The inimitable Faina Ranevskaya once asked her young colleagues, who were diligently thinking about how to find a spouse, why they needed to get married at all. The girls did not understand the question, and the actress continued her reasoning: “If there is a husband, there are a lot of problems, and if he is not there, then there is only one problem - there is no husband.”
Many women are acutely aware of the problem of loneliness. And in the modern world of love, full of temptations and diversity, it is not so easy to find a partner who is ready to give up the exclusive right to a relationship, much less bring the relationship to its logical conclusion. In search of a husband, many commit a lot of rash actions, reducing the chances to almost a minimum. Is there a special recipe for family happiness, or how to find a worthy candidate for your hand and heart? We’ll write below.
- 8 simple tips to help you get attention
Advice - how to get married?
Women who dream of marrying a serious man, but have not yet met their lover, need to follow a few tips:
- Wear long hair, but with one condition: your hair should always be clean and well styled
- Wear dresses and skirts as often as possible. Pants, shorts and jeans are still not women's clothing
- Let your manicure always look perfect. Men pay attention to the condition of a woman's hands immediately after they notice the absence of a wedding ring on her finger
- Communicate with people, don't close yourself off. At the same time, do not focus on your desire to get married.
- Visit exhibitions, museums, theaters and cinemas
- Get a dog and walk it every day at the same time. This technique will help you become more noticeable to a potential groom.
Don't advertise your desire to get married
For those whose boyfriend is in no hurry to propose marriage, you can cheat a little:
- Pretend that you are not expecting a proposal and are not thinking about marriage at all.
- Never deny your man sex
- Keep your home clean
- Learn to cook his favorite dishes
- Try to listen to your young man, understand and accept his position
- Consult with him, show him that his opinion is important to you
- Do not show him your irritation, anger and other negative feelings and emotions.
- Don't hold it. Give him more freedom. Don't control
All these tips are good for both unmarried girls and married women. After all, finding a worthy man and marrying him is only half the battle. It is important to always remain loved and desired by your husband, only then can the marriage be called successful.
Advice from psychologists
There is no ready-made instruction on how to find a husband, since a woman may not be able to start a family for various reasons. During consultations, it often turns out that clients subconsciously avoid marriage themselves, because they are afraid of responsibility, loss of freedom, cooling of relationships and betrayal... Others complain: “Where can I find a good man if all around are womanizers, alcoholics, losers, fools.”
Such attitudes towards marriage and men need to be changed. Then you will really be able to discern in your next acquaintance the same one - with a rich inner world and capable of providing financially for a family, life with whom will be much happier than in splendid isolation.
How to make a man the best husband
For a husband to be truly good, it is not enough to have a groom suitable for this role. Even the best workpiece can be used to make an ugly, low-quality product. So it is with men. If you do not master the art of correctly influencing them, there is a high probability that a person will begin to resist, even destroying himself. Of course, there is no need to talk about any favorable atmosphere in the family then.
What is this art of influencing a spouse? First of all, in understanding when to be firm and when to make concessions to him. And how you need to convince your husband of something. Some people need tough persistence on the part of the woman for this, while others need a soft, sometimes compassionate approach.
A man’s ambition must be fueled, simultaneously developing self-respect in him, and not destroyed. And then he will certainly want to become better and will make every effort to do so. A narrow-minded, hysterical, quarrelsome wife will never achieve such an effect.
In a word, you don’t have to look for a good husband, but do it. He is not a gift of fate, but the result of the hard work of his soul mate. Only this work should be such that the loved one does not even know about it. Let's allow him to save face by delicately reshaping some qualities in our own way and tactfully directing him to the desired path of development. Let him think that he himself makes the right decisions. And then the man will eventually really learn to accept them.
Where can a woman with a child find a man?
A woman who has a child or several children should not give up on her personal life; many men do not see the presence of offspring in their chosen one as an obstacle if she herself fits their definition of a wife, especially if the gentleman has a son, a daughter in a previous marriage, or his children already adults and live separately.
You can find a worthy candidate on the Internet, at work, in interest clubs, among friends. If a woman is not afraid of a man having his own small children, it is worth paying attention to fathers who bring their offspring to kindergarten, school, clubs, and playgrounds. Among them may be divorced guys who want to start a new family.
Of course, the girl will have to accept the idea that not everyone can replace her own father. If a child knows who his dad is, loves and communicates with him, then the fact of replacement will be meaningless. Let the mother’s new husband become a friend, a close person; this format of relationship will allow you not to break the child’s psyche and will be sufficient for building a benevolent, smooth life.
How to find a worthy man - where to start
Before you start looking for a life partner, you need to understand yourself, your character, desires, interests and needs. Only by knowing herself can a woman understand what kind of man is capable of making her happy.
If you feel that you are not able to cope with the study of your inner world on your own, contact a specialist (psychologist), sign up for self-knowledge training, or read the relevant literature. When engaging in personal development, do not forget that your appearance and manners must also be at a high level, they must be constantly improved, achieving perfection. To speed up this process, record a small part of your life on video. By looking at yourself from the outside, you will very quickly see all the shortcomings and understand in which direction you should work to eliminate them.
A large amount of literature has been published with advice on how to find and attract a worthy man. Many books describe visualization techniques. It works like this: you need to imagine your ideal life partner in great detail. First, write on paper what traits a man should have, then decide on his appearance, manners, and clothing style. Finally, think about the negative qualities and decide which ones are acceptable and which ones you absolutely do not accept.
After compiling a list of character traits of an imaginary person, analyze which of them you yourself possess and which properties you do not have. This will allow you to understand what can unite you with your future partner and in what direction you need to work on yourself. When creating a visualization, you should not rush. Let it take several weeks to prepare the finished image, because the main thing is not speed, but quality consideration of all the details. When you have decided on all the features of your ideal partner, start imagining that this man is already present in your life, but you don’t know him yet. You shouldn't passionately want him to appear. Just rest assured that it will happen soon.
Clear image i
In order to find a good husband, one who is right for you, you need to have a formed idea of what kind of man you want to see next to you. For each woman, the concept of a “good husband” is purely individual. For some, this is a man with a good, stable income, who is often away and does not limit the freedom of his wife. And someone dreams of an attentive, caring husband with golden hands.
Until a certain image of your ideal man appears in your subconscious, all relationships with the opposite sex will bear the imprint of uncertainty.
You can even take a blank sheet of paper and write down on it all the qualities that your future chosen one will have to have. The larger your list, the better. The Universe hears our thoughts and pushes us towards the one who best suits our collective image. This must be a person with certain character traits, a set of external characteristics, and similar interests.
When you clearly know what kind of man you want next to you, then even at the first meetings you will understand whether this or that man is suitable for you or not. However, you should not think that you will feel your man right away. More than one date will pass when you realize that you are attracted to this person.
Signs that a man might make a great husband
We often fall into a trap, focusing only on our own feelings when choosing a life partner. No doubt, every girl wants to marry the man she loves. But, alas, reality proves that love marriages are rarely successful and strong. Because when emotions rage, the mind is silent. And we simply ignore warning signs that a person is not fit for family life.
This is understandable. In the euphoria of falling in love, you don’t want to overshadow your state with a pragmatic approach to the qualities of your partner. But if we really intend to create a completely prosperous union, like it or not, we will have to take off our rose-colored glasses, albeit with difficulty. So as not to gnaw your elbows later, regretting your own frivolity and short-sightedness.
So, what should be the main signs that a man can become a good husband?
- Sincerity
If a gentleman in a conversation tries to avoid discussing some personal issues and prefers to talk about himself as little as possible, you should be wary. It is very possible that after the wedding, not entirely pleasant circumstances will be revealed regarding his past, present and plans for the future. Well, the past is the past. Anything can happen in life, and people often change for the better.But the present and plans for the future may turn out to be completely unacceptable for us. Therefore, a person must be open, not hiding what is in his soul and mind. Such frankness demonstrates trust, which is a good basis for creating a serious relationship.
- Reliability
We often fall head over heels in love with guys whose behavior is like the wind. You never know in which direction your loved one will be carried and what he will throw out. Needless to say, for family life this fact is like a knife to its core? A husband who cannot be relied upon for anything cannot be a support, although sometimes he is suitable as a protection.But how can you feel completely safe without firmament under your feet? When you have a fickle, unpredictable, albeit extremely decent person nearby, can you really rely on him? How can you be sure that such a husband will always provide support during difficult times? Of course not. This means that we first check the gentleman for reliability, and then we think about marriage with him.
- Listening skills
In principle, both men and women need to have this quality. In family life you cannot do without the ability to listen and hear each other. No, in superficial discussions on general topics, sometimes you don’t have to delve into every word. If the issue being discussed is not that important, it is not necessary to devote all your attention to it. But when the conversation turns to significant things - about what worries, upsets or, on the contrary, gives pleasure - here each spouse must listen to his other half.Otherwise, they will not achieve mutual understanding. And if at the very beginning of the relationship there are signs that the guy does not listen to our statements about personal experiences, we should be wary. It is likely that he will also be deaf to discussing any family problems.
- Ability to argue
Often, when choosing a husband, we want to see in our chosen one a person with whom there will never be disagreements in the future. This is the wrong approach to marriage. Disagreements are an integral part of the normal coexistence of two people. After all, they are the ones who allow us to find the optimal solution to a particular problem. Dispute is the father of truth. But he must be honest and fair.If a guy gets angry during discussions and can even insult, these are bad signs. Because in a marriage, he will probably start making trouble if any ambiguous situation arises. In order to become a good husband, a young man must be able to discuss controversial issues without much heat or getting too personal. Only in this case will it be possible to always come to a compromise and save the marriage, despite all the troubles of life.
- Activity in developing relationships
This means that the guy should strive to take care of the young lady, help her make some decisions, plan something together with the girl, and be interested in her problems. Unfortunately, today there are many men who take a passive position in such matters.They either wait for their friend to cut all the Gordian knots, or they just let everything take its course. Living with such a person is quite difficult. Unless, of course, we intend to be the head of the family. Because he is unlikely to bear responsibility for his loved ones. In any case, he will try to stay away from her, pushing the lion's share of responsibilities onto his wife's shoulders.
We can talk for a long time about what the signs should be of which bachelor will become a good husband in the future. However, there is one significant nuance in all this. Some generally good guys just have no idea about the demands of marriage.
They relate to family life based on extensive concepts about it. There are even young people who are confident that marriage should not change anything in their lives at all. And when it does change, they either don’t know how to behave, or are trying to get rid of such an unexpected condition.
And they get rid of it in different ways. Some go on a spree, while others run away from the family altogether. Therefore, the task of a girl who says to herself: “I want a good husband!” is not so much to find him, but then to fashion him for herself. What is the essence of creating a life partner?
