Failures at work? Ask yourself these five questions

Do you really need to deal with the obstacle?

It all depends on what exactly happened. For example, if you have experienced an incident of sexual harassment, you need to find allies and deal with the situation.

But not all obstacles on the path to success are worth fighting. For example, if you were unable to attract a desired client, this could simply be because he chose another company. He didn't do it out of malice. Or your boss may have promoted your colleague rather than you simply because that person also had the right skills.

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If you resist in such situations, you will show that you have not understood them. Better accept what happened. Treat the participants in the situation with respect. Who knows, maybe they will make you a better offer.

You don’t need to immediately unleash your anger on the culprit - give yourself a day to collect your thoughts and cool down. Sometimes it's tempting to send an angry letter, but believe me, you will be better off if you refrain from this idea. A sharp, emotional response can very rarely influence the interlocutor’s decision.

Hardworking, burnt out

The term “burnout syndrome” was coined by American psychiatrist Herbert Freudenberger in 1974 to describe the psychological state of people who are healthy but emotionally overloaded during work, such as close and extensive communication with clients. Initially, employees with burnout were defined as those who felt exhausted and useless. Later, burnout syndrome began to include poor health and symptoms of certain diseases.

Researchers from Yale University's Center for Emotional Intelligence and the Faas Foundation have found that employees who lack job satisfaction are prime candidates for leaving. They studied the level of professional engagement of American workers and compared it with their level of burnout. One in five employees reported both high engagement and high burnout. These respondents felt stressed and frustrated, even though they were eager to learn new skills. It was among these people that there was a high percentage of those who intended to change jobs - there were even more of them than in the group of those who were not involved. Thus, companies risk losing their hardest-working employees due to burnout.

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You are disappointed?

There are times when you really want something but don't get it. Moreover, the more you wanted it, the harder it was to accept failure. In such situations, you usually feel sad or disappointed.

Don't let disappointment distract you from your possible future in the workplace. Failures can undermine your self-confidence. Realize that you are only feeling frustrated because you have made a lot of progress and are only a short distance away from success. Use this energy to focus on the positive changes you can make.

Problems at work? Write down your thoughts and feelings

Often, when faced with a problem, we begin to endlessly “chew” it in our heads, playing and replaying the same scenario. We tend to believe that thinking about what happened will help us overcome discomfort, but in fact, mentally replaying the situation only makes things worse. According to psychologist Mark Williams, “rumination is part of the problem, not part of the solution.”

On the other hand, reflective thinking—writing in a journal or talking through thoughts—is a much better way to cope with psychological and emotional difficulties. Meaningful action - that is, action that helps you feel better - is much more effective than chaos in your head, which usually only intensifies negativity.

Imagine that you are going through a difficult period at work. You can't stop worrying about the upcoming deadline and your tense relationship with your boss. You are replaying in your head the last conversation when the boss accused you of missing the deadline for an important project and refused to listen to your explanations, despite the fact that the reason was not actually you, but precisely the changes he had recently introduced.

You are sure that your boss considers you an inadequate subordinate, unable to complete tasks on time. It's not true, but you don't see a way to get your point across without sounding like excuses or paranoia. And the worst thing is that due to the same problems that led to missed deadlines now, the next project is also at risk.

You can't stop thinking about the situation and so you spiral down into a downward spiral of anxiety and helplessness. What will the boss think if the next project also falls through? What if he fires you? How will you find a job in the current state of the economy? How will you provide for your family if you lose your job?

But instead of dwelling on the hopelessness of the current situation (which will ultimately lead you to a dead end), you can make another choice - start taking action. This will help you feel better and move in the right direction.

First, create a new file on your computer and write down all your thoughts and feelings about this situation. The process of writing will already help you improve your mood, and after you put your thoughts in order, you will be able to see what specific steps you need to take in order to still deliver the project on time, despite all the difficulties and problems.

If you manage to do this, your boss will be convinced that you are a competent and loyal employee, and you can again raise the issue of the new rules and why they are hindering your performance. Once you get out of this situational “hole,” you will be able to find other ways to improve your relationship with your superiors.

Are you stressed?

If you feel stressed after learning about your failure, you probably feel like an imminent disaster is approaching you.

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The first thing you need to figure out is whether this is really the case. Perhaps you have a much more serious problem to deal with - for example, your job at the company is at risk. If you can somehow solve it, do it to minimize the negative consequences.

But don't forget that stress can also be caused by the fact that you constantly have negative thoughts. Perhaps you are not really in danger, but because of minor failures, you keep thinking about your fears. In this case, you should contact a psychologist. Or try writing down everything that worries you - this method helps reduce stress.

KONSPEKTY.NET

Failures in the life of every person are an inevitable, natural and partly even useful phenomenon. In my youth, I was greatly impressed by the poem “Your misfortune is that you did not know trouble.” According to its author, a “lucky” and “lucky” person is not really like that; he has not been tested by fate, has not been tempered by life’s trials, and therefore can break at the first failure. Failures are our experience, and every experience is valuable. Although they say that smart people learn from other people’s mistakes, the best teacher is still personal experience, including mistakes and defeats. It is impossible and not necessary to completely avoid failures; the main thing is to learn to perceive and experience them correctly. And the science of how to survive failure is very important for successful people, because success is not a solid white streak of continuous success, but the ability to not give in to failures.

The most important thing is not to perceive failure in any area as a complete collapse of all hopes, the end of life. Even if failures follow a streak in life that seems endless, it is very important to believe that changes for the better are just around the corner. If you fixate on your troubles and convince yourself that they will now haunt you for the rest of your days, it is likely that this is exactly what will happen. Many people have probably had to deal with the mystical ability of thoughts and expectations to materialize.

Another important rule from the series on how to survive failure: find the bright side in everything. Perhaps bad luck is actually good luck. After all, the passenger who was late for the Titanic's departure turned out not to be a loser, but a lucky one. Perhaps, by sending you a test, fate thereby gives you a chance to change your life for the better. Got fired? Did you really like her? Maybe it’s better to try your hand at a new capacity, open your own business or become a freelancer and not depend on the whims of your superiors. Or maybe you were fired at the most opportune moment, just when a vacancy appeared that you had long dreamed of, simply created for you, but working in your previous place, you simply would not have paid attention to it. Broke up with a person with whom you considered a promising relationship? It’s good that this happened right now, before you had time to spend too much mental energy on it. And maybe tomorrow you will meet your destiny. Even an injury can be seen as an opportunity to put your thoughts in order, and illness as a reason to think about your lifestyle and change it to a healthier one.

There is a rule: thank circumstances for successes, and blame yourself for failures. But you shouldn’t go to extremes when following it. Grumbling about fate, which undeservedly offended you, about envious people and intriguers who are responsible for your defeat, cultivating your resentment and feeling sorry for yourself is an unproductive path. But the opposite position would also be wrong: to engage in self-flagellation and write yourself down as a chronic loser. “I was unlucky, because I couldn’t be lucky, and never will be lucky, that’s my fate, I’m a fool, I’m a sucker, I’m a loser, I shouldn’t have expected anything else” - such thoughts should not be allowed in the event of failure. no matter what. The most constructive will be an objective analysis of the reasons for the failure: “This time I was unlucky, because I made a mistake here, I miscalculated here. I didn’t achieve my goal, I lost something, but I gained valuable experience. Next time I will take my mistakes into account, avoid pitfalls, not step on the same rake, and success will await me.”

Sometimes the best way to cope with failure is to distract yourself with something unrelated to the area in which it happened to you. Having failed in a personal relationship, you should not rush to start new ones, and having lost your job, it is better to allow yourself a short vacation, even without pay. If over and over again you fail to solve a problem or complete a job, put it aside for a while, switch to what you are good at, what gives you pleasure. The positive attitude formed in the process of such work will help overcome difficulties. And when you change activities, it may suddenly dawn on you how to cope with the task that caused so much trouble.

No one is immune from failure. But for some, failure turns out to be a stone that puts pressure on their shoulders, does not allow them to raise their heads, and prevents them from moving on. And someone will push this stone under their feet and use it as a step on the way up. You can’t set yourself up for failure, but you need to be prepared for it, as one of the possible scenarios. Then she won't be so unsettled. And if failure does happen to you, there are several rules for surviving failure. It must certainly be perceived as a temporary phenomenon, not dwell on the bad and look to the future with optimism. In the failure itself, you need to try to find the positive, some benefits, and gain experience from it. If one door slams in front of you, it means another one has opened somewhere. Having completely thrown out the emotions caused by failure, you need to forget about it, restore your breathing, put your thoughts in order and move on. To good luck and victories!

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