How to become a strong-willed man and woman - advice from a psychologist

How to become strong in spirit? Reconsider your value system, develop your will, and refocus your attention on higher-level needs. Actually, what is fortitude? According to definitions from psychological dictionaries, this is the ability to steadfastly endure the hardships of fate and rise above everyday problems. Synonyms for the phrase “strength of spirit”: high spirituality, mental fortitude.

Strength of spirit is closely related to determination, perseverance, inflexibility, and confidence. The one who, despite any difficulties in life, remains true to his morals, hopes for the best and looks for a way out of unpleasant situations, concentrates on the positive and always finds a reason for joy, is strong in spirit. How to become such a person? We'll figure out.

How to increase the strength of spirit and character of a man

There is not much difference in the development of morale between men and women. However, one cannot ignore public ideas about the image of a man and a woman, gender expectations and requirements. Therefore, we will analyze the development of fortitude separately for men and women.

How to become mentally strong - advice from a psychologist for men:

Allow yourself to experience and express any emotions. Yes, no matter how paradoxical it may sound, but when you allow yourself to be sad, cry, sincerely rejoice, etc., you become stronger and freer. Nobody says that this needs to be done immediately and publicly. If, for certain reasons, you cannot allow yourself such openness yet, then release your emotions in solitude.
Free yourself. In order to maintain psychological stability during difficult periods of life, and in general to maintain internal harmony, you need to have your own source of strength. Simply put, have a hobby, a hobby. Don't limit yourself. If you like something but think it's stupid, weird, or feminine, then allow yourself to do it anyway. It is optimal that the job matches your hobbies, even if according to stereotypes it is not at all suitable for a man. Examples of “non-male” professions in which you can find male specialists: manicurist or makeup artist, cashier, conductor, model, hairdresser, teacher, nanny, florist.
Look at public perceptions, but don't depend on them. Society expects from a man physical strength and visual attractiveness, financial solvency (the ideal is his own highly profitable business), fearlessness and omnipotence. In general, in the minds of most people, a man is like a universal robot: he works regularly, never gets tired, can do anything, is not capricious, and pleases everyone around him (women, grandmothers, girls, children, etc.). Step away from this and allow yourself to be yourself, to develop at your own pace and in your own system of values and priorities.

Society also believes that it is inappropriate for a man to talk about problems, much less ask for help. And only a few know that only a strong person can admit a problem and ask for help.

Important! Strength of spirit is cultivated over the years. Change doesn't happen overnight. Start working on yourself right now, and in a few months you will see lasting results.

What is fortitude? What happens and how to develop it in yourself

People learn what fortitude is when they face difficulties. Some people give up and fears arise, while others seem to have a second wind and resources to overcome, and the person becomes even stronger after overcoming the trials.

What does fortitude mean?

The moral and spiritual concept of fortitude denotes a qualitative phenomenon characteristic of a person who has embarked on the path of spiritual improvement or has passed through life’s difficulties and adversities with honor, but has not broken down and remained human. The strength of the spirit must be cultivated consciously, as was done in ancient times by people of the military class, and by people who devoted themselves to communication with the Divine.

What kind of strength of spirit is there?

To understand the phenomenon of fortitude, there are many descriptive words, each of which, like the facet of a diamond, highlights qualitative components, for example, invincible fortitude, immediately evokes an association with valiant warriors fighting for their land. What other epithets can describe the strength of spirit:

unbending;
indestructible;

majestic;
amazing;
mighty;
extraordinary;
endless.

The problem of fortitude

People who survived severe hardships and adversity, but remained human in the high human understanding of this word, grew spiritually and acquired an inner, unbending core. The problem of fortitude is a confrontation with a reality when a weak person may not be able to bear the burden, but a strong person will, but at the cost of what effort? Nobody would want to be in his place. The problem with the strength of the human spirit is that no matter how strong a person is in spirit, the pain of overcoming remains a companion to this strength.

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What is the difference between fortitude and willpower?

Strength of spirit and willpower are complementary concepts. If we analyze these two phenomena into their components, then about willpower we can say that this is overcoming constant inertia, following discipline and the intended path, without turning off, without giving yourself concessions, with a lack of self-pity. Strength of spirit is going beyond the ordinary understanding of oneself only as a body, strength of spirit does not allow one to drown in despair and heavy thoughts, it is the force that lifts a person above existence.

How to develop fortitude?

People with an inner core who have achieved success regardless of circumstances and hardships evoke respect and admiration. Many people want to be like such people, discarding all the difficulties they have faced, but they would not have become like this if they had not gone through all this. Others understand the cost of this and ask the question: how to increase the strength of spirit in yourself and cope with all life’s tasks? There is only one answer: start developing the strength of spirit in yourself consciously.

Developing fortitude - exercises. Training for fortitude is not some single one-sided repetition of certain rituals and exercises; in total, it is exercises and consciously placing oneself within the framework of difficult trials and circumstances, being true to oneself, no matter what happens around, nothing should relax and lead away from the goal of cultivating the spirit in oneself. Exercises play their role, they are necessary and important, they are part of conscious tests and building discipline, without which it is difficult to cultivate the spirit.

Exercises to develop fortitude:

1. Revision of beliefs.

Stereotyped thinking is the enemy of spiritual growth. Find time to write down all your limiting beliefs and say goodbye to them gradually.

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2.Positive intelligence.

Negative thoughts are ineffective and control a person, because fear negates all noble motives. It is important to practice affirmations for fortitude, for example: “I can handle this!” “My spirit is growing and strengthening every day, I am becoming a stronger person in spirit!”

3.Energy control.

It is important to learn to control your mental energy and not waste it; an excellent solution would be to start practicing qigong.

4.Physical strengthening of body and spirit.

Sports, hiking in the mountains, mountaineering strengthen a person's endurance.

Mantra of fortitude and energy

The development of spiritual strength occurs through self-testing, overcoming obstacles, and the spirit needs energy, which can be carried out by certain mantras. People who practice mantras have long been convinced of their effective power. The practice of mantras itself requires discipline and concentration, which already has a beneficial effect on the strength of the spirit. For powerful results, it is recommended to read any mantra at least 108 times a day for a month.

The mantra “Govinda Hare” has strong energetic vibrations, by practicing it a person improves spiritually, the mantra is easy to remember and very melodic: “Govinda Hare, om namah Shivaya . This is a direct praise of the gods Krishna and Shiva. Chanting their names increases the strength of the spirit to the skies, as the Indians believe, for whom the names of the creators Krishna and Shiva are sacred.

Mantra of spiritual growth increases vital energy (video)

Prayer to strengthen fortitude and willpower

The best prayer is the one that comes from the heart. Sometimes a person lacks support from the outside, which means the time has come to turn to the Divine and a prayer for strength of spirit addressed to the saints will do its job, you just need to believe in it. What prayers and appeals to saints can you read to strengthen your spiritual strength:

prayer to your guardian angel;
Our Father;
prayer of the Optina elders;
prayer of St. Dmitry of Rostov from despair;
prayer to the Blessed Virgin Mary.

Source

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What is fortitude? What happens and how to develop it in yourself

Raising the strength of spirit and character of a woman

The men were dealt with. What is the image of a “real woman” in society? She always looks great and maintains eternal youth, skillfully combines work and personal life (motherhood, everyday life, family), forgives and tolerates everything, always smiles and is in a good mood, takes care of everyone.

How a woman can become stronger in spirit and character:

Give yourself permission to be out of shape. All people get tired, get sick, find themselves in difficult situations. Realize your true inner worth and beauty - develop just that. When you begin to love yourself and become beautiful and harmonious on the inside, you will begin to glow on the outside.
Learn to take care of yourself first. Find your sources of strength and replenishment of wasted resources. Then you will have every chance to be almost always in great shape and in a great mood. Why almost? Read point one.
Become self-sufficient. Get rid of psychological, physical, financial dependence on someone (man, parents). Nothing increases self-confidence more than independence on all fronts.
Don't be patient. Nothing, never, in any relationship. First of all, you are a person who has your own desires, emotions and needs. And secondly, you are a sweet, gentle, understanding woman.
Move away from stereotypes. Everyone has their own happiness and meaning in life. If you don't want to have children, then don't do it. Find yourself in something else, for example, in creativity.

“Don’t hide my wrinkles: they cost me too much,” actress Anna Magnani.

How to become mentally strong - recommendations from a psychologist

A strong-willed person (it doesn’t matter if it’s a man or a woman) has the following characteristics:

solves his problems independently, but is not afraid to ask for help and knows how to do it;
knows how to make decisions and bear responsibility for their consequences;
knows how to admit mistakes and learn from them;
sees failures as opportunities for growth;
thinks positively, that is, he is confident that he will cope with any difficulties, will always find the optimal way out of an unpleasant situation, and will benefit from his development;
engages in introspection, but does not go into self-flagellation and soul-searching;
lives in the present with an eye on experience and planning for the future;
knows how to be happy for others and help others;
knows how to learn from other people;
be honest with yourself and others;
friendly and open to the world;
sets goals and sees meaning in his life;
takes care of his mental, physical and mental health (gets rid of problems in a timely manner and engages in their prevention, lives by the principle “a healthy mind in a healthy body);
has his own opinion on any issue and is not afraid to express it;
respects other people's opinions, freedom, interests, right to choice;
is able to protect himself psychologically (say “no”, set personal boundaries, adequately respond to rudeness) and, if necessary, then physically;
can change his mind if another person convincingly proves his position;
fights his fears and does not allow emotions to prevail over reason;
knows how to change circumstances and adapt to what cannot be changed;
able to resist temptation and temptation;
knows how to relieve tension and release emotions in healthy ways;
sees himself as the master of his own life, but understands that not everything and not always in this world depends on him;
regularly expands his comfort zone, even if he is afraid of novelty, uncertainty, change;
does not try to please and please everyone;
knows his strengths and weaknesses, advantages and disadvantages;
knows what he wants from life;
always listens to his emotions, desires, needs;
consciously chooses his surroundings, and generally adheres to the principle of awareness in life.

How to become a person who is strong in spirit and character? Develop these qualities. Generally speaking, we are talking about the following:

self-acceptance;
self-confidence;
healthy self-esteem;
positive thinking;
healthy lifestyle;
goal setting;
self-analysis;
self-development;
self-realization;
self-actualization;
searching for vocation and meaning in life;
getting rid of the ghosts of the past;
searching for a balance between public and individual.

You will automatically begin your path to strength when you answer the question “What am I living for?” And when you understand that the meaning of each person’s life is unique, like the path itself, but there is also a common meaning for everyone: to live according to your nature and personal potential.

Note! A person who is strong in spirit allows himself to be afraid, to be in a bad mood, to get tired or despair, to make mistakes, to fall, to feel sorry for himself and to do everything that is usually attributed to a weak character. But the difference between a strong person is that he does not dwell on the negative and does not get stuck in an unpleasant state. He pulls himself together and looks for a way out.

My experience

I think nothing builds character more than fighting your own fears and psychological problems. Children's grievances against parents and classmates, dependence on other people's opinions, non-acceptance of oneself and low self-esteem, fear of criticism and failure, victim thinking, aggression, isolation, embitterment, problems with understanding and expressing one's emotions (ironically, the shutdown of this area occurred just under the motto “Be strong, be patient”) is a small part of what I had to fight with.

I can no longer remember what happened at the very beginning, and where the character building and development of fortitude began. But I remember for sure that it was not easy, slow, sometimes painful, and within the framework of the framework that we have already considered. And why was that? It continues. I think this path is endless. Every person has a dark side, and there is a lot of stress and negativity in the world, so you can’t stop - you need to maintain a given level and gradually raise it.

Is it difficult to be a person with a strong spirit? Only at the beginning of the journey, when you break and rebuild the foundations of your personality.

Pain

Strength is generated only through pain . In the gym, in life – it doesn’t matter. It’s as if you are fighting with yourself, forcing yourself to do something or resist. This is a standard growth indicator that all athletes strive for. They understand that pain is a sieve through which the weak are eliminated and the strong rise.

Pain appears due to the fault of the brain. It is difficult for him to break an ingrained habit and choose the difficult path instead of the easy one. This causes dissonance, a state of reluctance and apathy.

accept this state like a champion and learn to use it for development. Below we will look at 3 ways to cause and overcome pain in yourself.

1 Act without sparing yourself

When you feel sorry for yourself, you reinforce the habit of giving up. Your body acquires power, you indulge its desires. The next time you have a choice - to do or not to do - you will be guided by past behavior. This means that your piggy bank will gradually be replenished with negative experiences and excuses. The feeling of guilt will dull accordingly, you will allow yourself to be a rag and will not give your best.

“Okay, I’m not ready yet...”
“Oh, weakling, it didn’t work out again. Okay, this is all because of......"
“It’s okay, it’ll work out next time”

Don't feel sorry for yourself, fight habits. Love the process of overcoming. The more often you act in accordance with your inner voice (conscience, soul), the more you develop fortitude. Remember that you are only as happy with yourself as you can control your life.

2 Run into problems

Instead of a shameful and negative experience, it is better to put your victories . You can overcome habits and develop as much as possible, or you can artificially create discomfort. This way you will quickly start moving and develop arguments to increase your self-esteem.

If you have accumulated anger and no longer have the strength to tolerate your weaknesses, this is the ideal way to release energy. Place yourself in extreme conditions, start doing at least something. As soon as you move, strength will come, and the desire to live and develop will return.

You can try for example:

Start with the little things. Watch your posture, stop “carrying pieces,” and clean up your speech.
Continue with average. Read 4 books in a month (1 per week), go to the gym for six months, meet ten people.
Extreme. Sit on a fast, get up at 6 am, run 3 km every evening, open your own business.

After such feats, you will be able to focus on your victories . They will give you the confidence to further develop your fortitude.

3 Start over with a clean slate

Sometimes you just don't have the courage to take a decisive step. You seem to understand the destructiveness of the problem, but any endeavors quickly end. Little energy, little torque to get moving.

In such cases, you need to make a small revolution with yourself. Ruthlessly break down everything old and start building something new in its place. In this way, you will instantly burst into real life and feel the pleasant pain of change.

If you do it conscientiously, it will be painful and difficult. But there are a number of advantages:

Massiveness of changes
Instant release of energy and anger towards yourself
Feeling full of life
Increasing confidence in your abilities
Feeding changes from each other (for example, running in the morning - getting up at 6:00)

Don't wait for the moment , live here and now, as the Pepsi advertisement says. Your life is not a rehearsal for something important, so don’t be afraid to change and release your reserves of strength. It is at such moments that strength of spirit and strength of character are trained.