How to understand whether you love a person: truly, or is it affection

What is love?

Is it possible to tell in words what “love” or “happiness” is? One will say that this is a chemical reaction of the body, another – a sublime feeling, the third will completely find it difficult to answer, they say, when you fall in love, you will understand!

But it's really difficult to understand. Today, at the sight of your loved one, everything in your soul blossoms, your heart is pounding with joy, and butterflies are fluttering in your stomach. And tomorrow you begin to wonder, is this the person I need? Will I be able to live with him all my life?

So it turns out that at first we are exclusively under the influence of feelings, and then, after a few weeks or months, the voice of reason turns on.

Love means something different for each person, because everyone loves in their own way, depending on their character and emotionality. Some are restrained in their feelings, while others are ready to shout about them to the whole world.

In any case, by love, every person understands something good, unusual, joyful. You meet a person with whom you feel warm and calm, someone you can trust, with whom you want to share your joys and sorrows.

This person in a short time becomes the closest, as if this is a part of you, your soulmate.

How can a guy understand that a girl is in love?

A man himself is able to guess that a lady is in love with him, since it is visible to the naked eye. She tries to look better, shows off, tries to please. This is reflected in appearance, behavior and words. The girl will ask questions and tell you something about herself. Some try to find similarities - they ask about the man’s hobbies and views, and share theirs.

READ A man does not say that he loves: how to find out if there are feelings

Behavior depends on how old the fairer sex is. If she is already quite an adult, then she is unlikely to be ashamed of her feelings or deny them. She will begin to actively seek the guy's attention. A young girl can be very worried and anxious in the company of a young man, which is also noticeable.

Signs of love

True love is manifested in actions and deeds, not in words.

Love is:

constant care;
desire not to cause pain;
unlimited trust;
spiritual intimacy;
mutual respect;
sacrifice, willingness to do anything for the sake of your loved one;
the ability to let go of your loved one, as long as he is happy;
the ability to put his interests above your own;
the desire to become better next to him, self-improvement;
readiness to come to the rescue, to be with your loved one not only in joy, but also in sorrow.

Love or affection - how to tell the difference?

How do you understand whether you love a person or is it just affection?
Love at first sight is a feeling as rare as falling snow on a hot July day. At first sight, you can fall in love, feel physical attraction, a soul mate, but a mature and conscious feeling comes later.

How to understand your own emotions? How is affection different from love? Let's look for the difference.

When two people date for a long time, they certainly become attached to each other. You begin to miss your loved one when he is away. You miss his hugs, his smell, his jokes, his sweet habits. But how do you understand whether you love a person or is it a habit, dependence on another person?

Attachment is very easy to confuse with love. But there is still a significant difference between them. A dependent person acts forcedly, out of fear of losing his soul mate. He restrains his real emotions, tries to guess the desires of his chosen one.

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Affection always goes hand in hand with:

financial dependence;
fear of loneliness;
feelings of guilt or gratitude;
responsibility for your chosen one.

But love is a selfless feeling, self-sufficient. They love not for something, but in spite of everything.

Sexual relationships will help you understand that this is a habit and not love. If you are with a person out of habit, then the passion will gradually subside, and you will get headaches more and more often. Whereas a real feeling gives pleasure from intimacy, the desire to dissolve in a loved one, to give him all of yourself.

What can love be confused with?

No one has been able to give an exact concept of what love is. It is worth noting that each person will have their own concept of love. So how do you understand that you love a person?

Love should not be confused with feelings such as:

Passion. This is a strong physical attraction, namely an irresistible attraction to a person. It is at this moment that many people think that they are truly in love. But in fact, this is not always the case, since passion is a consequence of strong sexual desires, in other words, it is ordinary lust. Because of this, people very often endow the object of their attention with non-existent qualities, and later disappointment comes.
Sympathy. This feeling arises against the background of psychological and physical attractiveness. This feeling in itself is not love, but in most cases it develops into true love.
Love. This is a pretty strong emotional feeling. It is a mixture of sympathy, passion and attraction. These feelings give the person in love real euphoria, and because of this, the person in love can suffer greatly, especially if the feelings are not mutual.
Addiction. It's not a feeling, it's more of a psychological addiction. And it arises when it begins to seem that there is no point in living without a soulmate. Addiction is most often experienced by individuals with serious psychological trauma, as well as by people who are psychologically immature. In most cases, such injuries occur in childhood.
Habit. When people are close to each other for too long, for example, living next door, studying or simply working together, and suddenly one of them leaves the common area, at this moment a feeling of melancholy, worry, and craving may arise. One of them may even think that all this time while they were together, they loved each other. But in reality this is not so, it is just a common habit.
Jealousy. The opinion that if a partner is jealous, it means he loves, is largely erroneous. Very often, jealousy hides a person’s unconsciousness and psychological trauma. If a person truly loves himself and is confident in himself, then he will never torment his partner with jealousy. These are mostly people who have low self-esteem, are immature and lack self-confidence.

Love or friendship - how to determine?

In fact, a strong and good friendship always develops between lovers.
There is no better friend than a loved one, with whom you can trust and confide, with whom you can do everything together, with whom it is easy, warm and comfortable. Friendship is a new level of love, when hormones calm down, and euphoria is replaced by mutual assistance, a conscious readiness to throw yourself into fire and water after your loved one, the desire to share everything between two.

Psychologists say that if lovers become faithful and reliable friends, then together they can move mountains, they can survive all the hardships, they can share happiness and misfortune in half.

But what if a guy and a girl are just friends? Is it possible to confuse friendship with love? Of course not. Yes, these people are very close mentally, but there is no physical attraction between them. And at the same time, each of them has some secrets that are difficult to entrust to a stranger.

How do you know if you love a person?

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Advice from psychologists will help you find the answer to this difficult question.

Method 1: Test

There are many long and tedious tests that help determine whether you are in love. We offer a short rapid test that only takes a few minutes to complete.

Please answer the following questions as honestly as possible:

Do you think about your partner before going to bed?
Are you trying to make your loved one happy?
Do you feel protected and calm when you are around him?
Do you feel positive emotions when you think about your loved one?
Do you think that your chosen one is the best in the world?
Does separation or long separation scare you?
Do you accept your loved one as he is, with all his shortcomings?

If you answered yes to all the questions, then you can rest assured – this is love. But if you have doubts or gave a negative answer, then this is already an alarm bell and a reason to think about your relationship.

Method 2: Pros and cons

How do you know if you truly love a person? We suggest you use a popular psychological technique - take a sheet of paper, divide it into two columns and write all the pros and cons of your chosen one.

Write its advantages in one column, and its disadvantages in the other. Have you written? Now look, which column has more points? Do disadvantages predominate? Then it's definitely not love. They don't annoy you yet, but you've noticed them. This means that over time they can turn into a reason for scandals and insults.

Are there many more advantages? Does this only confirm your love and good attitude towards your partner?

Only advantages? Think about it, are you idealizing your chosen one?

Method 3: “He’s no longer there”

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How do you know if you still love a person? We offer you a somewhat cruel, but quite effective technique.

Imagine that your chosen one is no longer there. What do you feel? Fear of loss, emptiness in the soul, hopelessness, loss? If yes, then this is true love.

Well, if you feel the strength to live without him, if you are not afraid of loss or separation, then there is no smell of high feelings here.

Method 4. Meditation

How do you understand that you love a person? Try to meditate, immerse yourself and sort out your feelings.

Turn off your phone and make sure there are no distractions. Sit comfortably in a chair or on the sofa. It is not necessary to take the “lotus” position; sit or lie down so that you are comfortable.

Focus on your breathing, don't think about other things. Imagine something good - the sea, a sunny lawn, mountains. Now think about your loved one, imagine him. What do you feel? Joy, the desire to hug, to be close to him? You love!

Or do you feel indifferent? Or maybe even worse - hostility or fear? Then your chosen one is definitely not the one you need.

How to understand if you have feelings for a person

At the initial stage of a relationship, a man and a woman do not know each other well, they still have to sort out their feelings. There is an attraction between them because of sympathy, sexual attraction, or interest as individuals with similar tastes. But not every person you like at first sight will be able to build a long-term relationship. Then how to check whether you truly love a person or not? The answer is simple - time must pass.

When the candy-bouquet period ends, the sobering stage begins. The emotional component loses its significance and the brain turns on. A person is lost in conjecture and tries to understand whether he made a mistake in choosing a life partner, whether it is possible to build a strong relationship with him or whether this is a fleeting connection.

Therefore, the following questions inevitably arise: “Everything is great in bed, but will this person be a reliable partner and a good family man?”, “We have the same musical preferences, but will I be interested in him (her) in the future?”, “Is this really love or am I just afraid of being alone?”

If such questions arise, and you want to understand whether you love the person next to you, or whether this is attachment, listen to yourself. The fact is that in all matters, including relationships, we want to be clear about what awaits us. A person who wants to sort out his feelings minimizes the risk of making a mistake.

Often, people who like each other rush to formalize the relationship at the registry office without having time to check it. But after a while it becomes clear to them that the partner is not the person they really need. In most cases, such mistakes cause the greatest harm to children.

You can find out that love and harmony reign in a couple by the following signs:

the desire to tell your partner all the events and news that have happened;
frequent messages and calls;
constant thoughts about your lover;
discomfort during separation;
expressing feelings with hugs and kisses;
the desire to get to know your loved one better, to remember his habits;
strong excitement from touching, kissing;
the need to spend more time with your loved one than with family and friends.

All these signs, of course, can indicate sympathy. But for the most part, such feelings are characteristic of a couple in which the guy and girl love each other very much.

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Useful tips

How do you understand whether you love a person or not? Are your feelings and emotions real? What to do if you have doubts? Well, you’ll have to come down to earth, take off your rose-colored glasses and assess the situation impartially. Try to look at your relationship from the outside.

To do this, ask yourself a few questions. Just answer honestly, no need to deceive yourself.

Are you ready to accept your chosen one if he is as poor as a church mouse? Love is a selfless feeling, which means that you should not seek benefits from your relationship.
Are you sexually attracted to your partner or are platonic relationships enough for you? True love is the desire to possess and surrender, as if dissolving in your soulmate. Love without sex does not exist a priori. And naturally, we are talking about physical love here.
Do you accept your chosen one as he is, with all his advantages and disadvantages? Are you ready to put up with his habits and quirks? Remember, it is impossible to change a person, no matter how hard you try. For a while, in order to please, he will do as you like, but sooner or later nature will take its toll.
Can you trust your loved one with your most intimate things? Open your soul to him? Confess to some bad deeds? Share with him both joy and sorrow? After all, the ability to trust is one of the most important signs of love.
Can you forgive if someone you care about confesses to something terrible? Or will you turn your back on him forever? If the need arises, will you take the blame of your loved one upon yourself in order to save him? Are you ready to sacrifice yourself?

Well, after you answer all the questions and understand your feelings, try to answer them, but from the side of your chosen one. This way you can determine if he loves you.