Consultation for parents “Hyperactive child. How to help?"

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Children with hyperactivity often cause a lot of trouble and require a special approach.
And here it is very important to remember what the true reason for this behavior is. After all, hyperactivity is not a bad character, not whims, and not a consequence of poor upbringing (although the latter can significantly aggravate the situation), but a neurological-behavioral developmental disorder. This means that the child will need your help to cope with an illness that can harm him both in society and in his personal life.

How to communicate with a child with ADHD and what needs to be taken into account when raising him, we will consider below.

How to recognize hyperactivity

The disorder does not occur on its own. The cause may be heredity, brain injury, or bad habits of the mother during pregnancy. The condition is also greatly aggravated by the lack of any education, reproaches, focusing on shortcomings, etc.

Only a doctor can make a diagnosis. However, if you notice the following symptoms, you can immediately take steps to combat them.

First, contact a psychologist or psychiatrist to clarify your diagnosis. Secondly, accept your child’s condition and start working on yourself.

Hyperactive child:

• is in an anxious state even when there are no solid reasons for this;
• characterized by vulnerability, mood swings, and tearfulness;
• may have problems sleeping, insomnia;
• ignores prohibitions, rules and established norms;
• may be aggressive;
• has communication problems and sometimes difficulties in speech development.

Such a baby constantly wants to go somewhere, do something and talk. He can hardly be called assiduous and obedient.

If the above applies to your baby, then immediately go to the doctor. Timely treatment will eliminate hyperactivity by school age. You will receive instructions on how to behave with an ADHD child so that the correction of the disorder is as successful as possible and the child does not become even more uncontrollable.

General recommendations for parents of a child with ADHD: what to consider when raising a child

We cannot turn a blind eye to the existing problem. The disorder must be treated, as its manifestations can negatively affect the child’s future life. He will have difficulty communicating and will not get along well in a team. You cannot let the disease take its course.

Recommendations for parents of children with ADHD are to implement three basic rules:

• it is necessary to establish clear, understandable and clearly defined boundaries of behavior;
• it is necessary to always remain calm and confident in your actions in order to maintain authority in the eyes of the child and prevent the manifestation of even greater aggressiveness and nervousness;
• Communication with the baby should take place in an atmosphere that is comfortable for him.

A parent should always know how to discipline a child with ADHD in a way that is gentle but still explains the reason for the sanctions. If today you scolded your child for something, then tomorrow he will not be allowed to do it. Consistency in actions is very important.

Create a set of rules regarding hygiene and behavior. But you shouldn't introduce too many prohibitions. Remember that not all of your child’s actions are intentional.

Parents need:

• become an example yourself. If you are trying to convey something to a child, then demonstrate personally what you want to achieve from him;
• stick to the daily routine. Eating, taking medications, developing activities and walking should be carried out according to a schedule;
• send your child to sports clubs. It’s good if it’s boxing or strength wrestling;
• punish the child less than encourage and praise.

This will allow mothers and fathers themselves to understand how to live with a child with ADHD and develop the skills to communicate with their child automatically. Also remember that children should have their own chores. You should not overdo it, so as not to cause overwork. But you can instill the habit of cleaning your toys.

Let your child know that he has talents. Find him an exciting hobby. It is important that he really succeeds in doing this.

Consultation for parents: “On hyperactivity and overprotection of children”

Hyperactivity in children is a combination of symptoms associated with excessive mental and motor activity. It is difficult to draw clear boundaries for this syndrome, but, as a rule, it is diagnosed in children who are impulsive and inattentive. Such children are often distracted. They are easy to make happy or sad. They are often characterized by aggressiveness. As a result of these personal characteristics, hyperactive children have difficulty concentrating on specific tasks.

The cause of hyperactivity may also be the pathology of the mother's pregnancy, difficult childbirth, and the like. This diagnosis is made when parents and teachers complain that the child is excessively active, restless and poorly behaves or studies, and cannot concentrate his attention on one thing for a minute. However, there is no precise definition of this condition or a specific test that would simultaneously confirm the diagnosis of hyperactivity. The overwhelming number of parents note that the beginning of such behavior begins at an early age. This condition is accompanied by sleep disturbance. When a child is very tired, hyperactivity deepens.

Most often, according to psychologists, hyperactivity manifests itself in children during adolescence. In recent years, there have been more hyperactive children.

Often teachers complain to parents about the child’s hyperactivity, citing the fact that they see a naughty student only a few hours a day, therefore, his upbringing should be done at home. Parents, in turn, believe that teachers should raise such a child.

What should parents of a hyperactive child do?

Psychologists advise loading it as much as possible in the morning. It is worth creating a routine and, in accordance with it, giving the child clear and specific tasks. The best outlet for excess energy for such a child may be physical activity, in particular swimming and running. In classes, a hyperactive child should be given specific tasks, preferably individual ones. It is also necessary to demand that the child complete the task to the end.

The helplessness of children is the fault of the parents. The desire of parents to surround the child with increased attention, to protect him even in the absence of a real threat, to keep him with them often leads to the deprivation of the child’s ability to overcome difficulties on his own.

As a result of overprotection, the child loses the ability to mobilize his energy, and in difficult situations he waits for help from adults, especially parents. The phenomenon of overprotection most often occurs in families where one child grows up. Increased care from family members, especially the older generation, gives rise to children's fears. They manifest themselves most clearly in the first grade, especially if the child did not attend kindergarten but was raised at home, unlike children who attended kindergarten. Children who were raised in kindergarten adapt better to school life and independent life in general.

The problem of overprotection is becoming increasingly relevant in the present, since most young families, due to their difficult financial situation, can only afford one child. At the same time, parents, as a rule, are busy making money and cannot pay enough attention to the child. But at this time, grandparents are trying to catch up with their children. With the advent of a second child in the family, the attention of adults is evenly distributed to both children, so manifestations of overprotection are less likely.

Often, trying to protect the child from overload, parents of older preschoolers and younger schoolchildren try to do for them tasks learned in kindergarten or at school. The result is that the child is not able to cope with tasks independently in kindergarten or at school.

Increased attention from grandparents and parents leads to the fact that in a group such a child requires constant attention from the teacher, and in his absence he feels unhappy and does not have time to complete tasks with others. Subsequently, in high school students, overprotection turns into the inability to perform exercises independently and leads to infantilism (childishness).

You can combat the consequences of overprotection by gradually teaching your child to be independent. If a child has communication difficulties, you can arrange role-playing games at home with his participation, as well as model and play out various life situations with her. You should not neglect the help of a child psychologist.

Which line of education should I choose?

The problems of raising children in a family are an eternal, but still unresolved topic. Born in a family, this question occupies the minds of scientists - teachers, psychologists, causing controversy and disagreement. Everyday battles escalate into scientific conferences. Strictness or softness? Authoritarianism or connivance? And children continue to be at a loss about how to behave in order to be good in the eyes of their parents, and what to expect next from these incomprehensible adults? Let's see how scientific advances can help in solving such problems. In pedagogy, it is customary to distinguish four types of parenting: dictate, overprotection, non-interference and cooperation. Each of them has its own results, its own consequences when it comes to the formation of a child’s personality.

Diktat is the systematic suppression by some family members (mainly adults or children imitating them) of the initiative and self-esteem of other family members. The result of parents' adherence to such pedagogical tactics most often is the development of a strong reaction of resistance in the child, if he is inclined to be a leader by nature. Or the result of such an educational process is increased anxiety, suspiciousness, a tendency to fear and self-doubt, if the seeds of dictatorship lay on the ground of the child’s vulnerable, unstable personality. Hyperprotection is a system of relationships in a family in which parents, while ensuring through their work that all the child’s needs are met, protect him from any worries, efforts and difficulties, taking them upon himself. The result in this case is easily predictable - an emotionally immature, capricious, egocentric, demanding personality is formed, adapted to life. On the other hand, overprotection can contribute to the development of hypochondriacal tendencies in a child. Twitched since childhood by excessive care, the child himself begins to feel powerless in any situation that requires him to act or make a decision. It also happens, on the contrary, that during the transition to adolescence, the child feels the need to get rid of excessive care, which ultimately leads to rebellion, vivid manifestations of emancipation, and protest behavior.

Non-interference is a system of relationships in the family, based on the recognition of the expediency of the independent existence of adults and children. The child is left to his own devices. Parents who rely on this style of education believe that it promotes the development of independence, responsibility, and contributes to the accumulation of experience. When making mistakes, the child is forced to analyze and correct them himself. But this method carries the risk of developing emotional alienation in the child, including from his parents. Not cared for in childhood, not receiving the necessary share of parental care, such a child feels very lonely, distrustful, and often overly suspicious. It is difficult for him to entrust any business to other people. He tries to do everything himself.

Cooperation is a way of building relationships in a family, the main principle of which is to unite the family with common goals and objectives, common activities, and mutual support in all areas, including emotional ones. The starting point in education in this case is the word “we”. The child has enough independence, but there is always an adult nearby, ready to help in time, support, explain, calm. Members of such families are united by common values, family traditions, spontaneous holidays, emotional need for each other, and joint activities.

The fourth type of education - “cooperation” - is recognized as the most effective by an increasing number of psychologists and teachers. But in practice, in ordinary families, as a rule, different parenting styles collide, creating tension in the family and adversely affecting the development of the child. Why is this happening?

What are the causes of parental disagreements?

There can be many reasons for disagreements in raising a child in a family. First of all, the reason for this may be differences in the educational experience of parents, which they learned from their own childhood: some parents completely copy the model of education that was adopted in their family. Others, on the contrary, disagree with the parental upbringing measures that were applied to them in childhood, trying to find a different way in relation to their own child and go beyond the framework of upbringing accepted in their family. Very often parents who were under a lot of pressure in childhood act in this way. Trying to compensate for their own suffering, such parents allow their children too much, because they grew up with such parents, their children know neither prohibitions nor restrictions, which often leads to the development of irresponsibility and selfishness.

Another serious obstacle to choosing the optimal parenting style can be differences in the characters of parents. While a pedantic father, paying attention to little things and prone to anger, demands unquestioning obedience and instant execution of orders, a mother who is softer in character, on the contrary, indulges all the child’s weaknesses and whims. Why is this situation dangerous? It can be resolved in two ways: either lead to an increase in the level of anxiety in the child due to constant tense expectation and uncertainty - he will be punished for this act or praised, or to the development of cunning and a tendency to manipulate: the child can learn to play on this difference between mother and father. So, every time after clashes with his father, he can come to his mother in tears and with complaints and beg her for gifts, sweets and simply signs of attention as a consolation prize. The mother, agreeing in this situation that “dad is bad,” thereby undermines the authority of the father in the eyes of the child. This state of affairs angers the father even more, and the intrafamily conflict deepens. Why? The father, observing the plot between the mother and the child, feels unnecessary. By the way, as a rule, under the mask of such a “despot” hides a vulnerable nature with low self-esteem, which requires attention and understanding no less than a child. The roots of this behavior of an adult go to the desire to protect their children from mistakes and difficult experiences. Having suffered humiliation, ridicule and failures in childhood, parents want to see their children as strong, durable individuals and therefore raise their children in “Spartan” conditions. Not taught to love in childhood, without reliable support, they do not know that becoming a strong personality is possible only when there is a feeling that people close to you understand and approve of you.

What to do if hysteria starts?

Even if you do everything right, the baby will not always be in a calm state. He may lose his temper, start screaming, become hysterical and aggressive. Remember that this is not his whim and not a manifestation of bad character. Act wisely in such situations.

If you are in a room and a child starts crying, simply leave the room. This will deprive him of eye contact with you, and his emotional stress may decrease somewhat. It is not recommended to shout in this case, as this will lead to an even more violent reaction.

The tactics of parents with a child with ADHD when outdoors should be as follows:

• do not try to stop or silence the child;
• use the technique of switching attention. Give him candy, show him something on your phone, distract him with a toy.

Hyperactive child: what to do

Parents, be attentive to your child - to his desires, hobbies, feelings, impulses. Learn to understand it - how it manifests itself in life. Not when he becomes older and you can talk to him “like a man” or talk confidentially like girlfriends. No. From the first day of his life - up to a year, a year, at 2 years and at an older age.

After all, the main development of all the innate properties of a child occurs only before the age of 6. By the age of three, his self-awareness is already formed - he begins to become aware of himself, to be aware of his “I” and other people, the world around him. And at the age of 6–8 years and up to 16 years, a cultural superstructure is formed.

Depending on how correctly parents recognize the innate properties of their child, how they can develop them, and how they raise them, the future scenario of his life depends. After all, only by using their innate and developed talents for the benefit of others, doing work they love, can a person feel the joy of living his life. May become happy.

Nowadays, all parents have a chance to raise their child happy. Every brilliant artist, composer, engineer, teacher, doctor had parents. Just like every convict and offender, they also had parents.

The difference in the first and second cases is only in what conditions were created for the possible development of properties, whether the children felt a sense of security and safety from their parents (primarily from their mother), and how they were raised.

Not all recommendations from experts on how to properly raise children are suitable for your child. The experience of the past is often not applicable in the modern world. But parents, if they wish, can obtain such information - it is available in free online trainings by Yuri Burlan “System-vector psychology.”

How to raise a child if he has hyperactivity disorder

Parents must learn to understand where the child shows his innate properties, and where signs of developmental disorders are already appearing. And how to properly raise such a child.

1. Stuttering . If a child stutters, this indicates that parents or educators are trying to force him to perform actions at a faster pace than is typical for his nature. In such cases, it is necessary to familiarize yourself with the rules on how to raise a child with an anal vector. It is necessary to understand that such a child strives to do everything with concentration, thoroughly, slowly, delving into every detail. If you rush, he loses his natural rhythm, and this can affect his speech. The child will begin to stutter. If you start communicating with him at a slow pace, the stuttering will go away.
2. Fears. If any fears arise, the child needs to develop the visual vector: it is necessary to develop his emotionality. This will lead to the fact that his fear for himself will be transformed into concern for others, into empathy. This can be achieved when parents and children read classic literature together for empathy.
3. Sleep disturbance. Headache. If a child complains of headaches, insomnia, or difficulty waking up, this indicates withdrawal and insufficient extroversion in the sound vector. It is necessary to involve him in outward concentration - composing texts, poetry, music, and programming. Get him interested in solving fun problems in physics or mathematics. It is necessary to instill in him the skill of concentrating on surrounding people and events. For a child to be in an extroverted position more often, his mental health depends on this.

From everything described above, it becomes obvious that parents must know how to raise a child in accordance with his innate mental characteristics, and at the same time be able to determine in time what developmental correction paths are necessary if signs of a delay in his psycho-emotional development appear. Then the child will be protected from developmental disorders.

How to deal with a hyperactive student

Everyone understands how difficult it is to teach a child with ADHD, because he simply cannot sit still for a long time and has little understanding of rules and norms of behavior. But nothing is impossible. It is important to approach the solution to the problem thoroughly.

1. Visit a psychologist or psychotherapist regularly.
2. Always check your homework.
3. Stick to a daily routine.
4. Let's take some time to rest. For hyperactive children, this is an integral part of treatment, because it is necessary to remove nervous tension and not cause the feeling that studying only brings discomfort.

Memo for parents:

You should not put pressure on your child and force him to study around the clock if he lags behind other students in his academic performance. Be calm and reasonable.