Developing a sense of humor
We have all heard the famous saying “laughter prolongs life.” Numerous studies have long confirmed its positive effect on the cardiovascular, digestive, immune systems, hormonal levels and the condition of the body as a whole. There is even the science of geotology, which studies the effect of laughter on human well-being and health.
It turns out that people with a good sense of humor not only help others endure troubles more easily and be more optimistic, but also make themselves and those around them healthier.
How to Use Your Sense of Humor to Make People Laugh
As previously stated, be sure to work on your vocabulary. Read more books, magazines or articles. Because using the right words in the right situation will help you develop a good sense of humor and you will be able to express yourself correctly. But it is also important for you to know when and what to say. And this only comes with experience. So every time you say something funny in an attempt to make someone laugh, judge their reaction. And think about it, would it be funnier if you said it earlier or later? This kind of conscious self-reflection will help you hone your humor to perfection.
It's also a good idea to show confidence when you're trying to make a joke. Speak loudly and without embarrassment. Maintain confident body language and make sure you attract everyone's attention. Whether you can make someone laugh largely depends on whether you believe in yourself or not. Like most things in life, confidence plays a vital role in your attempt to bring a smile to another person's face.
It is important to remember that humor should be natural. The ability to make people laugh is something that develops over time and should eventually come naturally. This is not something you can learn overnight. As a true student, try to imbibe the above tips. Develop a witty sense of humor before deliberately trying to solve one joke after another. Let observation and experience take their course. The point is to develop the ability to bring a sincere smile to a person’s face. So don't do it too hard. Otherwise, your humor may go from boring to obnoxious.
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about the author
Julia
Want to know how to achieve your life goal? This blog will help you learn how to apply psychology to your relationships, health and well-being. My goal is to teach my readers how to maximize their effectiveness in life.
Is it possible to learn to joke?
The common assertion that a sense of humor is an innate trait and cannot be learned is incorrect. The main thing is the desire and readiness now, from today, to begin to perceive life in a different, brighter light.
A sense of humor is a very complex, multifaceted concept; it presupposes that both the comedian and his audience have imagination, associative thinking, ingenuity, logic and observation. Therefore, children do not develop an understanding of humor immediately, but as their thought processes become more complex.
To make a four-year-old child laugh, it is enough to say an obvious absurdity: “I cut the apple into three halves.” An adult, of course, will not laugh at this - his perception of what is funny is more complex. This proves that humor can be developed in the same way as memory or attention.
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Patterns of humor
Meticulous scientists, studying a particular issue, certainly want to subject everything to measurements and find patterns. The same thing happened with a sense of humor. Researchers have been able to establish the mechanisms by which jokes are constructed. Let's look at the most common ones.
Irony
Implies a hidden meaning of a phrase, opposite to the explicit and obvious. For example, when they say “That was brilliant...” about a ridiculous action or decision.
Ambiguity
A joke is made using a word that has two or more meanings. “We lit the stove all night, and by morning it sank.”
Substitution of expectation
The listener expects a logical development of the situation, but the story has a different, unexpected interpretation. For example: “We inform a person who has lost a gold watch in the cinema: half past six.”
Comparison of the incomparable
A vivid, unexpected comparison of concepts that are far from each other. “Life is like a piano: black, white, black, white, lid...”
Jump
When listing related concepts, add to them one from a completely different sphere. “In a relationship with a beloved man, romance, passion, and so that the husband does not find out anything are important.”
Attractive factor
– Is it possible to somehow develop a “sense of humor”?
– You can develop any qualities. There is such a term - emotional intelligence. There are people who have encyclopedic knowledge, but they are not always successful in life terms, they may not be very successful in career or financial terms. This happens due to the inability to feel other people. This can and should be learned.
Article on the topic
For your figure, heart and teeth: 6 reasons to smile as often as possible Recently there was a question about what exactly women are attracted to in men. Among the options were an expensive suit, a good watch, an impressive bank account and other characteristics of men. And it turned out that first of all, women pay attention to a sense of humor. Wit is a gender attractive factor, which is also valuable from the point of view of procreation. A sense of humor allows modern man to survive in difficult situations, that is, this is an important quality from an evolutionary point of view.
– Why does a person find it funny “just like that”, as if for no reason at all?
– There is always an invisible background, some kind of context. It’s not funny just like that, there is always an invisible reason or reason for laughter. The ability to show or feel this context is a sense of humor.
– Why does your condition often change suddenly after a long period of laughter, and sometimes you feel like crying?
– The fact is that “everything is good in moderation”, this applies to alcohol, nutrition and even listening to music. When there is an overabundance of some phenomenon, reserves are depleted and a reverse reaction occurs.
Laughter is a strong positive emotion that allows you to forget about all the difficulties and problems, but after its excess, a person seems to return to earth, and that is why emotions opposite to laughter come up.
– Is it possible to die from laughter?
– There are situations when this is possible. Just as unexpected grief, “unexpected joy” can be dangerous. There are cases (though very rarely!) when people die of happiness. (That’s why Buddhist monks teach to be as calm as possible about both victories and losses.) But this is an extreme situation. People are much more likely to die from a stroke, heart attack, or anything other than laughing. Chronic pain, depressive or anxiety disorder are more life-threatening phenomena than long and boisterous laughter.
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When and how to joke?
Humor should not only be funny, but also be appropriate to the situation. It is known that the best joke is the one that came at the right moment. With its help, you can defuse a tense situation or support a person who is ready to give up. Therefore, you need to correctly assess the situation, because it happens that humor is completely inappropriate, and sometimes downright offensive.
You cannot laugh at injury or illness, at disasters, at the misfortunes of others, you should not offend people’s religious feelings or ridicule a weak person who cannot find a worthy answer.
The wonderful properties of humor are that it makes people better and encourages them to unite, and offensive jokes are just slander that speaks of a person’s callousness and his inability to understand others.
Read further: Personal development in society
A person trying to develop a sense of humor must be prepared for the fact that he himself will become the object of someone’s jokes. An integral feature of all comedians is the ability to laugh at themselves. In addition, you need to be able to appreciate not only your own jokes, but also those of others - this is the only way to fully learn the art of making others laugh.
Inject into the patient
Elena Vladimirova believes: if a person realizes that the joker inside him is not sufficiently revealed, this can be corrected. But first, it’s worth diagnosing what level of “comic skill” is at the moment.
It is also important to find out what exactly “Nesmeyana’s problem” is. There may be two reasons: the inability to wrap the situation in a metaphor and excessive sensitivity to the jokes of others.
Elena Vladimirova, family psychotherapist:
People get hurt by jokes that go to their sore spots. Let's say someone is often criticized because of laziness. In this case, a person develops the opinion that all jokes, anecdotes, memes that contain something about laziness are a stone in his garden. Then humor does not make you laugh, but hurts.
You can get rid of this if you develop the ability to clarify: “Is this really about me now?” It may also happen that the joker meant one thing, but those around him understood something else.
Jokes on the Internet.
CCO.
For the same reason, social media users may overreact to memes or tweets, taking the impersonal wit personally.
Elena Vladimirova, family psychotherapist:
The Internet space is a model of real life. In both places, people became more vulnerable and aggressive. This is mainly due to the increase in anxiety levels in society. The same thing happened when the pandemic began. People don't feel confident or stable. That's why they defend themselves tightly.
However, sometimes, the specialist notes, bullying actually hides behind the humor.
Elena Vladimirova, family psychotherapist:
For example, one colleague says to another: “Oh, Katka! You're a bit sleepy today. You look funny."
And at this time, the woman to whom the comment is addressed may have serious problems and needs support. Here we see a gross violation of boundaries. After all, Katka did not ask anyone for an expert assessment. And in any case, it must be given carefully.
Jokes on the Internet.
CCO.
Main types of humor:
Affiliative humor is used, as a rule, to defuse the situation.
These are good jokes, without sarcasm or cynicism. People with such a sense of humor have high self-esteem. Not susceptible to depression. Aggressive humor is based on harsh sarcasm. Allows humorous insults towards a certain social group. People with this type have reduced emotional stability.
Self-stimulating humor - this type is characteristic of people who are not afraid to laugh at themselves. They often make fun of their failures and difficulties. They are optimists with high self-esteem.
Self-deprecating humor: a person jokes about himself, as if making himself an object of ridicule. The products of this comic activity usually evoke sympathy among others. Such “comedians” are prone to depression, anxiety, and are emotionally unstable.
Useful tips for developing a sharp mind and sense of humor
- Learn to start the day in a good mood and with a smile, then there will be a humorous side to any problem.
- Be interested in humorous programs and films, read the latest jokes, communicate with funny people.
- Be confident. Adequate self-esteem helps you joke about yourself and not be offended by witticisms addressed to you.
- Take part in creative events or personal trainings - they help overcome self-doubt, if you need to speak in front of an audience, they will reveal your inner creative potential.
- Choose a few individuals whose sense of humor you particularly admire. Watch their performances and analyze their jokes.
- Write down the jokes that you especially liked. Create your own joke journal and then use them to create new ones.
How to learn to joke - 10 exercises
People with a good sense of humor are able to look at things and situations from different angles. To do this you need to have a good imagination and associative thinking.
These exercises will help develop the necessary qualities
"Words starting with one letter"
Choose any letter of the alphabet and make a long common sentence using words starting with that letter. This exercise not only replenishes vocabulary, but also develops flexibility of thinking.
"Associations"
Develop the habit of quickly selecting at least five associations for any word. The more unexpected and interesting they are, the better.
"Anti-associations"
Try to select several words for each word that will be completely far from it in meaning. This will develop associative thinking.
Read more: Benefits of reading books
"Ambiguity"
Think about how many meanings the words you use in everyday speech have. Remember not only their usual use, but also slang or figurative meanings. Strive to ensure that your brain does this quickly and, subsequently, automatically.
"New words"
Choose a well-known word ending or prefix (“-ness”, “counter-“, “super-“) and come up with new words and terms with them. Give them a dictionary definition and make a few sentences with them.
"Unreal Definition"
Give a well-known word an unknown definition that does not correspond to the meaning. Don't limit your imagination. The definition can also be given by consonance or similarity of words.
“How to use the item?”
Choose a common item, such as a cardboard box. Think of at least twenty ways you can use it.
"Search for similarities"
Choose two objects or concepts that have very little in common. For example, “crow” and “table”. Find as many similarities between them as possible.
"Identification"
While watching a comedy program, try to classify the jokes made in it: is it irony, double meaning or comparison, or perhaps hyperbole?
"Coup"
Find ten photographs online or in a magazine. Imagine that you are a journalist and you need to come up with a caption for each of them. It’s good if the caption does not reflect the real picture of events and turns out funny.
How to develop a sense of humor: exercises and tips
Discussions about whether a sense of humor is an innate quality or an acquired one have been going on for years, but no one has come to a consensus. The only thing that all experts agree on is that temperament and abilities play an important role in the development of humor. But as a complete quality, a sense of humor is formed throughout life, under the influence of various external factors and self-development.
Important
For the development of such a quality as humor, self-irony plays a great role, which is directly related to self-awareness. That is, the better you understand yourself, the faster you will find the most suitable ways for you to develop a sense of humor.
Develop your communication skills
For a true “humorist and joker,” it is very important to have such a quality as developed communication skills. A witty person is not only one who can timely insert a funny joke into a conversation, but also one who is able to come up with a good joke himself during communication.
And also: probably, each of you has noticed at least once that in many films and TV series there is always a hero from the category of “tongue without bones”. It is these characters who touch the audience with their fussiness, resourcefulness and stunning sense of humor. By watching such people, you can not only get a boost of energy for the whole day, but also learn a lot, for example, that you don’t need to be afraid of new acquaintances.
A closed, aloof person will never become the life of the party and will not be able to win over those around him, and he is not capable of boasting of having a sense of humor. So, communication skills can be called the very key that can open the door behind which the development of your humor begins.
Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself
In order to make others laugh, you need to be able to laugh yourself, and for this you need to understand the nature of humor. Start by training yourself, look at your behavior, the world around you and your habits with a touch of irony. Try turning stories from your life into a joke.
If you look at your mistakes from the outside, you will notice a lot of funny things. The most popular has always been humor related to everyday life, since this is the topic that is quite close and understandable to others. So, once you learn to see the funny in yourself and your actions, you will be able to celebrate the funny moments in everything that happens around you.
Improve your vocabulary
A truly successful joke will only work if the narrator knows how to masterfully manipulate words and lexical phrases. You cannot consider yourself a successful joker if you cannot connect two words.
Take the habit of reading a lot and varied literature. Your task is not just to expand your vocabulary, but also to increase your erudition, because it is not enough just to know a lot of different words, you need to understand their meaning and be able to use them.
Among other things, erudition will help you both in everyday life and on the path to building a career. A person who can support almost any conversation always evokes respect and admiration among his friends and colleagues.
Train associative thinking
Often a successful joke depends on the ability to choose the right expression and compare concepts that seem distant at first glance. It is this skill that associative thinking is responsible for. To develop it, various exercises aimed at comparing objects and phenomena will be useful to you; fortunately, it is not a problem to find similar literature in bookstores.
Remember tact
Humor as a quality, without a doubt, can be called multifaceted, and, at times, quite dangerous. Remember that in matters relating to jokes, tact and restraint are not the least important things. Pay attention to the context of a given situation and think before you joke about a person.
If you do not evaluate the consequences of your jokes, you can, even without meaning to, greatly offend your interlocutor. Sometimes it’s better to remain silent, even if you are literally bursting with the desire to laugh at something.
Important
It is not recommended to joke about the following topics: nationality, appearance, religion and financial situation of the interlocutor. Otherwise, you will not only not gain the reputation of a merry fellow, but you may also be considered an unworthy and insensitive person.
Positive attitude
A good sense of humor is always based on cheerfulness and a positive attitude. Learn to see positive features in everything, so you will learn to adjust your mood and it will be much easier for you to cope with difficulties.
By smiling at the world, you will receive a smile in return, and by seeing the good in people, you will be able to win them over.
Always believe in yourself
There is no such thing as everything working out on the first try. Even the most famous and successful comedians are not immune to failures and mistakes. Understand that only those who do nothing make mistakes, so don’t give up if something doesn’t work out for you. It didn’t work once, twice, three times, but the fourth attempt will definitely be successful.
Important
In any business, it is important to learn to believe in yourself and your strengths; without faith and diligence, nothing will ever work out. So, forget about fear and doubts and go ahead - towards achieving your goals!
