Love is a wonderful feeling, but there are situations when it transforms and no longer brings pleasure. In this case, they say that there is a love addiction, which can lead to disastrous consequences, so it needs to be fought.
Love addiction in psychology
This problem is studied in detail by experts, and they describe several forms of love addiction.
- Loss of one’s own individuality and the desire to maintain affection by replacing one’s psychological territory with a partner. Love addiction is a person’s desire to devote his entire life to another, so he abandons friends, goals, interests, and so on. This form is characterized by masochistic tendencies.
- Encroachment on personal boundaries, psychological territories and the individuality of the partner. There is over-control and an example is excessive jealousy.
- Destruction of a person’s psychological territory using aggression. Such love dependence can manifest itself in sadistic tendencies. There is destruction and complete suppression of the partner’s individuality.
Causes of love addiction
According to statistics, women are more susceptible to addiction because they are more emotional and can completely dissolve in their partner. Dependence on a love relationship can be triggered by the following reasons:
- Low self-esteem
. A person who considers himself unworthy tries on the role of a victim, and he is ready to please his idol in everything. - Psychological inferiority
. This occurs in a couple where people become dependent on each other because they find advantages for themselves in their partner. As a result, they are connected like Siamese twins. - Inexperience
. Young people who fall in love for the first time succumb to a strong feeling, and in most cases it is false. Submitting to love addiction, they simply do not know that there is another type of relationship. - Difficult childhood
. People who did not receive enough attention from their parents, or suffered mental trauma, are at risk of becoming dependent. - Fear of loneliness
. There are people who are ready to obey and sacrifice their lives for the sake of another, just not to be left without a loved one.
Emotional immaturity
Healthy people are characterized by emotional maturity. They can use all their senses, endure suffering, loneliness associated with spiritual growth. They feel good alone with themselves. They know the answer to the question: “Who am I?” Independent people have developed self-discipline and can delay gratification of desires. They have a more constant mood and the amplitude of fluctuations in fate is not so great. Dependent people have intense feelings, but they are superficial and change frequently, their reactions are immature, like a teenager’s, and they have poor self-discipline. They can neither wait nor choose a worthy partner. For them, the main thing is to depend, as if it doesn’t matter on whom exactly. They, like children, cannot put off gratifying their desires until later.
Love addiction - signs
In most cases, people in such relationships cannot determine the presence of a problem, but those around them will be able to identify the main symptoms without much effort.
- Psychological dependence on love forces changes, and a person begins to copy the interests and habits of his beloved. In addition, he stops communicating with his friends and seems to be protected from the events happening around him.
- The addict does not experience positive emotions from his love, as it should be, but begins to complain about life, reproaching his partner for lack of attention. Dissatisfaction manifests itself almost constantly.
- A clear symptom is considered to be gradually developing depression, even when everything in life is going well and melancholy sets in.
- The addict, through his actions and deeds, destroys relationships with family and friends, moving away from them.
- All conversations come down to one thing - the object of admiration, and all conversations have a positive tone, that is, the beloved is presented in the best light.
Love is a problem
The life of an “anyaholic” is a non-stop, exhausting search for a partner who will “give everything” and completely change fate, even when there is no need for a revolution. As a rule, dependent people do not understand well what the essence of the problem is and often even see advantages in their ability to love. They believe that only a select few can love like this. This is their natural psychological defense, which helps them live, but it also prevents them from taking a sober look at failures in the love sphere and trying to save themselves.
What is the difference between love and addiction?
Many people often confuse these two concepts, so it is worth considering the main differences.
- When normal love is present, lovers feel normal in separation, but when they are dependent, they suffer.
- When figuring out how to distinguish love from addiction, it is worth noting that in the first case, partners have internal freedom, and in the second, it is absent.
- True love inspires, gives positive emotions and helps you become happier and stronger, but addiction is destructive.
- When there are sincere feelings between people, there is equality in the couple, since lovers give each other the opportunity to develop. When love addiction is present, one of the partners suppresses his desires.
How does love addiction end?
Relationships in which a person suppresses himself cannot lead to any good events, since they cause pain and suffering to both partners. A strong love addiction leads to the fact that an individual does not feel complete without a second half, and therefore loses his individuality and interest in life. Breaking up a relationship can ultimately lead to tragic consequences, as there are many reports of people deciding to commit suicide for the sake of love.
Fear of freedom
It is very difficult for dependent persons to change a long-boring job and even devote themselves to entertainment and find a hobby. The loss of a partner is so terrible for them that they cannot even bear to prepare for it. It is very difficult for them to practice reducing dependence. It pains them to give more freedom to another. Therefore, the roles in such a family are solid and ossified. Dependent people even strive to increase infantile interdependence rather than reduce it. They thereby belittle themselves, sabotage their freedom, as well as the freedom of their partner. Women demonstratively refuse to acquire new skills, hoping to tie a man to themselves with their helplessness. The position of the “anyone” is passive waiting.
How to get rid of love addiction?
When a person realizes that his relationship is not normal, it is necessary to put an end to it in time and free himself from the shackles. There are several ways to overcome love addiction, so you can try several of them at once. It is believed that the problem is serious, so it is practically impossible to get out of it without psychological help.
Love addiction - advice from a psychologist
There are numerous psychological methods that provide assistance in such situations, for example, psychoanalysis, hypnotic withdrawal and others. Experts give advice on how to overcome love addiction to a man:
- A good medicine that is suitable for many is a hobby. An activity that will distract you and give you positive emotions will make your life more varied and brighter.
- Work helps to cope with mental problems. Success at work, career advancement, communication with different people, all this is good medicine for breaking up.
- Getting rid of love addiction can be done through sports. Physical activity improves vitality and self-esteem, and also helps improve your appearance. An excellent option is yoga, which has a positive effect on a person’s emotional state. To expend accumulated energy, it is recommended to dance.
- Psychologists advise not to close yourself off and lead an active life, communicating with other people. Support in such a situation is very important.
Prayer for love addiction
Clergymen give recommendations to people with different types of addiction in order to quickly cope with the problem. It is important to confess and receive communion, go to services and regularly communicate with God, asking him for help. If you are interested in how to get out of love addiction with the help of faith, then it is recommended to read the presented prayer every morning and evening.
Conspiracies for love addiction
There is a powerful ritual that helps to cool down feelings, and it must be carried out during the period of the waning Moon, so that along with the Earth’s satellite, dependence also decreases. Women should use magic on women's days: Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. The practice of getting rid of love addiction involves using the natural properties of water.
- Seclude yourself in the room to isolate yourself from external noise, that is, be sure to close the doors and windows.
- Prepare cold water, preferably spring or well water, but tap liquid will do in a pinch.
- The next stage of the technique for getting rid of love addiction involves a spell over a glass of water, which should be repeated three times. After this, drink half the liquid, and wash your face with the other half and sprinkle it around yourself.
Affirmations for love addiction
It is believed that a person can attract events into his life, so it is important to watch your words. If you are interested in how to free yourself from love addiction, then you should use affirmations, that is, positive statements. Numerous repetitions act like self-hypnosis or self-hypnosis. It is believed that the more often you repeat affirmations, the easier it will be to get rid of love addiction. It is important to say them in a positive tone. Example af.
Mantra for getting rid of love addiction
There are special verses that can influence a person’s consciousness, and they also help spiritual perfection, and they are called mantras. They are repeated, listened to and reflected on. For those who are interested in how to overcome love addiction, it is recommended not only to recite mantras, but also to use spiritual practices. It is better to repeat the presented text 108 times every day on the waning moon. It is important to say the mantra as you exhale.
Movies about love addiction
There are many movies that use the theme of love obsession. We can highlight the most popular films about love addiction:
- "Lolita"
. The movie is based on the famous novel and tells about the mad love of a man for a young girl. - "Fear"
. The story tells of a young girl who falls in love for the first time, unaware that her chosen one is a jealous and cruel owner. - "Fan"
. This film tells about the life of a guy in whose class a new girl appears, who falls in love with him and after a while she becomes obsessed with him.
How it happens
Natalya is attractive, smart, educated, financially independent, sociable, and has a wide range of interests. Men like her, but every time a romance breaks out in her life, the same scenario is repeated: the chosen one becomes everything to Natalya. All her thoughts are focused only on him, all her actions are directed only at him. She completely forgets about herself and literally “smothers” him with her love. As a result, he leaves. After his departure, Natalya is in severe depression until they meet again. And then everything repeats according to the previous pattern. Natalia's love resembles addiction - an insatiable need for love.
Books about love addiction
Authors of romance novels often exploit the theme of love addiction in their works. Books on similar topics are very popular.
- "Gone with the Wind" by M. Mitchell
. A well-known classic that describes Scarlet's love for Ashley. She realizes too late that the habit of love has long supplanted the feeling itself. - "The Great Gatsby" F. S. Fitzgerald
. Love dependence on a person can be read in this work. The main character became a rich and influential man, but fell in love with a girl who turned out to be a dummy. As a result, an inexplicable love addiction led to his death. - “Letter from a Stranger” Ts. Stefan
. This book describes the story of a woman in love who decided to write a letter to her object of adoration, and the text took up as much as 30 pages. She doesn't know if the feelings are mutual.
