How to forgive a girl for cheating: is it worth forgetting the betrayal?

What is female infidelity

There is an established opinion that sexual intercourse between two people is considered a fact of treason if at least one was in a relationship with another partner. However, in such a situation it is not customary to take into account experience, the time of meetings and their strength, so it is worth distinguishing between the types of betrayal.

A girl can betray physically or mentally. The first type is sex, a kiss or other contact with a young man with whom the lady is not in an official relationship. This happens in the office with a colleague, an old acquaintance or a new friend. The reason is a boring relationship, lack of attention or routine. In this case, there will be witnesses or facts that will confirm what happened. Therefore, it is easy to notice that your partner has cheated if you are observant.

READ How to survive your husband's betrayal and save your family: advice from a psychologist

The second type of betrayal is more difficult to prove. If a woman is not ready for physical interaction, but her life together and relationship with her current boyfriend is either boring or has reached a dead end, there will be a man who will be more insightful and attentive, and will win sympathy. In this case, correspondence and calls with explicit content will be part of life. Of course, a wise girl will remove traces in time, but such betrayal is much more difficult to forgive, because the unity of bodies and souls that has disappeared between partners is the starting point, the beginning of the end.

What do men think about?

Female infidelity is a betrayal, a strong blow to a man and his pride. The news of a girl's infidelity is almost always unexpected and very painful. Is it worth forgiving a girl's betrayal? After all, the man feels that a replacement has been found for him, he has been humiliated and betrayed. At such moments, a man often has thoughts:

“Is it possible to forgive your wife’s betrayal?”
“How to forgive your wife’s betrayal and move on?”
“Why can’t you forgive a woman’s infidelity?”

and many others.

There is only one piece of advice - you should wait until the emotions subside, and then move on to negotiations.

First, you should listen to the man, the woman will understand what her betrayal means to her husband and then it will become clear whether there is any hope of saving the relationship or not. If the husband has forgiven his wife for his betrayal, the latter needs to make a lot of effort to regain trust.

What is the difference between male and female infidelity

Signs of a woman's betrayal

To catch a woman's infidelity, look and mentally note how many of the points listed below apply.

If there is a match of four or more, this is a reason to suspect infidelity:

Alienation or lack of joint conversations and discussions. Women cool down morally faster, and only then physically. If until now your wife shared events, but now she is silent, think about it. She either has problems that she wants to hide, or a new affair on the side.
A woman does not listen and does not remember her partner’s words. It seems that her thoughts are far away. Of course, if this has happened before, do not focus on this detail.
Encouraging separate holidays and weekends. My wife did not approve of overnight fishing, but now she is concerned about why trips are so rare? This is a clear sign that they want to quickly kick you out of the house.
Increased interest, which was not there a month ago, in the work schedule. Your wife is interested in an almost minute-by-minute schedule of your affairs, while simultaneously trying to remember every little detail.
Constant irritation and dissatisfaction with any manifestations. To test this, present the girl with a bouquet. If she accepts it with genuine joy, then the signs noticed are fatigue and irritation. If she has difficulty putting on a smile, this is a sign that the wife is attracted to another guy.
Change of smell that occurred during the day. In the morning, a delicate perfume applied to the skin smelled of roses and violets, and in the evening a woman smells of men's deodorant - this is a sign that demonstrates betrayal.
In the company of colleagues and friends of your wife, conversations in front of you become awkward and distant.
Attempts to look into the woman’s phone or laptop fail. It turns out that access to them is protected by a password that only she knows.
The wife provokes quarrels and tries to leave the house after a scandal, turning off the phone and returning in the morning.
Interest in one's own appearance and changes in hairstyle, clothing and style noticeable to a man. Women tend to make drastic changes at critical times to relieve stress.

Each of the points individually has a justification, but a combination of at least four suggests too strange behavior and possible betrayal. But don’t rush things, try to find reliable evidence to understand for sure whether to suspect treason.

Is it possible to forgive a girl's betrayal?

The question of whether it is possible to forgive the betrayal of a beloved girl is asked by guys who have learned about the fact of betrayal. However, first you need to understand the situation.

The details of the event will tell you how promising the relationship is and how high the chances are for the return of old feelings:

READ How to catch your husband cheating in a cunning way: methods of exposure

Casual sex that happened once. 65% of couples face a similar situation. At the same time, the woman herself reports the fact of betrayal and assures that she sincerely repents. This option is promising in terms of continuing the relationship. If a lady asks for forgiveness, and has not previously been seen in disparaging behavior, wait a week or two so that emotions have time to cool down and talk frankly. Tell us about your overwhelming feelings, the power of love and the unacceptability of such actions. If after the conversation you realize that you are not ready to break up, forgiveness will be easy and quick.
Repeated sexual intercourse with another man. Friends talk about it or the betrayal is revealed by accident. Every third couple experiences such a test. The girl’s behavior, unwillingness to repent or talk about an affair on the side speaks for itself. She does not need forgiveness and continuation of the relationship, she made a choice in favor of another guy. The main thing here is not to lose your dignity and resolve the situation without losing self-respect. Receive the information calmly, calmly collect the necessary things and immediately leave or separate. The union has no prospects for development.
Cheating in the form of correspondence and promises of future physical contact. Only 2% of young people manage to find traces of this type of betrayal. Talk to the girl and find out the reason for this behavior. If you doubt the continuation of the relationship, make a table. In the left column, list specific situations in which your partner helped, supported or inspired, in the right - the opposite cases. It's worth starting with the negative aspects. This will allow you to remain objective and at the same time remember the pleasant little things that united you. The probability of reconciliation and forgiveness of betrayal is more than 75%.

Men and women's infidelity

Everyone knows: a man is an owner. He is so constructed that he cannot help but be tormented by the question of why his wife’s lover is better than him. The realization that she slept with someone else is a real trauma for the male psyche. The spouse will always mentally return to the situation of betrayal and experience suffering every time.

A few years ago, a series was released where the main character’s wife cheated on him with a friend. What to do in such a situation? The woman soon realized that she was mistaken. She chose family and repented to her husband. But many years passed, and there was not a single day when our hero did not ask about the ill-fated Taras (that was the name of his once best friend).

In moments of intimacy, the man was tormented by suspicions that his wife was much better off in bed with Taras than with him. There was a loss of trust in the relationship, irritation and aggression appeared. What pushes women to risk marriage?

How to forgive a woman's infidelity

Forgiveness is a voluntary act that comes from the best intentions.

The solution is not always easy, but there are ways to get over a girl’s betrayal more easily:

Weather the emotional storm. Whatever the guy’s temperament, the news of betrayal will make him nervous and express aggression. Depending on the nature, strength of feelings and duration of the relationship, the reaction can last from one day to a month. During this time, do not contact the girl, avoid meetings and conversations that you will regret. After accepting the betrayal, set up a date and discuss possible continuation scenarios.
During isolation, engage in active sports - it will distract you. You can try to change the situation. But refrain from drinking alcohol, as it will awaken subsiding anger and push you to rash actions.
Share your experiences with a friend, ask for advice from people who have found themselves in similar situations. Try to find out how possible a relationship is after betrayal.
Don't make hasty decisions. Separation or reconciliation will be tolerated, but if constant doubts and changes in decisions begin, both will suffer. The girl will understand the instability of the situation and the lack of a clear position, which will lead to new problems. First, weigh all the arguments so as not to doubt yourself.

Regardless of the final decision to forgive or end the relationship, remember that the responsibility lies with the man, as he decides whether to accept the fact of betrayal.

How to behave after the incident

Young people who decide to forgive an offense and continue dating make characteristic mistakes that reduce the chances of a full-fledged relationship to zero:

mention of what happened in the form of reproach, jokes, praise of one’s own resourcefulness;
aggressive mistrust, manifested in assault;
scandals and hysterics of a man expressing doubts about whether the incident that occurred was the only one or will not happen again;
an obsessive desire not to leave the girl unattended for even a minute.

READ How to forgive a guy for cheating and is it worth doing?

Betrayal has changed the relationship, but forgiveness is intended to smooth out possible conflicts due to the ability to forget about what happened. To better visualize this, try to think about the woman's previous partners, because when the relationship began, it was normal to perceive the fact that they had one - everyone has a past. Try to transfer this situation into the category of something that happened before the current feelings appeared.

If you can’t do this, then don’t torture yourself and the girl and honestly admit the impossibility of forgetting and forgiving. Relationships with a loved one who once betrayed you can collapse. By committing such an act, the girl should have understood the consequences, so don’t blame yourself. Let me leave without quarreling and shouting. The experience gained by both will help you better understand yourself and your feelings, realize the unacceptable behavior and prevent misconduct in the future.

Is it possible to forgive betrayal: a psychologist's answer

Most often, a psychologist comes to the aid of men experiencing the consequences of adultery. His tips will help you not only look at the situation from a different perspective, evaluate everything that is happening, but also clearly determine whether your wife’s betrayal can be forgiven. The psychologist's answer to this question will be as follows:

Calm down . Against the background of experiences and mental anguish, it is difficult to make a sober decision. Take a time out, stop replaying the nuances of betrayal in your head, and wait until the wounds heal. It is important to regain the ability to think adequately and rationally.
Talk . The situation will not resolve on its own. Therefore, a conversation with your spouse is necessary. It is important to find out the circumstances and reasons for the offense, what contributed to it. Understand her attitude towards what happened, whether she repents, and also how she sees the future relationship.
Make a decision. Based on everything she said in a frank conversation, understand for yourself whether you can continue to live with this. Identify for yourself the pros and cons of forgiveness. Imagine that you are already divorced, she lives with another man, you are with another woman, are you satisfied with this development of events?

Expert opinion

Elena Druzhnikova

Sexologist. Family relations expert. Family psychologist.

Forgiving the mistakes of a loved one is rather life wisdom and an indicator of strength. But if there are no excuses for her behavior, as well as her sincere repentance and attempts to save the relationship, forgiveness can become a big mistake or even a manifestation of weakness.

When can you give a chance and save your marriage?

Provided you have a frank conversation in which your spouse sincerely asks for forgiveness and a second chance, you can consider this possibility for yourself. In any case, it will depend purely on your feelings and circumstances. Psychologists usually recommend maintaining relationships under the following conditions:

Before the betrayal, you lived happily and in love . No serious conflicts or misconduct were observed between you both. And this situation became an accident, which your companion sincerely regrets.
After such a blow, your feelings for her did not weaken. If the thought of living apart in the future hurts you more, if you are not ready to give her to another man, there is a possibility of saving the relationship.

When you shouldn't forgive

Regardless of who is to blame for the current situation, there are several reasons why a woman’s infidelity should not be forgiven. For example:

she does not repent, she does not regret anything;
if she considers betrayal to be a trifle;
it does not give guarantees or promises that this will not happen again;
all the blame for what you have done is shifted onto you;
she has feelings for her lover;
she is pregnant by her lover;
the betrayals occurred for a long time and did not stop.

Despite the fact that the female sex is not inclined to cheat, there are exceptions when this is the norm in a relationship for her. But if you belong to the category of people who do not know how to forgive, do not force yourself. Nothing good will happen in your future life together.

Why you can't forgive a girl's infidelity

The guy must decide whether to forgive the betrayal that happened on his own. But five signs that a girl does not need a relationship will tell her that a pardon will not please her:

Treason happened repeatedly before the famous incident.
The duration of the relationship with your lover exceeds one week.
The girl does not express thoughts of regret, does not look for opportunities to justify herself.
We heard from mutual friends about the girl’s wild behavior after a quarrel.
The lover's previous relationships ended the same way.

Any of the signs will show that the lady is not interested in continuing meetings. If the feelings are overwhelming and the desire to return is indomitable, restrain yourself from impulsive action or be prepared to repeat the situation many times.

Why can you forgive your wife for cheating?

There are no more ways to forgive the betrayal of a girl who has become a wife than there are methods for forgiving a woman who does not have the official status of a wife. However, the stamp adds additional complications to the separation in the form of paperwork. In addition, if the couple managed to acquire children and common property, the process will drag on indefinitely, even if both agree to divorce. The first reason to forgive your wife is time. While the divorce process lasts, emotions subside, and the woman’s sincere repentance gives confidence that the family can be saved.

The second reason for a wife’s forgiveness is a credit of trust. When a relationship lasts a year or two, it is impossible to earn it. But five or six years of living together gives an understanding that this woman really loves and knows how to care, so betrayal, although it undermines the relationship, does not destroy it. In addition, the baggage of accumulated emotions, pleasant little things and memories will help you overcome resentment and love your spouse with renewed vigor.

Desperate Heartbreaker 4

As sad as it is to admit, some ladies are simply not meant for relationships. They look for ease and freedom everywhere, and full-fledged feelings do not tolerate polygamy. The most obvious reason for betrayal is a banal lack of love. She does not make plans for the future with your participation, she does not strive to become your soul mate, who will be your support and support. She likes to change sexual partners like gloves, but the status of someone's girlfriend also suits her quite well. And such a person will definitely not feel any remorse for what she does.

There is no point in forgiving such a girl. She doesn't need it, and neither do you. Is it possible to forgive a girl’s betrayal if she doesn’t even strive to deserve it? Of course not. All you need to do is quickly let her go and forget. The world doesn’t converge on any young lady, and therefore you will meet the one who will help you mend your broken heart.

Life without quarrels with your soulmate is almost impossible. Many are faced with seemingly insoluble conflicts that end happily. But there are situations when it is difficult to rely only on reason and logic. Is it possible to forgive a girl's betrayal? Try to listen to yourself. Losing a loved one because of a stupid and ridiculous accident is a mistake that you will regret. Maybe this betrayal will become a point for your relationship, or maybe it will strengthen your union and make it clear that you have no one closer to each other.

Message from the Editor

It's a pity, but on this note we will end this topic. And at the very end we will give you one more interesting fact. According to survey results, about 40% of people have never been able to find their soul mate and do not even know what true love is. This fact can be explained by several reasons - from a lack of experience in the field of dating and building relationships to the intensification of public opinion and stereotypes. Do you dream of finding your person and building a real relationship? We will tell you a large number of secrets and important points that will help in this difficult matter. Open our magazine - only interesting and valuable articles await you!

How to forgive your wife for cheating: advice from a psychologist

Situations that happen in life present unpleasant surprises. Sometimes it turns out that the beloved wife committed betrayal either before marriage or after the ceremonial exchange of rings. Forgiving a girl who has become a wife for cheating is no easier, because the stamp in the passport aggravates the responsibility for what happened. However, three tips from a psychologist who advocates saving the marriage will help in psychological reconfiguration. If you want to save the relationship and not file for divorce, use these recommendations:

Mentally transfer the event to the past that happened before your appearance. Even if the betrayal happened yesterday, imagine that the fact of acquaintance was only today.
Try to justify the cheater and find reasons in your own behavior and attitude towards your beloved - lack of attention, sex, courtship and romance.
Awaken your memory of moments of spiritual intimacy: remember the periods when it was good, the relationship was at the stage of courtship. Try to repeat the actions and revive the feelings.

If attempts do not bring success, and aggression and the desire to harm your partner worsen, try to separate and live separately. Perhaps everyday problems will both distract and show how caring and attentive the wife is. If after a month you don’t want to return, accept the fact of the final separation and file for divorce. Remember that betrayal is a valid reason even for terminating a wedding, so don’t blame yourself. The couple decides on their own whether to forgive the betrayal that occurred in a relationship, taking into account the strength of feelings, the desire to continue and the ability to do this without mutual reproaches. The main thing is to focus on sensations and not do hasty actions.

Reasons for wife's cheating

Forgiveness is only possible if you know exactly the reasons that pushed your spouse to betray. They will help you find ways of understanding, and if you have feelings, this will ease your condition. Most often, women are encouraged to be unfaithful by the following situations:

Attention deficit - any girl needs compliments, warmth and tenderness. If she doesn't get this from her husband, sooner or later she will start looking elsewhere.
Coercion – Women are often forced into sexual intercourse by men who have power over them. A typical situation is when the boss can force her to fulfill various wishes by threatening to fire her. Or, in an attempt to protect her family from financial difficulties, she takes such a step for the sake of money.
Different views of partners on relationships - if she is constantly developing, setting goals and moving towards them, and the husband is limited by the available opportunities and leads a passive lifestyle, the relationship is doomed. Sooner or later she will pay attention to a partner who matches her.
Falling in love - if sexual contact on the side is called betrayal, then feelings for another man can be considered betrayal. And here everything is much more complicated, emotions cannot be controlled, which means it will be impossible to maintain the relationship.
Revenge - if such a serious offense was noticed in the past by you, sooner or later she may do the same for the purpose of revenge.

Could you forgive your wife's betrayal?
Not really

Also less common, but still compelling reasons include the husband’s incorrect attitude. If you show moral and physical violence towards her, abuse bad habits, do not take care of yourself, and do not bring wealth to the family for a long time, sooner or later she will get tired of it. It is the identified reasons for betrayal that will help to understand who is more to blame for this, the husband, wife or her lover.