In this article we will talk about how to survive being fired from your job. Almost every person has encountered this problem at least once in their life. And coping with this is not always easy, especially if you liked the work and put a lot of effort into it. The approaching retirement age may complicate matters. So, what to do and how not to allow yourself to give up?
Reasons for leaving work
We list those specialists who may be at risk:
- Workers who stop there, who do not improve their qualifications, do not improve their skills.
- The results of the employee’s activities are not noticed by anyone.
- People who believe that they do not depend on anyone.
- Employees who surround themselves with henchmen and ignore constructive criticism.
- People who don't get along well with coworkers.
- Those who refuse to mention their career achievements.
Consequences of dismissal
What can you expect if you are fired from your job? The first thing you will experience is shock and stress. The familiar world around a person collapses, acquaintances remain in the past, and self-esteem plummets. Often a large number of layoffs occur in crisis situations, at a time when management seeks to retain only the most valuable and promising employees. And this leads to the fact that a person who finds himself in such a situation begins to get into his head the thoughts that he is worse than everyone, that he is unable to achieve anything in life, etc.
You can’t get hung up on this, you need to distract yourself from gloomy thoughts. Think about the fact that everything is relative, because some are better at one thing, and some at another. Don't forget that this failure can be the beginning of something new.
Now let’s take a closer look at two great ways to cope with depression and start looking for a new job.
Long job search
It’s not enough just to cope with depression due to being fired, you need to find the courage to start looking for a new job. It is difficult for an unemployed person to decide to have an interview or send out a resume. Causes of increased anxiety:
- doubts in one's own abilities;
- fear of failure;
- fear of the unknown.
Have you been unable to find a job in your specialty for a long time? It's probably worth trying something else. At employment centers you can receive training and retraining in popular professions - accountant, teacher, hairdresser, seamstress.
What will it give? Of course, if you worked in a bank and received a decent salary, you are unlikely to be pleased with the prospect of becoming a seamstress-machine operator. But who knows how this will turn out in the future. It is possible that you will discover the talent of a fashion designer or open a business related to the production of clothing.
The first thing you need to do is put yourself in a “resource” state. Write down on one piece of paper what worries you - in one column, and in the other - the antipode of this experience.
If you can’t cope with this on your own, then you need to find people who are in a “resource” state so that they can offer you a formulation. For example: “They won’t hire me.”
What phrase can be “anti”? “If I change the strategy, the result will change.” But, of course, you need to not only repeat this phrase like a mantra, but actually change your job search strategy.
Second phrase: “I’m running out of money.” Antipode - “I need to mobilize and connect more people, then I will have more opportunities to get a job.” You need to start with this.
In addition, you need to walk more in the fresh air. Be sure to not forget about sports and movement. You need to pick up old contacts, communicate with people, friends. But don’t behave from the position of “I’m a poor thing.” It’s better to ask your friends about their job search experience.
If you are rarely invited to interviews, then it is likely that the problem is a poorly written resume. Find a person who will help you compile it correctly; now this can be done without leaving your home, via the Internet.
From a professional point of view, of course, the employer makes decisions based on appearance. You need to understand how they dress in the structure you want to join, and come in appropriate clothes. You need to be prepared not only to answer questions, but also to ask them, because the person asking the questions looks more competent. Such people are always more interesting for an employer.
Be prepared for the employer to ask you about your goals and dreams. They must be ambitious but realistic. There is no need to speak with some kind of theatrical aplomb; it is better to convincingly say that you are moving towards a certain goal, and this company is suitable for you in this regard.
First way
How to cope with the stress of being fired? Psychologists have long proven that the emotional state of a fired person is comparable to the feelings that people experience after betrayal or divorce. Therefore, the consequences, especially for those with a weak psyche, can be very severe, ranging from depression and insomnia to nervous breakdowns. To survive a layoff and stay healthy, you need to follow the tips we present below.
Second way: do not forget about formalities
Let's consider another option on how to survive being fired from your job. Depression is possible in any case. However, you can shift your attention a little to the formal side of the matter.
After the first emotional shock, thoughts will begin to appear that being fired will ruin your work record and put an end to your career. We need to immediately drive away these ideas. Do not try on the role of a supplicant and do not tremble in front of the director. You still have nothing more to lose, so try to figure it out. Be sure to find out the reason for dismissal. Don't forget about your rights and labor laws. You cannot be thrown out of the door without a means of subsistence. Don't let your employer profit from this either.
Be sure to control your emotions. Don't let self-pity take over, try to remain calm. During conversations with management, do not make threats or get personal. The discussion should be conducted in strictly business language. Study the Labor Code in advance (dismissal and everything connected with it, in particular) and select the paragraphs of the law to which you will refer. Behave with dignity. A bad relationship with a former employer can complicate the search for a new job, as management may be reluctant to provide references.
Don't look at being fired as a failure of your entire life. Try to see this as an opportunity to start over. In addition, in your old place you acquired certain skills and experience that will be useful in later life.
June 21, 2017
Elena Teplova Doctor, psychologist, freelancer, I love to study and teach, create and create. I believe that you can always find something beautiful in life, and one day the sun will definitely come out from behind the clouds. Even after the nuclear winter
- facebook.com/profile.php?id=100016979742035
Each of us is looking for our own path in life. Someone finds it, someone doesn’t even know where to look, and someone with a sigh of regret peeks through the ajar door at their dream and does not dare to take a step towards it.
My name is Elena and I am a doctor. Like many, I worked 12-16 hours a day. Until one day I decided to make a choice and finally began to Live.
Typical gray
I worked three jobs. From 8 to 17 I was an expert at the regional hospital, dealing with papers, checks and other matters. There I was also listed as a part-time epidemiologist. Usually this was not very stressful, but sometimes I had to run from morning until evening, practically without squatting. And after other doctors’ workdays ended, and I couldn’t find anyone on site, it was necessary to draw up reports.
My third job was freelancing. I wrote texts for the websites of several clinics. I did this at night or during breaks at work. Because of this, I constantly heard dissatisfied grumbling that I was “hitting the keys too loudly.”
The colleagues were... different. Some are young and, dare I say it, talented doctors - like a breath of fresh air. Others are like good strong vinegar. With their mere presence, they could poison those around them for the whole day and cause a real migraine attack. And this is not to mention regular scandals, showdowns out of the blue and other specifics of working in a women's team. I usually cut such people out of my life without regret. But nothing could be done here, and we had to endure it for years.
My day didn’t even look like “Groundhog Day,” but like some kind of endless viscous dream from which it was impossible to wake up. Getting up at 5 am - getting to work - work itself - getting home - eating - work - going to bed at 1 am - getting up at 5 am - work... It was... What can I say, it was terrible.
I didn’t meet friends, didn’t go to the cinema, refused to party. My only dream was to spend a week in a horizontal position so that no one would touch me. Personal life also fell apart. Of course, who would like to see next to them a barely alive gray amoeba that only wants to sleep and eat. For a long time, my man delayed this relationship, but then he couldn’t stand it either. And I wasn’t even worried - at that moment I didn’t have the strength for that either.
Last straw
I understood that all this was wrong. I wanted to change my life, but couldn't figure out how. It was scary to be left without a livelihood. Alone in a strange city, without help, without loved ones. What I can? Do I have any choice?
My parents added fuel to the fire: hearing my timid words about changes, they immediately reminded me about my pension, work experience, and the prestige of the regional hospital. They considered freelancing to be entertainment, an intellectual hobby. And they advised him to quit. And I continued to drag myself, dreaming about sleep and sinking deeper into depression.
The point of no return was... my hair. Yes Yes exactly. They suddenly began to fall out in whole strands. It was scary. I took tests, took a course of vitamins, tried different “healing masks” - all without the slightest effect. Finally, having finally come to terms with the prospect of early baldness, I began to look at wigs.
But then the session began (yes, I completely forgot - I was still receiving a second higher education, in absentia). I dropped out of working life for four weeks. And right before going to work, my temperature suddenly rose, and I spent another two weeks at home with pneumonia.
At some point during my forced vacation, I noticed that the condition of my hair had noticeably improved. And this despite academic stress, workload and illness.
By the time I finally went to work, my hair stopped leaving me without any action on my part. I was delighted to tell everyone about my miraculous cure. And a couple of weeks later it all started again. This was the last straw. I decided to quit.
I submitted my resignation only a week later. It was very scary. I was shaking from the thought that I would have to go to practically nowhere. That you will need to announce your decision and answer the questions “where” and “why”. When I imagined this, my legs gave way and I wanted to cry.
The words of a friend helped me take the final step: “You will have to endure this, but only once.” Numb with horror, I entered the head physician’s office... My friend was a little wrong about “one time.” Thanks to the “wonderful” work of the HR department, I only rewrote the application three times, not to mention other adventures. At some point, a haunted voice squeaked in my head: “Or maybe go back? I can still return everything!” But no. The bridges were burned, and all that was left was to move forward.
The day came when I left work, never to return there again. When I got home, I burst into tears. And the next morning I woke up a different person. Free.
What's there, beyond the horizon?
The last week at work was filled with some kind of euphoria. I suddenly discovered that a rowan tree was growing near the exit of the hospital. The frost on its branches in the light of the lanterns cast a deep blue, contrasting with the shamelessly red large berries. I saw a garland on the Christmas tree. I think it had been hanging there for a couple of months, since before New Year's. But only now I saw it, dusted with snow and cheerfully blinking lights. I heard the tram rustling, clinging to the power line ropes with its “horns”. I saw the stars. Lord, how beautiful the stars are in winter!
It was getting ridiculous. I admiringly told my colleagues how amazing the moon was yesterday, how huge, bright yellow, ripe it was, how it floated over the houses... And they looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders. And I understood them. I had never seen the moon before either.
The first month after my dismissal passed in such an elated state. I lived like Jim Carrey's character in his movie Always Say YES. I wanted to get everything from life that I couldn’t get before. Master class on making brooches? Sign me up! Morning yoga in hammocks? Of course I'm coming! Street art festival? Concert at the Philharmonic? A rock band performing in a bar? Don't forget about me! Go out of town at night to look at the stars and drink tea from a thermos? I'm already leaving!
At the same time, I still managed to write my texts for regular customers. And I even found one new one. In fact, simply out of fear of being left “completely without a job.” Still, this is a very unusual state - to be unemployed. Gradually I began to get a taste for it.
Friends met me and started smiling. They said that I had changed, that I was fresher. That she no longer looks like an “exhausted panda.” They began to invite me more often to some events and just to go for a walk. I met new interesting people. This is exactly what I wanted from life!
Equilibrium
I was like a man who had emerged from the depths and was greedily gulping air. But oxygen can also poison you. This happened to me too. Now, instead of the “office,” I spent my entire day and evening meeting with friends. And at night she continued to write texts for her customers. Soon everything returned - the bruises under the eyes, fatigue, and the state of “I don’t want anything, leave me alone.”
Like a child freed from strict parental control for the first time, I tried to breathe life. But I was no longer a child and could take responsibility for my life. And there was clearly a lack of balance in this life.
I started by planning my week. One event per day, no more. If a large order was planned, I devoted the whole day to work and rest after it. I planned a “weekend” for myself when I could take a break from both the computer and people. And she achieved what she wanted. Life retained its bright colors and dynamism, but now there was no longer the feeling that I was rushing downhill with the brakes failing. I could control my life myself.
Not everyone will resonate with my story. There are people who truly love their work. I understand them and even envy them a little, because doing what you love is wonderful. There are those who devote themselves to family and children. Alas, I have neither one nor the other yet. There are those who value stability and a familiar way of life. I also understand them and accept this point of view. But I found myself in a cramped cage and began to suffocate in it, while my soul demanded freedom. And I got what I wanted.
Now I have that mythical “free schedule” that I dreamed of so much. I can work, write my texts, even during the day, even in the evening. I can sleep until eight in the morning, or until noon! Go to the store when there are no lines yet, meet friends. I have the strength, desire and opportunity to attend concerts, exhibitions, events, learn and develop.
Reality
It's been some time since I started proudly calling myself a freelancer. During this time, I managed to fall into the traps that lie in wait for those who choose this path, and find a way out of them. Go all out under the influence of your euphoria and find balance again. Earn a lot, spend even more and, finally, develop for yourself a certain set of rules that I adhere to now.
1. Don't be afraid to look for new opportunities.
If you are not happy with something, you need to concentrate not on how bad it is, but on how it can be changed. There are no hopeless situations, I’m sure of that. And if you feel that you are starting to be sucked into the swamp - it doesn’t matter whether it’s work, personal relationships, something else - urgently look for a way out.
2. Don't make hasty decisions
You can't cut from the shoulder. I went freelance when I already had two regular customers. I carefully calculated my monthly budget and only then made a choice. But, naturally, the loss of one of the sources of income could not but affect financial well-being.
Before you decide to take a drastic step, you need to build your rear. Gain experience, find customers, achieve sustainable profits from your business, or at least switch to part-time work, while doing work and what you love. Then there will be no feeling of being “in the deep end”, and the chances of swimming out and not being disappointed in such a life will increase.
3. Be prepared for discomfort
Sudden changes always entail instability. Having become accustomed to regularly receiving a predetermined amount, it is difficult to adapt to the financial “swing” when there is either little or a lot of money. If your whole life you get up at 5-6 in the morning, it’s hard not to break down and ruin your entire routine. When your boss always has your back, it’s not so easy to deal with laziness and procrastination.
Now you are your own boss, you must monitor your own success, your own work. No one will sit you down at the computer or remind you of the deadline. And about the fact that “no matter, I’ll make it in time!”, as a rule, turns into a nightly puffing over the order at the very last moment.
4. Don't follow others' lead
Each situation is unique in its own way. At the time when I decided to make changes, I was alone, without a family. Yes, I didn’t have a husband who could take care of the well-being of the family while I was looking for myself and my recognition. Perhaps the decision was easier for me then. But I didn’t have a child either - a little person for whose life I would be responsible. In this case, I would hardly dare to quit my job.
5. Don't be afraid
Fear makes you shrink into a ball, turns you inside out. It blinds, makes decisions ill-conceived, hasty, or, on the contrary, forces them to be postponed until the last minute. Especially the fear of change. The comfort zone, our usual state, is a cozy blanket. It takes courage to get out from under it. But only beyond the boundaries of what is comfortable do new opportunities, new acquaintances, and maybe a new life await.
6. Listen to yourself
This is probably one of the most important rules. We often forget what we really want. We listen to others - parents, friends, colleagues, neighbors, society as a whole - but for some reason we forget about ourselves.
Sometimes you need to ask yourself a direct question: “Is this what I want? What do I want to do? Am I ready to live like this for the rest of my life? Do I feel good?
If the answer is “Yes,” great. Smile at this world, because you are going your own way. And if not? Then see point 1 - “Look for new opportunities.”
I've been on both sides of the barricades. I can’t say unequivocally that “hired work is evil,” as some try to present it. I liked helping people, I liked what I did. But I like living like it is now, with this heady feeling of freedom.
To each his own, I have already made my choice. And I can say with full responsibility that there is life outside of work! You just need to not be afraid to take the first step.
Self-development #Career #calling #freelancing
Dismissal of a pensioner
How can a pensioner survive dismissal? After all, people of this age are more vulnerable in such a situation. Often retirees devote a lot of effort to the enterprise and are attached to it with all their hearts. For them, work has long become an integral and very important part of life. Therefore, it is much more difficult for them to cope with depression.
Were you fired from your job after retirement? What to do? Typically, retirees still have many friends from their service. Don't forget about them and shut yourself off. Support from loved ones can help. Remember that retirement is an excellent opportunity to live for your own pleasure. You have a lot of time that you can spend on yourself and your hobbies - take walks more often, find yourself a hobby.
Freelancing is a great alternative
There are people who, after being fired from work, do not want to return to the office. Usually these are young mothers on maternity leave who want to spend more time with their family. This category also includes students, retirees and people who simply wanted to change their lives. They view dismissal not as humiliation, but as an opportunity to become better and develop themselves.
The reasons are the reluctance to adapt to the work schedule, long commutes to work, denying oneself travel, and working for pennies. Other motives are the desire to work for yourself, travel, adapt to your biorhythms and constantly increase your level of income.
At first, such a candidate experiences fear. A new, completely unknown field, without a stable income and experience in it. The main thing is to have a great desire to learn new things and be prepared for the fact that at first such work will not provide the desired amount of money.
In most cases, the activities of freelancers consist of fulfilling individual orders. If he has done a high-quality job several times, there is a high probability of receiving an invitation for long-term cooperation with one customer. Gradually gaining experience, you can reach the desired level of income.
There are now many options for learning any remote professions. These are usually courses that are delivered online for the convenience of the participants. Their advantage is that during the training process the employee “recovers” the cost of the course and, if successfully completed, can acquire customers.
The main benefits of freelancing are listed below.
- Flexible work schedule. Typically, a freelancer has no designated working hours. He has a specific deadline, which is agreed upon in advance with the customer. And how he distributes his time is his own decision.
- Ability to work from anywhere in the world. For a freelancer, the main thing is to have access to the Internet and installed programs for work.
- No age restrictions. The employer often does not care what the age of the performer is. The main thing is that he does his work on time and efficiently.
- Convenient payment methods. It is carried out through different payment systems to a bank card. Payment terms are agreed upon in advance. Usually it occurs after a cycle of orders has been completed and the project has been completed. If the cooperation is long-term - several times a month or at the request of the employee.
The qualities that freelancers should have are responsibility, the ability to get things done, communication skills, organization, and the desire to develop. To be a good performer, you need to constantly work on yourself. There are many options for this, most of which are free.
Such work will provide an opportunity to gain financial independence and allow you to organize vacations at a convenient time.
Advice from a psychologist for pensioners and people of pre-retirement age
The worst thing to lose your job is for those who have very little time left before retirement. The reasons for leaving a job may vary, but you need to make sure that they are legal.
By this time, a person has accumulated vast experience, perfected his skills and is well versed in his field, but employers prefer to hire young people. This situation is especially difficult for women.
At an older age, they no longer think about what field they want to work in, since everything has already been decided long ago and it is too late to change anything. You need to analyze your skills and knowledge, and then determine the industry where they may be most in demand. You can find a suitable vacancy with the help of neighbors, acquaintances and even former colleagues. The latter are especially valuable in this regard, as they continue to move in the right professional circles.
You also need to pay attention to your appearance. During the interview, you should be friendly and confident. At the same time, you need to be prepared for refusal. You can hear “no” many times, so there is no need to despair and fall into the blues. Try not to lose your fighting spirit and remember the power of persuasion.
Today, the main requirement for a potential employee is the ability to work on a computer. Therefore, you will have to master this skill if you are applying for a good position.
“I can’t come to my senses after being fired”
- And at the moment Hitler is responsible for this? Is he to blame for all your troubles? Zhenya, it seems to me that it should be burned.
— Yes. I think yes.
- Just crucify. Because if it didn't exist, you wouldn't have any idea what to do. It would have to be invented. Because otherwise, then everything that happens in life loses its meaning. You have an enemy - three to be exact - who are responsible for the fact that you are now in the fog. Like a Hedgehog.
— Yes, like the Hedgehog.
- But the Hedgehog cannot walk in the fog for a year.
— Yes, it's time to get out.
- Fine. Let's get back to your goal. If we have agreed that you are responsible, how might you state the purpose of our work?
— I think the goal would be to stop returning to certain situations, stop replaying them every second. Just move on.
- This is called “here and now.” Have you probably heard this expression?
— Yes. From psychology.
— This is a state that can also be called “perceiving without thinking.” When you are in the moment and perceive what is happening to you at a given moment in time. Are you thinking about Hitler at the moment?
— Think.
— So you are here, but you are not here?
— I'm here, of course.
— So, you are here after all. And you have the opportunity to live every second the way you live it now. If you make an effort, of course. And you can do it. But then you really need to take this responsibility 100% upon yourself and live your life.
— And not the one that someone comes up with for me. Or imposes.
— Exactly. Not the one you think you need to live. Not Instagram, but real life. Every second. What else could we do today to outline a plan for immediate action? What ideas will you have?
— What do you need to do to live here and now? Just do it. Just do what I like. Don't think about what your friends will say...
— Can you not think about it?
— Hard.
— Well, try not to think about the white monkey now.
— (laughs) A clever trick, yes.
— A person cannot help but think. In any case, a person is powerless over his own thoughts. As well as in front of your own feelings. But you can take action. To be in reality, here and now, you can perform certain actions. Let's outline what actions will allow you to be here, in the moment, now. What do you generally like?
— I like to travel. I love exhibitions. I love Van Gogh.
— So.
— I love the theater.
— Fine. What else? What actions do you like? For example, in the film "Amelie" the heroine loved to put her hand into a bag of grain. What do you like?
— I love baking pies.
— Great. With what?
— With apples.
— There are still a lot of apples now. You can bake a pie today or tomorrow. You can invite guests, for example. Take it to a new job.
— No one will refuse there.
TK: dismissal. The legislative framework
Any dismissal must be based on Article 80 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation. Be sure to familiarize yourself with this law and read all the amendments that have been made to it.
If the case is complex, then it would be useful to contact a lawyer. You must make sure that everything is happening according to the law and the boss is not trying to deceive you by not paying the required compensation. In a stressful situation, people rarely think about the legal side of the matter, as they are in a phase of denial or anger. And when emotions become dull, it is too late to demand something. If you yourself cannot understand the legal intricacies, turn to your loved ones for help.
