Psychology of men in love and how to understand it? Advice from psychologists

Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Apparently, this is why misunderstandings often arise between representatives of different sexes, often leading to conflicts and mutual hatred. But hate is always opposed to love. Although this feeling sometimes arises between representatives of the same sex, the vast majority of couples consist of representatives of different sexes.

And if everything is clear with women’s love, then what about the psychology of men in love? Probably every woman living on the planet is trying to find the answer to this question. Unfortunately, men are from Mars, and women cannot understand them. But what if everything is much simpler?

How men understand love

There is an expression: “a man loves a woman not because she is nearby, but because of who he feels next to her.” It perfectly describes the entire psychology of men in love. Not a single adequate representative of the stronger sex wants to see a woman with him who constantly belittles his dignity.

He is more likely to choose the one who supports him in difficult times, helps, if not in deed, then in a word, believes in him more than in himself. Calmness, tenderness and satisfaction from sex are some of the main components of male love. The essence of love for men is so simple. Smart women understand this and do not burden either themselves or their man with unnecessary conversations about love and how to show it.

Is there a cheating gene?5

Sometimes people do not limit themselves only to fantasies and move on to translating them into reality. This leads to infidelity, which affects both men and women. Scientists from Australia have put forward the opinion that there is a special gene for betrayal, and if it is present in the DNA, then a person will definitely go outside, and more than once.

Experts studied 7 thousand people and found that 400 women cheated on their partners. These unfaithful ladies had precisely that same gene. Many will ask: what about men? Are they really all faithful to their life partners? Of course, this is far from true. Representatives of the stronger sex also cheat, but these actions do not depend on the presence of the gene. A clear relationship can be seen only in women. But it is not yet clear whether young ladies can fight the call of genes or whether they can resist it.

Stages of male love2

Physical desire

Physical desire is a key element in the first hot stage of a relationship. The way we look in the eyes of our partner matters; we shouldn’t even try to deceive ourselves. The existence of some feature or detail that is attractive to a partner indicates that everything is moving towards the first stage. Physicality is point number one.

Building an emotional connection

The second stage in a “young” relationship is the emergence of a connection between partners. Similarity of characters, mutual understanding between partners, a sense of support - all this is important not only for women, but also for men. Building an emotional connection is the second stage.

Love

At this stage, a man begins to rethink his life, analyze his feelings, the values that guide his partner, serious questions and first statements. Life in a man’s head is divided into “before” and “after”. And if the “after” option seems more interesting, everything moves on to the last stage.

Love

The final stage of falling in love. Knowing the disadvantages and advantages, values and beliefs of his partner, a man accepts him for who he is and begins to slowly plan a future together.

What is male psychology?

If for a woman the most important thing in a relationship is a feeling of care and security, then for the stronger sex, respect and trust of the chosen one are much more important. A man wants to be accepted for who he is, without trying to transform him into some other person.

Here are two situations:

A lady in a relationship wants constant contact, she sends SMS every hour with questions: “How are you?”, “What are you doing?”. This will make him angry and irritated. Well, what can change in such a short time? Messages will be especially unwanted during the working day. It is not always possible to respond immediately, perhaps at this time he is at a planning meeting or discussing the intricacies of the project with colleagues, and at the other end of the line, after 10 minutes of silence, a form of hysteria begins with a new avalanche of messages.
When a woman has difficulties or problems in her life, she definitely needs to speak out. Not even always, in order to receive practical recommendations for permission, she simply thinks during this process, frees herself from emotions, feels the interlocutor’s concern and participation. Guys don’t have such a need; they prefer to go through the situation in their heads on their own and don’t want to be pulled or lectured at this time.

Even with these two examples, one can already be convinced that the psychology of the two sexes has significant differences. Girls have fan-like thinking; several things and thoughts may be in their field of vision, processes run in parallel. Everyone is familiar with the situation when she cooks soup, chats with a friend on the phone, and at the same time does not let the baby out of sight.

Guys have tunnel thinking, they concentrate on one task and are as busy as possible with solving it. Therefore, they really may not notice anything else around them. These are physiological characteristics that have been formed since ancient times, they should be taken for granted.

How to understand what a man loves?3

Unfortunately, at present there are too few representatives of the strong half of humanity left who can safely express their feelings and take steps towards shared happiness. Instead, women, thanks to their intuition and experience, understand that a man is in love and perceive manifestations of this. However, you should be careful with conclusions and not confuse love with ordinary passion.

Experiencing sexual attraction, representatives of the stronger sex become willful, courageous hunters. But if a man truly loves, he becomes more shy, and a little timidity appears in relation to the object of his adoration. Also, he noticeably changes in appearance. If during any conversation he can be distracted by some irritating factors, then during a conversation with the woman he loves, the man fully listens to her. In the psychology of male love, this is the main signal.

In order for a woman to understand whether a man loves her, she must first listen to how he talks about the future. But in this context, the future is not a date next Saturday. When a man truly loves, he will make plans for a longer time. If he's planning his next vacation and includes a woman in his plans, that says a lot. At least that he plans to be with this woman for at least another six months.

In order to understand the psychology of a man in love, you need to pay attention to how much space he devotes to his chosen one in his life.

For example, if he used to stay late at work, and now he’s in a hurry to go home to his woman, arrive during the lunch break instead of eating at fast food, skipped a workout at the gym in order to go to a snotty melodrama together - all this means that the man has strong feelings.

The best thing is if he does not want to lose a single romantic evening in the presence of his lady love, if he confesses his love in front of his friends. You should beware of men who only want to be together. This may indicate that the man is playing a double game.

This means that it is likely that there is another “love of life”, and maybe even several of them. Such men are either hiding something or are ashamed of their chosen one. A man in love will always be proud and happy to share his happiness with his loved ones. A man in love makes compromises. He may be right, he may insist on his own, but sometimes he will still make concessions, since relationships entail an obligation to be tolerant of each other, and this will allow you to become a little happier.

If he shares his hobbies, it shows love. In general, representatives of the stronger sex are more reserved than women. They don't like to share their hobbies with just anyone. And that's why if a guy invites a girl to play poker, bike ride, or some other event that he previously attended alone, this indicates a strong emotional connection between people. And this connection is precisely an integral part of a man’s love relationship.

It is important to notice what he pays attention to. You don't have to be the center of his universe, at least not yet. But if a guy, for example, walking past a beautiful girl in a short miniskirt does not look at her ass, this already says a lot. If, for example, he does not flirt with other girls, preferring to do this with his chosen one, he most likely understands that the chosen one is the only woman on whose feelings he depends.

If yesterday a girl said that she loves ballet, and this morning he brought tickets to the performance, this means that the girl has become an integral part of his life.

And the most important criterion for a man’s love is his participation in all aspects of his beloved’s life. If a man is interested in a girl’s parents, work, life in general and simply asks: “How was your day?” - He loves.

Male jealousy

The stronger sex are owners by nature . Almost every guy experiences this feeling towards his wife or girlfriend. Arriving at a cafe, club, or in the company of friends, they automatically scan the environment for competitors and try to prevent them from invading their “private territory.”

A negative reaction can be caused by new friends on social networks, enthusiastic correspondence, evening messenger signals about a new message, calls from unknown subscribers, laudatory odes to a colleague or a friend’s spouse. Men try not to show jealousy overtly, although there are individuals who indulge in Italian passions with or without reason.

It is advisable not to provoke them with the desire to demonstrably flirt with someone at a corporate party or picnic. This will not add warmth to the relationship, but will sow the seed of mistrust and become a reason for quarrels.

Each partner must be sure that he is the best for his other half. And the rest of those around them seem to lose their gender identity and become just people. You shouldn't get on each other's nerves like that.

Choosing a life partner

In the stories of men you can often hear the phrase: “I saw her and realized that I was ready to marry this woman right now.” Indeed, it takes seconds to analyze a person at the level of intuition and subconsciousness. But then the mind comes into play and the recognition stage begins.

A sane adult understands who he wants to see next to him and has a set of criteria. For everyone it is different: for one it is important to have an intellectual interlocutor nearby, for another - a fighting friend, comrade-in-arms or mother, for a third it is important status, model appearance, beauty.

But still, most men value general qualities:

kindness, ability to empathize;
ease of character, ability to negotiate;
intelligence;
cleanliness;
thrift.

It is useful to discuss in advance what exactly he understands when he says that he dreams that his wife will greet him in the evenings with a clean house and a hot dinner. Does cleanliness mean eating a washed cup or needing to scrub the floor three times a day? Does dinner consist of semi-finished dumplings or complex restaurant dishes?

Often, when talking about the same thing, two people mean different things. Then grievances and complaints arise. It is necessary to discuss in advance who will support the family, how to spend vacations, how to form a budget, and whether it will be shared.

There is nothing shameful here, love is love, and real life consists of more than sighs and confessions. Of course, this is true in long, serious relationships.

Men's secrets

There are things characteristic of male psychology that guys prefer to keep silent about:

Fear of admitting that you are wrong. It is difficult for them to admit that their actions were wrong.
Craving for freedom. It's rare that a guy wants to get married. Even after living with a lady for ten years and having children together, he can claim that he is single. And no matter how he lies...from the legal side.
Need for admiration. Showing off dust, embellishing your biography, exaggerating your achievements is a standard scheme for the seduction stage.
Restraint in emotions. You shouldn't expect the average man to have a violent reaction to anything. He can speak out with gusto when he sees a dented car and not react at all to the news of the pregnancy desired by both spouses (“What’s wrong with that, we tried, it’s normal”).

At the same time, they also love to gossip, give vent to their feelings to sad music, a movie, and discuss moments of their intimate life. But only in the society of a “closed club without women.”

Herd instinct

Groups are formed by:

Age principle. People grew up listening to the same music, reading the same books, playing similar games, living in a common system. They have something to talk about, it’s interesting to remember the key moments of their youth and childhood.
Common interests - sports, cars, military service, work in similar fields - whatever.

Another option is to be friends against someone, for example, an asshole neighbor blocking the driveway with his car, or the government. You shouldn’t limit your loved one’s communication with friends; they also need to be in their own space and chat about topics of interest.

Dying Swan Syndrome

A woman with a temperature of 38°C is able to care for a baby, cook food and do general cleaning. Boys are taught from childhood to fall into bed and begin to die with a slight runny nose, to write a will by sneezing three times. Trying to fight this costs yourself more.

It would be more correct to use this time to show care, participation and love: prepare herbal tea with honey, light chicken soup, cover with a soft, warm blanket. It wouldn’t hurt to ask what exactly he wants now: peace and quiet, watching his favorite movie together, snacks. It is at such moments that it becomes clear how people relate to each other.

Deviations in love4

Quite often, women may encounter manifestations of unreasonable jealousy in their direction, as well as eternal prohibitions and attitudes. Read more about the psychology of love in our article.

Jealousy is the result of self-doubt and feelings of inferiority. However, he never admits this even to himself. Correcting an inveterate jealous person can be very difficult, sometimes even impossible. And here a woman has two options: reconcile or break up.

Constant nagging is the result of improper upbringing or revenge for past unsuccessful relationships. Undoubtedly, there is correct, meaningful advice. But they are in no way the same thing as attempts to impose their own rules.

A loving man, having noticed any flaw in a woman, will try to calmly explain it, find ways to solve problems, but he will definitely not forcefully impose his policies.

But they are in no way the same thing as attempts to impose their own rules. A loving man, having noticed any flaw in a woman, will try to calmly explain it, find ways to solve problems, but he will definitely not forcefully impose his policies.

That is why a woman should not change radically for the sake of the man who foams at the mouth and forces her to do it. It is precisely this behavior that is an attempt to raise one’s self-esteem by lowering it among others.

Message from the Editor

This concludes the article. However, this is not all that we dream of explaining to you. Here's another interesting fact about relationships that will make your life easier when looking for a partner. Scientists have come to the conclusion that the appearance of a candidate is not the first thing people care about. The most important thing is the ability to present yourself correctly. If each of you enjoys and gets high on yourself and your body, then you will not only be able to get rid of a large number of doubts and complexes, but you will also meet a person who will love your soul, and not your appearance. Love yourself, don’t pay attention to your weaknesses - and a relationship will appear almost immediately!

Sexual Traditions of the Ancient World8

Well, with modern trends almost everything is clear. Sometimes it seems that sex is taken very lightly now. But if you remember the ancient people, you can understand that earlier debauchery also reigned. So, rich ancient Arabs rented other people's wives in order to have fun with them in bed. If a woman became pregnant, her family's status increased. Of course, the son of an influential man is now growing up!

Homosexuality flourished in Ancient Greece, and in an open form. A Greek could choose a boy and officially notify him of his sympathy. The young man had to decide whether he would agree to sexual relations or hide so as not to be taken away during a symbolic abduction.

In Ancient Egypt, oral sex was highly respected. Of course, according to their legend, Isis breathed life into Osiris through the penis. But the Romans avoided blowjobs. If it was known about a person that he was interested in this kind of thing, then he was not even invited to visit. However, a slave could always be used for oral gratification.

The Egyptians also valued masturbation. Pharaoh once a year went to the Nile and satisfied himself on its banks, sending sperm into the water. It was believed that in this way the life-giving power of the river was fed.

Do you think sex toys only appeared in modern times? No matter how it is! The oldest phallus is 26 thousand years old.

And ancient people enjoyed sex with animals. This is evidenced by images on ancient frescoes, and myths clearly speak of this. Women used snakes for satisfaction, men had intercourse with goats and other animals. In Greece, a similar process was even part of a religious ritual.

Read more about the psychology of sexuality in our article here.

Message from the Editor

These are by no means all the interesting facts that we can tell you. Did you know that the ability to love can be developed and even “pumped up”? Yes, yes, you heard right. According to research in the field of social psychology, this requires giving your partner as much attention as possible. This makes it possible to reduce the activity of those brain currents that are responsible for the formation of negative emotions such as anger, anxiety, and rage. Thus, the more you pay attention to your partner and spend time with him, the less angry you will become with him. At the same time, empathy develops, which can help you better feel and understand your partner’s state of mind and mood.