There is no relationship between a man and a woman in which jealousy is not present. But it’s one thing when this feeling does not develop into paranoia, another thing when it provokes quarrels, scandals and restrictions on freedom. Anyone can cross the fine line from normal to pathological, so psychologists give some advice on how to stop a girl from being jealous and save a relationship.
According to statistics, it is men who are more often exposed to this feeling of jealousy due to competition with other men and the external attractiveness of the chosen one. Sometimes, with the help of jealousy, couples increase passion and ardor in a relationship, and girls manage to artificially cause unrest on the part of the man. In fact, jealousy tends to develop into paranoia, which entails a number of negative consequences.
Why are men jealous of women?
For some men, jealousy is a way to increase the tone in a relationship, unless the feeling clouds the brain. The line between normality and pathology is determined by the reasons that cause jealousy, namely:
- Due to their polygamy, men believe that women are prone to cheating to exactly the same extent as she herself. Statistics show that this is far from true.
- All people tend to compare themselves with others, and if this property is supported by self-doubt, such a man will constantly be jealous of his girlfriend over more successful and attractive competitors.
- Due to dissatisfaction with himself and his life, a man can assert himself against the background of his girlfriend. Jealousy can be caused by selfishness, the spirit of competition, demonstration of one's power and dominance over the girl.
- Fantasy and imagination work no worse in men than in women. Therefore, against the background of self-doubt and his partner, he will see betrayal in any lateness from work or talking on the phone.
- The fear of losing a girl and being lonely also often gives rise to other fears, including jealousy.
In fact, all of these reasons can be corrected; psychologists insist that men deal with them on their own. Otherwise, it will not be possible to avoid negative consequences; sooner or later, groundless jealousy will lead to a break in the relationship.
What will happen to relationships if you don’t get rid of unmotivated jealousy?
This part of the article will serve as motivation for the jealous person. Make sure that feeling distrustful of your partner will not bring anything good.
Let's name a number of the most likely reasons that will serve as a reason for separation.
- Girl's disappointment. Only a very patient girl can tolerate the presence of a jealous man who tirelessly watches her and controls her every step. But even she will eventually get tired of this attitude towards herself. She will leave.
- Love will end. The girl will take off her rose-colored glasses. Her crush never turns into love. The lady will begin to compare the guy with her other men or friends’ partners. The chosen one will suddenly understand that relationships can be different, without mistrust and conflicts. She will want just such a union. The guy will be left with nothing.
- Treason. Some women, in response to jealousy, come to a rash decision that seems to them to be a way out. They really cheat on their loved one. This is done, most likely, out of spite, “so that the accusations correspond to the truth.” In this case, separation is inevitable.
We suggest you familiarize yourself with: Spelling of the word excuse
Attention! Don't think of jealousy as a sign of love. It's a delusion. Unreasonable feelings need to be dealt with. It doesn't lead to any good.
Why is jealousy dangerous for your relationship?
As many psychologists say, jealousy is a consequence of people’s hypertrophied sense of ownership and selfishness. If you do not get rid of it and the accompanying negative character traits, a man risks not building strong and long-term relationships with any woman.
Are you a jealous person?
Not really
The motivation for fighting jealousy will be the consequences that it hides underneath, namely:
- sooner or later the girl will get tired of relationships with undeserved suspicions and reproaches, total control and lack of freedom;
- jealousy leads to a loss of respect on both sides, and the girl will consider her partner to be insecure and unbalanced, prone to tyranny;
- sooner or later, suspicions of treason will push her to this action, and this already entails a complete break in the relationship;
- scandals based on jealousy in the presence of children form complexes and a similar pattern of behavior in their fragile psyches.
Expert opinion
Helen Goldman
Male stylist-image maker
In any relationship, the key to the happiness of both partners is their freedom and personal space. Jealousy does not allow a man to trust his girlfriend, distorting her image in his eyes.
Jealous men tend to restrict their woman's freedom so much that they start spying on her phone, social media, the places she goes, and even her friends. Further in the relationship there will be more and more reproaches, undeserved accusations and scandals. Sooner or later, the girl will get tired of being considered not who she really is, and decide to leave.
Life without jealousy, or how to learn to trust girls
Without trust, there simply cannot be a serious relationship and love between a guy and a girl. If you love a person, then you will trust him. Nevertheless, jealousy is a feeling that sooner or later, if not every person, then very many people succumb.
However, if you are dating a girl or living with your legal wife, you simply must trust her as you trust yourself. Be sure that if you do this, she will also trust her beloved man, that is, you. How to learn to trust girls , not just your beloved?
How to stop a girl being jealous of everyone?
Understanding how serious the damage caused by unfounded claims is, a man must find for himself the best methods on how to stop being jealous of a girl for everyone. Psychotherapists have even separately developed options that can help eliminate the causes of male jealousy, and therefore the feeling itself. The list of the most effective methods includes the following options:
- self-development is the ideal solution to increase self-esteem, as well as a great way to increase self-respect in the eyes of a girl;
- improving physical fitness - nothing improves a man’s psycho-emotional background and his attitude to life more than improving his body condition, so it’s worth reconsidering your diet and visiting the gym;
- new hobbies – the source of pleasure should not only be a woman, as this leads to an obsession with her, and therefore a man needs new hobbies, be it sports, tourism, yoga, foreign languages and much more;
- variety in relationships - in order to be confident in a girl’s feelings, a man needs to constantly come up with ways to please her, be it dates, surprises, compliments, etc.;
- good sex is another source of positive emotions, strong feelings and passion in a couple.
By following such simple rules, a man can be sure that the girl will even mentally think about someone else. Only by developing yourself and improving your relationships can you be firmly confident that a girl will never cheat on her partner.
Losers are jealous
Convince yourself of this. After all, if a guy is jealous of a girl, it means he is afraid of losing her. And why? As a rule, because he is not confident in himself , that women can like him and that there is something to love him for. If you don't trust a girl, you won't be able to keep her.
What is meant here is that if you find a girl who loves you, this does not mean at all that she will have a wedge of light on you, that she will not notice anyone or anything else in life except you. Yes, she loves you, undoubtedly, but there are other people in her life - relatives, friends and girlfriends . But you shouldn’t be jealous of your friends, just as you shouldn’t forbid your loved one to communicate with them - this is selfishness. How can you trust a guy who doesn’t trust himself, and is even willing to take such radical measures?
How to stop being jealous of your ex-girlfriend?
There are situations when the relationship has already broken up, and feelings for the ex-girlfriend do not go away, complemented by devouring jealousy. In this case, it is much more difficult for a man, since there is no longer any prospect for a relationship, as well as the possibility of controlling the girl, and feelings and jealousy for her haunt him. Psychologists give several valuable instructions on how to forget your ex-girlfriend, namely:
- you need to abandon the past, as it slows down the advance and shortens the man’s future;
- when thinking about an ex-girlfriend, you need to think that the man was lucky enough to spend her wonderful youth with her, while another man will get her older and more cynical;
- you need to strictly follow the principle “if not out of your heart, then out of sight - definitely out of sight”, you cannot follow her social networks, write SMS, store her things and joint photos;
- You can survive jealousy if you understand that she does many things precisely with the purpose of making her ex-boyfriend emotional.
Another thing that helps to cope with jealousy towards an ex-girlfriend is the fact, cited by psychologists, that her new boyfriend will definitely be jealous of her ex-boyfriend for some time. Yes, yes, this is exactly what usually happens, especially if the girl started a new romance too quickly, not allowing her old feelings to cool down.
How to learn not to be jealous, but to trust
What can we do about this? Will we really always have to be jealous and suffer?
Both men and women often come to consultations with such questions. The reasons may be different, but today I will talk about specific situations.
During the conversation, it turns out that the reason for the girl’s jealousy of the guy lies in the fact that she experiences a lack of love, which comes from childhood. She is scared to even think that someone might be better than her, that a guy might prefer another. A girl stops feeling herself at some point, all her thoughts, all her emotions are directed at what her boyfriend is doing, who he is with now. Well, if the slightest reason for jealousy appears, then it is simply incredibly scary, painful, right down to physical sensations in the body.
If you are familiar with this condition, read on. If not, then feel free to pass by.
It is clear that there are many reasons here, one of them is that the girl, according to her feelings, did not receive additional love from her father, and he is the first man in her life. And now she is trying to find it, this same love, but from others. At the same time, without even knowing what it looks like, this is the love that you want to receive. And her father didn’t give it to her, because he didn’t know how to do it and perhaps didn’t even know how to love.
And now you need to learn to give yourself love and attention. It’s not always clear how, but you need to learn this and I know from practice that this is not a one-day journey. Anyone who follows it will receive many pleasant surprises and bonuses.
During a consultation with the girl, it turns out that “stuck”
She is in the state of a little girl for the same reason, because of her relationship with her father, memories of which still cause pain and tears.
You need to grow up in order to be in a resourceful state, to build a harmonious relationship with your partner, and not live in fear that she will be abandoned, that “I am worse than others”
, and in the
“give me love”
.
We are talking not only about the fact that you just need to grow up, but also an important point - learn to love yourself, accept yourself, give attention, support.
To do this, first I propose to find out how the position of a little girl differs from that of an adult woman.?
If according to your passport you are already well over 16, and your behavior often resembles that of a little girl:
- Her behavior resembles whims
- Doesn't want to take responsibility for his actions and for his life. More often blames someone else for what is happening
- She is afraid to be an adult, and at the same time has the habit of proving that she is right to her parents by entering into conflicts
- Loves everything to be her way
- Expects love and support from adults
- Touchy, demands attention
- Trying to be a good girl
- She is afraid of criticism, although she does not always show it, but she criticizes herself. Children often say, “Isn’t my drawing ugly?”
Girl in adult position:
- She knows that her life is in her hands and takes responsibility for everything that happens.
- Reacts adequately to criticism and adequately assesses one’s capabilities
- Developing. Knows that the path of personal growth is important for personal development
- Treats parents with understanding and respect
- Able to accept himself and others
- Not afraid to be alone
- Leads a healthy lifestyle
