Family life is not nearly as ideal as it is shown in films. If you don’t work on relationships, then over time misunderstandings, nit-picking and resentments arise between spouses, which grow like a snowball.
Often a woman who completely devotes herself to caring for her household and everyday life ceases to be valued by her husband. He takes her work for granted and doesn’t even thank her for her efforts. The wife, seeing changes in the relationship, begins to do even more for the children and husband, but in response she receives only dissatisfaction, neglect and complete disrespect on his part.
This situation cannot be left like this, otherwise the accumulated grievances can destroy not only the marriage, but also the woman’s health and her energy.
How to make a husband respect his wife and be afraid of losing her?
If a man’s respect for a woman has disappeared, then this is not a reason for quarrels and accusations of the spouse. First of all, you need to analyze the situation and start working on yourself.
Our loved ones are our mirrors, showing how we subconsciously treat ourselves. And if a loved one doesn’t appreciate it, it means that we also devalue our merits deep down in our souls, but we don’t admit it. What to do?
- Work on yourself
- Appearance
Look in the mirror and give an objective assessment of your figure, skin and hair condition. Do you still look the same as you did when you were dating your future spouse? If not, then start getting yourself in order. Just do it not for the sake of someone, but because you want it.
If you need to tighten your body, buy a subscription to a fitness center, swimming pool, or create a training plan and exercise at home.
If you are far from sports, we recommend joining a gym. There you will have a personal trainer who will not only select suitable exercises, but also create the necessary motivation. If you exercise at home, you have a high chance of quitting after a week.
Don’t forget to visit beauty salons and do spa treatments. With their help, you will put your skin in order, and you will again begin to feel like a beautiful and attractive girl.
Pay attention to your loungewear. Is she attractive, sexy, or is she all about stretched out T-shirts, sweatpants and faded robes? Get rid of your old ones and buy new sets that will be comfortable, but at the same time emphasize your femininity.
- Self love
Before asking yourself the question of how to make a husband respect and appreciate his wife, think: do you love yourself, value yourself? If you understand that this is not the case, then you need to start moving in this direction. Now there are many books and different courses that will help in this matter.
- Increase your self-esteem
Adequate self-esteem is important for any person, but especially for the fair sex. And it depends on how much you love and accept your body, appearance, and internal qualities. You need to learn to value yourself as a person and as a woman. And this means not to infringe on your desires for the sake of others, not to put them in last place, and to take into account your own interests. If you can't cope with this on your own, contact a psychologist.
- Broad horizons
Many ladies, when getting married, forget about their hobbies and hobbies, and there is no question of expanding their horizons by learning something new. And after this they still wonder how to make a husband respect his wife and be afraid of losing her?
If you want your spouse to begin to appreciate you again and look at you with admiring eyes, educate yourself. Take time to learn something new, read books, communicate with interesting people. Go to theaters, exhibitions, go on excursions. By the way, this can be done together with a partner, thereby introducing novelty into the relationship and strengthening it.
- Change your own environment
Choose a time when there will be no distractions, and evaluate how your friends, girlfriends, acquaintances and colleagues treat you.
If people whom you consider friends constantly take advantage of you, do not respect your opinion and call only when they need something, think: why do you need such friendship?
By allowing others to disrespect you and use you only for selfish purposes, you lower your self-esteem and form the belief that you are unworthy of love and respect unless you are convenient for someone. And how can you force your husband to respect yourself if he sees that you allow others to treat you that way?
Of course, this does not mean that you need to break all ties overnight. Just learn to set your boundaries and assert them when necessary. Well, if a person does not change his attitude and still tries to use you, then move away from him and stop communicating.
- Find something you like or get a job
Many coaches on femininity teach that a girl should stay at home, take care of everyday life, her beauty and her children. In fact, this lifestyle is not suitable for all representatives of the fair sex, and it often has a negative impact on relationships.
Women who do not have a favorite activity or work that would bring them joy, satisfaction, development and income, begin to slowly degrade. They literally put themselves in a cage, mired in an uninteresting and boring life.
Perhaps at first your spouse will be satisfied with this state of affairs, but then he will become bored with you and will run out of other topics to talk about besides children and everyday life. And over time, respect in the relationship between a man and a woman will disappear. Therefore, even for the sake of good relationships, it is recommended to find something you like.
But there is another category of women who seem to work, but they do not like this activity at all. Work turns into hard labor and not only does not bring pleasure and joy, but also takes away strength and energy. The wife comes home dissatisfied, exhausted, she has no strength for her husband or children. In such a family, quarrels and dissatisfaction with each other are commonplace.
Therefore, if you don’t know how to make yourself respected in your family, start looking for a job or change your activity. Remember, peace and harmony in the house begins with the hostess, and if she is dissatisfied, irritated, and lacking energy, then there is no need to talk about any harmonization.
- Seek help from a psychologist
If you feel that you cannot cope with the situation yourself, but want to save your marriage and improve your relationship, sign up for a consultation with a psychologist. First, you can ask how to make a man respect himself as a woman, and then look at other problems.
Family counseling will help achieve greater results. But this requires that the partner also recognize the problem and strive to eliminate it.
What a husband should not do towards his wife. What should a husband never do?
A husband should not say that his wife is an unworthy woman, ugly, that there are better, more beautiful women. Let's say they're watching a movie. The husband should not say: “Look, what a pretty actress.” These words are enough to hurt a wife. He should not praise other women in her presence, and even behind her back, because on a subtle level a blow will still occur. He simply shouldn't think that there is anyone better than his wife.
Thus, if such thoughts come into his head, then he should be guided by the following principle: “since I consciously, with complete confidence and conviction, chose this person as my wife, and now I consciously believe that there is someone better, then , I'm an idiot. She has nothing to do with it.” And it will be absolutely logical. And who agrees to consider himself an idiot? This is not serious.
In fact, a person chose his life partner, sincerely believing that she is the best, right? Otherwise, what's the point of getting together then? Since you thought that she was the best, then why change your mind later? If you constantly change your mind, then what is your rationality?
A woman should do the same. She shouldn't tell her children that daddy is wrong. She will not only lose her dad, but her children too. Only if a woman tells her children that daddy is wrong, listen to me - this means that they will not listen to anyone. If a father tells his children: “Our Mom is not as Good as Other Moms, There are Better Moms,” then the children may obey their parents, but will never love them, neither dad nor mom.
That is, the principle of love comes from a woman, and the principle of obedience comes from a man.
Attention! Only if a man ignores the principle of love that comes from a woman will the children be as dry as wood. They will not love their parents, although they may obey them
If a wife ignores her husband’s principle of authoritarianism, the children will be disobedient. You cannot change this principle.
The next principle of family relationships. It must be borne in mind that when sexual intercourse, sexual contact occurred, the strongest connection was established between a man and a woman. A woman, having the same relationship with another person, becomes his wife on the subtle plane. This means that she will take from him part of the pious and sinful deeds that he commits, that is, she will suffer for what he does.
Likewise, a man who had a relationship with another woman. Moreover, in a family the closest relationships are closeness. Relationships of intimacy are possible only when neither the man nor the woman had a relationship with anyone else after the wedding. Only if this intimacy is broken at least once will the intimacy be reduced by half, then it will be fragmented even more. Only if a man has two women, then he has exactly half as much intimacy with his wife. Oleg Torsunov.
Mistaken Tactics of Women
In the desire to become valuable and significant for their spouse, ladies resort to manipulations that may work at first, but then will lead to even greater discord or even divorce.
Representatives of the stronger sex are far from being as stupid as girls think, and they subtly sense when their feelings are being played with and manipulated. Therefore, if you do not want to lead your marriage to collapse, avoid the techniques described below.
- Attempts to induce jealousy
Wanting to teach their loved one to treat themselves the way they want, women often begin to flirt with other men. They come home with bouquets of flowers, smiling mysteriously, or stay late at work.
It is important to understand that this can achieve the opposite effect. Manipulation and jealousy will not add value to you in the eyes of your partner; on the contrary, he will stop trusting you, and unnecessary suspicions will begin. And someone may even change in response.
- Blackmail
You will not achieve anything good if you blackmail your husband with a divorce or by going to live with your parents. After several threats, your loved one will no longer take your words seriously, and you as a person will lose significance for him.
Think about it, is it possible to love a person who threatens and blackmails even more? Of course not. On the contrary, it will lead to more serious problems in the marriage.
- Ignoring my husband
Ignoring is a harsh method of emotional manipulation that is harmful to both the victim and the manipulator. In this way, you will only get aggression in response or completely break your partner as a person.
If you stop paying attention to your husband sexually, constantly denying him intimacy and hoping to “punish” him in this way, then be prepared for the fact that after a while he will have a mistress.
- Scandals and hysterics
Many ladies who are not versed in psychology and do not know how to properly teach a husband to respect and appreciate his wife begin to create scandals and hysterics. But this technique not only does not work, but also leads to indifference on the part of the spouse, and then to aggression.
Maybe after the first hysteria, your loved one will change his behavior, but not for long. And if scandals and tears with reproaches are repeated again and again, he will begin to treat you as a frivolous person who is constantly annoying and “blows your mind.”
A woman's contribution to her husband's loss of respect for her
The reasons why a husband stopped treating a woman with tenderness are varied. Conventionally, they can be divided into
Ungroomed wife
Everyone knows that women love with their ears. But often the weaker sex forgets that men also need to nourish their love feelings, and the appearance of the other half plays an important role in this. Before the wedding, girls carefully look after themselves, trying not to lose their boyfriend, and after marriage a metamorphosis occurs.
Of course, in family life a couple faces many worries - small children, work, financial difficulties. But even if you don’t have the opportunity or desire to visit expensive salons, you can always find time to wash and style your hair and put on clean, neat clothes. After a difficult day at work, a man still deserves to see not an aunt in a dirty robe, but a beloved woman who cares about her appearance.
Communication style
This point is similar to the previous one, only we will talk not about external, but about internal filling. If for a long time a man has heard nothing but discontent and “sawing” at home, over time his wife’s speech will cause him nothing but irritation.
No matter how much he loves his wife, he will not be able to resist negative feelings. As in the famous proverb: “A drop wears away a stone.” He will either remain silent or answer questions sharply.
But in your desire to please with words, you shouldn’t go too far. Of course, you should always try to smile when you meet and greet your husband affectionately
But in case of fatigue or illness, it is important to be able to show your condition and express your desires
If you couldn’t restrain yourself, for example, because of problems at work, words of apology will come in very handy.
Problems in intimate life
For men, sex is a very important part of life. Quite often, women, knowing this, try to manipulate their husbands through intimacy. They either have a “headache” or simply have no desire.
We must remember that this behavior is akin to walking on the edge of an abyss.
Of course, it is important to defend your point of view and not forget about your desires, but not with the help of the weak points of a loved one
Hostility on the part of the husband can also arise if the wife does not want to lead a rich intimate life. Sex as a scheduled duty quickly kills any desire for this particular person, which in the future can lead to a search for pleasure on the side.
Lack of self-development
Even if a woman is in order with all of the above points, the risk of losing respect from her husband remains. It is associated with what is called self-development, or rather with its absence.
Women who, due to circumstances or by choice, stay at home are more susceptible to this condition. They may get carried away by monotonous TV series, stupid talk shows and similar activities, which is why they lose topics of conversation.
But in many ways this development of events is determined by the internal state. A working woman will justify her reluctance to learn new things by being tired, and her interests may very soon narrow. If she has abandoned common hobbies with her husband and has not found new ones, he may lose interest in his wife.
What to do if nothing helps?
If you have accepted part of the responsibility for harmonizing family life and have done everything that depends on you, but there are no changes on the part of your loved one, try to adequately assess the situation.
First, look at what is happening in the family of the faithful, especially pay attention to how his father treats his mother. If the mistress of the house is not treated at all, taking her for a maid who cleans, cooks and washes, then their son will behave the same way with you, taking this behavior as a model. Such a person can be corrected only if he is sufficiently conscious and understands that he is doing wrong.
Hidden psychological problems can also contribute to this behavior. This is usually expressed in aggression and tyranny. You cannot change such a person by any means, and living with him under the same roof is dangerous for both the woman and the children.
If your partner often drinks, gambles or uses drugs, this also means that you will not be able to improve the situation and it is better to seriously think about divorce.
What a husband should be to his wife. 1 How to become an ideal wife
Psychologists believe that ideal appearance is not enough to build strong, good relationships. In order for the union to be strong and indestructible, it is necessary to reconsider your character and make sure that family life does not collapse under the weight of minor problems.
The psychology of relationships is something that a girl who wants to be the best for her man should understand. An ideal wife should exhibit such qualities as understanding, tolerance, kindness, attentiveness, tact and compassion. Women prone to causeless anger, capriciousness, touchiness, selfishness and arrogance are unlikely to achieve strong relationships.
Rules of conduct for an ideal wife:
- Understanding is something that men often lack. A good wife should support her companion, give him compliments, and ask about his affairs. The pursuit of common goals and spending time together also contribute to the longevity of the union.
- Men like women's initiative. The girl should be mysterious and unpredictable, then her husband will be interested in her personality.
- Many couples lack trust, and this is what can destroy the spouses' relationship. You need to trust a man; home should be a place where he feels comfortable and calm.
- A woman must be independent, because she cannot give herself completely to a man. Your own goals and interests will help you avoid becoming a shadow of your spouse and remain an individual.
- Well-groomed girls are pleasing to the eye and make a man proud of themselves, so don’t forget about your appearance.
- It is important for a husband to have confidence that his wife will always listen and help with advice, which strengthens the relationship. You should try to listen carefully to your man, show interest in his problems and solve them together. Do not forget about selflessness, tenderness and care.
- An intelligent woman should realize that her husband is not ideal, that his character has both pros and cons, so sometimes it is worth forgiving something or making concessions to save the marriage.
- When a child is born, a wife should not forget about her husband and spend her free time not only with the baby.
