What does "hypocrite" mean?
The etymology of the word is immediately clear: “trying on faces” means hiding one’s real face. In ancient Rome, this was the name given to actors who actually wore and changed masks with grimaces painted on them. Today, a hypocrite is an insincere, two-faced person who does not say what he really thinks, for the sake of achieving some of his goals or unconsciously. In other words, hypocrisy is a discrepancy between words and actions and true judgments and feelings.
Hypocrite
What is hypocrisy
Essentially, this concept is based on hiding the truth. That is, hypocrites play for the audience, demonstrating emotions that they do not actually feel. Accordingly, their perception of the situation is different from the one they are trying to show, which means that the behavior of such a person will also run counter to his values and attitudes.
According to ethical standards, hypocrisy is a negative quality, since a person behaves immorally due to his selfishness, explaining by good intentions, highly moral motivation and action with the best intentions. That is, the objective meaning of such actions and the meaning attributed by the hypocrite are strikingly different.
Sometimes hypocrisy can be appropriate - in cases where it is necessary to hide the truth. For example, in relationships with superiors at work or teachers at a university, it is most often impossible to stop communicating with such people, even if they are unpleasant. In such situations, a certain amount of falsehood is necessary to avoid dismissal or expulsion from the university.
However, in most cases, a person puts on a mask that hides his worldview and beliefs not only from society, but often from himself. While playing social roles, individuals do not betray their principles, but by trying on the social mask of hypocrisy, the individual hides his true intentions and feelings.
People are inclined to such actions and hypocrisy by low self-esteem, which is based on the fear of rejection and misunderstanding by society, and public condemnation.
It seems to a person that he is not worthy of love as he is, worse than others, so he tries to hide his defectiveness. The Austrian psychoanalyst, psychiatrist and neurologist Sigmund Freud believed that others incline a person to hypocrisy, because society is characterized by inconstancy and uncertainty. The environment demands that one meet high standards without asking whether an individual is capable of this, and sincere and highly moral behavior is not always justified. That is, the individual does not receive what he deserves for sacrificing something important and must himself understand how to justify such a sacrifice without violating spiritual harmony. This means that hypocrisy is a consequence of an attempt to maintain balance.
Leon Festinger, an American psychologist, found that hypocrites feel uncomfortable due to the fact that real emotions and demonstrated ones do not match. Therefore, the psychotherapist proposed the concept of cognitive dissonance, which explained the discomfort experienced with hypocrisy. Following the teaching, when a couple of people of the same thinking enter into dissonance and one person tries to overcome it, and as a result becomes a hypocrite.
The question of this quality is also raised in various religions. In Christianity, hypocrisy is a sin, a mental illness that must be cured through confession - that is, receive a cure from God, because this characteristic is based on lies, and the father of lies is the devil himself. However, the New Testament gives a slightly different interpretation of hypocrisy - it is a person who does something so that others will notice. Islamists emphasize that such a person only shows himself to be a believer, but is not one. It is interesting that in this religion, hypocrisy is a sin worse than disbelief in God, and hypocrites, when they die, end up in the most terrible, lower tier of hell, because, being between belief and disbelief, such people weave intrigues and create unrest around themselves. In battles, liars run away from enemy troops, but when they win, they try to get most of what they conquered. Judaism also condemns such behavior and hypocrisy; according to Rashi, speech and heart exist separately for these people. In turn, a believer speaks the truth both in his soul and in his voice.
How to recognize a hypocrite?
Intuitively, we all have a good sense of who hypocrites are, but there are a number of signs that instantly indicate the insincerity of the person in front of you:
- Tendency to gossip . If a completely friendly interlocutor at some point begins to say nasty things about mutual friends, know that he will say the same thing about you behind your back. What kind of sincerity are we talking about here?
- Ingratiating yourself with those in power . As soon as someone influential, popular or higher in rank appears in the field of view, does the acquaintance's behavior change to servile and flattering? Probably such a two-faced person seeks to gain some benefit from someone else’s status.
- Unkept promises . You can easily and quickly win the favor of others by promising them all sorts of benefits. Having received momentary recognition, the undertaken obligations must be fulfilled. This is what hypocritical politicians often do.
- A strained smile and tension in the voice . Feigned friendliness can be seen in a smile, in which only the lips smile, but not the eyes.
Why are people so hypocritical?
You may have noticed that you behave differently in different conditions: at work you are limited by office rules, at home you are relaxed, and with friends you joke and show off. It is natural to adapt to the situation, but some people, when adapting, lose their principles and beliefs for the sake of profit. A two-faced hypocrite is ready to go over his head, change his views and rhetoric, just to present himself in the right light at the current moment.
However, lying and pretense do not always indicate an evil nature or a conscious desire to deceive. It happens that hypocrisy, as a moral quality, forms a kind of protection from the outside world. Insincerity arises in response to the fear of not being accepted, not meeting other people's expectations, not fitting into generally accepted norms. Hypocritically presenting yourself as someone you are not is the only way out.
You think you are better than others
Humans are not cold, logical robots, and we tend to have a higher opinion of ourselves than we actually have. Most people are self-serving when they estimate their own abilities and performance to be much higher than they actually are. People who achieve a certain level of intellectual achievement in certain contexts can change this, but we mostly think too well of ourselves.
No wonder; the brain is riddled with cognitive biases and memory biases that are designed to make us feel good, decent, and capable, regardless of reality. The problem is that our judgments about other people are much more “realistic”.
Where does hypocrisy occur?
You can encounter hypocrisy anywhere, for example:
- In trade . Advertising, marketing gimmicks, online sales and pyramid schemes are all filled with hypocrisy. Convincing the consumer that your product is very necessary and the best on the market is a talent that has little to do with sincerity.
- In politics . They say that there is no place for principles in this area; only momentary interest rules there. The struggle for voters in the election race and the neglect of their needs after the elections clearly show us who the hypocritical politician is.
- At work . Intrigue and the struggle to move up the career ladder with feigned friendliness - who is unfamiliar with this?
- In the immediate vicinity , unfortunately. An insincere person can also be found among loved ones, having been admitted there through negligence. Such people provide us with bitter experience, but also teach us not to make mistakes in the future.
Why do you need to get rid of the habit of hiding real emotions?
Become free
People can limit themselves by independently hanging a “label of inadequacy” around their neck. Why do you want to hide your emotions? Of course, this is a consequence of past grievances, misunderstood situations and the transformation of oneself into the lifestyle of a mollusk.
After all, it is impossible to cause pain when you hide your thoughts, like an experienced criminal. But sooner or later, “sobriety” comes and the person is able to understand that only by getting rid of the desire to hide emotions can one gain the real right to live in harmony with oneself. Let go of the past!
Establish contact with people
By getting rid of lies, you seek to enlist the support of old friends and make new ones. After all, if you think about it, we clearly “hear” on an intuitive level whether the interlocutor in the dialogue is lying to us or not?
Therefore, if you have ever been considered a hypocrite or a duplicitous person, it is never too late to change the situation.
By learning to talk about your secrets with trusted people, you will, firstly, feel better, and secondly, you will demonstrate trust and closeness to important characters in your life.
Advance your career ladder
Communication skills are also viewed through the prism of sincerity. If you are counting on moving along a professional route, you should think about acquiring a powerful skill in the ability to qualitatively present your ability to express a sincere attitude.
Improve family relationships
There is no place for guile and hypocrisy in family relationships. Dot!
Increase self-esteem and confidence
By giving yourself the opportunity to express the full range of emotions experienced in reality, you will feel a huge surge of self-confidence and gain a loyal circle of admirers who share your position in life.
Learn to trust people
You can’t live with the idea that there are enemies everywhere and you are a victim of the situation. By expecting evil from people, you will live your life without revealing your potential, both human and professional qualities.
Be real
By saying goodbye to masks, you will rid your consciousness and subconscious of a ton of unnecessary burden. In return for this will come a true awareness of your desires and the means of realizing them. And the game will remain for the theater!
Get rid of fear
Fear prevents a person from making his life richer and brighter. Think about how many dreams, desires and aspirations you have abandoned, citing only the fact that society will not accept you as nature intended?
Say goodbye to false beliefs and pain
False beliefs replace the picture of the real world, taking away a piece of the soul. Leave the pain in the past and focus on the present moment.
How to deal with hypocrites?
In order to protect yourself from disappointment, do not expect sincerity from the hypocrite. Realizing that this is a cunning person in front of you, beware of opening your soul to him or sharing your professional plans. When hypocrisy is unconscious, there is a chance to break through this armor: ask your interlocutor sudden questions of a personal nature - from surprise, truthful answers break through and complexes that provoke insincerity and hypocrisy become obvious, amenable to correction. Catching a deceiver in a lie is also an effective method of protecting against his further attempts to deceive.
How to expose a hypocrite?
A person who lies but knows the truth is by default in tension, trying to adhere to the legend. In this state, he can easily be driven to slips of the tongue that reveal insincerity. Psychologists advise using the following techniques for this:
- increase the voltage . Ask to retell a story you doubt about backwards, ask about the smallest details, or start questioning while the other person is concentrating on something else (for example, driving a car). The brain, already stressed by lies, will not cope with the additional load and will produce contradictory information.
- Talk a liar out . Create a relaxed atmosphere, start a conversation on abstract topics, make sure that the mask of the hypocrite falls off, and then take on the questions of interest. It's hard to lie in a relaxed state.
How to talk
The bad news is that there is no clear step-by-step conversation algorithm. The problems are individual: he does not believe that drug use is destroying him, does not want to be treated, does not fulfill his responsibilities, etc. Circumstances change and the solution is also different for everyone. At any moment, the conversation may not go according to plan. Emotions can overwhelm you and result in useless swearing.
Always remain calm and be willing to listen, even if things don't go according to script.
Determine your psychological mood and readiness for conversation by asking yourself the following questions:
- Will I be able to explain what’s bothering me without angering my loved one?
- Are there people in my environment whom the addict respects? In whose presence will the information be absorbed better?
- Will I be able to follow through with a conversation even if it doesn't go as planned?
These questions may seem simple, but they will add decisiveness and calmness if you speak and answer them out loud.
How to stop being a hypocrite?
It’s easy to judge others, but sometimes you end up catching yourself in systematic insincerity. Is there any reason to believe that others consider him a hypocrite and label him a “hypocrite”? It's time to reconsider your attitudes and be conscious of your own behavior:
- Allow yourself to be who you think you need to be, and push other people's expectations away.
- Determine which stereotypes interfere with freedom and work through them, perhaps even with a specialist.
- Think about how you can achieve your goals without resorting to lies.
- Find out what “hypocrite” means, and understand whether you really want to be like that?
