Features of the psychology of a child at 7 years old, how to properly raise boys and girls?

At the age of 7 years, a child experiences a crisis in his life. This coincides with the fact that he goes to school and meets other children and teachers. And in order to reduce this period to a minimum, parents should read this useful article: 7-year-old child, psychology of boys.

What happens to the child?

Children are faced with a new daily routine and are exposed to interesting information that changes their usual outlook on life. At the age of 7, a boy gets rid of naivety, becomes more mature, argues with his parents, defending his point of view. He begins to develop self-esteem, he is already interested in how he looks and what he is wearing.

There is a desire to correspond to the person whom he considers to be an authority figure. The child begins to perform meaningful actions. His physiology, perception of the world, behavior, relationships with other people change. Parents must help their son so that he can painlessly go through this difficult path of entering adulthood. If for some reason mom or dad cannot influence the boy, they need to find a psychologist for a 7-year-old child.

Psychological development 9 years

• Boys grow noticeably and sometimes become 8-10 cm taller than girls. The volume of the chest increases. Muscles develop dynamically thanks to regular physical activity. Girls' shapes begin to gradually round out.
• The mental development of male children is noticeably accelerated. Boys of this age read a lot. Therefore, their active vocabulary contains many complex words. But, unlike girls, they find it difficult to concentrate both in class and at home. They are quite distracted, floating in their dreams.
• Reluctance to do homework often drives parents crazy. In addition, the boy often gets bad marks for his inattention. But he doesn't care much about grades. The child is either overly confident in himself or experiences something like depression, having lost faith in his importance.
• The opinion of the boy’s friends plays a huge role. If someone suddenly decides to play a little joke on a child, he may even throw a tantrum, unable to control his anger. Mood swings at this age are a completely natural phenomenon. The child either jumps with joy and enthusiasm, or closes in on himself for unknown reasons.
• As for girls, their studies are much easier. They are calm and attentive in class. Raising girls at this stage does not create any inconvenience. They love to attend drawing, singing, and dancing lessons; they have a keen sense of beauty and are drawn to it with joy.
• There are no sharp growth spurts among girls. Their time will come with the beginning of the menstrual cycle. In the meantime, their body is conserving strength until this hour. For some, “adult life” will begin in a year. Modern children are developing much faster than previous generations.

Psychological characteristics of children at 7 years old

Upon reaching the age of 7, boys and girls go to school. They are going through a difficult period; they will have to adapt to certain rules of the educational institution, meet new people, and do homework. At first, it will be very difficult for children to get used to the role of a student. They will return to their usual games and miss their favorite cartoons.

It will take about 2 weeks for the boy to adapt and change his inner mood. He will already be captivated by games with his classmates. He will feel like a member of society, he will be upset that as an adult, he still needs to obey his parents.

The psychology of an 8-year-old boy allows him to behave very actively. He argues with adults, imitates them in order to once again draw attention to himself. Seven-year-olds are very emotional, get irritated for any reason, often get offended, and get tired quickly. They may suddenly become aggressive, and 10 minutes later they will withdraw into themselves and not talk to anyone.

Boys have a very different psychological mindset from girls. The child becomes clear about the difference between the sexes. He gets acquainted with information about his purpose and begins to take an interest in his appearance. He likes narcissism, he lives in fantasies, so he often compares himself to a character from a cartoon series.

Seven-year-olds begin to change their attitude towards their parents. They no longer see them as their authority. During this difficult period, the teacher becomes the main person in their life. After all, he does not raise his voice, does not punish over any little thing, and certainly does not raise his hand.

Features of attention

This mental feature is the most important; the learning process is based on attention. Previously, children could not concentrate on monotonous actions, but at seven years old this is not an impossible task. But involuntary attention continues to lead. Any stimulus can serve as a distraction. The average duration of concentration is 10–20 minutes. Difficulties arise with switching attention between tasks. Children are individual, each one develops attention differently. Some can quickly switch from task to task, but are unable to maintain attention for a long time. Others may meticulously, very carefully work on a solution, but take a long time to switch to solving the next problem.

The properties of attention are not equally amenable to training and development, but they can and should be developed. This must be done in order not to let this process take its course. Only by the age of 9–10 can you count on perseverance and concentration, which will allow you to complete tasks for a long time. Until this time, voluntary attention will prevail, switching to an external stimulus. Because of this mental property, the best way to deliver educational material is through colorful aids and materials.

Recommendations for development:

• games of dominoes, lotto;
• search for drawn identical objects depicted in the same picture;
• searching for differences between two pictures that are identical at first glance.

The difference between boys and girls from a psychological point of view

Psychology of an 8-year-old girl child: the child becomes assiduous, calm, neat, and focused. She is a good student and behaves appropriately. Girls begin to share secrets, they become interested in boys, and in the absence of reciprocity they become very upset. Girls are attracted to dancing and handicraft clubs. The mood is always balanced, they agree with everything and fulfill the tasks assigned to them.

Psychology of an 8-year-old boy: the child is very active, constantly sees competition among his peers. They brag to each other about their knowledge of military equipment or weapons. Their emotional state is unstable, they do not know how to hide their feelings, so they can burst into tears over any little thing. They are only interested in those games whose rules they know and understand. It is almost impossible to teach them to be neat; they cannot withstand monotonous work and perseverance during a lesson.

The psychology of an 8-year-old child is structured in such a way that he needs authority. He needs a person whom he will look up to and try to look like. Boys look for them among their peers and in frequent cases they become children who are not the best behaved.

How to develop a child at 7-8 years old

It is recommended to build the development of a child in the 8th year of life in 4 areas:

• Physical development. Includes daily exercises, a walk outside, and a visit to the sports section. Ideally, you can organize family events related to physical activity (biking, skiing, forest walks, family sports competitions, joint games);
• Intellectual development. Invite your child to solve various puzzles, crosswords, read encyclopedias, stories together, discussing the plot, interesting events and objects, conduct experiments at home, introduce the secrets of cooking, etc. The development of a child’s intellect is influenced not only by the knowledge he receives at school, but also experience, knowledge about everyday objects, interesting events.
• Aesthetic development. Museums, theaters, circuses, exhibitions, etc. At 7-8 years old, it is important to develop in a child a love of beauty, show him the beauty of paintings and sculptures, introduce him to the theater, opera, ballet, and instill the desire to explore his inner world through contact with art .
• Emotional development. At 7-8 years old, a child can already distinguish many emotions well, but cannot always correctly understand irony, sarcasm, and hidden feelings. Teach your son and daughter to see the difference between different emotions, look at any situation from different points of view, and find the “right” course of action. Children's films, cartoons, and books will help you with this, where, using the example of the main characters, you can analyze many similar situations from the life of a child.

A child of 7-8 years old is a small person who is able to delve into almost all the intricacies of relationships, can draw his own conclusions, and be critical of events. During this period, it is important to gradually get used to the idea that your son or daughter is growing up, taking small steps closer to understanding the world around them from the point of view of an adult.

How can parents understand that their child is in crisis?

The child tries in every possible way to become an adult, and for this purpose he goes against his parents and contradicts all established rules. In order for parents to understand whether their son is in a state of crisis or not, it is necessary to observe his behavior. If his actions have changed, he has become withdrawn, irritated, it means that a difficult period is going on in his life.

Behavior of children indicating the presence of a crisis in their life:

• does not consider elders;
• insults and shouts at parents;
• does not pay attention to his favorite toys;
• often resists;
• imitates elders;
• behaves aggressively, throws things around, enters into conflict situations with peers.

All that is required of parents during this difficult period is to have patience and endurance. The main thing is to be able to understand your son, allow him to be free and participate in solving family issues. For support, you can use the services of a psychologist for a child 8 years old.

Features of the educational process

It was previously stated that at this age the authority of the family circle gradually decreases. Interpersonal relationships among peers come to the fore.

At this moment, it is important for parents to maintain their child’s self-esteem and in every possible way instill confidence in their own abilities, celebrating his uniqueness and individuality. This position has nothing to do with the unreasonable encouragement of any actions of a child

Mother and father should praise the child for his useful, good actions. Parents need to find their child’s strengths and celebrate them in him. Both the father and the mother should equally be actively involved in raising the child.

Mom's support is more important for daughter

This support contributes to several positive trends:

• the child feels more comfortable in society;
• it is easier for him to withstand battles with external pressure;
• the child is full of enthusiasm and self-confidence, which means his successes are multiplied;
• the connection with the family is not lost: the boy or girl understands that his/her parents are his/her friends, his/her reliable support;
• the level of trust between family members increases, parents will always be aware of the child’s events, thereby being able to correct the course of events and prevent the negative consequences of various situations.

Children of this age try in every possible way to blend in with their peers: in terms of external parameters, areas of interest, and demeanor. If dad and/or mom try to limit the freedom of choice of a 9-10 year old child, then the child will be hostile to such attempts

Therefore, it is so important to give that freedom, that breath of independence and independence that will allow the child to feel almost like an adult, he must give him wings. Elementarily, by assigning some responsibilities around the house to the child (cleaning his own room, washing dishes or watering flowers in a timely manner), parents will receive a return

The child will be sincerely grateful for such trust and will try in every possible way to live up to expectations, since he was given the opportunity to be equal in the family circle.

Father's support is the main thing for a 9-10 year old boy

Such comments can completely discourage desire and lower self-esteem.

At this age, children pay great attention to their performance at school. They are worried about their studies, competition between students is increasing

Junior grades are already behind us, the workload is increasing. Parents should pay special attention to this point.

It is necessary to communicate with teachers more often and help the child with homework.

Children's pranks at this age do no harm

And, perhaps, the last aspect is the features of the educational process in unfavorable situations when the child is naughty. Prepubescent age is characterized by minor pranks that do not cause significant harm to others. Most often, young people like to climb fences, trees, and run in the park without a break. Even if a dirty trick has occurred (for example, hooligan doorbells or something else was committed by a child), then you should not scold the child. Even if his upbringing is condemned by strangers. It is necessary to maintain a trusting relationship with him. The best way out of the situation is to give the youngster an active boost through games in which as many people as possible will be involved (searching for treasure in the garden, for example). It is best to introduce boys to some kind of sport.

What are the reasons for the changed character and behavior of children?

Psychology of a 6-year-old child: girls and boys believe that if they have crossed the threshold of school, it means they have entered the path of adulthood. They try to find solutions themselves and act as they see fit. If parents force them to do something they don’t like, seven-year-olds may resist. The reason for this behavior is a change in values, a different perception of the world and an awareness of one’s purpose in society.

Various external factors influence children's mood. Sometimes behavior may not be at all appropriate for a particular situation. And all because of the desire to get rid of mental influence from parents and thus assert oneself. This problem occurs more often with boys.

The psychology of raising 8-year-old girls requires virtually no effort. They are more restrained and are rarely aggressive, showing inadequacy to others. Also, a child’s unstable psyche may be caused by the desire to be a leader. The seven-year-old wants to be like his favorite movie hero, who always solves his problems by using force.

Sometimes children perceive the world around them as a threat. They fearfully wait for some trick from their parents or peers. And there is only one way out of this situation - an attack. And in order not to be punished after this, they begin to behave very emotionally, trying to protect themselves in this way. Children who lack parental affection become rude to elders and offend classmates.

Girls are more obedient than boys

In early childhood, girls are indeed more obedient. This is programmed by nature. Women are better at adapting to their environment than men.

This phenomenon is well illustrated by observations of twins. Identical twin boys (with the same genotype), even if they were separated in childhood and grew up in different environments, will still be very similar to each other. And identical twin girls, under different conditions of upbringing, can differ significantly from each other (for example, they gain weight or lose weight within a wider range). If the living conditions are the same, then even fraternal twin girls can become in many ways similar to each other.

But in adolescence the picture changes somewhat. And a group of boys follows the instructions of their elders more obediently than girls. Teenage gangs, with their strict hierarchy, mostly consist of boys.

Raising a 6-7 year old boy: advice from a psychologist

The psychology of raising a 7-year-old girl is significantly different from the psychology of raising a boy. The latter grow up faster and become interested in observing the world around them. They try to delve into every situation, express their opinion, and enter into conversation with an adult. If they do not achieve what they want, they begin to show aggression and speak rudely to adults.

This behavior terrifies parents. But a certain amount of time will pass and the boy will become calm, his behavior will begin to change for the better. The boy will gain independence and will begin to respond more calmly to his parents’ comments.

How to raise a 7-year-old boy, advice from a psychologist:

1. You can't make fun of his mistakes.
2. Do not call him by his pet name in front of people.
3. Find time to talk with your son and give clear answers.
4. Show affection and approve of actions.
5. Turn to him for help, do household chores together.
6. Don't focus on his failures.
7. Praise your child, even for no reason.
8. Show joy for every achievement.
9. Do not dissuade him from his decisions.
10. Allow him to decide on his favorite hobby.
11. React strictly to his bad actions (it is necessary that the father does this).
12. Don't scold him for crying, boys need to let out their emotions too.
13. If a child independently admits to a bad deed, there is no need to condemn him.
14. Always take your child’s side, protect him from peers and teachers.
15. Teach to love books, teach them to read those works where the main character is a man.
16. Never humiliate a child in front of other people.
17. Boys need to talk to men more, this will be a good experience in the future.

If parents understand the psychology of a boy at the age of 8, they will be able to take the child’s behavior seriously and more easily survive the difficult moment of growing up. The boy needs time to understand his inner feelings. He needs to be given freedom, surrounded with warmth and love.

Raising a 6-year-old child: the psychology of a boy in a moment of crisis:

When raising a 7-year-old boy, the advice of a psychologist should be taken into account by parents:

• do not consider the boy your property;
• do not raise your voice, do not force, remove any violence;
• give your son the opportunity to find solutions himself;
• listen to his opinion, talk, give answers to questions of interest.

The psychology of raising a 6-year-old girl is the complete opposite of the psychology of a boy at the same age. The latter do not want to listen to their parents. And in order to somehow improve relations, the commanding tone should be completely eliminated. The conversation should take place on equal terms. You should not impose your thoughts and actions on him. If a boy has no desire to attend a sports school, there is no need to force him, he must be given the opportunity to choose his hobby himself, even if it is dancing or a handicrafts group.

Mistakes in raising boys

It seems that you are doing everything right, raising a real man, devoting a lot of time to your son. But he studies poorly, fights at school, skips classes, is rude, and argues. In this case, look for the reason, first of all, in yourself.

What could you be doing wrong?

1. Listen to the advice of your parents and grandparents. Previously, children were raised completely differently than they are now. And the principles of upbringing of yesteryear may not be suitable for modern children. If you need advice and help, it is better to contact a psychologist or listen to seminars by famous specialists in the field of child psychology.
2. Choose friends for your child. Of course, you are afraid that your son will fall under the influence of bad company. But by prohibiting communication with other children, you only make things worse. The forbidden, as you know, attracts, so your son will spite you to communicate with those with whom he wants. Give him the opportunity to choose his friends himself. After all, perhaps your best friend will not be a bully, as you thought, but a devoted and faithful comrade for many years.
3. Threaten with physical punishment. The use of force is unacceptable, no matter what offense the boy has committed. Any issues must be resolved peacefully, through constructive dialogue.
4. Tell lies. Children are sensitive to when parents are pretending or lying. If you want an honest relationship, never deceive your son.
5. You impose your model of life. A child is not your property, he is an independent person, and he has the right to make his own choices. Some parents try to make their unfulfilled dreams come true with the help of their children. They don’t think that they can ruin the life of their own son, because he will not be doing his favorite thing, but what his mom and dad imposed on him. There will be no tragedy if a boy suddenly appears in a dynasty of lawyers who wants to become an artist. Give your son the opportunity to independently choose the path in life that he will take with pleasure, and not under your pressure.
6. Quarrel in front of your child. Even if the boy is enthusiastically reading, watching an interesting movie or doing his homework, he notices how mom and dad are sorting things out. Children copy the behavior of their parents, and in the future they will treat the opposite sex the way a father treats his mother. Respect each other, make pleasant surprises, say kind words. Let the child grow up in an atmosphere of love and harmony, and in the future he will most likely be as happy in family life as mom and dad.

Raising children is not easy, but parents can do everything possible to ensure that their son grows up to be a real man.
If serious difficulties arise, you can contact a psychologist who will help you find a way out of any situation. leave a comment

School of Courage

If you seriously think about your son’s future, then you should not control his every step. Although, of course, each parent determines the level of risk himself, based on his own character characteristics and the psycho-physical characteristics of the child. One of my friends, truly an iron lady, is raising her sons according to the model of the ancient Spartans. A two-year-old baby stomps next to her up the mountain under the scorching sun. And it’s a little, a lot of one and a half kilometers to the top! And she goes far away to swim together with her older brother, who himself, like Nekrasov, has just “passed the sixth”... I’m scared to even hear about this, but she believes that it’s simply impossible to raise our sons any other way.

But I think that most mothers do not like this approach. Isn't it better to prefer the golden mean?

First, make a trip to the playground and watch the children walking there under the supervision of their fathers. Notice how much calmer fathers are when their children fall. They do not discourage their sons from a dangerous place, but help them overcome difficulties. And they encourage you instead of stopping you and pulling you back. This is the male type of response that is lacking in the upbringing of today's boys.

In general, fathers usually have an easier time managing their sons than mothers. It is a fact. But the explanations given to him are different. Most often, wives say that their husbands see their children less often, encounter them less often in everyday life, and their sons have “less allergies” to them. But I am convinced that this is something else. If a child has a normal relationship with his mother, he is only happy when she is at home more. And he doesn’t have any “allergy” to it! But when there is no mutual understanding, when banal brushing of teeth develops into a problem, then “allergies,” of course, appear.

No, it’s just that the fathers were boys themselves and had not yet forgotten their childhood. For example, they remember how humiliating it feels when you are afraid to fight back. Or when, like a fool, they dictate to you what hat to wear, what scarf to tie. Therefore, observe where fathers are inferior to their sons, and where, on the contrary, they are as hard as flint. And try to evaluate this objectively, without harboring grudges. After all, men are often right when they accuse their wives of spoiling their sons, and then they themselves cry because of it.

Of course, the education of masculinity occurs differently at different ages. Endurance can and should be encouraged in a very small, two-year-old child. But not in the same way as adults try to do, reprimanding a fallen baby: “Why are you crying? It doesn't hurt you! Be a man!" Such “education” leads to the fact that at the age of 5-6, a boy who is tired of humiliation declares: “But I’m not a man! Leave me alone". It is better to proceed from the “presumption of innocence”: since he is crying, it means that he needs to be pitied. Whether he hit himself or got scared doesn’t matter. The main thing is that the baby needs psychological support from his parents, and it is cruel to deny it. But when he hits himself and doesn’t cry, it’s worth noting and praising your son, focusing on his masculinity: “Well done! This is what a real guy means. Another would have cried, but you endured it.”

In general, say the word “boy” more often with the epithets “brave” and “hardy.” After all, kids, as a rule, hear at this age that “good” means obedient. And in early childhood, many auditory and visual images are imprinted at the subconscious level. As you know, people who once heard a foreign language in infancy subsequently easily master this language and have good pronunciation, even if they begin to learn the language from scratch many, many years later. The same thing happens with ideas about life and people. Early impressions leave a deep imprint and subsequently invisibly guide many of our actions.

A three- to four-year-old child should buy more “male” toys. Not just guns and cars. I have already written that it is useful to introduce sons to male professions. Among other things, this will distract the child from the computer, from countless virtual murders, which only generate fears and bitterness in the child’s soul.

It’s very good to combine stories with role-playing games, buying or making various paraphernalia for them: firemen’s helmets, a ship’s wheel, a police baton... It’s better that these toys are not very bright. Variegation is for girls. Choose calm, restrained, courageous tones, because suggestion occurs not only at the level of words, but also at the level of color.

Five- and six-year-old boys usually show an interest in carpentry tools. Don't be afraid to give them a hammer or a pocketknife. Let them learn to hammer nails, plan, saw. Under the supervision of adults, of course, but still independently.

The sooner a boy starts helping one of the grown men, the better. Even if his help is purely symbolic. For example, handing dad a screwdriver on time is also very important. This elevates the boy in his own eyes and allows him to feel involved in the “real thing.”

Well, dads, of course, shouldn’t get annoyed if their son does something wrong. And it is even more unacceptable to shout:

“Your hands are growing out of the wrong place!”

Such a shout can only achieve that the son will lose all desire to help.

“When a mechanic comes to us,” the director of one kindergarten told me, who pays great attention to the development of masculine qualities in boys and feminine qualities in girls, “I specifically send the boys to help him, and they line up. We, like everywhere else, have many children from single-parent families, and for some this is the only opportunity to join men’s activities.”

It is very important for single mothers to adopt this simple technique. After all, the majority of “at-risk” teenagers come from single-parent families. Without a positive example of male behavior before their eyes, boys easily copy negative ones. With very disastrous consequences for yourself. Therefore, try to find among your relatives, friends or neighbors a person who, at least sometimes, could introduce the boy to some manly activity. And when your son grows up a little, find out what clubs and sections there are in your area where men teach. Spare no effort, find a leader who would please your boy’s heart. Believe me, it will pay off handsomely.

Already in older preschool age, boys should be oriented towards a chivalrous attitude towards girls.

In the same kindergarten, the children were so accustomed to letting girls go first that one day, when the teacher forgot about this rule, a jam formed at the door: the boys did not want to go before the girls. In our psychological theater classes, we also praise the boys for showing nobility when they agree for the girls to perform first. And we see how beneficially this affects their self-esteem and relationships in the group.

Having entered school, the child moves to another age category and becomes “big”. This is a favorable moment for the further development of masculinity. Start teaching him to give up his seat to older people on the subway.

And how readily the boys, even four-year-old small fry, rush to move chairs! How happy they are when they are called strongmen! Of course, public recognition of masculinity is worth a lot...

Raising a girl from birth

• Girls from birth to one year may still not understand the meaning of all their mother’s words. But the baby feels her mother’s hugs and kisses
• Therefore, from infancy, feel sorry for, kiss, hug your baby more often
• Don't yell at her when she doesn't want to sleep or doesn't eat well.
• Screaming and criticism towards a child at an early age can affect the baby’s psyche