How to force your husband to admit to cheating: signs of cheating, reasons for your husband’s silence, effective tips and recommendations from a family psychologist

By nature, all men are polygamous, and not everyone has the strength and desire to resist temptations. For this reason, many families experience difficulties in relationships and even break long-term family ties. Very many men, wittingly or unwittingly, become hostages of such a situation when they have decided to go to the left, and do not want to destroy their family. What should a wise wife do in this situation - create a scandal, remain silent offendedly, or pretend that she doesn’t know anything? But how can you overcome the bitter resentment within yourself or cross out with one emotional act all that strong and good that was built together for many years and was called family? In order to make any fateful decisions, apparently, you should first understand the reasons that prompted your husband to take such an offensive step for you. But how can you force your husband to admit to cheating if he stubbornly remains silent about it?

Finding out the reason

Family life is hard joint work, during which spouses painstakingly build their relationships every day, getting used to and adapting to each other. And if you managed to create a good family, do not rush to destroy it. After all, history already knows many examples when a wife, who rashly threw a scandal and defiantly slammed the door, thereby freed her husband’s hands and was left without him. You can regret it a hundred times, but you can’t take back what you’ve done. Therefore, before taking decisive measures, it is necessary to carefully find out why he did this. Maybe everything happened so unexpectedly that it took him by surprise and he was unable to stop in time? Perhaps he regrets that he cheated, maybe he doesn’t regret it, but the fact that he keeps his betrayal a secret still shows that he values his wife and her peace of mind is dear to him.

Do you need the truth?

How to get your husband to admit to cheating? More on this later. But, trying to “split” your spouse into confession, first decide whether you need it? Do you want to know for sure that the betrayal took place, and hear it from his lips? If so, will you have the strength to survive this, understand your husband and forgive, or are you categorically determined to break off the relationship? For the most part, random “leftist” sexual stories mean nothing to men precisely because of the polygamous nature inherent in them, while a woman, as the keeper of the family hearth, is always on guard for the family and has a sharply negative attitude towards infidelity.

Actions that will force your husband to confess

If you clearly suspect your man of cheating, start directly looking for evidence. If you can’t find anything, don’t despair and tell your spouse to his face unproven phrases about his infidelity. Such a move would be stupid and would not bring any results.
In any case, the man will begin to defend himself on a psychological level and refute your speculations. Your spouse is quite capable of asking a counter question, in which case you will feel guilty. Hence, scandals are inevitable; most often, this is exactly what the deceiver achieves, removing suspicion from himself.
Try to go to his social networks, read the correspondence. Look at your mobile phone, pay attention to SMS and mail. There may be appointments, interesting photographs and loving vulgar texts. Pay attention to calls, when and how your husband answers them.
It is worth understanding that you need to find irrefutable evidence that cannot be disputed. Otherwise, you will turn out to be a nervous hysterical woman who suspects her spouse of everything. If you are unable to find clear evidence, put pressure on your conscience.
Say more gentle and affectionate phrases, remind him how good and faithful he is. If the reaction contradicts your conversation, the spouse will begin to squirm and react differently than before, betrayal on the face. No need to dig any further. It is important to understand that even in this case he is unlikely to confess.

After finding the evidence, have a serious talk with your husband. Forget about scandals, such behavior will alienate your spouse even more. Remain equanimous despite the pain. In rare cases, after such a situation, the marriage can still be saved; such stories are individual. Therefore, have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband and decide your future fate after the fact.

Passing fad

Let's try to impartially figure out why the husband does not admit to cheating. If some time has passed after you received a signal about your spouse’s infidelity, but your husband’s behavior remains exactly the same as always, this may indicate that this event did not leave a noticeable trace in his memory or that the event did not happen at all. There are many known cases when certain well-wishers interpret what they saw in their own way and present their conjectures as an already accomplished fact.

Say it all straight out!

There are many different ways to get your husband to admit to cheating. In reviews, women write that if you really want to make sure whether adultery has occurred, then use a sudden psychological attack. Its essence is as follows: reconnaissance in force. Tell him directly that he was seen with his mistress in a spicy situation, and carefully observe his reaction. The husband’s confusion and his feverish search for innocent excuses for this meeting will tell you that there was betrayal, but he does not attach any importance to it and does not want to ruin your relationship because of such an insignificant incident. If he did not lose his composure, remained calm and unperturbed, and was even surprised by your words, most likely your suspicions are unfounded or he is a deeply secret spy and well trained to manage feelings.

How to make your man admit to cheating?

No matter how much a man loves his wife, he can change: such is the essence of men. The fact is that a man’s main instinct is to continue the tribe, and for this he needs to fertilize as many females as possible.

Therefore, male infidelity is a more common phenomenon than female infidelity.

What's the matter?

There are other reasons too. For example, he values his family very much, and the betrayal was caused by a temporary clouding of his mind (men's instincts cannot be avoided). In this case, think about whether you really need to know about this betrayal? It was and was.
And finally, he simply doesn’t cheat, and you screwed yourself up and made up unnecessary things.
First of all, such a confession is stressful and fearful, including for the traitor himself. He is constantly afraid: what if they find out. When the truth is revealed, stress comes in a second wave.
He may also not take the other person seriously, believing that such an affair is not even worth talking about.
In addition, he may be worried about the children. Even if he stopped loving you, his love for children has not gone away and he is afraid of losing them;

But how can you force your husband to admit to cheating if this happens systematically or he has a constant “other”?

And if this is important to you, and you consider betrayal to be a betrayal, you need to force him to admit this betrayal. The fact of betrayal is already undeniable, but the man remains silent.

This is where you need to start looking for evidence.

Pay attention to this:

Or, on the contrary, a man suddenly becomes unusually tender and generous, gives gifts, although he has not done this before;
You stopped having heart-to-heart conversations. If before you constantly corresponded and talked half the night, and now he has withdrawn into himself, perhaps he has another;
My husband often comes home full and refuses dinner. Rarely, but it happens.
Constant dissatisfaction with you. The reasons are sometimes completely ridiculous and far-fetched;
The husband has become secretive and constantly hangs out on the phone;
Lack of sex. There are two options here: either he has problems with potency, or he is not interested in you. Alternatively, the man has new words and tricks in bed. Perhaps the “other” taught him this;
The husband began to have his head in the clouds;
The husband began to pay a lot of attention to his appearance;
His work schedule changed dramatically. He may stay at work half the night, he does not have enough time to talk on the phone or correspond with you;

What should you do?

Firstly, put aside fortune telling and conspiracies, they will not tell you anything about treason. Secondly, do not let your emotions take over you and do not make empty statements to your husband. We are looking for evidence. Sometimes they make themselves felt: other people’s trinkets or underwear in his car, contraceptives in your pocket that you have never used, the constant smell of the same perfume from your husband... True, prudent men can diligently clean up all the evidence, but this will not prevent us from finding evidence of treason.

Here are just a few ways. This is the most reliable method, but it has more disadvantages.

What to do with recognition?

But it may also happen that the husband admitted to cheating. What to do now with your exact knowledge? Without having any secrets in this matter, some kind of decision will have to be made. How to do this if you love your husband and would like to preserve the relationship by any means? At the same time, you will have to swallow your resentment and, perhaps, give the go-ahead to his further affairs if he understands how dear you are. It should be borne in mind that even if you try to forget about this incident and continue to live amicably and happily, from time to time you will remember this situation when your husband is late at work or asks to go fishing with friends. This worm of doubt will always generate distrust in his words and promises. Is knowing about cheating worth it? Maybe it’s better to leave everything at the stage of doubt? It’s easier to experience it psychologically: either it happened or it didn’t.

Expert advice

Many women are used to making decisions based on emotions. Stop this behavior, otherwise your emotions will work against you. If, after the news of betrayal, it is difficult to cope with anger and calm down, then it is better to seek help from a psychologist. Experts identify the following mistakes in women’s behavior when their husband’s betrayal is detected:

showdown with a rival. Don’t be humiliated, it still won’t help, but will only worsen the situation;
they make scandals for the husband, press for pity with tears and hysterics;
begin to take revenge on their spouse using similar methods.

If the husband cheats but does not confess, then it is difficult to correct the situation with the listed actions.

The first thing psychologists advise is to try to calm down in order to reason calmly.

Then invite your spouse to talk. Agree that the conversation will only take place if the husband is sincere. During the conversation, do not interrupt the man, try to get to the bottom of the real reason for the betrayal.

The main thing is to find out whether the betrayal was the only one or whether this happens periodically. Every person can make a mistake. And if a woman loves, then you can forgive a one-time betrayal.

It's hard to get your husband to confess. Therefore, you need to make an effort to help him open up. Perhaps the betrayal was the beginning of a crisis in family relationships, which had come a long time ago, but had no way out.

If you want recognition, stop putting pressure on your husband, give him time to comprehend what he has done. Agree when he is ready for a frank conversation. This situation also depresses men. On the one hand, home, family, children. On the other, a new woman to whom he also gave some hope.

Help your spouse. Push him to talk, to confess. It happens that after realizing their mistake, the relationship is restored and the spouses continue to live together.

If you're not sure you can handle a conversation with a cheater, try writing him a letter. While you write, perhaps rethink the situation, understand whether his recognition and restoration of lost trust is really so important to you.

Express your emotions not to your husband, but to your friends, loved ones, or cry alone. Think about it: maybe your spouse’s betrayal is your fault. After analyzing all the options, you can start a conversation with your unfaithful husband.

No matter how the situation turns out after the confession, do not stoop to similar behavior and banal revenge.

Signs

In this situation, psychologists advise not to act recklessly, but to pull yourself together and take a close look at how your husband behaves. There are some signs by which you can quite accurately understand whether your spouse is honest with you. For example, he began to stay late at work more often, explaining this as another emergency, he doesn’t have enough time for you - neither for affection, nor for simple attention, conversations with you on the phone have become shorter and drier, and there has been some cooling in the bedroom, or even complete calm - I’m tired at work, I just don’t have the strength.

Men with a different temperament, on the contrary, begin to pay increased attention to their spouse, bring her expensive gifts, pamper her in every possible way, or even present her with a long-term voucher to some prestigious resort. So they are trying, firstly, to make amends to you, and secondly, to avert any suspicion from themselves. But if the husband is silent and secretive all the time, often receives SMS messages and talks on the phone, while trying to be alone, this is a sufficient reason to be wary.

If you add to this constant dissatisfaction with your actions and questions, far-fetched reproaches begin, intensive updating of your wardrobe, self-admiration in the mirror, love for sports awakens, it’s time to ring the bell. Otherwise, traces of lipstick will soon appear on his clothes, the smell of someone else's perfume and lack of sex. And this is a reason to think about whether your family is so strong, whether it is worth continuing such a life together, full of omissions and lies. Maybe, instead of thinking about how to get your husband to admit to cheating, it’s better to let him go into a new relationship and part as good friends than to raise a scandal and tell your spouse about his meanness and your ruined life? And as a result, they still separate, but as enemies. Each such case is individual, and only you two can decide what to do in your situation.

Signs of male infidelity

When a woman notices changes in her man, she begins to have a terrible thought about how to bring her husband to light and convict him of cheating. There are different circumstances, so even a delay from work or secrecy are not indicators of betrayal. For this you need to find more compelling reasons, which are:

READ How to forgive a guy for cheating and is it worth doing?

Unplanned departures. If before this the partner came home from work on time, did not go with friends, or his car did not break down in the middle of the road at night, here, most likely, you can find evidence of a connection on the side.
The man has his head in the clouds. He often uses his phone, set passwords, changed his appearance, started taking care of himself, playing sports, and updated his wardrobe.
Lack of intimate life. Marital sex is very rare; a man always faces some obstacles to it.
Moved away. If before a husband and wife communicated often, spent time together, corresponded, called each other, and now he has distanced himself from his significant other, then, most likely, he has a mistress.
Unfamiliar smell. When a guy is intimate with a girl, the scents of her deodorant, perfume, shampoo and cigarettes linger on his skin and clothes.
He himself is jealous of his wife. When a man starts an affair on the side, he is sure that his wife will do the same to him. Because of this, he arranges scenes of jealousy for her, even if there is no reason for them.

Psychology advises that if you want to bring your husband to clean water, remember that the signs are not yet proof of betrayal, so do not rush to file for divorce or break off the relationship. Overcome your emotions and think rationally.

Why does he hide the fact of betrayal?

However, first it is better to try to understand why the husband does not want to admit his infidelity. Psychologically, men hide this until the last moment, even if everything is already obvious. They staunchly defend themselves, preferring in this case to turn the arrows on their wife and make her a counter, even absurd, accusation of adultery. There have been many cases in the practice of psychologists when a husband forced his wife to confess to infidelity, trying to justify his infidelity and give it the status of revenge for his wife’s infidelity. This, as it were, reduces the degree of his guilt and shifts all responsibility for the current situation onto his wife as the source of the problem.

But how can you force your husband to admit to cheating if he is silent, although this fact is already undeniable and he has been presented with enough strong evidence that does not give him room to maneuver? Here we should note the features of male psychology that prevent him from admitting the obvious:

for him this is stress, he is afraid to admit that he is a traitor, because he will have to give explanations for his action, which, as a rule, he does not have;
he does not want to lose his family, not attaching importance to a one-time clouding of his mind, therefore, in this way he protects his family from collapse;
he does not consider relationships on the side to be serious or significant in any way, these relationships will not harm the family, therefore he is not going to talk about them;
he may worry about his children's opinion of himself if he admits to what he did;
the husband may be crystal clear, and all these warnings are the machinations of ill-wishers.

As we see, men have their reasons, and in some cases their reaction is completely justified, and their guilt is excusable. So if you value your family and husband, think about peacefully resolving the conflict.

Why doesn't my husband admit to cheating?

After all, this is pure betrayal, which most often cannot be forgiven! And therefore, cheaters do not want to talk about it openly, so as not to arouse anger and aggression upon themselves, trying to justify their actions with other actions.

Don’t forget about public opinion, the condemnation of family and friends, neighbors, and work colleagues. Such an offense is unlikely to have a positive impact on other areas of the male’s life.

CONSPIRACY

But if you are determined to find an effective way to extract a confession, pay attention to other ways to force your husband to admit to cheating. A conspiracy is an excellent folk remedy with which you can achieve success in this matter. In practical magic there are many conspiracies that correspond to this situation.

What is the conspiracy to make the husband admit to cheating? You need to pour water into a bowl, light a candle and, holding it over the water, say the words: “Candle, melt, strange woman, show yourself.” If the wax, frozen on water, takes on the outline of a female figure or head, it means that infidelity is taking place.

Provocation

What to do if, despite everything, the husband does not admit to cheating? Advice from experienced people who have walked this path before can help you. For example, some of them recommend provocation.

The surest way to snatch a confession is provocation, when you provoke your husband with your direct conversations to explain the meeting that took place with another woman, which took place before your eyes or your good friends/acquaintances. His reaction will tell you a lot. You can also put pressure on his conscience, if he is a conscientious person, by telling him what a wonderful husband he is, faithful and caring, in contrast to some mutual acquaintance or even a fictional character - the husband of a mythical friend, who allegedly secretly cheats on her, a scoundrel. sort of. Watch the reaction.

Should I forgive betrayal?

If you are thinking about forgiving betrayal and moving on with your life, then it is important not to make the same mistakes. Firstly, the partner himself will no longer value you, since he is not afraid of losing, after all, you forgave once. Secondly, the situation will repeat itself. If your spouse did not admit why he left for another woman, which did not suit him in your relationship, then he will cheat again.

READ Why men need lovers: the psychology of betrayal

So, the woman decided to close her eyes to the betrayal and continue building her family. You can forgive betrayal if you have something to value, there is no dependence, you understand why you love this man, you just want to be with him, no matter what.

If he does not give you financial security, moral satisfaction, does not care about your family and children, then think carefully. Maybe he committed this betrayal much earlier?

When losing a loved one is worse for you than betrayal, then you should work on the problem. You need to let go of the resentment from your heart. This situation happens to show the girl how she does not value herself and how she treated herself incorrectly before. She needs to take time for herself, raise her self-esteem, learn to love herself. You need to sincerely thank your husband for showing her that she deserves more. You need to understand that you can just be a happy woman, and consider betrayal as a reason for decisive action.

A man must also realize what he has done. He needs to earn the trust of his wife, treat her with respect, and no longer allow delays or a disconnected phone. If unforeseen matters arise, the spouse should be warned. A man needs to show that he has sincerely repented and wants to make his other half happy. Then after a while everything will calm down.

Social media

You can also check your fidelity through social networks by registering under a different name and with someone else’s beautiful photo, asking your husband to be your friend and starting a correspondence. You can learn a lot of interesting things about yourself, so think about it: do you need it? Organize a romantic dinner for him and carefully extract the information you are interested in. In any case, confession is not full-fledged evidence of betrayal; he may simply get angry and confirm your speculations or want to tease you and keep you on your toes. If you want to convict your husband, get ironclad evidence, otherwise he will lead you by the nose for a very long time.

Advice from psychologists

My husband cheats and lies: how to get him to admit to cheating?

Cheating is always unpleasant for both marriage partners. Is it worth bringing a suspect in an affair out into the open and how to behave if you yourself have gone wrong and are tormented by a feeling of guilt?

There are no universal answers: in each family, spouses must independently decide how their relationship will develop after the fall of one of them. How to force a husband or wife to admit to cheating?

How to make a wife love her husband again?

Find out about this from our article. Why did thoughts of infidelity arise?

If you are not a hysterical person, accustomed to inflating “elephants out of fruit flies,” then unusual real nuances in her behavior may suggest thoughts about the infidelity of your significant other.

The most common “deviations”: The desire to block access to all information on the phone from other family members.

Any attempt to touch the device leads to an outbreak of aggression.

Moreover, the degree of its manifestation is clearly not proportional to the “crime”.

This behavior is usually observed in teenagers - a normal phenomenon during the period of growing up - and in adults who have something to hide.

If your husband or spouse does not work in the secret service, then you can reasonably suspect that a subject has appeared in your telephone contact log who threatens your family idyll. Constant telephone conversations away from your ears.

Even during the daytime, when there is no need to protect your or your children’s peace. Frequent overtime at work.

Moreover, on days when the other half intends to be home much later than usual, she is especially picky about the impeccability of her wardrobe and carefully preens in front of the mirror.

In response to your timid remarks about the desire to spend more evenings together, he is rude.

Pronouncing someone else’s name in relation to you, as well as nicknames that are uncharacteristic of your relationship such as “bunny”, “lapule”, etc.

Eliminating previously habitual heart-to-heart conversations, joint outings to the cinema, cafes, museums or hikes. Refusal of numerous offers on your part - as a cover, there may be a complaint about the heavy workload, fatigue, etc.

d. You just need to clearly understand that in such a situation the excuses may be due to real rush jobs, and your suspicions of treason may be fictitious. The presence of a persistent aroma of someone else's perfume. An excuse like “we were standing next to each other on the subway” or “a colleague wore too much perfume” can be accepted as justified once or twice.

And if someone else’s spirit is firmly ingrained in the things of your spouse, then this is already an unpleasant signal.

Someone else's intimate item, like a trace of lipstick, does not appear out of nowhere and is not planted by ill-wishers.