To recognize a gigolo in a new fan, it is not at all necessary to ask him about it directly. A few sure signs will help a woman spot a scammer.
Expensive restaurants, branded clothing and shoes, luxury cars, luxury apartments in the center and other attributes of a luxurious life attract some men so much that, unable to earn it all on their own, they become the keepers of rich ladies. Alphonses pretend to be in love, promise their victims a quick wedding, seem sincere and convincing, and at the same time live off deceived wealthy women.
In order not to get hooked by a professional gigolo, girls need to be “on alert” and at the first suspicion take a closer look at their chosen one.
Male gigolo
Who is a gigolo man: signs
Alphonse is a man who seeks to earn money by deception, namely by regularly begging large sums from his chosen one. A man may turn out to be a gigolo if:
- He constantly praises the virtues of his woman , never ceases to admire her talents (which may not actually exist), beauty, intelligence and excellent manners.
- The gigolo man is always courteous, attentive, kind and caring .
- To “blur his eyes,” a gigolo can invite a woman to a cafe or inexpensive restaurant several times. However, he soon begins to have troubles, difficulties with money , and he sadly informs his victim about this.
- often “forgets” his wallet and asks to pay for it , promising to repay the debt soon.
- His friends, relatives, hobbies, occupation - a secret behind seven locks. A professional gigolo will never talk or talk much about himself. Typically, he will ask the woman questions and listen carefully. This way he will collect the necessary information and find the “weak points” of the victim.
- He presses for pity . Alphonse tells the naive lady various sad, pitiful stories, asks for money, promising to return it soon.
- The man promises to marry as soon as his financial situation stabilizes.
- He doesn't have a permanent job.
- As soon as a woman begins to refuse money to the gigolo, he will immediately lose all interest in her.
Who is a gigolo man: signs
How to recognize a gigolo?
In order not to fall into the network of a handsome womanizer, you need to be able to recognize him. This category of men is characterized by the following characteristics:
- Well-groomed appearance, attractive appearance combined with ideal physical shape. Appearance is the key to victory for a gigolo, so he takes care of himself, goes to the gym, and chooses clothes and accessories with style and taste.
- Refined manners. The behavior of the seducer is distinguished by gallantry, emphasizing his upbringing and courtesy with the ladies.
- Frank flattery. A man showers a girl with compliments in order to make a lasting impression on her and conquer her.
- Unfulfilled promises, especially when it comes to the financial side of the issue.
- Feigned interest in the life of the chosen one, her interests. Lovelace is trying in this way to find the girl’s weak points with which he can manipulate her. Knowing what she wants allows you to guess her desires, please her, pulling her more and more into your web.
- Secrecy regarding past life, family, publication of documents, etc. Alphonse tries by all means to avoid talking about himself and his relatives. He will do everything to prevent his partner from getting to his passport (especially if she is a fraudster who introduced himself under a false name).
- Complete absence of financial expenses for your beloved, lack of money. This sign can manifest itself in different forms, ranging from the phrase “I forgot my wallet” to the fact that a girl takes out a loan for her loved one.
- Indifference to your partner's problems. Well, if the issues are serious, then even worse, cowardly flight.
- Sudden problems, troubles, serious illness, etc. All this is necessary to evoke a feeling of pity.
- Constant search for work. Alphonse pretends that he is trying to find a job, or stays in one position for a short time.
As a result, it should be noted that the most important sign that a woman has met a gigolo follows from the definition of this status - a man builds a relationship with a woman for the sake of profit, absolutely not investing his strength and resources to create a common good.
How gigolo men behave: rules of conduct
All gigolos have a similar “handwriting”. The scenario of the behavior of these men seems to be written as a carbon copy. All of them:
- They take care of their appearance , keep their body in shape, visit beauty salons, gyms and solariums.
- They conquer women with good manners, attentiveness and courtesy . Generous with words, but stingy with gifts.
- They conduct the conversation leisurely, making significant pauses in the conversation, looking into the woman’s eyes .
- They confess to the lady their strong feelings for her, giving hope for the extension and legitimization of the relationship in the future.
- with interest to stories about a woman’s work, personal life, and hobbies .
- If a woman asks for help, they refuse under any pretext or promise help, but not immediately, but sometime later.
- They talk about their work (which in fact does not exist) evasively, in general phrases, or translate the topic.
- never invite women to their home, do not introduce them to relatives and friends, and do not show them documents .
- They try to do everything possible to ensure that their victims communicate with their friends and relatives as little as possible.
In Russia, gigolos began to be called men who live in the support of wealthy ladies, in honor of the hero of A. Dumas’s comedy “Monsieur Alphonse,” who spent the money the woman earned on his own pleasures. Alphonse abroad is a common male name.
How gigolo men behave: rules of conduct
Psychology of the gigolo man, characteristics
The victims of gigolo men are not always rich ladies. Very often, kindness and gullibility play a cruel joke with ordinary women who give their last to help their loved one in a difficult life situation.
Household gigolos do not need too much from their victims. If a woman has her own home and a promising job with a good salary, she can easily be deceived by such a scammer. Gentle, affectionate, kind, but at the same time unemployed and lacking initiative, he settles down next to the active, businesslike and kind “mommy”.
He calmly spends the money the woman earns on his own needs, and sometimes helps with housework for this. In cases where a woman is satisfied with this situation, her relationship with a gigolo can last quite a long time.
Psychology of the gigolo man, characteristics
A conscientious gigolo tries to meet a wealthy lady. As a rule, this man is well versed in women, knows how to charm and make people fall in love with him. He chooses women of “Balzac’s age” who still crave love adventures, but have already lost their former charm.
The lack of male attention immediately makes itself felt. A wealthy but lonely lady believes every word of the rogue, lets him into her life and, in the end, pays for it with her own money. After the gigolo disappears with a decent amount of money to “solve problems,” the woman still continues to wait for him for some time. When the epiphany comes, it is too late - the would-be groom is probably already winning new hearts on the other side of the country.
A conscientious gigolo is well versed in female psychology, knows how to charm and please
How to recognize a gigolo man on a dating site or in real life?
Dating sites are the favorite “habitat” of gigolos. Here, selfish men can take a closer look at their chosen one and find out whether it is worth spending time on her. Moreover, a man will not need money at all for a date online.
How can a woman recognize a gigolo on a dating site? Just pay attention to what the groom writes:
- He willingly sends his photos. You will see your chosen one “in all his glory”: there will be portraits and full-length photos taken at professional photo shoots.
- The appearance and figure of the man in the photographs is impeccable.
- When corresponding, the man does not make spelling or punctuation errors and constructs sentences correctly.
- There is no hint of vulgarity or rudeness in communication. Alphonse showers his chosen one with compliments, admires her beauty, and is interested in the details of her life.
- He admits that he dreams of meeting true love, but so far he has had no luck.
- He will tell very little about himself.
- If a woman admits that she needs money, she stops communicating with her.
Internet gigolos have several options in development at the same time. They send the women identical poems and cards. They also swear eternal love to several ladies at once.
How to recognize a gigolo man on a dating site?
In real life, gigolo behaves the same way as he does online. All his actions are aimed at charming a woman and making her fall in love with him. Alphonse says compliments and tender words, looks into the eyes, sighs sadly. At the same time, he is in no hurry to give gifts to his chosen one. He talks little and reluctantly about himself.
He forgets money at home or loses it, and his salary is delayed. A woman often has to pay for her boyfriend in restaurants and shops. Soon he starts talking about problems with his business (which, by the way, does not exist) or other incredible difficulties.
How to recognize a gigolo man in life?
Types of gigolos
The situation is complicated by the fact that there are several types of dependent behavior of guys, and it is quite difficult to immediately understand that a woman has fallen into the trap of a gigolo.
Slacker or house gigolo
The most common type of parasitism in everyday life. The man’s benefit in this case is not the financial condition of the victim, but comfortable living with her in the same territory in order to satisfy everyday needs and requirements.
Sometimes becoming a domestic slacker is forced. For example, a man was fired from a good and highly paid position, and he temporarily found himself among the unemployed. In such a situation, a woman becomes the breadwinner in the family for a certain period of time. But at the same time, the beloved takes on part of the troubles of running the household.
A “professional” gigolo slacker sits safely at home and does not try to find a job. He’s already happy with everything: the girl works several jobs to feed her family and takes care of the housework on her own. There is no need to expect help from him. The end justifies the means – minimum effort and maximum benefit for yourself.
Women with low self-esteem who are ready to sacrifice a lot for the sake of love most often fall into the trap of this type of relationship. But the paradox is that the partner’s behavior further destroys the girl and forms her dependence on her “beloved.”
Characteristic signs of behavior of a domestic gigolo:
- pretends to be trying to find a job;
- constant excuses to justify staying at home;
- moral destruction of a partner;
- indifference to household chores;
- employment is temporary, for a short period;
- Most of the time is spent living life for pleasure (meeting with friends, beer, clubs, etc.).
This type of man cannot tolerate criticism or comments addressed to him. He will not leave the family until he finds a new victim.
Alphonse the gigolo
The main weapon of a seducer is to hook a woman’s feelings. Here it can go several ways:
- Arouse pity and sympathy from your charming companion. Having met on her way a restrained, confused guy with a difficult fate, she will definitely be imbued with sympathy and want to help.
- Do whatever she loves, whatever she likes. Is it possible not to fall in love with a person who “understands you this way”?
- Beautiful and romantic to look after. Courtesy, attention, care - will conquer every woman. A beautiful bouquet of flowers and gifts are used to lure the victim into their net.
Such manipulations are aimed at tying a woman to herself, causing dependence, in order to get as much as possible from her without demands. After all, a girl in love will give everything herself, just to make him happy.
This category of gigolos can have several patroness at the same time. And he needs them exactly as long as he can solve his financial problems with their help.
Alphonse the professional
A man carries his idea with dignity, he is confident in himself, he clearly knows what he wants. His goal is to gain a decent social status. In this regard, he is interested not only in money, but also in the connections of the applicant for a relationship. The victims of professional gigolos are established, prosperous business women who walk confidently through life and have various credentials.
A seducer of this type is smart, neat, well-groomed, decisive, impeccably dressed, has an expensive car, and uses only branded items. His strong quality is his awareness of what is happening around him in the field of fashion, culture, and most importantly, his understanding of female psychology.
With the help of this knowledge and the ability to understand various areas, the gigolo is freely able to understand the status of a woman, start a conversation with her, interest her, and lure her into his network.
A distinctive feature of this type of relationship is that the partner understands perfectly well what she is paying for. The couple format is most often presented in the form of an older business woman and a guy much younger than her. The presence of a handsome, gallant young lover nearby is one of the ways for such a woman to stroke her vanity.
But since the career growth of a professional hotshot is not long, he has to constantly change patrons in order to have time to provide himself with a large bank account, a car and other material assets. Sometimes the result of a relationship is marriage in order to freely dispose of his wife’s property.
Why do men become gigolos?
It is the women themselves, or rather their behavior, who force gigolos to choose an easy, albeit dishonest, way to make money. From childhood, boys get used to the fact that women are stronger and more authoritative than most men. They watch how their mother easily copes with problems and earns money to provide the family with everything they need.
From the hands of a woman, the boy gets used to receiving everything he needs. When he grows up, he simply cannot cope with the problems that have befallen him, so he finds the same “mommy” who is ready to do anything for him, and continues to live as before.
Why do men become gigolos?
If a man is a gigolo: what to do?
When a woman realizes that there is an ordinary gigolo next to her, she is already so much in love that she is ready to forgive him everything. The hardest thing is to get over yourself and your feelings and end such a relationship. It is naive to hope that gigolo will change.
You can very easily test the “strength of feelings” of such a man, and at the same time prove to yourself that continuing the relationship is pointless. It is enough to simply tell the gigolo that the money has run out and will not appear soon. The scammer will soon disappear under any pretext.
If a man is a gigolo: what to do?
What is a gigolo?
Or maybe it's not so scary after all? Who is gigolo? According to established stereotypes, this is a man who lives at the expense of his beloved. Is it really?
According to psychologists, this type of man includes sons who were disliked in childhood and who did not receive enough attention and care from their mothers. They are unable to make independent decisions, take responsibility for making decisions, for the people close to them.
The first signs of characteristic behavior appear from an early age:
- borrowing money without repayment;
- line of behavior in the manner of “everyone owes me”;
- selfishness;
- financial insolvency;
- Constant excuses like “I forgot my wallet”, “no cash”, “card has expired”, etc.
According to the explanatory dictionary, ed. Ushakova, gigolo is a man who receives payment, maintenance from a woman for sexual intercourse with her.
Sometimes guys are forced to acquire a similar status, but more often than not, this is a type of professional dependency based on the use of a woman’s resources (strength, energy, material well-being).
Such relationships pose a danger to representatives of the fair half of humanity. This is due to the fact that, often, the motive for a lover’s actions is hidden, and a woman understands the deplorability of the situation only when she is left with nothing and a broken heart.
How to get rid of a gigolo man?
It will not be possible to get rid of the gigolo right away if the relationship has gone far enough. If you can’t say it directly, proceed as follows:
- stop giving money and any other help
- start complaining back, ask a man for help
- come up with a big problem and talk only about it
- ask the man to go to work, get money to pay off his debts
This will be enough for the gigolo to immediately feel uncomfortable, and then completely disappear from the woman’s life.
How to get rid of a gigolo man?
After breaking up with a gigolo, a woman will certainly feel emptiness, pain and loneliness. Being cruelly deceived by a beloved man and realizing one’s own helplessness is very difficult, so sometimes ladies have to turn to a psychologist for help.
The gigolo's victim needs to be prepared for the fact that he will be haunted by a depressive state for a long time. However, it is important to understand that sooner or later everything will get better, the pain will subside, and on the path of life you will definitely meet a real strong, kind, loving and caring man.
What to do if you fall in love with a gigolo?
If a woman falls in love with a gigolo, she needs to make a decision for herself:
- accept such a man and invest in him in the hope that he will not run away;
- end this relationship, even if the feelings are really strong.
In a situation of acceptance, a woman takes responsibility for the fact that she will be used (this is what, for example, rich people do in relation to young lovers who are in their custody).
Once you decide to end the relationship, you can do one of the following:
- simulate serious financial problems - naturally, the gigolo no longer needs a woman who is not able to cover his financial expenses;
- start a conversation about family, children - the threat of being ringed will scare away the scammer;
- refuse to pay his bills, expenses - having lost what everything was started for, the hot guy will not stay in the field of vision of his partner for long;
- demand to get a job - laziness and lack of independence will force the ladies' man to switch to another victim;
- confront the fact - while there are feelings, the girl tries not to touch on such sensitive topics so as not to lose her loved one, but directly asking the question will scare off the swindler.
Fraudsters try to avoid strong, self-sufficient people; they want victims who are insecure and easy to manipulate. If such actions do not lead to the desired result, then the man is not a gigolo at all.
