How to support a girl in difficult times when she feels bad?
The emotional background of girls is complex, so from time to time she needs male support. You need to communicate with a girl periodically; a reliable man who periodically supports her is very important. A man can encourage a girl in difficult times both with words and actions - she should feel that a man is able to protect her, it’s not for nothing that there is an expression - like behind a stone wall. It is not a difficult task for a man to cheer up a woman if she is upset or sick.
Comfort a girl with words
It often happens that a girl gets nervous and upset for no reason. In this case, the man should find out the reason, but he shouldn’t impose himself; most likely, she just needs to talk it out. Take your time, wait, let her tell you what worries her. Any little thing can cause a bad mood.
Just let her know that you are there and ready to provide her with moral support. Ask one of the following questions:
- What made you upset?
- If you want, let's talk about what's bothering you.
- You look sick, how are you feeling now? Does anything hurt you?
- If it's important to you, I'll support you.
A man should actually support her, and not pretend to. If this happened on the street in a crowded place, go with her to a place where there are no unnecessary witnesses. If she wants to cry, sympathize with her, tell her that this is normal. Let her know that you are there, find out if you can help her with something.
Try to admit that the problem actually exists and that you are ready to help. For example, a girl’s mother got sick. In this case, it will be difficult for her without support, and if you can support with words and help the girl’s sick mother, for example, purchase the necessary medications or visit the sick person with the girl, such help will be very important.
Try to avoid advice. In such a situation, the very fact of participating in the problem is important for a woman; she must feel that the man will support her. It is likely that she has already thought about the whole situation, and now it will be more important to calm her down.
Try to make sure that she can express her feelings without embarrassment, as openly as possible. This means a lot to her - the faster she can verbalize what is bothering her, the faster she will find peace and be able to get out of a stressful situation.
In any situation, no matter how difficult it may be, try to maintain a positive attitude and approach everything with a sense of humor. It is important for a girl to see that you are in control of the situation. Let her understand that the unpleasant situation will not last forever, all bad things pass sooner or later. The more confident and positive you behave, the faster the same will happen to the girl. Tell her that there are no unsolvable situations, and the bulk of the problems are actually invented by the person himself. Therefore, with an adequate attitude to the problem and awareness of the degree of significance, it can be solved with minimal losses.
Don't try to reduce her problem, don't communicate casually. What a man may not care about at all can be a very serious and significant problem for a woman. For women, things are a little more complicated, remember that. Many people tend to use situations that happened in their lives as examples. You shouldn’t interrupt her and tell her what happened to you once. At a minimum, such an approach will only cause irritation.
Try to be as patient as possible. It takes some time for a girl to be able to control herself and start a dialogue. But you shouldn’t just wait without taking part in the problem - just watch and wait for the right moment.
In some cases, the girl may ask to be left alone. In this case, do not try to impose yourself, this will only make the situation worse. She may really need time to calm down and think. Most likely, after a while she will come to you.
It should be remembered that physical contact is important for girls. Light and unobtrusive touches cause girls to produce a special hormone, oxytocin. This hormone affects the girl in a positive way, causing a feeling of trust and intimacy. If the situation allows, take her hand and stroke the back of her palm. Place your hand on her shoulder, stroke between her shoulder blades. In this way, you can quickly reduce the level of stress hormone and endear yourself to the girl, at the same time calming her down.
Hugs also have a very positive effect on the situation. You should not forcefully try to hug her, especially when she is upset, but if the situation allows it, you should embrace the girl in a strong but gentle hug. This will give her a much-needed sense of security.
Don't rush things; a small touch will be enough to let her know that you are involved in the problem. If she wants to kiss you, she will do it herself when she is ready.
Try a change of scenery. Sometimes going to the cinema or theater helps a lot, and if she doesn’t want to be around people, try getting out into nature and having a picnic. An active lifestyle, movement and fresh air can have a good effect on your mood.
If a woman is far from you, you can console her and help her with encouraging correspondence during a difficult time. Correspondence via social networks also has its advantages - a woman can be given time to think before answering, which is not always possible during a telephone conversation. In correspondence you can provide the same support as in real life - if she is sick or simply not in the mood, a man is able to be with the girl. Support her through correspondence.
Tips for guys
The life of all people does not consist only of happy moments, so everyone periodically faces difficult situations. Girls are especially prone to get very upset and worried at such moments. And it doesn’t matter whether it happened for a serious reason or for a trifle , feelings are always of great importance for women. It is very difficult to be left without support at such a moment.
Errors in behavior
Comfort is primarily sharing the feelings and emotions of another person. It is important to make it clear that he is not alone in his trouble. At this moment, guys need not to stand on the sidelines, but show interest in the problems of a loved one.
However, very often, instead of sincere care, people show the following behavioral errors:
- reading notations;
- downplaying other people's feelings and emotions;
- excessive nervousness.
Such methods will not be able to calm down a loved one, but there is a chance of pushing him away.
First of all, men should be calm. Don't be nervous and fuss. Negative emotions can be contagious, and the girl will begin to feel even more sad. But unfortunately, when you are around a loved one who is very upset, it can sometimes be difficult to contain your emotions.
A good way to calm yourself and a crying woman is to pour her and yourself a glass of water.
It is not recommended to find out in detail what exactly happened. Talking about the intricacies and reasons can lead to the girl having to relive traumatic events. Of course, you definitely need to find out what happened, but you should limit yourself to a general answer.
You should not try to immediately begin an active search for a solution to the problem. In addition, in a state of hysteria, advice can be perceived as moral teaching. It is also important to understand that a crying person first of all wants to throw out his emotions. If a girl needs a young man’s help in resolving a situation, she will ask for it after she calms down.
Belittling the emotions of a crying woman is the biggest mistake a man can make when trying to provide moral support. You especially shouldn’t try to divert a girl’s attention to other people’s problems. What seems like a trivial situation to some is a real tragedy to others. Therefore, you need to give the girl the opportunity to experience her emotions and just be close to her.
Some tips
There are several tips to help you understand and support a girl:
- Don't leave a girl alone unless she asks for it. If she has no desire to communicate, just wait.
- When she begins to calm down, make tea, take out chocolate or candy. She will be pleased with such care.
- It happens that you are not able to understand her or help her in any way. It is quite possible that in such a situation it would be useful to communicate with her friend. Offer your help - take her to a friend's place and find out when to stop by to take her back.
How to calm down an upset girl: be sincere
Do not play with the expression of your emotions under any circumstances. Hyper-lisping or excessive intrusiveness is clearly visible, especially if the person has known you for a long time. Be yourself, and if you are confused, admit it honestly and don’t allow yourself to remain in that state.
Girls are more allowed to indulge in nagging, because psychologically they are more emotional and perceive everything more strongly than men. Stay in touch with the girl, try to protect her from bad thoughts, paying attention to the good things that happened in life and speed up your personal meeting.
What not to do
It is not recommended to do the following:
- Don't overdo it with humor. Of course, a positive attitude is good, but a girl may not understand some jokes.
- Remember that girls' moods can change every minute. Be prepared to leave her alone with your thoughts, but don't leave her completely - after a few minutes she may want to be with you.
Try to behave with the girl gently, but powerfully, do not curry favor with her.
How to calm a girl down from a distance with words?
The world of the human soul is mysterious and inexplicable, and the world of girls is generally an unsolved mystery. And the more difficult it is to cope with difficult situations that arise among the fair sex and to calm the girl down with words from a distance.
The reasons for a bad mood (and more serious problems) are countless, and at some stage in life everyone faces them. If something happens to your friend and you are not around, don’t despair and don’t give up, because you can help a girl from a distance.
Various situations
There are different situations in which a woman needs consolation. In each of them, you should follow a number of actions that help quickly cheer up your loved one.
Comfort from a distance
It can be especially difficult for a girl when she is upset and a loved one is not around. If it is not possible for a man to come to console his beloved, then this can be done by telephone.
Comforting an upset woman over text can be difficult. It is difficult to convey soothing words in SMS messages. It’s much better to call a girl, because nothing compares to the voice of your loved one.
It is important to speak as calmly and gently as possible. You should show sensitivity and concern in the conversation. A girl may react aggressively, but do not be afraid of this, since this is only a defensive reaction to a difficult situation.
You need to try to tell your beloved as many words of reassurance and affectionate phrases as possible, since at this moment there is no opportunity to hug her. You can call your loved one cute nicknames or just a name in a diminutive form.
Sometimes a good solution is to move the conversation to another topic. Men should try to make their loved one laugh or remind her of happy moments. This will help her get distracted and forget about her problems for a while.
It is very important not to hang up the phone, interrupting the conversation while the girl continues to cry. It is also advisable to remind yourself during the day: call and write. You can even make a pleasant surprise for your loved one, for example, send a bouquet.
If she cries
Men are baffled by women's tears. They are lost and don't know how to behave. But even in such a situation, you can provide support and reassure.
You can ask a woman if she wants to be alone. Some people prefer to cry alone. And only after a few minutes of solitude will the girl be ready to be pitied.
If a woman is very upset, then you need to give her time to talk it out. Even if she seems to be repeating the same thing, you should listen to her carefully so that she can throw out all the emotions.
There are a number of bad phrases that should not be said to a girl at this moment, otherwise she may become even more upset:
- “stop crying”;
- “no need to exaggerate”;
- "Come quickly";
- "calm down";
- "nothing bad happened";
- "Don't make things up."
It is desirable that in such difficult moments for a woman, all touches of a man should be devoid of sexual overtones. In this situation, it can upset the girl even more.
After your loved one has calmed down, it is important to try to cheer her up. Watching a romantic movie, going for a walk, or going to a cafe can help.
Sometimes men have to calm down their girlfriend who was dumped by her boyfriend. At this point, you can give an example of your experience of separation, if you had one. It is also important to say that they understand the girl’s feelings well.
Stop: hysterical. How to calm yourself and others
How to stop hysterics and prepare yourself for stressful situations? What is more effective: a ringing slap or a hug? Psychotherapist, neurologist, vice-president of the international society “Stress under Control” Olga Kotova spoke about this in an interview with Sputnik radio.
It is curious that the term “hysteria” once appeared exclusively to describe specific female disorders. Over time, it became clear that in a stressful situation, an explosion of uncontrollable emotions, incessant crying or laughter, screaming - everything that we used to call hysteria can cover both women and men. And nowadays there is more and more stress. And in order not to constantly fall into a hysterical state, you need to learn to remain calm in any situation, psychotherapist, neurologist, vice-president of the international society “Stress under Control” Olga Kotova said in an interview with Sputnik radio. She recommended breathing exercises, which increase stress resistance.
“We advise our patients to breathe on a count. For 1 count - inhale, for 2 counts - exhale. When the exhalation is twice as long as the inhalation, blood gases are activated and the person calms down. But it works better not in an acute situation, but in a situation between acute stresses. You learn to breathe calmly and when a bad moment comes, you breathe normally, because you already know how to do it,” said Olga Kotova.
But what if hysteria does happen? We know that at such moments words will not help matters. Body contact works best, but not a slap or a shake, which are also possible, but only in the most extreme cases. You need to start with hugs, the psychotherapist advises.
“The best thing is skin-to-skin contact, when you hug the person and try to calm him down in this way, without saying anything, because usually speaking is useless. It makes sense to give a glass of water, because it distracts attention and involves other activities,” the doctor noted.
At the same time, it is important to remember that sometimes crying is even useful - it is an outlet for emotions, which is much better than when a person suffers internally, but does not show it in any way. If hysterics with tears are a chronic situation, you should consult a doctor. And without delaying, otherwise it will be difficult to treat this condition.
Another golden rule during hysterics is that you should not abuse alcohol.
“Alcohol is a natural tranquilizer, but trying to relieve hysteria may not stop you. Depending on how intense your emotions are, you may need a lot of alcohol. And there is a risk that you will feel physically unwell later,” the specialist said.
In order to overcome hysteria, you need to act in a complex: valerian, a glass of water, a hug and let you cry, said Olga Kotova.
