It’s very hard not to think about the man with whom you spent more than one year. At the same time, life loses its meaning and self-esteem falls. If a man leaves, then in most cases he leaves for someone, and here a lot of questions arise in the woman’s head. How is it better? What does she do that I don't? Maybe she's prettier or smarter?
Most women do not want to accept the fact that they have been abandoned, and do not even try to forget their ex-lover, thinking about him 24 hours a day, believing that he will return, and console themselves with pleasant memories of the former relationship. The consequence of these memories is a dangerous test for the nervous system such as psychosis, depression, misunderstanding with loved ones.
What prevents you from forgetting about your ex-lover, to whom the girl is indifferent, are:
- forced meetings;
- feeling of incompleteness of relationships;
- common children;
- emotional dependence;
- self-criticism. In this case, it is expressed as blaming oneself for what happened;
- loss of individuality - loss of oneself as an individual, a separate unit.
Signs that your man is mentally exhausted, which, if you notice, you can help him
To get rid of thoughts about a man after a breakup, a woman first of all needs to stop thinking about him, to drive away thoughts in every possible way.
Get your mental state in order
The soul, like the body, requires treatment. Psychologists call this treatment replacement therapy, where free time remains only for sleep. The happiness hormone is filled with a variety of positive emotions in life. This could be meeting with friends, traveling, shopping or going to a cafe, visiting a spa with a massage, or just meeting with friends.
How to stop thinking about a person, why do you constantly think about a guy?
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March 18, 2015 | views: 42,497
Such questions often worry those girls who have broken up with their lovers, but cannot “get them out of their heads.” And sometimes girls cannot find an answer to them, and the advice of their friends to whom they turn with a problem does not help them: “I constantly think about a guy, and what to do about it?” But constant thoughts about a man can negatively affect the course of life and even the female psyche. Is it possible to forget about a person in a short time?
Unfortunately or fortunately, we all quickly get used to everything that happens to us. And one of the habits is attachment to the people with whom fate has connected us. And those to whom girls most often become attached are representatives of the opposite sex. “Habit” is the answer to the question of why you constantly think about a person. Imperceptibly, a man invades a woman’s life and becomes a part of it, and just as imperceptibly she gets used to him. But it often happens that the meeting gives way to parting, and the woman has to think about how to stop thinking about her ex. And there are other situations when the cause of the problem is not separation, but a reluctance to have a relationship with a person due to certain circumstances. In any case, this task is not an easy one, but we will try to cope with it. How to stop thinking about a person is the topic of our article.
Why did you decide not to think about the person?
Before you stop thinking about a man, try to figure out whether you really need it. There are several reasons why girls are looking for ways to stop thinking about a guy. Let's name the main ones.
- • Parting. This is perhaps the most common reason. If a girl still loves a man after ending a relationship, then it is not surprising that it is very difficult for her to stop thinking about the person. It happens that breaking up a relationship is difficult, and therefore thoughts about a man also do not leave a woman for a long time. Therefore, it is quite difficult for some to imagine how to stop thinking about their ex.
- • Fear of falling in love. This is not about a phobia, but about the fact that a girl, for some reason, does not want to start a relationship with a person who, nevertheless, is very attractive to her. For example, a man may be married, or a girl has just recently broken up with her ex and is not ready for a new relationship.
- • Incompatibility. Often a woman worries about how to stop thinking about a person when she realizes that he is not suitable for her. Soberly understanding this, the girl cannot forget the person, and this is very psychologically burdensome.
- • Unnecessary. The saddest reason why you think about a person constantly. If a woman understands that she is not needed by a man, her grief knows no bounds. After all, not every girl will pursue a guy, and then, after waiting until she gets tired of it, she will let him go easily and simply. Constant thoughts about her lover, sleepless nights, tears into her pillow - this is what accompanies a girl with unrequited love.
Have you found the reason why you think about a person constantly? Maybe you are in a hurry to part with thoughts about a person? If you are free and love him, then shouldn't you try your luck? After all, in our lives everything changes very quickly, and perhaps a guy who doesn’t think about you will be conquered by you tomorrow. However, if you have finally decided that you want to forget about the person, then we will help you with this.
How to stop thinking about a guy
There are quite a few ways to forget a person. You can, of course, turn to a psychologist for help, but let’s leave this as a last resort. So, if you think about a person constantly, it means there is nothing else to “fill” your head with. Yes, no matter how trivial it may sound, you should just keep yourself and your thoughts busy with something. This doesn’t always work, especially for those who lead a measured lifestyle and whose day is “planned out.” But if you need to forget a person, then you will have to change something anyway. Sign up for a gym or dance class, go to your friends and invite them to visit, visit clubs, discos, go shopping, start renovating your house, in the end. There are many options to distract yourself, but the main thing is to choose what you like. How to deal with sleepless nights? Take an interesting book or magazine to bed with you and read until sleep overcomes you.
Try to avoid the person you want to stop thinking about. Even if life circumstances force you to be close to him, try not to look in his direction. Try not to communicate with a man even on business, but rather do it through third parties. Don't talk to your friends about the guy you want to forget - this way you will remind yourself of him.
Do you have the opportunity to take a vacation? Then this will be a great option to leave your sad thoughts and go to another country to find new friends and new impressions of life.
Love yourself even more. Understand that you are free and ready for a new relationship, but it can be much happier than the previous one. Do you know how to use affirmations? There are many of them and for any occasion. Affirmations are set phrases formed from thoughts that you need to repeat to yourself day after day. For example, “I am happy”, “I radiate love”, “I attract men”, “Best times have come in my life”, etc. You can come up with these phrases yourself, just don’t forget to inspire them in yourself. And as you know, thoughts have the ability to materialize, and therefore think only about a good future, and your dreams will begin to come true. And most importantly, you can easily stop thinking about the person you don’t need at all!
1 comment on this post
- Anthony
Jan 19, 2021 at 10:29Very useful and informative!
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New acquaintances and relationships
Internal and external renewal is not a good reason to make new acquaintances, experience new emotions from them, and find someone who is interested in a new personality. You should never give up dating. Flirting, making advances and being infatuated with a new young man will help you not to remember your former relationship. But you shouldn’t start a serious relationship with the opposite sex right away; it’s better to wait it out and end the old ones completely. After all, now a woman is controlled not by love, but by a feeling of revenge, while a former lover lives in her heart.
Signs of love addiction
It is much harder to forget a guy if you are not just in love, but dependent on a young man. This condition can be compared to a disease for which no medicine can help. It is urgent to take active action if:
- there are no other interests except the object of sympathy, the whole life revolves around the beloved;
- there is a constant and irresistible desire to control every action of a man, while violating all boundaries;
- All you do is try to please the guy and fulfill the slightest whim;
- ready to tolerate any treatment, including disrespect, mockery, ridicule;
- ready to forgive absolutely everything, even such terrible things as betrayal, assault, humiliation;
- dependence on the mood of the partner is visible;
- there is constant uncertainty in the partner, fear that he will leave, doubt about the correctness of the relationship, despair.
If you recognize yourself in at least one point, then you need to get the man you like out of your head as soon as possible, and psychotherapy will help with this. It is not necessary to seek help from a psychologist, although this would be a good option. You can figure it out on your own. First, you need to realize that such love is destructive for both and will not lead to a strong, happy family. Next, you need to harmonize your state of mind, push the young man aside and see the world around you.
READ How to get over a breakup with a girl: a step-by-step plan and recommendations from psychologists
The final step is to understand why the relationship has reached this level. Very often the problem begins in childhood. Until you sort out your past mistakes, you will not be able to build a happy future.
Psychotherapy is the only cure for love addiction!
Bring it to an end
Many men leave a woman without explaining the reason for leaving. A woman’s heart cannot calm down while there is unsaidness and incompleteness left. In order to get rid of this, it is better to convey this to the man himself. You can do this by writing him a letter, or meet and talk face to face. At the end of the letter or conversation, you should thank for the feelings that were in the relationship, forgive and say goodbye forever.
How to understand from a man’s behavior in the early stages of a relationship that he will “sit on your neck”
How to get rid of a crush on a married man
Have you met an incredibly attractive person, but it turns out that he is already taken? And now you constantly think about him and don’t know how to get rid of your crush on a married man? I was in this situation, like many women. And this can happen to absolutely anyone. It doesn't matter whether you have a partner or are single, love is unpredictable.
What is falling in love?
This is a strong feeling that manifests itself towards a person, caused by his attractiveness and charm. It can be short-term and can flow into a stronger feeling - love. I think any person has experienced these wonderful sensations in their life.
Since this is only the first stage of a romantic relationship, then everything is fine with your partner. Falling in love is notoriously short-lived. And it is especially common among young people who are just starting relationships with the opposite sex. This feeling can indeed be strong, but if a person does not reciprocate, then it quickly disappears. But falling in love with a married man is quite normal. And if you are able to experience such feelings, then that is wonderful. Such sensations cause a physical and chemical reaction in the brain, which ultimately makes us happy.
You and a married man
If you don't know how to get rid of a crush on a married man, then problems may arise when you start acting in accordance with your desires, and the man becomes devoted to his partner. Let's be honest with ourselves. You are reading this because you are in a difficult situation and are looking for an excuse or support. Perhaps you want to find ways to build a relationship with him. There are situations when a man may show mutual sympathy and thus wants to provoke an affair. And your feelings are so strong that you are not afraid of consequences and are ready to do anything. Unfortunately, in most cases, a person simply feeds his ego in this way. And if you start a relationship with him, then in most cases it will end badly.
A psychotherapist will help
If all the above points do not help, one of the most effective ways is to contact a psychotherapist. Don't be afraid. The task of a psychotherapist is to understand problems, understand and correct mistakes within a person. With the help of a specialist, you can determine the reason for the memories of your ex-man and take a number of actions in order to forget him.
An ended relationship does not mean the end of life. It is very important at this moment not to immerse yourself in yourself and your thoughts, but to give free rein to your emotions, be active, devote time to yourself and self-care, work, and meeting with friends. There will always be someone with whom there will be a new relationship, who will make you experience new feelings and forget the old ones.
Steps to help you forget him
If you don’t recognize yourself in the above points, then you’re lucky. In this case, we are not talking about love addiction, therefore, in order to stop constantly thinking about a beloved person who you still really like, psychologists advise taking the following steps.
Remove everything that reminds you of him
It’s not for nothing that they say: out of sight, out of mind. Without regret, throw away all things that remind you of your past love. Take an album with photos of you together to your dacha or burn it if you don’t regret your action later. Throw away his toothbrush and the household items he changed into at your place. Give your jewelry to the pawnshop, and with the money you receive, buy yourself new earrings that will represent a new life. Take all gifts that are not too valuable to the trash. Donate plush toys to the orphanage. Remove all his photos from social networks, and him from your friends.
Nothing in your home should remind you of your ex-man, otherwise with your thoughts you will constantly return to the past, remember, worry and cry.
Change your place of residence or go on vacation
If you can’t help but think about him because he lives nearby or you meet each other all the time in your small town, then you can go on vacation for a while. There is no opportunity to rush to the sea or abroad? Visit your grandmother in the village or your beloved friend in another city.
If you are ready for such a serious step, then you can change your address or even your city of residence. This will help radically change your life and reduce to zero the possibility of accidentally meeting your ex-boyfriend.
New you
Changing your image and appearance helps to cope with love experiences. Dramatically change your hair color, wardrobe, style of makeup, to do this, visit a stylist and go shopping. Play sports and lose weight. This will bring enormous benefits - you will pump up your body, and you will forget about suffering, and men will start to like you more, and there will be a good reason to change your clothes.
New relationships
To stop thinking about a person who is absolutely indifferent to you, you need to find someone else who is interested in you. Start communicating with new guys, don’t give up on dates, flirt, make advances. But start dating only when your heart is open to new relationships, otherwise you may offend a young man who really likes you.
Working with your head
Doing your favorite job will help drown out the pain of parting and distract you from sad thoughts. Plunge yourself into it: take on a new project, ask to go on a business trip, take on additional responsibilities, stay at work until late at night, just so as not to return to an empty apartment and not think about your ex-boyfriend. This will only be beneficial: the boss will definitely see your efforts, promote you in position or increase your salary.
Conversations with a psychotherapist
You should not be afraid of psychotherapists, because the science of psychology will help you understand all problems, understand their origins and correct them, so that only a happy future awaits you. Psychotherapists and practicing psychologists conduct their conversation in such a way that you understand your main mistakes and can correct them yourself. The main thing is that with the help of a specialist, you will come to understand why you cannot forget and let go of your ex, as well as what needs to be done to meet a beloved and loving partner.
