What to do if a wife stops loving her husband and wants to divorce: advice from a psychologist and effective recommendations

Why the wife stopped loving her husband: reasons for the fading of feelings

If a man wants to save the relationship and avoid divorce, first of all he needs to understand why the wife stopped loving her husband. The reasons for the fading of feelings can be very different. Most often, a woman loses interest in her husband because:

She was tired of monotony and routine. This is especially evident when a woman is on maternity leave. Not being able to freely leave the house and do the things she loves, she becomes depressed. The situation gets worse if the husband is in no hurry to help with the child, does nothing around the house and often spends time outside the home. Chronic fatigue and the eternal “Groundhog Day” lead to the fact that the husband begins to irritate, and feelings for him fade away;
The spouse's hidden shortcomings come to light. At the beginning of a relationship, a man and a woman see only the positive qualities of each other. Minor flaws are not given any importance, and sometimes they even make you smile. After some time, the husband’s negative qualities become more obvious and begin to irritate the woman. As a result, conflicts arise out of nowhere, and constant negativity from quarrels and scandals kills feelings for a loved one;
A woman is influenced from outside. If the wife’s relationship with her mother-in-law does not work out, or the mother-in-law hates her son-in-law and constantly tells her daughter how bad he is, the relationship between the spouses may deteriorate. Sometimes friends and girlfriends of lovers oppose the union, pitting them against each other. At first it seems that all this is nonsense, and love will cope with all obstacles. But over time, spouses begin to listen to the advice of third parties, especially during quarrels with their significant other;
She was tired of constant financial difficulties. Oddly enough, money, or rather the lack of it, has a detrimental effect on the relationship between spouses. The wife begins to express dissatisfaction with her husband’s low salary, considers him a loser and incapable of anything. She ceases to see her spouse as a support and feels protected;
Her husband pays little attention to her. Every woman wants to hear compliments, feel loved and desired. If all this is missing, the girl develops a feeling of loneliness and gradually loses interest in her husband;
Husband's bad habits and domestic violence. If a spouse abuses alcohol, suffers from drug addiction, or raises his hand against his wife in a fit of anger, warm feelings and love can be forgotten forever;
Problems in bed. Different temperaments and sexual preferences, the inability to discuss their fantasies and desires result in the refusal of spouses to have sex with each other. This leads to the husband and wife moving away from each other, first physically and then spiritually.

There are other reasons for the fading of feelings for a spouse. In any case, each family has its own nuances and subtleties. The exact answer to the question of why a wife stopped loving her husband can only be given by the man himself, having analyzed his relationship with his wife recently and talked frankly with her.

“My wife stopped loving me”

Alexander, hello. Cooling on the part of your wife is most likely caused by the fact that your family is now going through a difficult period, which in psychology is called the “crisis of 12 years.” This is the time when spouses are faced with several problems at once:

The beginning of a midlife crisis, which occurs earlier in women than in men;
Problematic adolescence in children and conflicts with parents, which also causes misunderstandings in the family;
Getting used to your partner, clearly seeing all his shortcomings.

It is worth noting that women often experience crisis moments more painfully, withdrawing into themselves and moving away from their spouse. But this does not mean that your wife has stopped loving you. She needs your love, care and attention now more than ever. To improve your relationship, listen to the tips below:

Have an open conversation with your wife in a calm environment without accusations or reproaches. Perhaps she is offended by you or has some problems that she is afraid to tell you about, and this is the reason for her coldness and isolation.
Show concern for your spouse. Take an interest in her affairs, well-being, and mood.
Do something romantic for her: give her a huge bouquet of roses, have a candlelit dinner, dedicate a poem to her, or order a hand-drawn portrait of your wife.
Take over household chores that your wife usually does. It is quite possible that the spouse is tired of daily problems and everyday life, and she needs rest. If you help her regularly, she will have more time for herself and for you.
Also, you both need a distraction. Organize a trip to another country or to the sea. Traveling together tends to refresh and improve the relationship between spouses.
Spend more time together: visit the theater, cinema, concert of your favorite performer and the exhibition of your wife’s favorite artist.
Visit places where you were once happy more often. Perhaps, even at the beginning of the relationship, you loved to go to a special place for both of you on the river bank or in a park. Be sure to check it out again to bring back the feeling of happiness from your relationship.
Give your wife gifts. These don't have to be expensive gifts. Even a pleasant little thing can bring a smile to the face of the woman you love. But this is what you are trying to achieve, isn’t it?

Show care, love, tenderness and attention to harmonize your relationship with the woman you love. She now so needs your support and understanding.

How to understand that a wife has stopped loving her husband

There are women who openly say that love has passed and they are not satisfied with their current relationship. However, some, for one reason or another, do not want to ruin their family by continuing to live with an unloved person. Perhaps they are already thinking through an “escape plan” or are simply waiting for the right moment to leave.

How to understand that your wife has fallen out of love? The following signs usually indicate this:

Constant scandals and quarrels. Most often they happen without a good reason. The wife finds fault with little things. She is annoyed by almost every action of her husband. She constantly expresses her grievances and blames him for all sins;
Avoiding sex. Each time a woman finds more and more reasons to refuse sex with her husband. Either she has a headache, or she is too tired, or she is not in the mood. As a result, sex becomes very rare or disappears from the relationship altogether;

Reluctance to do something for my husband. The woman stops caring for her husband. Cooking a delicious dinner or ironing a shirt - now she just doesn’t want to do it;
Indifference. The wife no longer asks any questions. She doesn’t care at all how her husband is doing at work or why he came later than usual today. All conversations come down to solving everyday issues;
The desire to spend leisure time separately. If previously a wife enjoyed going to the cinema or a cafe with her husband, now she is better off having fun in the company of her friends. She increasingly leaves home alone, and refuses her husband’s proposals to go somewhere together;
Lack of desire to look attractive. It becomes absolutely unimportant for a woman what she looks like at home. She dresses up only when she goes out somewhere without her husband;
Flirting with other men. The woman begins to flirt and communicate with other men. Her mood noticeably improves if someone in the company pays attention to her or gives her a compliment.

It is possible to say with confidence that the spouse’s feelings have cooled only if several of the signs listed above are present at once. After all, for example, simply refusing sex can indicate health problems or chronic fatigue, and does not at all mean that the wife has stopped loving her husband.

How to understand that feelings have faded?

Many women cannot fully understand their feelings for their spouse. On the one hand, it is quite normal that over the years lived together, feelings for a man from violent passion and exciting love develop into something more measured: into respect, support, into deep resonance with each other.

Some women, yearning for thrills, may mistake this state for the fading of feelings. This is wrong. A strong connection and mutual trust in each other is a logical extension of romantic thrill. You should strive for such relationships and value them very much, because your life partner is a person you can truly rely on in any situation. Such a person may be the only one in your life, because it takes more than one year to build such harmony. You just need to rekindle the fire of past love by diversifying your joint leisure time.

It's another matter when everything about a man begins to irritate him. His way of dressing, his habits, facial expressions, smell - everything causes deep disgust. Intimacy with her husband is accompanied by a feeling of disgust, and the woman tends to avoid it. Often women in such a situation generally prefer to spend the night alone or with the child. This is really a reason to think about whether a wife needs such a relationship with her husband.

How can a man understand that his wife’s attitude towards him has changed? The psychologist's advice notes several signs of female behavior that scream "I've fallen out of love with my husband." Here is their list:

the wife avoids intimacy under various pretexts;
the wife is interested in the lives of other men, their successes and hobbies. New men appeared among her acquaintances;
instead of spending time with her husband, the wife prefers the company of friends or loneliness;
The wife does not share her plans with her husband. Her dreams no longer include her husband; she prefers to make decisions on her own;
a woman makes large purchases without discussing it with her husband.

There are a number of other signs that do not necessarily indicate that the wife has lost interest in her husband, but in combination with the signs from the first list confirm this guess:

the woman stopped taking care of herself at home. She doesn’t care what her home clothes look like, she doesn’t preen herself and doesn’t strive to look beautiful for her husband;
attacks of jealousy towards her husband become frequent, even to the point of hysterics;
the wife ignores the presence of her husband at home. She goes about her business, but does not seek to enter into dialogue with her husband and does not react to his presence;
the woman began to behave selfishly and rudely. She does not choose expressions when talking with her husband and can deliberately provoke conflicts in order to hurt his feelings;
household duties are performed without enthusiasm. The spouse may continue to prepare food, but does so without enthusiasm;
To make important decisions, the wife does not involve her husband in discussions. She either decides everything silently and independently, or asks for advice from her parents or friends.

If several items from the list coincide with the state of things in the family, you should think about difficulties in the relationship.

What to do if your wife has fallen out of love: advice from a psychologist and effective recommendations

If the spouse openly says that her feelings have faded away, or there are all signs of this on her face, the question arises of what to do if the wife has fallen out of love. Here it is important to decide whether it makes sense to fight to preserve the relationship. Living with a person who has fallen out of love is worth it only if you have a firm intention to revive his faded feelings. Otherwise, such an alliance is doomed to failure.

So what to do if your wife has fallen out of love? The psychologist’s advice and recommendations in this regard are as follows:

Find out what a woman doesn't like about you. To do this, you need to talk frankly without quarrels and scandals. Even if you don’t like what you hear, try to calmly perceive the information and listen to your spouse’s position;
Do not put pressure on your wife or beg her to save the marriage. It is important to tell your spouse that the relationship is very important to you and you do not want a divorce, but the choice is still hers. For a while it is necessary to let her go, to do the so-called reboot of the relationship;
Change and start improving yourself. To reawaken your wife's interest, you need to remember what attracted her to you at the beginning of the relationship. It is likely that you have changed a lot now and are completely different from you a few years ago. Try to awaken in yourself those qualities that your wife once liked so much. Also, start improving yourself. Sign up for a gym or swimming pool, learn a new profession or start doing something you've always dreamed of;
Try to eliminate the reason that led to the fading of feelings. Here the actions depend on each specific situation. For example, if a man earned little, and most of the conflicts arose due to lack of money, try to look for a higher paying job. It may be worth taking advanced training courses or radically changing your field of activity. It is important that the cause be eliminated permanently, and not for some time. Otherwise, your spouse will become even more convinced that you are not the person she needs;
Bring romance back into your relationship. Treat your wife to a romantic dinner or take her on a date to the place where you had your first kiss. Give flowers for no reason, shower the woman with compliments, show that she is still interesting and desirable to you.

Getting your feelings back if your wife has fallen out of love and wants a divorce is not so easy. This process can take quite a long time. The woman must believe that you have really changed and are ready to start the relationship from scratch.

For a number of reasons, it sometimes happens that a woman’s feelings for her own husband fade away. You can notice this without waiting for the moment when the wife declares her desire to get a divorce. The sooner a man recognizes the signs that his wife has fallen out of love, the greater his chances of saving the marriage. Before thinking about what to do if a wife has stopped loving her husband and wants to divorce, it is important to understand whether the relationship is really worth fighting for, or whether divorce would be the most reasonable way out of this situation.

Author: Olga Vasilyeva. Photo: Instagram, Infastar, YouTube. If you are the author of one of the photos and do not agree with its publication, contact the administration and we will correct the error.