hunger for communication or relationships. That’s why single women attack interested men so furiously. And they hang all their hopes, aspirations and aspirations on them. All your hunger for close and confidential communication.
And it is women who suffer greatly from monotony and routine. It is women who always lack some impressions, they get tired of everyday life and suffer from the “mother hen in a robe” syndrome. A man can easily live an ordinary life day after day. Go to the same job for thirty years, live in the same apartment and not even go on vacation. And a woman’s soul is always hungry for impressions and new emotions.
It is also important for us to saturate ourselves with beauty and comfort. Vivid emotions. New impressions. Different tastes. Beautiful views. Warm conversations. Fragrant flowers.
Four times more fearful.
Women have much more fears and concerns. Fear of heights, fear of depth, fear of small spaces, fear of insects, fear for loved ones, fear of losing beauty…. The list goes on and on.
In addition, women know how to trick themselves professionally. So in one of the Soviet films, the heroine burst into tears after a love scene. And she said that she imagined their entire life together, their child and what happened to him later. A woman can easily make a mountain out of a mountain. And then she herself is afraid of him.
In addition, physiologically a woman is weaker. And before, women were always protected. First the father, then the husband, then the son. A man can give the most important thing in a woman’s life - a sense of security. And this is the best foundation for her. On the basis of which it can open up, develop and create.
Unfortunately, now women are often deprived of this foundation. Many are unmarried, many are raising children alone. And sometimes a woman finds herself defenseless next to a man. If he is not ready or does not want to take responsibility. This is not uncommon in the modern world.
But it’s not all bad – everyone has a chance. More precisely, each one.
So, if a woman is not protected, then she is forced to take care of herself. She has to work, earn money, feed her family, and satisfy the needs of all its members. And due to the fact that she is four times more fearful, she has to become...
Six times more sassy.
It is thanks to “chutzpah” that single mothers can achieve great heights in business. Women are forced to strive for survival, and their stakes are so high that they are ready to do anything. They take on any job and do it very well. Better than many men. Motivation is much higher, determination and audacity are off the charts.
It is these women who are usually called strong. Strong-willed, decisive, courageous, purposeful, successful. In a word, bright carriers of “solar” energy. Or simply “impudent”.
When I worked as an HR manager, we even had an unspoken selection rule. That women who have children but no husband work best. Then they give 200% productivity and 300% loyalty.
It is the lack of security - external or internal - that forces a woman to take risks and move forward, that is, to become more impudent. This is how the so-called “Russian women” are born, who will stop a galloping horse and enter a burning hut.
For all this power, a woman pays a “meager price” - her femininity and female happiness.
“Insolence” does not allow a woman to rely on anyone, even if suddenly there is someone to rely on.
“Insolence” will not allow her to relax for a second, even if someone promises to monitor the situation based on fires in the huts.
And this same “impudence” will not let her feel happy. Because a woman's happiness begins where she can trust. Rely completely. Relax... And trust the flow.
Eight times more lustful.
At this point, men usually rub their hands, believing that this point speaks of sexual insatiability. I hasten to disappoint. Lust in this case is any material desire. Not only and not so much sexual, but the desire for new dresses, new curtains and so on.
Women always need something. A bachelor is able to sleep on the floor, eat from one plate, and live without curtains or carpet. A woman can never have enough.
Having bought one apartment, she is already dreaming of a larger apartment. Having filled one closet with dresses, she dreams of a huge dressing room. She needs new curtains every year. And it is advisable to change your outerwear every season. And every lady should have at least 10 pairs of shoes.
Men are much more unpretentious - they can wear the same suit for 20 years (I have such examples). And they need to be forced to update their jackets and shoes. Because they are able to wear things until they completely deteriorate.
We women need to learn to be happy with what we have. Don't chase someone. Don't strive for everything to be like everyone else. Don't buy everything around. It's healthy to want a lot. When you can be happy with what you already have. Then it's stimulating. Otherwise, it destroys.
Thus, a woman needs to remember her four weak points:
- About the fact that she always needs to saturate her body with different tastes and impressions. That is, actively take care of yourself and feed yourself delicious food on time.
- That she needs to let men take care of her. Learn to ask for help, rely on them - even if they are not able to lend a shoulder in time the first time. Give them another chance anyway.
- That she needs to stop doing everything herself. Stop putting out fires and catching horses. Stop pushing your way through with your chest. Stop fighting for any rights. And learn flexibility and fluidity. The river has enormous power. And this strength lies precisely in fluidity.
- That sometimes her material desires, with their wild growth, prevent her from feeling happy. And learn to enjoy what you already have.
The most important weapon a woman has is her nature. Because a woman, with her character, her devotion, can change the surrounding space and the people around her.
A loving, devoted female heart can turn an irresponsible loser into a real hero. There are plenty of examples of this. And truly, behind every great man there is always an equally great woman. Who believed in him and inspired him.
I wish each of you to become just such a great woman, next to whom is a truly great man.
