How to make yourself fall in love: 10 secrets and recommendations

Try to always remain mysterious.

Don't spill all your information on the first date. Every woman should have a mystery. If a girl communicates with a man she likes, then this is the case when it is better to listen to him more than to speak herself.

Representatives of the stronger sex are scared off by inexhaustible chatter. Even if you have been together for a very long time, there should still be some kind of surprise. The psychology of men is designed in such a way that they often want new relationships. A partner will never get tired of getting to know a woman who knows how to surprise her chosen one.

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There are many ways to attract attention, and among them there are fail-safe methods. Psychologists do not advise girls to chase the recommendations of glossy magazines and change their appearance to suit fashion trends. Of course, in order to make the man you like fall in love with you, it is important to maintain your attractiveness, but you should not take drastic measures. It is enough to change your behavior a little and captivate the gentleman so that he gets involved in the game and wins the one who is so elusive and beautiful.

1. A seductive image will quickly attract male attention, but girls should not forget that there should be moderation in everything. Attractiveness does not come down to revealing outfits and bright makeup; on the contrary, they can scare away. It is important for girls to understand that a well-groomed appearance will attract much more attention, because natural beauty and charm make men look behind them.

2. A pleasant smile is disarming, and you need to use this “weapon” more often to make a man fall in love with you. A pleasant girl with a sincere smile will quickly attract attention and will not leave the chosen candidate indifferent. Coquetry will help a girl achieve the main result - to awaken a man's interest.

3. Politeness will also help in the fight for a man’s heart, which means you need to behave correctly and show your best side. For a man to enjoy spending time with a girl, he needs to forget about arrogance.

4. You can arouse interest in a man if you are interested in his hobbies. In addition, during the conversation, you can share with him your plans for the future, talk about your aspirations and personal preferences. An interesting interlocutor will always attract attention. During conversations, it will be easier to understand what the gentleman is thinking about, support his dream and assure him that everything will work out.

5. A look will help you make a man fall in love with you. It is known that the eyes are the mirror of the soul, and if interest is reflected in them, then it will become easier to achieve mutual feelings. A girl can look soulfully into a man's eyes and then look away, and this technique will help her arouse even more interest in her person.

6. Touch also plays an important role, so you can casually touch a man’s hand, attracting his attention. Light touches and eye to eye looks will be a signal for action. A man who is interested in his interlocutor will definitely respond to him.

7. Men value novelty, so it is important for girls to surprise their chosen ones. With such actions they will constantly maintain interest in themselves. You can surprise him with your talents, make a pleasant culinary surprise, or please him with your achievements.

8. A girl who wants to win must always keep a man at a short distance. This can be achieved by interrupting a telephone conversation or canceling one of the meetings. The refusal will be taken calmly if you tell the man that unexpected things have arisen that cannot be postponed. The girl can add that she will look forward to meeting you. This behavior will help to captivate the man even more.

9. You don't have to make sacrifices for a man, so girls don't have to settle for something that doesn't suit them. Those who follow the desires of a man will not find it easy to keep him close to them. A self-sufficient girl will be able to inspire self-respect in a man by showing that she is an individual and has her own interests.

10. Men are conquerors by nature, so you shouldn’t reveal all your cards right away. It is important to keep him in suspense for some time without showing that you are in love. However, he should feel comfortable next to his chosen one, and his interest should not fade. Only when the girl understands that the sympathy is mutual and the man has fallen in love can he take a step forward.

Falling in love with a man is not as difficult as it seems at first glance. To do this, you need to be natural and not try on other people’s roles and images. Thanks to flirting, coquetry and attractiveness, you can win the attention of the gentleman you like and begin a wonderful romantic relationship with him. We wish you good luck and don't forget to press the buttons and

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June 14 00:18

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“How to Teach Your Man to Love?” Part one

Hello, dear Girls and Women!

Glad to meet you again. An unusual number awaits you today.

Firstly, in the issue you will find only part of my large article “How to teach your man to love?”. For ease of reading, so that the issue is not very huge, I have divided the article into 3 parts. Today you have the first part, tomorrow there will be a second, and the day after tomorrow there will be a third. Or maybe faster.

Don’t worry, you won’t have to wait long, since the article has already been written in full

By the way, you haven’t heard from me for so long because I’m currently working on creating a website and blog. You will see them soon. By the way, you will receive issues of my newsletter regularly, at least once a week

And now something else especially for you. This part of the article mentions the famous book about relationships and love by J. Gray “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it. How to get it - read on this page: https://www.secretylubvi.com/vopros/1/index.html

Well, that's it, and now about today's article. In it we will talk about whether it is possible to teach your man to love and how to do it, what qualities we will need for this and what else is important to take into account in this difficult task

In today’s part we will look at the following question: “Can a man himself figure out how to show his love? And how long do we have to wait for this?”

Enjoy reading

I look forward to your ideas, impressions, comments at [email protected] Write!

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* How to teach your man to love? *

Part 1. “Can your man figure out how to show his love? And how long do we have to wait for this?”

“...On a far side, on an alien planet, I have to study at the university...”

The words of this famous song very well illustrate the situation that most men face when they begin to live together with their beloved. They find themselves in a completely unfamiliar world - the world of relationships, where they need to act completely differently: be responsible for two people, make plans together, show care, attention and love.

For us women, this is not a problem. After all, by our nature we are always ready to show both care and understanding, delve into other people’s problems, relationships, affairs, share experiences, express our feelings. This is almost not typical for men. Although these are precisely the qualities we expect from them . Here is a small but very important paradox of life.

Let's take a closer look. Men (although, of course, not all), if they did not have a worthy example in childhood, have little idea of ​​what relationships, love, feelings, care, understanding, and responsibility for another person are. What should you do if the woman you love is in a bad mood, or irritable, or dissatisfied with something - how to act, how to behave? A man can understand all this only from his own experience or the example of his parents, relatives, and friends. If among them there are men who value family, children, communication with their wife, then this is very good. Consider yourself lucky. And in most cases we see a very sad picture.

But we, women, can change it! After all, it is so natural for us to love, to give love, to give of ourselves. We know how to feel sorry and help, how to understand and reassure. This means we can teach our man to love! You just need to choose the right tactics.

But before we talk about it, let's look at the two most common mistakes that many women make in relationships with their men:

Mistake No. 1. A woman waits for her lover to guess and show love and his feelings. After all, it’s so simple and so clear: take care, pay attention, listen. And that’s why we, including me, often had the thought at one time:

“Can’t he really guess that I need him to support me, take pity on me, calm me down and just listen?”

Of course not. He can NOT guess . After all, he is a man, which means he is psychologically structured completely differently. We women intuitively feel love in attention and care, support, sympathy. But he, our beloved man, understands and shows love in a completely different way. For example, “I believe that you can handle it” or “don’t worry, we will solve your problem.” Is this familiar to you?

This is how he expresses love. He believes in us, which means he believes that we can handle it - this is how his support and love are shown. By the way, you can read in great detail about these differences in the expression of love in J. Gray’s book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.” This is simply a reference book about our differences and ways of reconciliation.

Now you just need to remember that, due to our psychological characteristics, we understand love differently, we express our feelings , gratitude, trust and admiration for our loved one in different ways. This means recognizing differences is our starting point.

Therefore, waiting for your man to figure out what you need can take a very long time, as long as you have enough patience, and there will be almost no changes. In addition, it is important to remember that men, with rare exceptions, rarely express their feelings, they are unusual in showing attention to another being, and often show care and love as faith in us.

* end of the first part, to be continued *

Katerina Flickop, author and host of the “Woman’s Way” newsletter. Secrets of Love and Creativity."

Attention! You can talk about love, family, relationships and receive a small gift from me!

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PS To receive new articles from my newsletter about love, male and female psychology, self-confidence and much more, you can subscribe here:

PS 2. Forward the article to your friends and acquaintances! Or send them a link to my newsletter: Thank you!

PS 3. Reprinting of the article is permitted and encouraged, with full preservation of the “about the author” block and the links in it. I will be glad to cooperate with you!

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Archive of previous issues: (mouse over the link to read the description) Test of Love (I recommend) How to easily and quickly get rid of obsessive thoughts? Time to thank yourself We are So Different, or Important features of male and female psychology

I will be glad to meet you on the pages of my newsletter! I wish you good luck and love!

Sincerely yours, Katerina Flikop

Respect his personal space.

Almost every person sometimes wants to be alone. And men also have this need. This does not mean that they want to distance themselves from girls or that they are not interested in them. It’s just important for them to sometimes be alone with themselves, think about other things, or free their heads from unnecessary thoughts by doing something like playing on a console or fixing a car.

In the women's “world” there are analogues of this behavior. For example, a long shower when you need to have time:

• in fact, carry out all hygiene procedures,
• sing into a comb/toothbrush,
• admire yourself
• mix the contents of different bottles;
• make faces in front of the mirror,
• draw something on the foggy glass,
• perform the dance of little ducklings, etc.

Interrupting the process of women's dreams and/or preening means signing a heavy sentence for yourself. So the male version of solitude does not look so strange or distant against this background. If a young man does not write/call a hundred times in an hour after the first meetings, this is not a reason to panic. Most likely, he’s just sorting out his own affairs or resting, but he’ll definitely make himself known a little later.

How to make anyone fall in love with you? 3 theories.

There are three full-fledged consistent theories of how you can attract the attention of the person you like. They are based on a slightly accelerated type of rapprochement. That is, during simple communication, people get closer smoothly, gradually, with pauses and rollbacks. These same techniques speed up the process a little and allow you to partially take control of how events will develop further.

However, it is important to remember that managing a situation is not just about privilege and power. It is also a great responsibility for fate - your own, that of another person and of a potential relationship. Therefore, use with caution is encouraged.

Adrenaline addiction.

The connection between the production of adrenaline in the blood and increased emotional and sexual desire was proven back in the last century. This hormone is produced in almost opposite states - love and fear. At the same time, the brain does not particularly distinguish which emotion causes the release of epinephrine. This feature can be used when trying to get closer.

If a person experiences adrenaline emotions while spending time with someone, he subconsciously develops sympathy for his partner. The body becomes excited due to external conditions, but such a reaction is attributed to the influence of the interlocutor. Allegedly, it is because of him that the heart beats faster, the knees give way, and the voice trembles.

How can one evoke such emotions in the object of sympathy? Several variants :

• going to an amusement park (including a panic room);
• watching an intense film (horror, thriller, action-drama);
• participation in outdoor competitions with elements of competition;
• driving fast in a car, motorcycle, ATV, etc.;
• a walk along the rope bridge or a route through the Thai park;
• extreme sports;
• horseback riding/roller skating/skating (if this is the first time for a partner).

But those who like to scare people and organize very scary pranks at the first meetings should curb their ardor. These, of course, are reliable ways to give emotions, but they are associated with inadequacy. In the (doubtfully) best case scenario, the “victim” will develop Stockholm syndrome. At worst, cortisol (the stress hormone) and the instinct of self-preservation will come into play, requiring you to run away from such a joker.

Take a mental test

“36 questions” technique.

This method is more suitable for those who are already quite familiar with the person they are about to charm. More than 20 years ago, Arthur Aron created 36 questions that, according to his idea, could even make strangers fall in love with each other. The psychologist’s experiment went off with a bang, the results were so successful that the whole world learned about the research. And even now many are trying to test the American questionnaire. Some are trying to refute the method, others are trying to fall in love themselves.

What is the secret of this technique?

1. All questions are of a rather intimate nature; to answer, you will have to open up, talk about personal things, and trust.
2. The interlocutors are required to provide a comprehensive story about different areas, so rapprochement also occurs due to the feeling “as if I’ve known him/her all my life.”
3. As the experiment progresses, both parties have to overcome shame and embarrassment, so the awkwardness becomes less and less over time.
4. After the end of the series of questions and answers, the participants silently look into each other’s eyes for 4 minutes, which also brings them closer together.

In order not to cause bewilderment in the eyes of your interlocutor, it is still better not to immediately say phrases like “Let’s answer these questions so that you quickly fall in love with me.” It is enough to offer such entertainment as a way to get to know each other better or even just have an interesting time.

By the way, already at the stage of relationships, Aron’s questionnaire will help strengthen the connection between partners, deepen feelings and mutual understanding.

"Mexican shower"

The theory was proposed by psychologists from America. And it got its hot name due to two factors:

1. the subjects of the study were marriages between Latinos;
2. it is based on a change of radically different, opposite phases.

The essence of the method allows you not only to interest your partner, but also to break up with someone without scandals, in the most natural, almost imperceptible way. There are several steps in this technique.

Unanimity phase.

At the stage of acquaintance or deepening relationships, partners try to please each other. One method to do this is to find common ideas, thoughts, opinions. If you can’t find them quickly, inventiveness and cunning are used.

For example, a girl asks a guy if he likes going to art galleries. He, trying to please her, answers positively. Even if he attended such events only once. And then when I accidentally got lost while looking for the restroom. The young lady is glad that they are “on the same wavelength,” gradually showing interest.

Breakup phase.

The essence of this stage is to create distance, but not to reduce communication to nothing. Most often these are ignored calls and a reference to being busy when refusing to meet. But, despite the distance, it is important to leave hope - call back after several missed calls, respond later to unread SMS, offer to meet another time.

Sounds like the perfect plot for teen dramas, cheap soap operas, pick-up courses. However, oddly enough, this method works well, and it is this phase that plays a very important role.

Joining phase.

This is the stage of deepening intimacy, trying to get to know each other well, opening up, and strengthening trust. During this period, the couple begins to share secrets, have intimate conversations, and show slight imperfections.

Further, the entire theory is based on the sequential alternation of “cold-hot”. Progress is felt with a smooth expansion of the boundaries of what is permitted, a gradual reduction in strength, the duration of the rupture phases and the deepening of the joining phases.

Take the Freud test

Divorced man: how to tame him?

When meeting a divorced man, remember that you should not start a conversation about his former family. Men often experience a breakup more painfully than women. This is due to the fact that he simultaneously loses his wife and children. A mother can distract herself from sad thoughts by caring for her children. Therefore, even after a long period of time after the divorce, do not start asking questions about your ex-wife. If you are interested in what really happened between the spouses, ask the guy’s acquaintances and friends, although they may distort the truth a little. Try not to draw conclusions based on the stories of outside observers.

Are you dating a divorced man and he himself started talking about his former family? Listen to him carefully and draw your own conclusions. In such a situation, you will have the opportunity to look at your chosen one as a family man. If he begins to blame his ex-wife for everything, do not rush to condemn him; perhaps this is a natural defensive reaction. But you should be wary if a man constantly complains about his wife and, in general, about everyone around him. It looks like you are going to connect your life with an infantile person who is unable to take responsibility.

Be wary if a man practically does not raise his children and does not meet with them. This indicates a person’s selfishness and callousness. A responsible father loves his children and suffers greatly from not seeing them all the time.

How to make a divorced man fall in love with you

Does your loved one have children that he is ready to talk about day and night? When you get married, you will have to accept them as your own, and not every woman is ready for this. Moreover, if a man understands that you treat children with coldness, he may think about reuniting with his ex-wife.

Carefully find out from the man what exactly he didn’t like about his wife’s behavior and develop your own style of behavior with him. Just don’t pretend, the man will feel deceived, and you won’t be able to constantly play someone else’s role, especially if you get married.

www.justlady.ru

Stay-at-home dad: how to teach a man to love his children?

How to teach your husband to love children?
Love of children is a natural property of the soul; it manifests itself in a person in different ways, and, like any talent, it must be identified and developed through many years of exercise and training. But deep down, I’m sure that when I answer like that, I’m lying. I don’t want to play the role of “Captain Obvious” and upset with the elementary truth - it is impossible to force a person to be happy and kind. Moreover, when we are talking about a sexually mature human individual, external experiments on consciousness in the direction of improving its perception of the world are inhumane and, as a rule, fraught with failure. And here the main thing for women who are going to connect their lives with a man is not to rely on the proverbial chance, but to be careful when choosing.

Marriage is not a state, but a process with its own logic of development. And there are circumstances that make it extremely difficult to choose a life partner correctly. The first of them is a temporary exhibitor. In our youth, we are all soft and fluffy, especially when the amount of love hormones in the blood is off the charts. But time passes, and the beautiful, enthusiastic love is quickly consumed by everyday life. Unsettledness, like an invisible war, the harsh truth of life in a matter of years, months, or even days, reveals all the negative qualities of the spouses that lay somewhere far away. It seems that each of us has in our memory a dozen or two examples of how, under the pressure of life circumstances - in our conditions, this is, as a rule, an addiction to vodka and cramped living conditions - promising young talented people, knights and handsome men, became rednecks , beating women and their children and alcoholics full of bestial insignificance.

If you have already decided to have children from a person whose moral qualities you doubt, whose love you are not sure of, then know that you have committed an obvious heinous act in front of your personal future. And they gave a big big pig to their children! The same “sadness” will happen if there are doubts about the sincerity of your love for a man. Life is a very long process and a cunning female calculation: “I’ll give him children, where will he go later”, usually ends in the very near future with an obvious family disaster and, as a rule, distorted children’s destinies.

I don’t want to delve into the existential essence of our choice when we decide to commit such a great act as marriage. Existentialism, the philosophy of Kierkegaard, Sartre and Berdyaev is a very personal thing, whether to accept it or not is a matter of personal choice, but the need for everyone to be responsible for their actions is absolutely unconditional. If not before people, then before children and God, we, parents, will still have to answer. Therefore, my advice is: think a hundred times about who you decide to connect your life with, with whom you will have to have children. However, I’ll make a reservation: in order to understand the moral essence of your chosen one, you need, at a minimum, to have a basic set of your own moral criteria.

Vladimir Sarana

Stay at home dad

I got married a long time ago, not yet being a student, out of great love and some kind of providence from above, and I cannot say that it was one hundred percent conscious. Then, in the Soviet era, it was accepted and pleasant to be married. If you love a person, get married, why are you squeezing in the corners? After many years, everything is going well with our marriage. At least that's what I think. Perhaps my wife has different views on our more than 25-year life together. But, as they say, there are so many people, so many opinions!

Let's return “from theory to practice.” There are many child-loving fathers, and the indignation of the fair half of humanity that real men – fathers and husbands – have disappeared is a frank “exaggeration”. It is enough to look around you closely at children's sporting events or at reporting concerts in regional cultural centers and music schools during concerts of young talents. Young fathers who are worried about their children, overcome with touching enthusiasm, or already gray-haired and pot-bellied heads of families are, as a rule, visible to the naked eye. There are many of them, the majority of them! Watching them is a quiet and pleasant pleasure. Over the course of many years of my daughter’s performances at sports competitions, I noticed several typological traits in child-loving fathers. And so – I’m sharing. A decent man is one who:

• Treats parents and family with respect. Traditional, or as they are now commonly called, classic, family values, could not be more relevant now. But that's not what this is about. A man who speaks respectfully of his parents, is proud of his parents and is grateful to them for the work, money and effort that his parents invested in his upbringing and health, in all likelihood will be a good husband and father, since he was brought up with dignity and saw a good example in front of him . Regardless of what place his parents occupied in the social hierarchy. Therefore, a disdainful attitude towards parents, discussion of difficulties in relationships with parents, offensive comments such as “laces in a glass”, “ancestors” and so on are sure signs that your chosen one has psychological problems. Fear of starting a family, of fatherhood, has the same reasons.

• Respectful attitude towards one's own family. The risk of getting a headache is very high if your loved one is married and speaks about his ex-wife and past (or current) family in extremely negative terms. You can, of course, try to replace his “ex” and try to create a new family, but you should be aware that this crisis is systemic, the probability of failure is extremely high. A noble man is noble in everything; being a gentleman is simple and has never been forbidden to anyone.

• Sentimentality, willingness to help the weak. If a man shows sincere, sincere compassion and respect for children, the sick, the elderly, and animals, then he is a good person.

• Pets, by the way, are a separate, important topic for psychological studies of family and marriage. They say that Hitler loved animals very much and at the same time - without a doubt - remained a fiend of hell until the end of his life. But caring for animals helps to reveal the potential of kindness in a man if he grew up, for example, as an only child in the family, and he did not have the practical opportunity as a child to learn to take care of someone.

• Unfulfillment in childhood. Often the active fathers I met dreamed of realizing their unfulfilled childhood dreams in their own children. In moderate doses, such activity is very useful for the development of a child - it manifests itself in a craving for shared leisure time with dad, a common hobby.

• A strong man is kind. Kindness is only partly an innate feeling; to a greater extent it is brought up at an early, not yet very conscious age by parents or educators, if parents are absent for some reason. And the rest of a person’s life largely depends on how powerful a supply of kindness and morality a child received in childhood. Sometimes the potential for kindness, like other spiritual talents, is deeply hidden in a man. And the wife must reveal these virtues with her painstaking, tireless work, invisible at first glance. I am sure that this is one of the highest purposes of women - to reveal masculine virtues.

Having become independent, having started our own path in life, we can very quickly use up the entire supply of warmth invested in us by our loving parents in childhood. You also need to be able to reproduce goodness in the process of life, both in yourself and in others...

Be bright and energetic.

Positive energy and a friendly attitude are ideal for pleasant and long-term communication. You don't have to be a restless energizer (unless it's a natural personality trait), just staying positive is enough.

It is unlikely that anyone will like an interlocutor who is too shy, taciturn, or deeply and for a long time saddened by something. You can discuss problems with friends or your mother, but personal troubles are not suitable for meeting a man. It is important to create a festive cheerful mood, and not spoil it. The first phrases will set the tone for the entire conversation. Below are a few more rules about this.

• Being cheerful does not mean literally squeezing joy and optimism out of yourself. It's just a good mood, sincere joy, inspiration. They are easily transmitted to the interlocutor and begin to be associated with their source.
• A sense of humor is welcome, but you should not abuse it. The ability to make people laugh makes a person dominant on a subconscious level. It’s better to encourage a man’s jokes more often, periodically adding your own to them.
• Laughter isn't everything. You can “broadcast” peace, love for everything around, a kind of “quiet happiness”, and not its stormy streams.

In general, you will have to be in a good mood to meet a guy or try to woo him. There is no other way.

Take a sexuality test

Meeting new people is always accompanied by awkwardness and difficulties. What to ask a person? How to make a good impression on him? How to keep a conversation going? Research shows that relationships are important to happiness, and networking can be helpful in finding a job and building a successful career.

But what is the best way to connect and build trust? How to make people love you?

Robin Dreek will help answer these questions.

Robin directed the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Program; he has been studying interpersonal relationships for 27 years and is an expert on how to make people love you.

Robin is the author of the wonderful book It's Not All About “Me”: The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone.

I called him to get some answers. (Please note that Robin is not speaking on behalf of the FBI, but simply sharing his thoughts.)

So, after reading this article you will learn:

1. The key secret to successful communication with people;

2. How to ensure ease when talking with strangers;

3. What do you do wrong when interacting with people;

4. How to use body language at a professional level;

5. What to do when they try to manipulate you.

And much more. Well, let's get started.

1. Key aspect when interacting with people

Robin's tip #1: Don't judge other people's thoughts and opinions.

Ask questions. Listen. But don't judge. No one, including you, likes to be judged.

Robin says, “When I communicate with anyone, I always use an unbiased assessment strategy. Don't judge other people's thoughts and opinions. People don't want their every opinion, thought or action to be judged.

However, this does not mean that you agree with someone on everything. Assessment takes time to understand the needs, desires, dreams and aspirations of other people.

When I hear something that I don't agree with, instead of judging, I say, “Oh, that's very interesting. I've never heard thoughts like this before. Help me figure it out. How did you come to this?”

You are not judging, but showing interest. And this allows people to calmly continue talking about their favorite topic - themselves.

Research shows that people get more pleasure from talking about themselves than from food or money.

So, you stopped judging people, and it wasn't easy. What's next?

2. Quiet your ego to make people love you

Most of us go out of our way to prove others wrong. (Take online comments, for example.)

And this has a negative impact on building relationships. Do you want to fix someone? Do you want to outdo them with your clever story? Do not do that.

Robin states: “Quenching your ego means forgetting about your own needs, desires and opinions. Conscious control of your desires is the right decision that will help you correct another person. Don't let your emotions get the better of you when you find yourself in a situation where you don't agree with someone else's thoughts, opinions, or actions."

Conflicting people don't build relationships. Dale Carnegie said this many years ago - and modern neuroscience agrees with his words.

When people hear something that contradicts their beliefs, they turn off logic and prepare their brains for confrontation.

From the book Persuasive People: The Hidden Qualities That Make Us Influential by John Neffinger and Matthew Kohut: “So what happens in the brain of a person who hears information that contradicts his worldview in a tense political environment? ...the parts of his brain responsible for logic and reasoning go into inactive mode, after which those that control hostile attacks turn on.”

So, you are no longer a know-it-all. But how do you gain a reputation as a good listener?

3. How to become a good listener

We all know that listening is an important skill to successfully interact with people, but no one explains how to use it correctly. What's the secret?

Stop thinking about what to say next in order to continue the conversation, and focus on what your interlocutor is saying.

Be curious and ask more questions about what interests you.

Research shows that when people ask someone to tell them more about something, they become more likable and likable in their eyes.

The basics of active listening are quite simple:

1. Listen carefully to your interlocutor. Don't interrupt, argue or judge him.

2. Nod your head and make brief affirming comments like “yes” or “uh-huh.”

3. Do not hesitate to summarize the essence of what your interlocutor said.

4. Be curious. Ask questions that show your interest in the topic, develop it.

4. What questions to ask people

Life presents “surprises” to everyone: rich and poor, old and young.

Everyone has difficulties in life, and we like to discuss them. Robin says: “What I love most is talking about problems. “What difficulties did you encounter at work during this week? What types of problems are prevalent in this region? What problems do parents face when raising teenagers?” Everyone has problems. They get people to share what they care about most in their lives at the moment.”

Questions are an incredibly powerful tool. What is one of the most powerful ways to influence others? Please advise anything.

From Adam Grant's book, Giving and Receiving: A Revolutionary Approach to Success: “Research shows that in the manufacturing, financial services, insurance, and pharmaceutical industries, seeking advice is one of the most effective ways to influence peers, bosses, and subordinates. Seeking advice is a more persuasive tactic than putting pressure on subordinates and currying favor with superiors.”

If you think that you can use this for personal gain, then you are mistaken. This method only works when your intentions are sincere. At least that's what research results suggest.

5. How to make someone feel at ease during a conversation

Tell him that you don't have much time and you will need to leave soon. Robin explains: “When people think you're going to leave soon, they relax. If you sit down next to someone at a bar and say: “Can I treat you to something?”, the person will hide behind a screen. “Who are you, what do you want and when will you leave?” - the first questions that will arise in his head. Your task is to answer the question in the first few seconds when you are going to leave.”

Research shows that when you ask people if now is a good time to talk and so on, they are more likely to say yes.

Nobody wants to feel trapped talking to some weirdo. People are willing to help you, but they need to feel safe and in control of the situation.

According to Robin, one of the main reasons why people are perceived as untrustworthy is the discrepancy between their words and body language. How can I fix this?

6. Body language and relationship building

Your words should be positive, free from ego and judgment, and your body language (“non-verbal”) should match them.

Here's what Robin recommends:

1. The most important thing is to smile. Smiling is a great way to build trust.

2. Don't lift your head up too much so that you don't think you're looking down on others. Keep it tilted slightly to the side.

3. There is no need to turn your entire body towards the interlocutor. This may be taken as an insult. Keep the angle small.

4. When speaking, hold your hands with your palms up, not down. This indicates that you hear your interlocutor and are open to his ideas.

5. Always make sure you use good, open, comfortable non-verbal communication. For example, avoid pursing your lips, as this may be interpreted as a sign that you are under stress.

Research results support his point of view. A smile really works wonders. It makes us happy and gives us as much pleasure as 2000 bars of chocolate - or 25 thousand dollars!

7. How to deal with someone you don’t trust

What to do when you feel that someone is trying to manipulate you using the methods described above?

Don't be hostile, just ask directly what the person wants from you. What is his purpose for communicating with you?

Robin says: “The first thing I try to do is clarify goals. I interrupt the conversation and say: “You just bombarded me with nice words. I see you are skilled at what you do. But I'm curious to know this: what is your goal? What are you trying to achieve? If you share your goals with me, we can discuss what can be done to achieve them so that it will be good for both you and me. If not, that's fine too.

In such cases I observe. If someone tries to evaluate me and my thoughts and views, I become wary. I like doing this. I check the person's intentions. If he is solely pursuing his own interests and does not take into account my priorities, then I conclude that I am being manipulated.”

How to establish a relationship with a person? Focus on trust, not tricks. This is how you will earn respect. According to research, most people consider trustworthiness to be the most important character trait.

Food for thought provided. Analyze what you read and highlight for yourself what you can begin to apply in your life today.

The material was prepared specifically for readers of the Muz4in.Net blog

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Is it possible to force a person to love another

“I love a man who is indifferent to me. I have to somehow make him love me! So that he can see that I’m the one who suits him better than anyone else!” – such thoughts come to every woman’s mind from time to time. What is love, how to cause it and what does it depend on? It’s impossible to fit the feeling into a logical framework. For some, “to love” means “to experience sexual attraction,” for others it means “to be in debt,” “to be grateful for kindness.” And a million other options. But love, and especially falling in love, cannot be reduced to duty: where there are obligations and debts, there is no place for living feelings.

“How to make a man love me if he doesn’t love me” is, of course, a relevant question for many. But let’s be clear right away: romantic relationships are not business relationships, and the categories of duty and responsibilities do not apply here. Any “obligation” is an unpleasant burden, a yoke around the neck that you want to get rid of as quickly as possible. Or a purely commercial approach: I give you this, you give me that (in this case, a promise to love until the end of time).

No one owes anyone anything in love! This does not depend on the amount of investment, since the main thing here is the feelings themselves, and not calculations. No matter how much you invest, you are unlikely to be able to force your partner to repay your “debt” - to love you just as much. Therefore, don’t demand, don’t expect, don’t even dream of a “fair”, symmetrical return, just love the person so much that you don’t want anything more from him. With this approach, there is a chance to truly love a person and build a strong, deep relationship with him. To love means to give, without calculations or demands, to give everything and not ask for anything in return.

But the feeling of love itself cannot be conveyed to a partner: despite all the material and spiritual wealth that the lover generously shares, all his experiences of love are only his property. Love cannot be contagious. That is why the above-mentioned exchange relationship “you - to me, I - to you” cannot work here: the feelings of one will not necessarily cause reciprocal feelings in the other. But despite all these difficulties, love remains a huge treasure that not everyone gets in life. If you manage to fall in love, you can call yourself a happy person.

But what to do if you want to be truly loved? Just sit back? Of course not! We need to act! We need to act and actively, diligently develop. We attract those we deserve. Therefore, in order to attract a worthy man and create a relationship based on sincere love, it is important for women to constantly work on themselves, on their femininity, and so on.

How to do this - let's look further!

How to make a guy fall head over heels in love

First of all, I would like to note that the formulation “make yourself fall in love” is fundamentally incorrect, because it is impossible to force someone to experience any emotions and feelings, in particular, to force them to love.

But it is quite possible to attract attention, arouse interest and achieve favor on his part.

To do this, you will have to try, turn on your natural charm and feminine cunning.

It is important that he is sure that the initiative belongs to him. And even though you are already completely chilled, running circles around his office, waiting for him to appear at the door of the building, he must be confident that your meeting was accidental, and it was he who noticed you and dared to get acquainted. And even though you said this fateful “hello”, who will remember it if after that you chatted for another 2 hours and he made you a new date.

It's all about male psychology, which is aimed at obtaining the necessary needs for life on one's own.

This applies to everything: be it a roof over your head, food, a new car or the desired girl. This is typical for men of any age. And at 20, and at 30, and at 40 years old, he will believe that only he has the right to choose his own path in life. Considering this main feature of male psychology, you will achieve your goal much faster and easier.

Read more: Honesty and dishonesty: why people lie

Women's tricks to conquer a man

Then it’s a matter of technique, just apply a few simple techniques, and your dream is already at your feet. So:

1. Indifference. Remember that the guy does not yet have reciprocal feelings for you, his interest is much less than yours. Under no circumstances should you treat him like your boyfriend. Don’t make scenes of jealousy for him by meticulously finding out where and with whom he spent last night and who called him from an unfamiliar number at 12 o’clock at night. You don't have the right to do this yet. Pretend that you are not at all interested in where he will invite you today, because you are a self-sufficient person who has a choice of how to spend this evening, and you are doing him a big favor by agreeing to go somewhere with him. Such ostentatious indifference will ignite his hunter instinct, therefore, interest in your mysterious person will increase significantly.
2. Surround yourself with fans. A little flirting with cute guys will play into your hands, be always polite, friendly, cheerful, friendly and you won’t notice how you will become the life of the party and the subject of admiration and adoration of many young people. And it doesn’t matter that you don’t need the attention of many, you would give everything for the interest of one, but this will help you on the way to your goal. Seeing that you are in such demand among people of the opposite sex and feeling the competition, your boyfriend willy-nilly will look at you more closely. He won’t put off the date until tomorrow, because every minute, such a popular girl will be taken away from under his nose.
3. Create an aura of mystery around yourself. This does not mean that you need to walk around with a dreamy expression on your face, like a somnambulist. Mystery, understatement and slight reticence should be present in your relationship. Show him that you have your own life, your friends, interests and hobbies. You don't have to spend time with him on demand. Without going into details, say that you already have plans for this evening, but you will be happy to spend Wednesday or Thursday evening in his company. Even if the real reason for the refusal is a banal trip to the store, he, without knowing this, will be tormented and at a loss as to why you refused. Involuntarily, his thoughts will periodically return to you. The main thing is not to overdo it: such things need moderation.

Read more: Adult life with parents

What feminine tricks will make a man fall in love?

1. As you know, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Pamper your man more often with culinary delights and his favorite dishes. He will definitely appreciate it.
2. Don't sweat the small stuff. For example, after work, a man wants to rest, relax, feel desired and loved, and not listen to your comments.
3. Get rid of bad habits. No man likes women who smoke. For the sake of your loved one, you can eradicate this addiction, especially since this is necessary primarily for your health.
4. Try to make concessions. In this way, your loved one will be able to regain lost self-confidence and feel like the main one in the relationship, for many this is an important aspect.

How to help a man fall in love with you and love you: 7 simple steps

7 components of the secret of a man falling in love:

1. Masculinity.

A man wants a woman who simply understands him. He wants her femininity to attract him the same way his masculinity attracts her. He wants a woman who values ​​his ability to protect, provide and solve problems. He wants her to admire his resilience and sense of calm under pressure. He doesn't want to feel like less of a man.

In short, he wants a woman who sees him as the hero he always wanted to be. And when you understand this, you will be surprised how much he truly is a hero in his heart, how much he is truly willing to die for you.

2. Acceptance.

Don't try to change him, because this will immediately make him close himself off from you. If you can't wait to change his clothing style, his circle of friends, his manner of conversation, his hobbies - don't do it! Just find someone you can respect and appreciate for who they are. If he needs your help, he will ask for it.

3. Gratitude.

A man has two main gifts for a woman: the ability to protect and provide. If he is willing to risk his life for you, if he invests his time, talent and abilities to provide for you, all he wants in return is your gratitude.

He just wants you to appreciate that he works hard to take care of you. That's not a lot. So if you want a man to appreciate you and fall in love with you, don't take him for granted or disrespect his efforts.

4. Caring.

A man is attracted to a woman's beauty and grace, but beyond that, on an instinctive level, he is drawn to her feminine ability to care. This means giving more than receiving. It's doing something for him.

Where to start winning a man’s heart: advice from a psychologist

Useful recommendations from experts:

• Know how to listen - let him tell you more about himself . This will make a good impression on a man on the first date. Make it a rule - let him speak, and you will tell about yourself later. The benefit of this position was proven by Harvard psychologists J. Mitchell and D. Tamir back in 2012. Listen more to your interlocutor and sympathy will definitely be on your side.
• Ask him for advice on a particular issue. This will allow a man to realize his full importance and increase his status in his own eyes. According to scientist Adam Grant, this is the best way to improve relationships. The main thing is to know when to stop. An unsuccessful attempt to seek advice, especially on issues that require deep professional knowledge, may, on the contrary, push the desired object away from you.
• Be a positive communicator. Please note that identical emotions are enhanced due to resonant consonance, while opposite ones are extinguished. Nobel laureate D. Kahneman argued that a conversation started with a positive question or statement puts a person in a good mood and makes it easier for him to further perceive what he heard.

• While talking, repeat the last phrase of your counterpart, coloring it emotionally . This will give him a signal that you have caught his thought, and will allow you to easily and naturally maintain a dialogue for a long time. In addition, the man will receive confirmation that you are interested in listening to him. Communications expert L. Lowndes is confident that becoming a good listener will make the other person fall in love with you.
• Don't think negative thoughts. This feature of the psyche often makes us talk more about the frightening and unpleasant. Because of this, people most often happily discuss other people’s problems, natural disasters, criminal incidents, while at the subconscious level the negative topic of conversation causes the interlocutor to associate it with those “horror films” that you talk about a lot. Dr. R. Wiseman warns that a man is unlikely to love you because his “emotional memory” has captured you as dark and suppressive. Only confidential communication will awaken approval in a person and endear him to you.

How to Use Psychology to Make Someone Love You (Forever)

Do you believe that love cannot be controlled?

Do you believe that if a person doesn't love you from the very beginning, there is no chance?

Do you believe that it is impossible to make someone fall madly in love with you?

More interesting things - in our Telegram channel https://t.me/brainumru

If you answered yes, it is also very likely that you believe in chance and fate. Most people are under the impression that love is something that cannot be changed and they also believe that it is something that cannot be manipulated.

I guess I once thought so too.

But extensive research over the years has proven that you really can control love. And all this can be done through the power of the mind.

You see, love is no different from other psychological emotions that you may experience on a daily basis, such as:

• Fear

• Stress

• Jealousy

• Self-pity

• Anxiety

The above mentioned emotions can be controlled and since love falls under the category of “psychological emotions”, it can also be controlled. Managing love as an emotion is as easy as controlling fear, anxiety or stress. The problem is what we have been taught to believe. For many years, we were convinced that love was something that “just happened.” Everything depends on “fate”.

The reality, however, is very different. With the right knowledge, you can use the psychology of love to make him or her fall in love with you.

1. How we fall in love and psychology.

Before you even think about going down the path of learning how to make someone fall madly in love with you, you need to look at the psychological aspect of it, and no, it has nothing to do with magic potions and midnight chants.

Without even realizing it, you and everyone else you know have a checklist stored in the back of your mind. This list contains a set of criteria that your potential love interest must have before you can fall in love with them. Psychologists call this list a “Lovemap.”

If someone doesn't meet one or more of the items on this list, they are automatically disqualified as a potential love partner and they will probably just remain your friend, so you might fall in love with one person while others are your "friends" "

Of course, each person's checklist is different and unique.

Below is an example of Jamie's checklist. Jamie is a 26-year-old man with several serious relationships. He graduated from university for two years and works in London. He is tired of dating women and is looking for a more serious partner. Jamie's checklist starts with the following 4 conditions:

1. She must have the same level of education as me.

2. She should be a brunette

3. She should be close to her family and family oriented.

4. She must love to travel.

If Jamie is currently sitting but looking for a partner and meets a wonderful woman with red hair, there is a chance that he will not fall in love with her. Although he might think just as well of her, he won't understand that the thing that stops the attraction... is his subconscious list of different criteria.

2. How to manipulate the mind so that you are loved.

Here are some proven methods that may help:

1. Meeting various criteria. We all have that list (or Lovemap) in our minds. This list has all the basic criteria that we expect before we even think about falling in love with someone. Some examples of such criteria might include: “He must love dogs,” “He must be active,” “He must be educated,” etc. Before you try to make a person fall in love with you, do some research.

Find out all the basic information about their background and interests - the more you know, the better - and then try to meet their criteria that way.

2. Fulfill their unmet need. When people are looking for a new partner, they try to find another person who is like them in different ways. They look for their personal strengths in a person, as well as the opposite of their weaknesses. For example, a person who tends to feel inferior but is also intelligent will seek a partner who is also intelligent, but instead of inferiority they will seek confidence to help create a better balance.

3. How hard are you trying? Many people often wonder if persistence and constant pursuit work. Being externally dependent means that a person relies on something or someone to make them feel better or to escape a bad place in their life. If a person falls into this category, it is highly likely that they will not miss any opportunity to enter into a new relationship. In this case, the chances of this person falling in love with you are much greater. In short, when people are more vulnerable and needy, they are more likely to want to fall in love with you faster.

4. Use your friends. If you and your crush have mutual friends, you can and should use this to your advantage. If their friends think you're nice, he'll likely agree.

5. Associate yourself with positive things. When your name is mentioned in a crowd, what is the first word that is likely to come to people's minds? How do they see you? The better you position yourself in people's minds, the better people will perceive you. It doesn't matter what you are (we all have negative qualities), it's all about how they perceive you. And you just want them to perceive you in a positive light.

Translation and adaptation of “Brainum”

Source

What does a man want after a divorce?

So, how to win over a divorced man?

and make him fall in love with you? When creating a relationship with a divorced man, first of all, put yourself in his place. Perhaps he is recently divorced and does not want to tie himself to Hymen again. Afraid of making a mistake again and going through the unpleasant divorce procedure again?! A divorced man is like a frightened crow, afraid of every bush!

A divorced man, first of all, is not looking for a life partner, but a partner for sex. If you have plans for a divorced man, you must be patient a little. He feels good, cozy, comfortable with you, and this is the key to further more serious relationships.

Is it possible to make a man love a woman?

Any woman at least once in her life has thought about the topic: how to overcome his indifference so that he loves me?

First you need to decide what this feeling means to you. After all, it is quite difficult to fit it into a specific concept. Some equate love with intimate attraction, while others consider it a duty in gratitude for a kind attitude.

It is absurd to equate this pure feeling with any obligations, so it is impossible to force a person to love himself. Otherwise, he will most likely want to get rid of you quickly .

Important! In this situation, you can only count on the awakening of a romantic feeling, and not rely on a dry and calculating sense of duty.

Remember - no one can be obliged to love someone as selflessly or to reciprocate purely out of fairness.

!— Yandex.RTB RA-461895-3 —

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Reference! In fact, love is the joy of self-sacrifice without demanding anything in return. Only then is there a real opportunity to build a strong union with your loved one, based on mutual understanding and respect.

Do you want true mutual love? Take action! Moreover, without putting it on the back burner.