Psychology of love: how does a man behave when he’s in love?

Features of the psychology of a man in love

When a man falls in love, the hormonal composition changes. More serotonin and oxytocin are produced - hormones of joy and stress resistance. Falling in love feels like being slightly intoxicated. The guy is in high spirits, experiencing excitement, a desire to constantly be close to the object of his love, even hiding his feelings.

Love takes time to develop; falling in love arises spontaneously. A fleeting glance is enough to become interested in a girl. Appearance attracts primary attention. Scientists believe that the ideal image of a partner is genetically determined. Through generations, the idea of ​​the optimal set of external traits that a guy subconsciously looks for in those around him is passed on. When a man meets a woman with suitable facial features, a selection mechanism is triggered.

To consolidate love, a small contact is enough: a casual touch, approach, exchange of phrases. Approaching a girl within 1 m, a man can smell her body. A suitable smell, attractive, exciting, is a mandatory criterion for falling in love. Unpleasant body odor is annoying and the girl becomes unattractive. This occurs due to the similarity of the genetic makeup: people with similar sets of genes have a high chance of having children with genetic disorders. Therefore, nature provides a rejection mechanism.

Feelings of a man in love

Showing feelings is uncharacteristic for men. According to social norms, they hide affection and interest, fearing to appear weak. Having the ability to experience a range of emotions, they demonstrate them in exceptional cases, often remaining misunderstood by women.

The main feeling of a lover is the thirst for possession of his beloved. The guy wants physical intimacy, emotional attachment, maximum fusion. Uncertainty and the presence of rivals cause dissatisfaction, anger, fear of rejection and misunderstanding. The behavior of a lover who cannot be near the object of his love depends on his age: an experienced adult man controls his feelings, while control is much more difficult for a young guy.

Signs of falling in love

The manifestation of love can always be identified by a group of signs: behavioral, non-verbal, verbal.

Behavioral signs immediately reveal a lover. Being next to the woman he loves, the guy treats her with increased attention. Tries to predict desires in order to be nearby and provide a service. The main desire of a lover is to impress a woman, attract her attention, and stand out from the company of other contenders.

Non-verbal signs of guys in love include gestures. Being next to his beloved, he tries to touch her, to come closer. When communicating with a girl, he actively uses body language:

• turns his body towards the girl, sitting next to him;
• catches a girl's eye when she is not looking at him;
• When talking, he smiles slightly.

Verbal signs include sudden speech hesitations, speaking too quickly, and changes in voice timbre. This happens due to excitement: a man strives to please, interest a woman, cannot control his speech, sounds comical. If a representative of the stronger sex controls himself, he consciously regulates the timbre, making it soft and deep. A woman subconsciously considers such a voice more pleasant.

Always in a hurry to help8

No matter what happens, he is always ready to help. He will drop all his affairs and the second you need help, he will rush in and solve everything. He won’t tell you any excuses why he can’t right now, he won’t refuse. He'll just pick it up and come. It is likely that he himself will begin to offer some kind of help, even if you have ways to cope.

We advise you to agree, even if it is simple help like carrying packages from the store, despite the fact that you bought nothing at all. Men are not used to straining themselves, much less for the sake of another person. Therefore, if they agree to such feats for your sake, then this indicates great feelings for your person.

If a man is in no hurry to offer you his help, then you should pay attention to additional signs - is the man next to you a narcissistic egoist? Read our article carefully.

How to determine a man's sexual interest?

For a healthy man, sexual intimacy with a woman is a normal consequence of mutual interest. To understand what kind of interest drives a man, a woman needs to pay attention to his behavior. Being next to his beloved, a man:

1. Evaluates the figure. A man tries to imagine a woman’s figure without clothes, so he carefully examines her, lingering on her chest and hips. He tries to do this unnoticed, but gestures show interest: smoothing his hair, touching his nose, neck, lightly touching the inside of his thigh. This is how a man subconsciously invites a woman to evaluate him in return, so as not to be intrusive.
2. Jealous of others. The attention of rivals irritates the lover. The guy strives to get rid of competition, demonstrating superiority in every possible way. Guys who choose one girl can enter into open confrontation, leading to insults, threats, and physical attacks.
3. Uses ambiguous hints. When communicating with a woman of interest, a man uses various reasons to hint at his sexual interest. He may mention his sexual experience, be interested in the girl’s opinion regarding various intimate practices, joke, and provoke.
4. Checks the woman's reaction. Discusses other women with her, assessing their appearance, observing how she reacts to it. In this way, the guy is trying to arouse jealousy, interest, show that he appreciates female beauty, and is ready to enter into intimacy.
5. Gives suggestive gifts. Noticing a woman's reciprocal interest, a guy can give a gift that a girl can use before or during intimacy: lingerie, perfume with pheromones, scented candles, massage oil.

Often men directly offer intimate relationships to the woman they like. It saves a lot of time, but can scare off a modest woman with excessive assertiveness.

Stages of male falling in love

As mentioned earlier, a man’s desire to live with this particular woman for many years arises gradually and goes through several stages. Psychologists identify seven:

1. Appearance assessment.
2. Interest that generates continued to get to know your chosen one better.
3. Mutual attraction is one of the most important points. At this stage, it is very important for a woman to give the right reaction, to show interest in return, so that the man will be interested in developing the relationship further.
4. The desire to show your best qualities in order to win the heart of a lady.
5. Confirmation of the correct choice of an ally. Now she often “sits” in his thoughts.
6. Making plans for the future, weighing all the advantages and disadvantages of the relationship.
7. Interest in your girlfriend's reciprocal feelings.

Having gone through all the steps from interest to serious feelings, the man now realizes that he is in love with his partner.

How should a woman behave?

Men are afraid of rejection. Therefore, they often hide their feelings, waiting for an inviting signal from a woman. The woman feels interested, but does not see obvious signs of falling in love. Doubts, shyness, and anticipation of the guy’s initiative constrain her. Simple signs of attention will help, helping to show your own interest in order to attract a lover.

Five effective ways to encourage expression of feelings:

1. Ask for a favor. A small favor gives you another reason to feel special, important, and necessary. The guy will be able to realize the qualities of a defender and assistant.
2. Give a small gift. This should not be a formal gift that can be given to any friend or colleague. You need to try to choose something special. Not necessarily expensive, but showing good attitude and knowledge of tastes.
3. Praise, encourage. Men enjoy compliments even more than women. When they receive compliments, they feel inspired and inspired. And praise from the woman he loves gives a man determination.
4. During a conversation, reduce the distance. The intimate zone, into which only close people are allowed, is considered to be a distance of 50–30 cm. By approaching closer, a woman automatically enters the circle of close people, allowing the guy to make a reciprocal gesture.
5. “Accidentally” touching. You can choose an innocent reason for touching: brush away a speck of dust, straighten your tie, pass something by touching your hand. This gives the man the right to touch him back and start a conversation.

It is believed that men do not like proactive women, but this is not true. A guy in love, but doubting himself, will be grateful to his beloved for taking the first step.

Falling in love and age features

Depending on age, the behavior of a man in love differs significantly:

1. Teenager (up to 20 years old). In adolescence, falling in love occurs much more often. Young boys do not attach much importance to emotional attachment because they lack knowledge and experience. They take the initiative and, in case of refusal, behave differently: either they switch immediately, or they become fixated on the object of their love and abandon the relationship for a long time. Teenage crushes rarely turn into serious relationships.
2. Guy (20–30 years old). A matured young man learns to evaluate and take into account the girl’s behavior. Most guys at this age are not yet ready for a serious relationship; falling in love quickly passes as soon as the girl reciprocates or disappears from sight. Therefore, it is too early to talk about constancy, seriousness of intentions and behavior.
3. Adult (30–45 years old). For an adult man, the main goal is to create a family, so he tries to develop a relationship with the woman he likes as quickly as possible. She prefers conservative methods of courtship: she invites her on dates, gives small gifts, and expects the girl to be focused on a serious relationship.
4. Mature man (45 years or older). At this age, a man knows exactly how to present himself to attract a woman’s attention. He acts confident, but may lack the ability to gauge reactions. Having become accustomed to one pattern of behavior, he may mistakenly interpret the answer and react to a false signal. If a woman reciprocates, a mature man’s love quickly moves into a more stable phase of the relationship.

Growing up and experience in relationships helps a man build the right line of behavior with the woman he likes.

Formula for male love

The behavior of men in matters of the heart is radically different from that of women, but, fortunately, it is easy to understand. The psychology of love among the stronger sex identifies five stages of development. The secret is that sometimes a man's love does not reach the final stage - the readiness to take his beloved down the aisle. Let's take a closer look at why this happens.

Stage 1: Liking

The first thing that attracts a man to a girl is her appearance. No matter how much women would like to be loved for their spiritual beauty, the fact remains. Female attractiveness plays a dominant role at the initial stage of love.

Guys have individual priorities in assessing a lady's charms: some are attracted to a pretty face, others appreciate their figure, others pay attention to their breasts. The list of fetishes for male love is endless: a cute mole, gorgeous hair, slender legs...

Women can be advised to find an original “zest” in themselves and try to create their own image, focusing attention on it. Often a man does not realize what exactly a girl likes, but if he finds her attractive, sympathy has already crept into his heart.

The pitfall of this stage of love is that a guy can like several girls at the same time. The so-called “reconnaissance in force” is carried out by men in an active search in all possible directions. If a woman refuses, he switches to another object without much regret. If reciprocal interest is felt, the next stage of relationship development begins.

Stage 2: Falling in Love

At this stage, the man tries to make attempts to get closer. The prelude is generous compliments, romantic SMS, pleasant communication.

Interest is fueled by sensual fantasies and illusions generated by the male consciousness. The main event of the stage of falling in love is the first date, where the man tries to demonstrate his best character traits. He makes small advances, wanting to make sure of a response: he gives flowers, takes him to a restaurant. But the signs of attention are still modest, this is not courtship yet.

If the acquaintance was virtual, on a date the man evaluates the physical merits of his chosen one in real life. Representatives of the fairer sex can fall in love with a guy who is not beautiful in appearance: for his intelligence, care, kindness, but it is difficult for a man to do this.

American psychologists conducted a demonstrative experiment. Beautiful girls and guys posted spectacular personal photos on dating sites, but they came on dates wearing special makeup and costumes that made their figures look much fuller. As a result:

• Almost all the guys immediately hinted to the suddenly plump girl that she didn’t match the photo presented and left.
• The women treated their plumper acquaintance much more gently: they spent the entire date and even allowed themselves to be hugged goodbye.

The example demonstrates the instability of the stage of falling in love. If a girl does not reciprocate or does not satisfy a man’s demands, he forgets about her literally the next day.

Stage 3: Hunter

When a man receives an encouraging response to his advances, love gives way to passionate physical attraction. Interest grows, and he decides to seek reciprocity. The means and methods of seduction used at this stage depend on the strength of desire and financial capabilities of the man. Not everyone is capable of giving a million red roses, but classic courtship is not complete without pleasant gifts.

A popular metaphor compares a man at the stage of conquering the woman he likes with a hunter. They usually say that a guy “runs” after a girl: he accompanies her home, makes dates, reads love poems, invites her to travel together. At this love stage, danger awaits inexperienced girls. The young lady takes verbal assurances of love for a true manifestation of feelings and finally falls in love with an ardent admirer.

For a man, this is not true love, but only flirting, which does not indicate serious intentions. The game of love can be quite cruel. For example, a man may make hints that he dreams of having a family and children in the future, but this does not mean that he has you specifically in mind. As the poet said, it is not difficult to deceive a person in love; he himself is happy to be deceived.

How long a man will “hunt” depends on the woman’s inaccessibility or her desire to appear inaccessible. If she hasn’t given up yet, then this happens, as a rule, at the stage of persecution. Having caught his prey in a love net, a man experiences not only physical, but also moral satisfaction from the victory.

Experienced seductresses of men's hearts begin a return game at the hunter's stage, trying to prolong the pleasant period of courtship. They do not repel, but do not bring the man closer, balancing on the edge. However, psychologists warn women against delaying the natural development of male love. There is a high probability that a man will get tired of chasing an unattainable object of desire. He may run out of strength, money, or decide that the game is not worth the candle. In this case, the intriguer risks stopping the development of love halfway.

Stage 4: To love or not to love, that is the question

Not every love for a man passes the test of time, ending at the previous stages. Only from this moment does it move to a qualitatively new level. Previously, the average guy did not think about the long term, but acted instinctively, at the behest of physical attraction. But sooner or later the question arises head on. A man is trying to determine whether a girl is suitable for him to start a family.

At this stage, he makes global decisions and seeks answers to pressing questions:

• Will the marriage with this girl be happy?
• Do I want to marry her?
• Is she my ideal?

When making a choice, a man focuses not on the external, but on the internal qualities of a woman. He evaluates her as a person, imagines her as a wife and mother of future children. The paradox is that before this he tried to make a girl fall in love with him, without thinking about the consequences. And when he was confident in her love, he began to test his feelings for strength himself.

Selfish? Undoubtedly. But male nature cannot be changed. Only a select few fall in love at first sight for the rest of their lives. Ideally, it makes no sense to distinguish separate stages of love in men. We know beautiful love stories well from books and films. In real life, unfortunately, knights of love without fear and reproach are extremely rare.

The psychology of a man’s love for a woman begins in early childhood. Its foundation is the relationship between mother and son. If the atmosphere in the family is permeated with warmth, then the young man will experience tender feelings for the woman he loves. Grown-up boys who lack maternal love will require increased care and warmth from their chosen one.

Stage 5: Readiness to Love

Love of the stronger sex is a more rational feeling than that of a woman. They need to comprehend the idea of ​​their partner before deciding to take a serious step. If a man is sure that he has found a worthy companion, the matter ends with a wedding. This is the best criterion of true love, as they say, for all times and peoples.

If the answers to the questions are negative, the guy disappears from the horizon for no reason, which gives rise to deep heart dramas. The decision to break off a relationship seems illogical only for an abandoned girl. For the initiator of the separation, it is deliberate and natural.

If the girl does not insist on marriage, he can continue the relationship without obligation. Real situations cannot be divided into “plus” and “minus”, into love and dislike. Sometimes a man does not dare to propose due to everyday problems, parental pressure, or religious beliefs. But in such cases, he informs the girl about the reasons, and does not disappear without a trace.